feeling left out because I'm so different....

[Jin]

ok... I have a g/f , about a 6-7 in looks but a solid 10 in personality and character... but.. I feel like we have nothing really in common. I fell like its more myself than anything because...

1. I don't drink alcohol.. very rarely and I think beer is the most putrid substance on earth and wonder why anyone would drink this crap

2. relating to alcohol.. I never.. ever get drunk... I don't see the point... why drink piss so you can act like and ass and do stupid ****.. I can have just as much fun without drinking and geting wasted and I can remember what I did last night.

3. I like martial arts and boxing... so this makes people think I'm a weirdo (??)


I feel like I'm so different from everyone here cause all they like to do is hang out at the bar, drink beer, get wasted and act retarded... remember when you were in high school and some one would come in and say "Dude! I got so wasted last night!" and everyone would laugh like its funny and everyone thought he was "cool" becuase he got "wasted"

Well,... I thought that guy was a retard who doesn't know how to have fun without alcohol... and I thouht he was a piece of disgusting sh!t.

I like to DO things... lets play vollyball, or rollerhocky, lets do an activity instead of dancing to crappy rap...
oh yeah one other thing that sets me apart from evertyone else... I hate... i mean really hate... rap... I like heavy metal... Ill Nino, Korn, Adema, ect... ect... but I also like other music as well... flamenco, classical, some techno.... and even a little symphonic gothic music....

and to top it all off.. my g/f like to do all the above things mentioned... likes beer, likes rap... and likes just talking in a boring bar...

is there something wrong with me...? why can't I find ANYONE like me....??

someone please tell me what I can do to relate to her... and in all fairness, when I do talk to her shes a smart girl, has a beautiful smile and likes to have fun... just not my kind of fun...

and ideas or tips are greatly appreciated....

Best,

Jin

 

[jnallen]

Be you own man

In life you do what makes you happy as you only have one life to live. If someone doesn't like you for that then are they really going to be a good friend? Better yet shy would you want them around.

If someone esle doesn't like it. Then piss on them. There are plenty of others to connect with.

On the other side how can you not like BEER????????

Just kidding. To each his own. You can be the DD.

 

[Jin]

There are plenty of others to connect with

see, that just it.... I have not met anyone here like me....

not......one.......soul..

but I hear you... live my own life and enjoy it as much as I can.


anything anyone want to add...? ;-)~

Best,

Jin

 

[Rahul]

You know if you don't want to hang out with people that listen to rap music and hang around in bars, then maybe you shouldn't hang out in bars that play rap music? It also might have to do with your age group because that's what kids a like these days (I know since I just recently got out of highschool).

I don't know, if you want to meet people that are like you then you should meet them through avenues where you would find them. You said you were into martial arts, have you ever tried picking up chicks or making friends at your dojo? You said you listened to heavy metal, do you ever go to heavy metal concerts or do you just listen to it by yourself?

Think about it...

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

You're different, but in a good way.

Be proud of that and live your life.

One thing you need to realize is that people change and grow apart. That's why we go through so many GF's on our way to adulthood.
You meet someone and things are great, until you start growing apart in beleifs and interests.

That's when it's time to evaluate your relationship.

The Bad Ass Canadian

 

[MetalFortress]

Maybe it has to do with you thinking that Ill Niño, Korn and Adema are metal. They are as far from being metal as it gets. But really, you can't find a dojo or gym around there to meet people who are into martial arts or boxing?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by DJ IronGirevik
Maybe it has to do with you thinking that Ill Niño, Korn and Adema are metal. They are as far from being metal as it gets. But really, you can't find a dojo or gym around there to meet people who are into martial arts or boxing?

There is a lot of varieties of music other than rap and metal. Not saying that you have to switch from metal but that it wouldn't hurt to expand your musical taste to stuff other than rap.

As for the drinking and getting sloppy drunk, I'd be wary of anyone who thinks that you need to do that to have fun. These people tend to be very dependent and clingy at times. Not a good scene.

Your interests may not be that of the masses but you surely not alone in them. So you won't find much in common with the typical club rat, big whoop. Start eying the women that take part in the same sports you do, at least you'll have a good chance of ending up with HB with a slamming body

 

[Jin]

ok...ok.. I'll call it "heavy music"... happy now...? ;-)~

anyway... all your suggestions are great.. except.... I live and work in the same place.... at Club Med... in a resort where it has its own bar (where I'm required to go to mingle with guests at night, where all they play is rap)

and I live on-site... which means I live directly on the resort where I work... and I only get one day a week off and I cannot go to or join a dojo as this is a small town and there is nothing here... so I'm screwed in every way possible.... yay for me!

what I'm really asking is how I can work with what I've got to make our relationship a little easier... ? one question you prob can't answer without direct observation... but its ok...

I'm a very strong believer in willpower and I'll find something that works or I'll just break it off and wait till the seasons over.... when I move to Miami!! yeah baby!!..

thanks for all the help guys... ;-)~

Best,

Jin

 

[Julian]

Quit being such a square. You dont have to like stuff other people do to be friends with them. Of course commonalities are needed. I think you need to have more of an open mind. Obviously you have a biased opinion towards alcohol, your views are jaded by something.

Sure alot of people turn into blubbering imbeciles when they're drunk as skunks but thats why alcohol exists. If your going to dissacociate from it then dont whine about it afterwards.

 

[Jin]

Quit being such a square

hmmm... I'm sure people have told you this and did it work..? did you change...?? I see.....

You dont have to like stuff other people do to be friends with them. Of course commonalities are needed.

you just contradicted yourself... but I understand what you mean... and its not that I don't have friends, but there are no people around me that are remotly close in my areas of intrests, view-points, or in character... which I understand is a good thing, but also a bad thing when it comes to relating to people....

Obviously you have a biased opinion towards alcohol, your views are jaded by something.

yes I do, because I see no point in drinking it... the only and only reason people drink is to "let go," "loosen up" or to escape reality.. in other words.... they use it as a crutch to get where they want to go... and to me thats a sign of weakness... in other words.. you don't have the balls to do it without alcohol... that tells me that you can't find more healthy and constructive ways to have fun, talk to chicks and enjoy yourself without alcohol.

If your going to dissacociate from it then dont whine about it afterwards.

Hey, gotta vent sometimes.... were only human after all.... ;-)~

still searching for people like me..

Best,

Jin

 

[Conquest]

Originally posted by jnallen
Be you own man

In life you do what makes you happy as you only have one life to live. If someone doesn't like you for that then are they really going to be a good friend? Better yet shy would you want them around.

If someone esle doesn't like it. Then piss on them. There are plenty of others to connect with.

On the other side how can you not like BEER????????

Just kidding. To each his own. You can be the DD.

EXACTLY what I was going to write! Great post.

 

[Conquest]

Originally posted by Jin


yes I do, because I see no point in drinking it... the only and only reason people drink is to "let go," "loosen up" or to escape reality.. in other words.... they use it as a crutch to get where they want to go... and to me thats a sign of weakness... in other words.. you don't have the balls to do it without alcohol... that tells me that you can't find more healthy and constructive ways to have fun, talk to chicks and enjoy yourself without alcohol.



Hey, gotta vent sometimes.... were only human after all.... ;-)~

still searching for people like me..

Best,

Jin

I totally hear ya man and I know where you are coming from. I disagree on your view of alcohol though. Sometimes after a hard weeks work, throwing back a few beers and not going overboard can be a GREAT time. I'm not talking about getting completely drunk and having a hangover and negative memories (due to suppression of long-term potentiation of the NMDA receptor complex from excessive alcohol consumption). Yeah yeah I know, but biochemistry and psychology are my other two passions, so disregard the last comment if you like Anyway, I totally know where you are coming from. Feeling like there is nobody out there who connects with you on all levels. Well guess what? That person doesn't exist!!! And if it did, it would be a very boring person to be with. Think about it...why would you want to be with someone who is so similar to you? It doesn't create enough mental stimulation for you, just comfort. I know I know, comfort FEELS good at the time, but trust me, being with people that are different is a much more interesting way to go about life. I'm not talking about people that are so different from you that it obviously wouldn't work, just somebody that has a similar personality. Get out there and keep meeting more people bro...and like someone said above, go to concerts and other places that have people that like things you do and be outgoing. I hope things with you and your girlfriend go well, and if not, always know that you are in control of your own life, and if you want...you can find someone else. Peace.

Ryan

 

[Howie Farkes]

Originally posted by Jin
I think beer is the most putrid substance on earth and wonder why anyone would drink this crap

I don't ever want hear such blasphemy here on these boards again - OK?

 

[Conquest]

Re: Re: feeling left out because I'm so different....

Originally posted by Howie Farkes
I don't ever want hear such blasphemy here on these boards again - OK?

LOL!!!

 

[Ar7]

Originally posted by Jin

is there something wrong with me...? why can't I find ANYONE like me....??
Jin

IMO you are not anymore different than the next person (I used to be exactly like you), its just that your world seem to be restriced to the box that you live in.

Everything in this world has a good and bad side about it, you just gotta explore it. In your case anything outside your world is a bad thing in an instant.

 

[Celadus]

You are like me. We like the same things, and have the same feelings..I'm slowly learning that the problem is with me, and not others. I feel like someone has to be just like me to be friends.

I'm never going to meet someone just like me. I'm too good looking, smart, witty, and cool to ever find a perfect match. I am 19, and years ahead of my peers in terms of maturity.

Life is a pain. Nothing works out the way you want, and most people are miserable. You have to learn to enjoy the moment. That means compromising. At school I hang out with two different groups, the track team and the pot heads. I don't belong to either one. I don't run and I might smoke once every two weeks. But, through them I meet new and possibly better people.

I've had Social Anxiety Disorder for the past five years, and have improved the quality of my life by so much in the last few weeks just because I realized I have to make the best of what I have. For the first time, women are approaching me.

You work at Club Med...it seems to me that represents everything you don't like(beer and dancing). Leave as soon as you can. On a side note, beer is awful...Drink mixed drinks.

 

[drew6532]

I know exactly what you mean, as I'm kind of in a similar situation. If you plan on gutting it out and staying there for a while, you really have no choice but trying to find what you have in common with others around you.

Thats what I try to do. I try to adapt the best way I can, without feeling like I'm "downgrading" myself. Find a common ground with others. Once I established some sort of rapport with them, it became easier to try and invite them into my way of having fun instead of "acting retarded ". And with your "10 in personality and character" you shouldn't have too much trouble doing this.

 

[Jvesti]

Jin I'm pretty much like you myself your a rare person. I guess I co-exist amounst my friends which i hang out with like 1-2 times a week. They go to the bar/club w/ me and drink their asses off while i find drinking dumb as **** and pointless. I'd rather socialize and meet new people. We are friends because we share a mutual interest in females and socializing that's about it. On a side note my behavior slightly influences them and they are a whole lot better off for that.

It also doesn't mesh well with the fact that 14-16 hours of my day, 7 days a week is dedicated to my goals, business, self-improvement. Not to partying, wasting precious time, getting drunk off my ass to be desensitized to the world.

As for girls, I really haven't met a girl I respect yet. I used to see this girl for more than a one night thing like 2 months ago. Just to test myself, thought I was abnormal because i didn't like any girl as a person all i wanted was sex. Hung out with her for about a month. did i develope feelings for this common, barfly, go nowhere girl even though she was hot? Nope, not a shred and when she ****ed up I closed her out of my life foreever. Thank God, she was draining me and getting in the way of what i want out of life not enrichening it.

You see people like us are rare and fortunately for us every human is a magnet. You will eventually attract yourself to people just like you. This will happen when you become more independent and get up and move around this world. I personally have been meeting people like myself, although they might not be local. I have found other ambitious success driven people future business partners just by putting myself out there.

Be your own person, you start to show(not tell) those around you why acting the way you do is a better way. They will fall in line under you. Stand strong, do your own thing, don't hang out with people that aren't much good for ya all the time keep them at a distance grow as a person and eventually you'll have the life and people you around you you want.

Jvesti123
aim: Jvesti123
yahoo: Jvesti

 

[NewMan]

yes I do, because I see no point in drinking it... the only and only reason people drink is to "let go," "loosen up" or to escape reality.. in other words.... they use it as a crutch to get where they want to go... and to me thats a sign of weakness... in other words.. you don't have the balls to do it without alcohol... that tells me that you can't find more healthy and constructive ways to have fun, talk to chicks and enjoy yourself without alcohol.

Who makes you the judge and executioner?

With an attitude like you have, I'm not surprised your different.

Life is about diversity - if we were all like you, then it would be a boring sad existance.

You say that people who drink don't have the balls to enjoy themselves with alcohol - I say your being judgemental - and before you judge people and tarnish everyone with the same brush you should consider yourself.

There are lots of different and siverse people - some may like rap, some like to drink, some like to get wasted and others my prefer not to drink.

I have lots of friends - some drink, some do not. Thats their choice and I respect everyone's choice - it's a free world.

If you don't like it, stop whinning about it and crying about not meeting people like you. It's a reason - your judgmental and controlling. In fact you sound like a control freak.

I practice martial arts, and Tai chi. I don't abuse my body, but I enjoy hanging with my friends in a bar - or at a club. I also enjoy going for coffee or hiking and other activities.

The attitude you project ******ds it the attitude that people will percieve you with.

I don't mean to be harsh at all. But you should really re-read your post - perhaps the problem is with YOU not everyone else.

Accept people for who they are - and respect that. You don;t have to do what they do, but stop being so judgemental - thats sure to turn women off very quickly. Narrow mindedness is not attractive.

 

[Player_Supreme]

Originally posted by Jin
ok... I have a g/f , about a 6-7 in looks but a solid 10 in personality and character... but.. I feel like we have nothing really in common. I fell like its more myself than anything because...

1. I don't drink alcohol.. very rarely and I think beer is the most putrid substance on earth and wonder why anyone would drink this crap

2. relating to alcohol.. I never.. ever get drunk... I don't see the point... why drink piss so you can act like and ass and do stupid ****.. I can have just as much fun without drinking and geting wasted and I can remember what I did last night.

3. I like martial arts and boxing... so this makes people think I'm a weirdo (??)


I feel like I'm so different from everyone here cause all they like to do is hang out at the bar, drink beer, get wasted and act retarded... remember when you were in high school and some one would come in and say "Dude! I got so wasted last night!" and everyone would laugh like its funny and everyone thought he was "cool" becuase he got "wasted"

Well,... I thought that guy was a retard who doesn't know how to have fun without alcohol... and I thouht he was a piece of disgusting sh!t.

I like to DO things... lets play vollyball, or rollerhocky, lets do an activity instead of dancing to crappy rap...
oh yeah one other thing that sets me apart from evertyone else... I hate... i mean really hate... rap... I like heavy metal... Ill Nino, Korn, Adema, ect... ect... but I also like other music as well... flamenco, classical, some techno.... and even a little symphonic gothic music....

and to top it all off.. my g/f like to do all the above things mentioned... likes beer, likes rap... and likes just talking in a boring bar...

is there something wrong with me...? why can't I find ANYONE like me....??

someone please tell me what I can do to relate to her... and in all fairness, when I do talk to her shes a smart girl, has a beautiful smile and likes to have fun... just not my kind of fun...

and ideas or tips are greatly appreciated....

Best,

Jin

1. Sorry your no different than most people on here. Even your interest in martial arts and boxing is not different. I've been an avid studyer since I was a kid in Tokyo japan.

2. Your choice of music if it works for you then so be it. I am just the opposite. I absolutely and I mean absolutely hate heavy metal...there is no beat...you can't f*uck to it or dance to it.

3. Most guys on here don't hang out in bars. I vist on the weekends when I hunt and I do 2 drinks when I drink. I went for 40 years without drinking anything but juice and water.

4. As far as the girl...maybe the heavy metal has you too dull. You need to connect with her. Don't be mad if she likes softer music on the ears....learn to cultivate an interest in the real girl you are dating.

5. Your one of those relationship people. Cool. Now be in the relationship. It takes two to tangle and only one to lead. You need to develop a REAL interest in her as a person. Relationships are sometimes about compromise. Think of it this way...in sparring you learn to feel your opponent out for his weakness...in doing so you must enter their space and them so that you can control their movements. Well you must enter her to learn how to be with her.

I am not an qualified expert on relationships sorry, my specialty is "if a girl is looking at you go get her and here's how"

I hope my meager advise will point you to the correct path though. Good luck.

your ok even though your mind is closed to certain types of music. I like rap, rock, alternative, soul, urban, world beat, reggea, classical, latin, dance, techno, house, even a little country...I try to keep my mind open so that I can stay on top of life instead of buried by it.

peace