Feeling kind of lonely lately

[Alex DeLarge]

it's bothering me a ton right now. I currently can't sleep. I have a pretty busy life which is cool, but it's been a while since I've actually been out with a girl. Haven't been on a date since mid september (which was pretty lame might I add). Ever since then, I've talked to a lot of girls at school, landed a few number closes too.. But nothing past that. When I suggest hanging out with the chicks, I usually get blown off. This doesn't really make sense since my close female friends tell me I'm an attractive guy, and I'm talking to girls within my demographic (girls in their early to mid 20s who are into alternative music).

I play in a few bands, attend university, and just have a great life all together which I love.. But it's been a while since I've been in the company of a girl who I'm attracted to and has attraction for me as well.

Now I wouldn't go so far to say that I'm desperate for an LTR, just kind of lonely and longing of female companionship. You know what I mean? It's not the whole relationship sh1t I'm craving.. I just want to be able to make love to a girl and embrace that biological drive embedded in the both of us to do so. I'm still a virgin too which sucks, but I'm actively working toward changing this. I'm always approaching girls when I'm out and I recently started lifting to build some muscle.

It's just a bummer when you live with two roomates who have great girlfriends, and you're stuck with no one.. Even though you're actively trying to meet new people every day of your life.

 

[DonJuan_DeRosco]

The time of year doesn't help either, its a popular time for people to be coupled up.

It's times like this that we have to be most vigilant from sliding into AFC-ness. Just something to point out, I see that you are a virgin still. 'Making love' is an afc way to think about it, after you have done it, you'll realise its nothing but rutting like an animal! Still gives you all those warm fuzzy feelings etc but don't read into it as being the 'be all end all' which is how I'm kinda reading your post.

You seem to be taking the right steps in bettering yourself which is good and Alex, you are in a band, trust me in saying you should have no trouble picking up girls with that alone!

Pace yourself, get a few girls under you (literally) then you'll be able to begin to see what you are looking for.

Finally, don't 'hang out' with girls, do action things. Take them to places you play, get the high energy vibe going. Failing that, do something different with them, bungie jumping, rock climbing etc, something different but action and try and cram more than one thing to do in one 'date'.

P.S. Don't listen to your female friends for advice, I'm sure you are an attractive guy, but in general, women give an idealised version of what they think they want.

You'll get through this spell, just hang tight.

 

[handle]

Good idea with the lifting. Does it tire you out and help you sleep better? If it isn't helping maybe throw in some cardio too. It's pretty incredible what staying active can do for your sleep, and as a result your mood. Makes it that much easier to get positive.

Try to hang out with your friends when they're with people you don't know. Get that social circle expanded a little more. It's really a lot easier IMO to meet girls as friends of friends, or friends of friends of friends. Doesn't have to be all about the cold approach.

 

[badboyjmm]

I feel the same way, since I haven't got anything going in terms of plates. Relax, exercise and keep busy. Handle is right about hanging out with friends, it will help (as long as they are socially gifted and will introduce you to new people)

 

[Diaforetikos]

Though this may be my opinion, I still have to wonder why you're lonely. Your a man. Your sex drive shouldn't HAVE to be satisfied or felt like they should be. I just ignore them and move on with life. Not saying we can't be with women, but you should also not feel alone to the point where you post about it.

I don't get lonely. No, I'm not better than anyone. I just have never felt the need for women to fill a void that doesn't need to be filled. Women are an add on in every way of life be it sex, marriage, or dating. Don't value them higher than that, and it'll keep you from being lonely.

Once again, this is my opinion.

 

[perseverance]

Every singleton in the world gets a little lonely sometimes, it's usually around Christmas and Valentine's Day etc, but it will pass. It is natural for men and women to want the companionship of the opposite sex, loneliness is just a symptom of this desire. You'll get over this phase and I guarantee that if you were locked into a relationship you'd want to be single when New Years and the Summer come along, it's a double-edged sword, my friend.

 

[GameTime76]

There are couple post in the DJ Bible written by Pook in the Uplifting Material section that may give you some inspiration or better outloook. Look up;

Kill That Desperation!
Feeling down about your love life? Read this!

 

[sinnerman]

it's bothering me a ton right now. I currently can't sleep. I have a pretty busy life which is cool, but it's been a while since I've actually been out with a girl. Haven't been on a date since mid september (which was pretty lame might I add). Ever since then, I've talked to a lot of girls at school, landed a few number closes too.. But nothing past that. When I suggest hanging out with the chicks, I usually get blown off. This doesn't really make sense since my close female friends tell me I'm an attractive guy, and I'm talking to girls within my demographic (girls in their early to mid 20s who are into alternative music).

I play in a few bands, attend university, and just have a great life all together which I love.. But it's been a while since I've been in the company of a girl who I'm attracted to and has attraction for me as well.

Now I wouldn't go so far to say that I'm desperate for an LTR, just kind of lonely and longing of female companionship. You know what I mean? It's not the whole relationship sh1t I'm craving.. I just want to be able to make love to a girl and embrace that biological drive embedded in the both of us to do so. I'm still a virgin too which sucks, but I'm actively working toward changing this. I'm always approaching girls when I'm out and I recently started lifting to build some muscle.

It's just a bummer when you live with two roomates who have great girlfriends, and you're stuck with no one.. Even though you're actively trying to meet new people every day of your life.

I can relate with you mate.

I'm 22 as well, studying, working part time and ****. And its been a while since Ive been involved with anyone. Ive a few plates but they don't excite me much.

All I can say is occupy your mind somewhere else. Be genuinely interested in something where you can occupy your mind.

 

[C-quenced]

it's bothering me a ton right now. I currently can't sleep. I have a pretty busy life which is cool, but it's been a while since I've actually been out with a girl. Haven't been on a date since mid september (which was pretty lame might I add). Ever since then, I've talked to a lot of girls at school, landed a few number closes too.. But nothing past that. When I suggest hanging out with the chicks, I usually get blown off. This doesn't really make sense since my close female friends tell me I'm an attractive guy, and I'm talking to girls within my demographic (girls in their early to mid 20s who are into alternative music).

I play in a few bands, attend university, and just have a great life all together which I love.. But it's been a while since I've been in the company of a girl who I'm attracted to and has attraction for me as well.

Now I wouldn't go so far to say that I'm desperate for an LTR, just kind of lonely and longing of female companionship. You know what I mean? It's not the whole relationship sh1t I'm craving.. I just want to be able to make love to a girl and embrace that biological drive embedded in the both of us to do so. I'm still a virgin too which sucks, but I'm actively working toward changing this. I'm always approaching girls when I'm out and I recently started lifting to build some muscle.

It's just a bummer when you live with two roomates who have great girlfriends, and you're stuck with no one.. Even though you're actively trying to meet new people every day of your life.

You're at the phase of your life in which you have this idealized form of romance. In time and with more experience (heartbreaks) you'll inevitably abandon such false beliefs and learn to live life in pursuit of your own pleasure and happiness, all while conveniently abandoning and replacing women who you don't deem fitting in your life. Don't equate your self worth according to the women who you allow in your personal space and don't build your life around any one "special" female either. You have an entire world full of women so loneliness in this sense is an impossibility. It's your life to live Alex, so (realistically speaking) make out of it what you desire.

Another thing.... your decision to abstain from sex isn't an issue with me, however keep in mind that the longer you wait the more difficult it becomes. When you finally experience it, you may (like myself) deeply regret waiting. Regardless of which route you decide to take at the very least throw the girly labels such as "virginity" out the window (I already hear the sounds of offended mangina's screeching, clawing and gnawing in the distance) as it's not going to do you any good. Best of luck.