Favorite Girl Officially Diagnosed with BPD

[bigneil]

For years now I have insisted that BPD is over-diagnosed by members and that the symptoms are really a sign of low interest.

Well, last night when I joked that my girlfriend (now in our 6th month of dating) was a narcissist she said "It's interesting you would use that word, I have a similar condition called Borderline Personality Disorder". I said "No you don't" and she said she was officially diagnosed twice. I said "Listen, if you ever decide you don't like me anymore, I won't be so arrogant as to insist you must have a personality disorder" and she laughed. I reminded her that I once told her she was smart for not trusting me and she told me that made her trust me.

My point of this thread is, this girl has been incredible for the 14 months I've known her. She has never "painted me black" or "gone cold" for too long. Thus, even if a girl officially has BPD, it doesn't mean she won't love you or be the best girl you ever dated.

"Blame it all on yourself 'cause she's always a woman to me" - Billy Joel

 

[sazc]

Well, that explains why you tend to post threads on here seeking answers and sometimes can generally feel uneasy about your relationship. Are you certain that you are interested in a relationship that is going to make you feel uneasy and possibly insecure?

 

[ChangePages]

Hahaha who are you kidding? It's only a matter of time before she "change pages" she might not do it now or in a month or maybe, just maybe in a year or two from now. But when she does, she will be at a point where she knows you're hooked. And once she knows that, it's bye bye.

 

[QuadDeuces]

Don't knock her up, don't marry her.

 

[The Duke]

How invested is she in this relationship? How often do you see each other?

 

[bigneil]

Are you certain that you are interested in a relationship that is going to make you feel uneasy and possibly insecure?

Wait, are you talking about the fact that love makes a person insecure? You're asking if I'm certain I want love?

I'm certain I like having the best sex I ever had with the hottest and youngest girl I ever dated, who now tells me she loves me every time I see her and is initiating every day, and who I will see tomorrow for the fifth time this week. Then again, I don't know where she has been those other two days...

But quick! Someone remind me that she's not a virgin.

 

[bigneil]

How invested is she in this relationship? How often do you see each other?

It's interesting to note how this went (especially for those who want to manage BPD girls).

Summary (many of you will remember these details)

0) January 2016 - Met her when she was a waitress at a 5 star hotel, and we liked each other, but didn't get phone number.
1) September - Saw her on stage and thought it was love at first sight (she was still 20), had a date and kissed, then realized we had previously met.
2) October - Passionate sex all month - she said I gave her her first orgasm. We had an ultra romantic story line. She modeled and I photographed several photo shoots. Some of her photos rated 99% in an online rating service.
3) November - She went MIA for 2 weeks, and turned 21, and I had a ONS with a different girl. Then I found she got a boob job, then we had an amazing 2 day vacation and spent Thanksgiving together. I never had a before and after boob job before. I told her about my ONS.
4) December - She went on a vacation and she cancelled our next date a week later. I hired a physical trainer. Weeks later I brought another stripper to her club and she came back to me. I asked her if she had scored on her vacation and she confessed. but we had the best sex ever after.
5) January 2017 - One day I randomly threatened to end it and she called my bluff, and I apologized, only to find out she was in Las Vegas and got hired, and might have moved there. I found out she was also an amazing singer. Then she got the flu and came back home and missed me a lot. She gained a little weight and is probably past her uber-prime days.
6) February - She started saying "I love you". She said it nearly broke her heart when I ended it. I promised I will never abandon her. She told me having sex with the other guy made her regret it and appreciate me more. This is as close to being totally in love as I've been, but I feel grounded and prepared to have it end on a moment's notice. When we are together, she is holding my hand at all times, in all venues. The sex is now totally passionate love making. I've seen her more times this month than every other month combined. I last saw her this morning. When we sleep together lately she has her arm around me and it is something I have been missing in a lot of relationships. Took her back to the meeting spot last night.

She and I both agree that if we were going to break up, it would have already happened in November, when the turned 21, got a boob job, got a Vegas job, and we both had affairs.

She wants this year to keep being young and free and sees us as being together long term. Yesterday I realized she started her own business on the side in the music industry.

I don't see her behavior as being a personality disorder, but maybe she will paint me black someday.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Isn't it because you guys in pretty much in an open relationship?

Wait, are you talking about the fact that love makes a person insecure?

Wait, so love makes people insecure?

 

[Bible_Belt]

Regarding "professional" diagnosis, my ex-wife has a Master's in counseling and worked as a mental health counselor. The only reason she knew anything about BPD was that she grew up with a sister who had it. She didn't learn anything about it in getting her degree, and her colleagues were just as clueless. People who have lived with BPD know a lot more about it from experience than any "professional" who has not lived with it.

 

[The Duke]

You aren't going to see the borderline issues rear their head until the new car smell wears off this relationship. You are really just a month into it, every thing before has just been casual. Give it time.

I had a girl with slight borderline issues but was never diagnosed that showed perfect behavior for 6months. We saw each other twice/week from the 2month mark on.

 

[9Volt]

Isn't it because you guys in pretty much in an open relationship?

Wait, so love makes people insecure?

Delusioneil shouldn't worry if she's BPD as he's just as off his rocker if not more than these chicks he falls head over heels for.

 

[QuadDeuces]

You're still in the honeymoon, I thought I was keeping "my" BPD on a tight leash too, felt alpha as f*ck when I ignored her calls and was indifferent when she was trying to make me jealous sending selfies with other guys, as I was dating other girls.
But eventually she subconsciously learned about all my weaknesses, and exploited them like a pro, she pulled the rug from underneath me and had me checkmate when I descended in beta afc modus.
Be careful and be able to go as soon as the first disrespect starts because it will get worse and never better.

 

[fastlife]

Not worth it Neil. Most therapists won't even diagnose BPD, since the disorders largely untreatable & the label's too damning. She's a hard case--and there's more backstory to that diagnosis then you'll ever have access to.

High interest; low interest; no interest--if you let them in close enough, you will feel the after effects for months to come. It's not even the cheating (if it happens), the abandonment (it will happen), the feeling of loss (every breakup), the possible social repercussions (luckily mine just told all our mutual friends & family I was gay lol)--it is the gas-lighting, when you're made to doubt the validity of your own perception. Double down on your journaling, bud, because the moment you let go of your perception enough to even consider hers--even just to be empathetic to hers--you're fvcked. I've been a year & a half no contact with mine--and I'm doing great--but even now I still have to try to unravel some mental threads from time to time. I had massive relationship-PTSD for about a year afterwards; sometimes I'd wake up next to a girl & just have to run, even if I really liked her.

AFC, beta, whatever--when I broke up with mine (and I knew about BPD about 1/2 way thru our two year relationship), I seriously just wanted to die. I remember standing in the office of my own goddamn house, where I set down a mattress & locked myself in for the last month she lived with me (since I knew that she would and could use anything against me at her whimsy) and realizing that I could either 1.) Shoot myself or 2.) Rebuild myself from scratch. And it was from scratch--every little bit of emotional pain you've ever suppressed ever, every illusion you have about yourself, she will find those things & throw it in your face & wrestling thru those demons was the most painful thing I've ever done in my life. Worth it, for me, but I damn sure wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Most therapists won't even diagnose BPD, since the disorders largely untreatable & the label's too damning.

BPDs do have a reputation for being the worst clients. The condition can't be medicated, and one of the many fun symptoms are that they react with vicious hatred to anyone who tells them they have a disorder. The only women I have seen who were able to get a grip on their disorder were in their 40's by the time it happened, and usually they just give up on men and relationships.

Substance abuse is pretty much a given, as well. It's an attempt to self-medicate. My bpd girl was a xanax addict.

 

[Billtx49]

Substance abuse is pretty much a given, as well. It's an attempt to self-medicate. My bpd girl was a xanax addict.

Yup, my Ex preferred Lexapro, before that it was Effexor. The first big flag there…
They go to a sh***y Dr. for the script and claim to be depressed or have anxiety issues.

 

[AttackFormation]

This has to be one of the most ironic things that I've ever seen on this forum.

Have you considered that "the girl you love the most in your entire life" happens to be bpd?

I also didn't have the same horror story that I've seen other guys talk about on here. But that's because I didn't let her into my life enough to cause such havoc. I still found it not to be worth the aggro - not by a long shot.

Nothing you'll see on this forum is sweeter than seeing "it" happen, because the truth is self-demonstrating. KingofPuss and Howiestern off the top of my head went through it here too. You'll see them start to talk back against some common red pill ideas and then it's revealed, they've found The One. It's really it this time. During the good period, they start talking almost as if what we're saying here is a lie and the blue pill really was true. Then boom... she tears his heart or life to pieces, or both if he's unlucky, and they come back to make a thread here on the event.

 

[guru1000]

Stripper, BPD, bangs other guys and shamelessly glorifies it. Where do I sign up?

 

[Billtx49]

The BPD is scenario is usually the same with most men in the beginning.
It's not until she does a complete 180 at some future time that they truly realize what just ran over them.

 

[sazc]

Just think Neil should probably reflect on why the first time that he bumps into one of these types, that she becomes "the most amazing woman that he ever went out with". That obviously calls for some perspective.

Wow, I hadn't thought about it like that. I'm legit scared about this. Yikes. Neil, are you understanding this point?

 

[Billtx49]

Wow, I hadn't thought about it like that. I'm legit scared about this. Yikes. Neil, are you understanding this point?

Yes, the mirroring is over the top with these women. Gas lighting is equally as high also. Mine actually introduced the terms soul mate, We were meant to be together, etc., early on along with the rest of her act.
They are master seducers in the early stages.