Father's advice.

[Lateralus]

I'm happy that I can say I have a cool dad. He is a businessman. One with a real passion about what he is doing, one who really thinks about things before he does or say something.

When it comes to personality, I would describe him as a DJ who has always been a real jerk at times, but since he is in the beginning of his 50s, he kind of repents of some of his sins right now. He has had three long relationships (one marriage with my mom) in his life and several crushes and girlfriends and three kids. He learned it the hard way with women (believe me...), but never had problems getting them. Furthermore: the periods when he is single (like now) he always has some 3/4 games going on. And some of them are really young beautiful women!

My father is quite charismatic, dominant and very straight to the point with women, yet he is an introvert. I think his dominance left life lasting impression with his exes because of that, but that's another story!

Being the tutoring father he his, he provides his sons with information on how to get women lately. My brother doesn't really care, he's in a fairy tale relationship/slavery with his GF . But hell, I DO care of course! It is very interesting, and almost everything he says sounds like it comes directly from the DJ Bible.

So let's get to the point. He told me something that kind of contradicts most advice here on sosuave. He said:

"Son, I always have been very direct to women. It's what I always do. When I have a conversation with a women, and I like her, I say I like her."

"If she asks why I approached her or started a conversation with her, I say that it's because I find her attractive."

"And when I feel it's time, I tell her I want to do something together and get her phone number."

"I never make things more complicated than they need to, and yes being direct involves a risk. But who cares... it saves me a lot of my precious time."

"And when I am, what you young people call 'rejected', a rediculous term because if you see it as a rejection you are only rejecting yourself, then I just say to myself 'what a *****' and I go on."

"I have no difficulty at all to say to a woman that I like her. It is the way it is, and it is the reason I want to hang out with her."

I like his advice. I am a direct person too, but because of my fear and over-analysing I make things very complicated sometimes. He's quite fearless, and has a ''just do it'' mentality. But from a sosuave point of view, he might be considered as too direct I think. Maybe it is a culture difference between USA and Western Europe? Not sure about that. But what I can remember is that my succesful pickups in life were mostly the ones straight to the point. My biggest failures too, actually .

I am very curious... what do you guys think about this?

 

[grayclif]

It is very interesting, and almost everything he says sounds like it comes directly from the DJ Bible.

So let's get to the point. He told me something that kind of contradicts most advice here on sosuave. He said:

These two points jump out.

I think your father is dead on. He has "his" way of dealing with woman and it works for him. Additionally, I don't think he said anything you didn't already know - even before reading the DJ Bible. For some reason along the way we just seem to forget (or we've been conditioned to think otherwise).

"And when I am, what you young people call 'rejected', a rediculous term because if you see it as a rejection you are only rejecting yourself, then I just say to myself 'what a *****' and I go on."

I like what your dad said here ^^^

 

[Lateralus]

These two points jump out.

I think your father is dead on. He has "his" way of dealing with woman and it works for him. Additionally, I don't think he said anything you didn't already know - even before reading the DJ Bible. For some reason along the way we just seem to forget (or we've been conditioned to think otherwise).

That's right. It's almost the way we used to do at in the elementary school. It works for him indeed. And he looks at it from his own perspective: it works because it saves him time and effort which he needs for the things that really matter: his business and his kids. I think women love to be part of that inner circle and therefore see him as a prize.

I like what your dad said here ^^^

Me too. I can see a difference in time and generation here. He came from a poor time, a big family and with the abscence of playstation, TV with 300+ channels, computers, his youth was mainly on the streets. Looking at his friends: they are all the same. I can simply say his mentality a rock solid compared with mine.
So he doesn't understand the whole concept of rejection. He has formed himself throughout the years and the fact that some women don't like him/fall for him, has no influence on his self-esteem. It's just the simple reality that not every woman falls for you.

 

[Mr.Positive]

I think your father's advise is excellent. It's a no BS approach to women, is confident, and takes the lead.

If more men thought and dealt with women like this, there would be a lot less game playing.

Guys may think this approach gives women the power, but it really weeds out the low quality women. Golden advise about rejection, women don't reject you, they just remove themselves from your dating pool. They remove your attention, thus actually reject themselves.

If you have to put on a juggling act or 'game' to impress a gal, you don't want her to begin with, imo.

You've got a cool dad!

 

[Mr.Positive]

double post.

 

[Colossus]

There is nothing wrong with direct communication, but it's important to remember women usually dont communicate this way, they are more indirect. Sometimes you need to speak their language, by framing something to them in a way they might frame it to themselves.

The problem (to men) of covert communication is that it leaves room for interpretation, and thus helps ensure she is 'right' in a given context, because she can simply say that's not what she meant. Or, she could chastise you for not knowing what she meant, and if you are not aware of this game you lose either way.

 

[Lateralus]

Thanks guys!

If you have to put on a juggling act or 'game' to impress a gal, you don't want her to begin with, imo.

There is nothing wrong with direct communication, but it's important to remember women usually dont communicate this way, they are more indirect. Sometimes you need to speak their language, by framing something to them in a way they might frame it to themselves.

Don't you think that when a girl isn't interested in you, it doesn't matter if you are direct or have a ''game'', it doesn't make any difference? I think that's the whole concept. Showing confidence, show what you want and if she is a girl that *needs* this whole game thing, we don't want her.

Yesterday evening I had a very interesting discussion about this with my brother and father. My brother was really against my father's advice. He was convinced that you need some kind of gaming playing to get closer te her. Like, seeing each other at least 2/3 times, sending messages, doing your 'thing' to impress her, tease her and when the time is right: attack.

My father just said: "Listen up. I am a man from the field, so I know what I'm talking about." And he explained the whole concept of being direct again. Surprising was that my brother's GF was totally agreeing with my father.

 

[grayclif]

Surprising was that my brother's GF was totally agreeing with my father.

Of course she would agree. He's a confident man, he know's what he is talking about and she knows he has his stuff together.

Often it's not what you say but how you say it. Roissy touches on this a lot. Inner game stuff - confidence. Just like you can find the prettiest girl in a room full of em at a glance. So can woman just as easily sense confidence.

 

[Colossus]

Yeah Lateralus what was getting at is that it's just good to be aware of their methods. Men should be direct. It's natural and it works.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Lateralus,
He comes straight out with his feelings,he flatters and he gives them a fair idea of what he wants from them....He intrudes directly into their personal space,and gets an instant,if subliminal reaction...That's exactly what I do,I don't have time for the niceties of the mating ritual,I depend on Emotional Momentum and Animal urges.