Fastest way to get laid

[Flabbergasped?]

Haven't lost my v-card (seriously, like wtf). I'm tired of feeling inadequate.

Fvck MM, fvck david d, fvck all of that. It doesn't make sense to me that something as simple and commonplace as sex should take that much work.

I'm social, I work out, I have passions, blah blah blah. I don't really care about DHV, negs, all that crap. What I need to do is bust a nvt in a b!tch's face.

I'm not about to pay for it. I figure the fastest way is some drunken fool's mate lay at a college party or something like that. How do I do this?

I don't want an LTR, I don't want a lecture about the easy way out, w/e. I'm already working to be a DJ, but along the road, I want to jizz on someone's back.

This is getting ridiculous, because I have signiicantly lamer friends that, though they've hooked up w/ fewer girls, they've gotten more ass (i.e. any).

I'm tired of feeling like there's something wrong w/ me because I haven't banged anyone. If it wasn't for that one factor, I'd have the hugest ego, since I think I'm hot sh!t pretty much all the time. The one exception is when I come home on a Saturday night by myself and punch a couple of walls because the whole world's fvcked.

Someone give me a step-by-step on how to fool's mate at a party so I can bust my nut and go on w/ life. At least, if I get some, I'll stop talking to girls and focus on my midterms.

 

[everywomanshero]

Well, you just fvck the girl. I don't know if there is any step by step guide. You meet the girl and you fvck her, almost always on the first or second meeting... if it hasn't happened by the fourth meeting, something has gone terribly wrong.

Spending time reading things like DD, MM, etc will only give you worse results because you'll be sitting around reading and making up fantasies about what might have went wrong or right instead of being out doing something possibly constructive. In almost every case I hear of where guys are not getting laid, they are also not really trying. They "talk" to girls but never try to hold hands or kiss them. Talking to girls is good, but at some point the man is going to have to make some kind of move or 90% of the time nothing is going to happen. You're probably not famous, exceptionally good looking (if you haven't got women chasing you down, then you're not, sorry), or otherwise have some attribute that women are going to go gaga over. This isn't a bad thing, it simply means you're like 99.5% of the male population. SO you will have to come down from feeling special and do what the rest of us do, lay the law down on these chicas and bang them like there's no tommorrow. SO when you go to the bars & clubs next forget about getting another phone number that you have to call and try to set something up and all that BS, try to get laid that night. If she doesn't at least make out with you, then don't bother with the phone # because it will just be too much trouble and easier to just fvck someone else instead. Also scour the net for easy poon too, everytime I do this I seem to find 2 or 3 married chicks and if you like to single moms they are even easier to find en masse (they annoy me personally, but I used to bang a lot of them). Try to get into swinger clubs (difficult if you're a single man, but maybe you can just invite some chick). I would stay away from escorts, you are right, it's too available to pay for and I don't think sex with an escort is very good. I tried it a couple of times in other places and usually wasn't very good quality, kind of boring to be honest.

 

[DJDamage]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1XOfHax6Q8

 

[In Motion]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1XOfHax6Q8

If that doesn't work, you don't want anything to do with her.

 

[DonGorgon]

Sex is very very valuable so it aint that simple especially if she is between 18 and 25...

Just be cool and flirt and make moves...

 

[MooseGod]

Find a cougar.

 

[DonGorgon]

^^true..

 

[Luke Skywalker]

I've seen other people on this site or others that got laid (i.e. swingers, adultfriendfinder, prostitutes, etc...), but what good is that if you don't have a steady and reliable source of sex?
After 48 hours you are back to square one and have to go for STD testing to make sure you are clean.

I feel similar issues where they crop up, such as, you do not fully feel like an adult but a boy trapped inside an adult body until you go through that rite of passage. Or, you wonder, will I get an erection witha real woman, and will that erection stay long enough to please a girl - or am I so last in my mental fantasy world that I can only jack off and cant have real sex? Or, when a girl chooses another guy over you, or doesn't reciprocate interest back, then you kick yourself and say, darn, it's because I'm a virgin, that's why this hb10 didn't go for me.

However, boy inside a man's body or not, I'm not eager to catch an STD to prove any point. I'd rather be a healthy boy than an HIV positive man if that's the case.

 

[paraguayandj]

Ok here is a mini guide of how to get laid in a college party. Lucky for you I have some experience in this field and I can help you.
Ok, first thing is first. You have to be at least a little popular in the party. You don't want to be the guy in the corner not talking to anyone.
If you don't know a lot of people, just introduce yourself. Make conversation with a lot of people and just have fun. If you look like you have an agenda, girls will think that you are creepy and won't talk to you.
Playing beer pong is a great way to get yourself notice. If you are good, its a plus. Try to play with a girl, if they suck just make a little fun of them, just don't over do it.
Again, you have to have fun at the party. Don't be too aggressive trying to get laid.
After drinking for about an hour or two, find a girl that is by herself. I will recommend a wingman thou, finding a girl by herself is not as easy as it sounds.
Anyways, talk to the girl. Start by talking about school, then get a little more personal. You have to be able to assess the situation thou. Don't make a move unless you know she is interested. Look at some of the articles in this site, they should help you find those clues.
Make sure you know the host of the party. It is really important that you meet him or her and that you find a room to have sex.
After hooking up with the girl, tell her that you want to play beer pong or do something with her. The important thing is to get her walking. Walk her to the room where you are planning to have sex. At that point, she will either freak because she knows whats gonna happen, or she will just get it on with you.
Timing is everything here as well as the level of her sobriety. Drunk girls are the easiest. I don't do it anymore because its a desperate move and it's just like fishing with dynamite.
Anyhow, always remember to bring a condom. I wouldn't recommend doing this often because the risk of contracting STDs is extremely high.
One more thing, make sure its not a sausage party. There has to be a good ratio between male/female. The reason I say this (as I was told by many girls) is that they don't feel so safe. Unfortunately when girls don't feel too safe, they don't hook up.
Ok, so just try it and let me know how it went.

Ps. I agree with mr. elor, you have to kill that desperation man. Once you do it you'll see its really not that big of a deal. I guess the saying that sex is like air is true. They are only important when you are not getting any.

 

[DonJuan11]

Look mate, sex is very overrated, and I know a lot of people (myself included) don't enjoy their first time. Sex is fun and all but I place no more importance on it than say, playing my xbox or going down the pub.

Drop the desperate attitude, and I mean genuinely drop it - realise you can live without sex - and a lot will fall into place for you.

Dude are you serious? You would rather play x-box with 3 guys on a Friday night than have sex with a hot girl?

 

[Ripper]

Dude are you serious? You would rather play x-box with 3 guys on a Friday night than have sex with a hot girl?

You just validated his point.

 

[HandyAndy]

What I need to do is bust a nvt in a b!tch's face.

:crackup: :crackup:

 

[Joe The Homophobe]

What I need to do is bust a nvt in a b!tch's face.

who doesn't? it is one of the manliest and greatest things a man can do.

 

[Maxtro]

Look mate, sex is very overrated, and I know a lot of people (myself included) don't enjoy their first time. Sex is fun and all but I place no more importance on it than say, playing my xbox or going down the pub.

Saying that sex is overrated, is pretty ridiculous. It's the same thing as telling a 14 year old that driving is overrated. Just because you don't value it as much anymore doesn't mean that other people shouldn't value it. Also if something is overrated do you think you will have no problem giving it up?

TBH I've slowed down the sarging part of my life to focus on uni work, and I'd happily go the year and a half left of my course without any sex to get a 1st.

Are you sure about that. Would you, could you really give up sex for a year? I haven't had sex in over a year and it drives me insane. And no going out and getting a hooker doesn't count, it's not "real."

Drop the desperate attitude, and I mean genuinely drop it - realise you can live without sex - and a lot will fall into place for you.

The only reason a lot of guys bang on about sex is because they place their validation on it, it's nothing more than a tool for the ego.

You can live without sex but it's not recommended and it's not even natural. It's going against our natural sex drive. Both men and women crave sex. It's just a part of being human.

As for dropping desperation for sex, the only real way to stop being desperate is to start getting what you are desperate for. Trying to loose your desperation out of sheer will power is almost impossible.

Thanks for the mini-guide paraguayandj. Hopefully I'll be able to use it in the near future.

Ps. I agree with mr. elor, you have to kill that desperation man. Once you do it you'll see its really not that big of a deal. I guess the saying that sex is like air is true. They are only important when you are not getting any.

Yup that's how I think.

Dude are you serious? You would rather play x-box with 3 guys on a Friday night than have sex with a hot girl?

I agree with DonJuan11 here. Anybody can play X-Box with their friends, DJ's and AFC's alike. But only certain guys get to have sex. But we can also go back to the air argument. If the guy basically gets laid whenever he wants then it's no big deal to give up sex for the night and hang with his buddies.

 

[BustedKnucks]

Alcohol

 

[My Name is Nobody]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1XOfHax6Q8

LOL! that was hilarious.

 

[MooseGod]

I was serious about the cougar thing mang, they put out like it's going out of style.

 

[nightcrawler]

I've been looking for a cougar for a long time..I look VERY young.

Where do I get them!?!?!?

 

[BustedKnucks]

If you want a cougar, go to a bar your mom might hang out in, and hit on someone at last call.

 

[nightcrawler]

If you want a cougar, go to a bar your mom might hang out in, and hit on someone at last call.

I'm 20 and still get ID'd to buy lotto