Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Fast or Slow, Two Schools of Thought

HedoRick

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 18, 2013
Messages
233
Reaction score
9
Location
Hedonism II
So I've seen conflicting opinions on here. Some guys think first date should be hands off.

I come from the school of thought that you should push every interaction as far as it can go on that night. Less work for next time if you don't go all the way. Well, unless if you go for crazy Christian chicks that blue ball you, but that's something I don't wanna talk about anymore.

So what say you, first date, hands off, no makeout attempt, or push as far as you can?

I am curious to hear about your thoughts and experience with this. I feel like a woman is more likely to punish a man that moves too slow than one that goes after what he wants. I think this is a great article on the subject but would still love to hear other DJ's experiences with this.

Secrets to Getting Girls: Move Faster


by Chase Amante
Saturday, 7 November 2009

~~~~~~~~~~~

Ever have an interaction going really well, with a girl really into you, but then it starts fading, dying away, and eventually she excuses herself and leaves?

You need to move faster.

Ever have a girl chasing you hard, calling you and texting you often, but then after a while the attention dies down, her attraction for you seems to wan, and she even stops responding to your calls and texts?

You need to move faster.

Ever have a girl at your place, into you, maybe even saying sexual stuff or doing sexy things, and you want to make sure the timing’s right so you wait for the right moment, and wait, and when you finally go for it she pushes you away, acts uncomfortable, and eventually leaves?

You need to move FASTER!

Why do girls act into guys, then leave them hanging? Why was she leading you on? Why did she act attracted, put sex on the table, then take it away? It’s because with every woman, there is only a limited window of opportunity to take things and run with them. When she’s still feeling you out, she’ll be tentative and experimental, putting her feelers out there. The men who take action and make things happen are the ones who find success with women.

Look at these famous, well-known sayings:

Fortune favors the bold.

He who hesitates is lost.

Strike while the iron is hot.

I’m sure you can think of a couple more. Think about them as they apply to meeting girls. Who do you think gets more girls -- the guy who hems and haws when a girl shows him attraction? Or the guy who recognizes it when he sees it, and immediately starts moving things forward with his girl?

There is no place in seduction for a man to be tentative or slow.

At best, the slow, tentative man gets slotted firmly into boyfriend / husband territory. That means the girl in question will hold out longer, resist more, and demand more work and investment from him before she even thinks about putting out. She realizes he’s not a play-hard-or-go-home kind of guy, but if she still likes him anyway, she might just give him a shot at providing for her.

At worst, the slow, tentative man gets nothing. His girl loses interest and moves on, in search of a man who goes for what he wants.

We hear this often enough: women want STRONG men. Men who LEAD. Who TAKE ACTION and MAKE THINGS HAPPEN. But what we don’t hear so much is that you only have so long to SHOW her you’re that strong man who leads. You only have as long as her window is open.

SO, what can you do? How do you get yourself moving faster?

Here are a few ways to light that fire in your belly, and get yourself moving faster than ever:

• Any time you feel like it’s dragging on and not moving forward, realize that she’s probably feeling the EXACT SAME WAY, and do something about it. Move your interaction to the next level!

• Any time you want to take action, but feel that twang of doubt suggesting that maybe she’s not ready, or maybe she won’t react the way you want, stop, and remind yourself that if you don’t take action, now, when you have the chance to do so, you may very well never get another opportunity from her. Windows only stay open so long, so move, and move faster!

• Move her soon after meeting her. Met her on the street? In a bookstore? In a coffee shop? At a party? At a bar or a nightclub? Move her within ten minutes after meeting her. Faster, if possible, and she's responding well. Try to move every girl you talk to within ten minutes, maximum. The ones who don't want to move you probably weren't going to get anything productive out of anyway; if she seems REALLY into you but won't move (because of friends or some weird circumstance), grab a number and call her later. Hanging around does you no good. And the girls you get to move with you quickly will commit themselves to you -- and their interaction with you -- right away. The earlier this happens, the better.

• Be fast. Don’t wait to call a woman after you meet her. Text her a few hours after you meet her and tell her it’s great to make a new friend and sign your name. Call her the next day and build some rapport. Then call a few days later and ask her out. Get her out with you that same week!

• When she’s in your place, don’t hesitate. Be confident, suave, smooth. Be aggressive. No means no, obviously, but women don’t want timid men hoping they’ll make the first move, either. The first move is yours to make, and the longer you wait, the more awkward it becomes. So make it FAST!

It's crazy when you think about how many women guys lose by moving too slowly. If you're a cool, normal guy, who takes care of himself, grooms himself well, is friendly, outgoing, and sociable, with at least a little bit of sexiness and confidence about you, I guarantee you you will get a lot more girls by moving faster. Is it possible to move too fast? Yes -- depending (enormously) on the girl, the guy, and the situation. Different girls move at different speeds in different situations with different guys. But in my experience, the vast majority of guys lose girls by moving too slow. So, if you've ever had a girl who felt like a sure thing take off because you missed that window, don't get discouraged. Instead, take heed -- and next time,

Move faster!

Yours,
Chase Amante
 

TheStig

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2012
Messages
1,264
Reaction score
34
Location
USA
Chase has a goldmine of knowledge...granted, it's nothing new but still great all the same.
 

lamobatsman

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 11, 2012
Messages
241
Reaction score
4
not really true. if a girl likes you she wont just fade away. she will be patient. YOu can move slowly it wont make a difference if she likes you
 

whatwg

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 25, 2013
Messages
53
Reaction score
1
Depends what you're looking for. LTR or just a ONS? Look at the other forum thread, the guy make out in one or two dates but after that it goes cold.
 

Down Low

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 21, 2012
Messages
1,067
Reaction score
62
Location
Maryland
The longer you want a relationship to last, the slower you move. The chick goes nuts over the little things you say or do to provoke her.

For ONS, just whip it out and point it at her mouth.
 

Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
8,734
Reaction score
6,666
Age
66
Location
The 7th Dimension
A woman's emotions are clouds drifting by on a Summer day.

Maintaining momentum is everything.
 

MrNiceGuy23

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 8, 2012
Messages
267
Reaction score
10
lamobatsman said:
not really true. if a girl likes you she wont just fade away. she will be patient. YOu can move slowly it wont make a difference if she likes you
Also not really true. If a girl is really into you obviously she will have more patience with you, but she won't wait around. Women can find a new man anytime they want to so if you're not quick enough for her, then she will leave regardless of how much she likes you.

To answer the OP, I push things as far as I want to so long as they match up with my expectations of the woman I'm with. If I'm just looking for a hookup, then I'll push things as quickly as possible to eliminate the long term interactions. If I'm looking for a girlfriend, I still push things, but if things don't go all the way the first few times it's not a big deal because I'm also trying to build a relationship as well.

What you want dictates how fast you should be trying to move.
 

Marker

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 12, 2013
Messages
36
Reaction score
1
I've read this article and let me say that moving fast with women really does work. In fact I read that article (and others) and tried it within that same week and found myself in way over my head. It actually blew my mind how responsive [some] women were to moving quickly.

But I honestly think it's a certain kind of girl. I tried this over the course of last semester and one girl (coolest one I met) was sort of offended because of how fast I tried to move.

I think different situations call for different tactics. I think "moving fast" as a broad concept the only way, that is, if she's on your couch you better try to screw her (and work to get her to your couch). But I don't think girls who are actually interested in you, more than physically, will want to sleep with you the day the two of you meet.
 

Zerro

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 23, 2011
Messages
576
Reaction score
24
MrNiceGuy23 said:
Also not really true. If a girl is really into you obviously she will have more patience with you, but she won't wait around. Women can find a new man anytime they want to so if you're not quick enough for her, then she will leave regardless of how much she likes you.
True but she's not going to go cold on you the day after you met her either.
 

May_Day

Don Juan
Joined
May 2, 2013
Messages
95
Reaction score
63
If you are a passive guy by waiting for her to initiate kino, taking sex off the table, waiting 4 days to call her, you will end up getting nothing. When you snooze, you lose.
 

Deep Dish

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 25, 2002
Messages
2,158
Reaction score
147
I’ve been meaning to write about this topic. When in doubt, at minimum, you only need to move as slow as the situation allows, only as fast as the situation demands. Be patient, fit the spirit of the times, respect the momentum.
Law 35: Master the Art of Timing
Never seem to be in a hurry—hurrying betrays a lack of control over yourself, and over time. Always seem patient, as if you know that everything will come to you eventually. Become a detective of the right moment; sniff out the spirit of the times, the trends that will carry you to power. Learn to stand back when the time is not yet ripe, and to strike fiercely when it has reached fruition.​
Then, enter action with boldness.
 

JohnChops

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
2,768
Reaction score
491
Location
No more keyboard jockeying . Action is the place.
lamobatsman said:
not really true. if a girl likes you she wont just fade away. she will be patient. YOu can move slowly it wont make a difference if she likes you
this i also find true. Some girls are the relationship take it slow type. Despite what most people think on here, a lot of girls (meh a lot is a bad term but im going to sue it anyway) wont give it up the first time you meet them. Live in reality .

If shes a sl0re she will go down on you the first time she looks at you. If she isn't and you find one like that and use this "move fast" sh1t you will for sure creep her out.

Going fast or slow, always keep her emotions engaged and her logical mind disengaged. Logic = im a slut if i sleep with him. Emotion = damn hes kind of cute, id love to get some :cheer:

Thats the way I see it. To be honest ive always been going for those slutty ish type girls and now i found one that isnt blatantly a total slut so taking things slow is fine with me as long as im still in control.
 
Top