FAKING WARMTH

Discussion in 'Don Juan Tips' started by CHALENGE GUY, Oct 22, 2001.

  1. CHALENGE GUY

    CHALENGE GUY Senior Don Juan

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    FAKING WARMTH

    It’s been said that warmth is the # 1 quality a man must acquire if he wants to ease the soreness of his wrist and start using his hips.

    In the initial stages of courtship, challenge will get you nowhere. You have to meet women first and charm them (make them taste the bait).

    Warmth is nothing more than the ability to make people feel that they matter to you, and yet, few people seem to get it. Once and for all, get this : WARMTH is not sexual, or sleazy ; it’s light and pleasant. So there’s no need to come on all hot and heavy. The trick is to come on with all the friendliness and fun at your disposal . Even the most uptight biatches will find it hard to react fearfully or angrily to someone who makes them feel loved and appreciated. Because most of us were culturally brainwashed to equate happiness with approval, we just love to feel appreciated (go ask a squirrel if he likes to feel appreciated by his peers.)

    Warmth is the reason why Danny De Vito gets laid. Lack of warmth is probably the reason why you don’t.

    For those of you who don’t seem to know how to be genuinely warm (and you are legion, or else this forum wouldn’t be so popular), I can teach you how to fake it. If you are recluse, if few people like you, if you feel that our modern world is cold and that people are suspicious and fearful, you don’t know how to be warm. Listen to this : THE MEANING OF YOUR COMMUNICATION IS THE RESPONSE IT GETS. I repeat : THE MEANING OF YOUR COMMUNICATION IS THE RESPONSE IT GETS.

    WARMTH IS THE KEY.

    Use this technique and within a few minutes women who were absolute strangers will be laughing at your silliest jokes and punching you playfully.

    In a nutshell, here it is : Act as if the women you meet were long lost, unattractive school mates that you dearly loved.

    Believe me, if you keep desire in check, you can make a woman feel loved and special just by the warmth in the tone of your voice and your smile.

    You might have guessed it already, bursting your pants with a mighty hard on won’t help you to exude warmth. In fact, desire does to charisma what a 300 lbs gay culturist does to the new guy on his fist visit to the prison’s showers : no good. I know the metaphor is very poorly chosen, but it is nevertheless a powerful image. Desire makes you either insecure or lustful. It kills your chances before you even open your mouth.

    Why is it that you can fake warmth when talking your old grand daddy or sound genuinely nice to your friend’s dog ? That’s right, you’re not picturing yourself pounding them like a maniac while making a conversation (assuming your sexual fantasies aren’t that exotic…. But who knows….)

    So don’t worry about your tone of voice, facial expression or physiology. Unless you're a splendid comedian, faking a facial expression will not serve your cause. Let’s face it : you can’t act. It will be a lot easier to fake warmth by changing how you represent what you see.

    This means eliminating desire at its root. So if this means masturbating three times in a row and punching yourself in the crouch before you get out of the house (for the eternal bachelors only), do it. However there is a simpler answer : when talking to a beautiful lady, pretend you alredy have someone in your life, pretend you are talking to your sister, pretend she is in fact a very feminine boy, whatever it takes.

    When this is done, just pretend she’s a long lost friend and be interested in what’s happened to her.

    I know what you’re thinking : I can’t be that nice to strangers… what am I gonna look like… I’m not like that. It’s not my style.

    That’s right, you’re not like that and you are BORING.

    Think of the person you could become. See a warm, charming individual who listens to what people have to say (a rare commodity these days…). Now compare that person to the boring you, the one who dodges other people’s eyes and says : i know who loves me, all the other people can eat my shorts. You are probably right, a lot of people deserve to eat your shorts and aren't in the least bit interesting, but who would you rather be : a bitter, unexciting punk or a unique soul who persists in reaching out for other people ?


    Warmth is the doorstep.

    ------------------
    Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.

    - Roosevelt

    Heretics shall perish. Please read the Bible. It is is a whole vast world of wisdom, beauty, and moral truth.

    THE DJ BIBLE


    [This message has been edited by CHALENGE GUY (edited 01-19-2002).]
     
  2. Dr_Feelgood

    Dr_Feelgood Don Juan

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    Great post Challenge Guy. Very insightful. It helped me to realize what my problem has been lately. It's been a little hard for me to be warm lately. But, when I used to be, I was one hell of a Don Juan. Thanks for helping me understand I can at least fake it until I get my genuine warmth back.

    P.S. Welcome back. I always enjoyed your posts.
     
  3. IntermediateDonJuaner

    IntermediateDonJuaner Master Don Juan

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    I do not understand this phrase. Listen to this : THE MEANING OF YOUR COMMUNICATION IS THE RESPONSE IT GETS. I repeat : THE MEANING OF YOUR COMMUNICATION IS THE RESPONSE IT GETS.


    What are you trying to tell us using this phrase?
     
  4. CHALENGE GUY

    CHALENGE GUY Senior Don Juan

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    The meaning of your communication is what other people perceive when they talk with you. What you say is 10 % of what they actually interpret, the other 90 % is conveyed by your attitude, facial expression, voice, etc.

    Other people's reaction to you gives you a clue on the quality of your communication.


    ------------------
    Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.

    - Roosevelt

    Heretics shall perish. Please read the Bible. It is is a whole vast world of wisdom, beauty, and moral truth.

    THE DJ BIBLE
     
  5. Don the Legend

    Don the Legend Master Don Juan

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    Hey Challenge Guy,

    Another great post. Thanks for the tip. Keep them coming.

    --------------------------------------------
    IntermediateDonJuaner,

    I think that Challenge Guy means by that statement is that the way are are to people is the way they will treat you back. If you come off as a cold stuckup person, they will reciprocate back the way you were to them. They will respond as a cold stuckup person to you. You want to come off as a warm person and they will respond back as a warm person. If I am misinterperting your statement Challenge Guy, please correct me.

    Thanks,

    Legend
     
  6. CHALENGE GUY

    CHALENGE GUY Senior Don Juan

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    Exactly
     
  7. MrSassyPants

    MrSassyPants Senior Don Juan

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    I agree with challenge guy about most things. (not about warmth getting Danny Devito laid, if Danny gets laid its because he's rich and famous)

    I don't think warmth and challenge are in conflict. Ideally, you want a girl to crave being around you, (warmth, etc...) and desire it more.

    If you are warm, but not available like a puppy dog, you are in pretty good shape.
     
  8. edlova

    edlova Don Juan

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    That's a damn good post man. Good job!
     
  9. GorillaPimp

    GorillaPimp Don Juan

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    That is the best post I have seen here in awhile....I think that is definately an area I need to work on....Actually, I am really good at following most of the DJ principles..but I really need to work on empathy and warmth....because sometimes...I think certain situations are funny...when they think it is serious...& it that can be somewhat counterproductive to a female...so what can you do if you have that tendency to think situations are funny..when they are not to the person...What can you do to hide it and act serious and warmth? like...
     
  10. CHALENGE GUY

    CHALENGE GUY Senior Don Juan

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    I'd say it depends on the reason why you think something is funny, but as a general rule, being light and funny is a plus in the initial stages of courtship.

    My grand father used to say : if a girl isn't worth a laugh, she's an uptight biatch that will drive you crazy, so always breast feed the koalas, always.

    As you might have guessed, my grand father had an uptight wife, but the first part of his advice rings true to me. I forgot to mention that he had a green house and blue land mower.... but that's beside the point.

    However, remember this : do not laugh at her (unless you teasing her, but if you do, never make fun of her feelings.)

    A girl cannot love you if she doesn't trust you a 100 %.
     
  11. syncmaster

    syncmaster Master Don Juan

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    This should be moved to tips [​IMG]
    *hint

    ------------------
    Syncmaster signing out.
    a.k.a ... Adam
     
  12. djbr

    djbr Master Don Juan

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  13. Taviii

    Taviii Master Don Juan

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    What about the gunwitch method that says you have to be in your sexual state? I know I'll better be sexual and show that I'm not afraid of my testosterone (that's what Pook says) then to treat her like a friend.

    I'm a man!

    I take what I want!

    I don't wait for them to "taste the bait" like CHALENGE GUY says!

    I act on my desire!

    I don't hide around the finger!

    This warmth thing is the characteristic of the nice guy that is afraid to go for what he wants.

    Why not fulfill my desire?

    Rubbish advice, but hey, if it goes for you then keep on using it.
     
  14. Groovy

    Groovy Master Don Juan

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    Bump

    I agree with most parts of this post... It's great! One of the most important stuff you can have is that warmth... Even if you do fake it. It's better to push yourself to be social and come off a little wierd then it is to be shy and don't say anything.... Practice! You'll get the hang of it. When I first went "out there", I admit I sounded a bit fake... But it was just because of the mindset. That people were bad mean and scary. :crackup: And I made a shot - by faking it, even if I did came off as fake, I realised it- It's all cool! People aren't going to do you any harm, nothing really happens if they don't like you. That was my key to being more of a natural... Once I realised that it was all fun... Ooohhh maan, that's when you have the best time ever!! :D You MUST enjoy your interactons. :up:

    Take my word for it, try this stuff, you'll see that most of your negative thoughts about people aren't that logical, even if you do have to fake some things, do them, just for the sake of improval! To proove to yourself, you're a jackass if you think people want to hurt you, they rather have fun too! :up: And learn warmth, the results are going to be amazing! Life is tons funner when all people like you and want to be around you! Go don juan! :cheer:

    And another key to charisma\warmth- Like others. People think "Wow, this guy likes me... I gotta like him too!" Try it if you dare! :D
     
  15. LDBaha

    LDBaha Don Juan

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    It's about a balance between being warmth and acting on your desire.

    If you act on your desire you are a pervert
    If you only have warmth you are the nice guy and you will get ljbf'ed.

    Balance my friends...
     
  16. Sandow

    Sandow Master Don Juan

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    I know I may stir up the hornets nest here, but I don't necessarily agree with POOK his and followers. Mind you, Pooks material is outdated, and it's not backed up by factual data or field reports. It's entirely theory, with nearly all of it being one big story (Sounds like as if he was stortelling). I think today's material, material that is tried and true, is much better. I sort of believe in some of Pooks ideas, but I wouldn't take his ideas literally.

    Anyhow, yes it is a balance. And i would say that warmth goes hand in hand with what I call reveal and conceal. The goal is to RELATE to her. This will come off as warmth. Obviously don't be a creepy jerk, acting all ****y and shyt. That will get you nowhere. The goal is to relate, ask interesting questions, make statements that are vague (ones that force her to ask questions so she is more intrigued by you). I can go on and on, but I totally agree with the OP.
     

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