I arranged this facebook date with a girl who didn't want to meet me for a drink cos she felt it was not safe meeting a stranger, so i counter offered with coffee during the day in a public place and she accepted.
but from the start of the date all she kept talking about was her ex-bf who she was engaged to, i felt immediately friend-zoned so i kept saying 'look whatever happened with him put it to one side and forget it for a moment'
its like when she saw me in person she thought 'um no im not attracted to him' so decided to friendzone me, i just listened for a bit but then kept trying to steer the convo away.
she seemed a bit self centered only wanting to talk to her about her, she didn't ask me 1 question about me the entire date, low interest i guess?
its like she was using me for venting to get out her frustration, i mean in places i had her laughing but cos i was sitting opposite her it was hard to kino and escalate.
coffee seems too friendly but i had no choice cos she wouldn't meet somewhere more romantic.
turns out shes really young like only 18 so its like i was acting as a guidance counsellor for her.. also shes had a hard upbringing was a bit of a party girl, her step dad hits her and she hits him back. not great really. im surprised how together she is mentally given she gets hit.
should i just drop her? she has a good heart but i dont think her interest in me is there at all.
i made the vital error of not DHV'ing myself enough or saying things like 'if u impress me then..' cos on facebook i was doing that stuff a lot making her qualify herself to me. i think i supplicated too much on the date and my persona online is different.
anyway, i think the worst part was i said 'next time we should speak in spanish' her native language is spanish, that basically tells her im going to call again doesn't it?
im suppose to leave her with the thought 'will he call again?' which clearly i haven't now.
i tried following grey fox's guide to the 1st date in the dj bible but i dont think it gives info on making her qualify herself to you. i think i was too nice and didn't take any risks. i asked the questions to make her feel i was genuinely interested in her but i should have done push pull and negs more, i said 'you talk a lot' and did a hand motion of talking.. not really a neg i guess.
but from the start of the date all she kept talking about was her ex-bf who she was engaged to, i felt immediately friend-zoned so i kept saying 'look whatever happened with him put it to one side and forget it for a moment'
its like when she saw me in person she thought 'um no im not attracted to him' so decided to friendzone me, i just listened for a bit but then kept trying to steer the convo away.
she seemed a bit self centered only wanting to talk to her about her, she didn't ask me 1 question about me the entire date, low interest i guess?
its like she was using me for venting to get out her frustration, i mean in places i had her laughing but cos i was sitting opposite her it was hard to kino and escalate.
coffee seems too friendly but i had no choice cos she wouldn't meet somewhere more romantic.
turns out shes really young like only 18 so its like i was acting as a guidance counsellor for her.. also shes had a hard upbringing was a bit of a party girl, her step dad hits her and she hits him back. not great really. im surprised how together she is mentally given she gets hit.
should i just drop her? she has a good heart but i dont think her interest in me is there at all.
i made the vital error of not DHV'ing myself enough or saying things like 'if u impress me then..' cos on facebook i was doing that stuff a lot making her qualify herself to me. i think i supplicated too much on the date and my persona online is different.
anyway, i think the worst part was i said 'next time we should speak in spanish' her native language is spanish, that basically tells her im going to call again doesn't it?
im suppose to leave her with the thought 'will he call again?' which clearly i haven't now.
i tried following grey fox's guide to the 1st date in the dj bible but i dont think it gives info on making her qualify herself to you. i think i was too nice and didn't take any risks. i asked the questions to make her feel i was genuinely interested in her but i should have done push pull and negs more, i said 'you talk a lot' and did a hand motion of talking.. not really a neg i guess.
