Extra-Martial Affair

[DjVelvet]

I'm happily (yes I do) married with a beautiful wife (HB8) and a daughter; My wife is a giver and loves me a lot. She has the ideal characteristics of what everyone considered as "the ideal wife". She is diligent in everything, in her career, taking care of my daughter, doing her household chore, etc. Very ideal except for the fact that she likes to nag a bit (not too bad) married for 3.5years

I was regularly chilling at a local pub with a group of male friends. I came to know this HB9 working there. Originally, we were just like friends, I wanted it to be platonic and naturally, she came to be quite interested in me slowly over the past 2months. It was quite natural DJ game.

We had sex at a hotel. Mind-blowing, HB9 doesn't know I'm married (cunning I know) and I didn't tell her. She was all over me. We decided to hang out a bit the next day for dinner. And I came to know that she's a great girl with excellent personality (we know one another for a period of time) and her character resembles my wife.. And she's a giver too.

Well, our affair have since lasted for 1month and she's all over me (givig me mind blowing sex, BJ me while i am driving.. Etc etc ;UNTIL I decided to rethink... What the **** am I doing!?

This is bad.. I am confused. Both chicks are great. I was wondering.. If keeping 1 GF outside of marriage.... Gulp.... Doable?

 

[backbreaker]

i am not going to **** on you for doing this. i wouldn't do it but i can understand the desire to.

i also understand that having sex with someone doesn't mean you don't love your wife.

if i were to do something like this, hypothetically, i would make sure that my wife always got the most attention. i'm not taking my side piece out more than i take my wife out. i'm not fvcking my side piece more than i'm fvcking my wife. but at the same time, if you can keep it casual and she knows you are married and nothing is going to happen, do what you do. not going to knock the hustle as many married women i have slept with lol.

just make sure not to neglect your wife and be careful, don't get so caught up in the side peice. never give your address, never give her your real cell phone keep a backup cell phone in your car for "those women" or **** even better a pager if you can and just use a payphone, no facebook noting, just ****.

 

[DjVelvet]

Yes indeed.. Facebook is a killer. I have another dummy Facebook account without pictures. My original Facebook has all privacy settings on the tightest security.. Heck.. I even think of deleting my original FB account

I have DJ friends whom had Facebook "killed" them, causing divorces or whatsoever

 

[Bible_Belt]

The killer is when everyone is not on the same page, as in your case of the mistress not knowing she's a mistress. When she finds out, she can be mad enough to confront the wife. It's better that she know the deal, and surprisingly enough, the closer she is to your wife, the safer you are. Ideally, the two of them would become friends, and if that happened, your secret would then be safe forever.

If, after mistress knew about the wife, you were to take the wife to her bar and have the two of them chat, you'd be amazed at how quickly they would strike up a friendship. They already have something in common - you. And if you think you get an adrenaline rush by cheating now, just wait for when the three of you hang out together. :rockon:

 

[5string]

So how do you feel now that you fvckin cheated and disrespected your wife? Why don't you just get divorced and chase poon for the rest of your days?

Fvckin pathetic. You're one of those guys that thinks of pvssy 24/7 and will stop at nothing to get it. Ah fvck, who cares about your wife or anyone else you may hurt. You got your tang. Nothing else matters right?

How fvckin typical.

 

[5string]

The killer is when everyone is not on the same page, as in your case of the mistress not knowing she's a mistress. When she finds out, she can be mad enough to confront the wife. It's better that she know the deal, and surprisingly enough, the closer she is to your wife, the safer you are. Ideally, the two of them would become friends, and if that happened, your secret would then be safe forever.

If, after mistress knew about the wife, you were to take the wife to her bar and have the two of them chat, you'd be amazed at how quickly they would strike up a friendship. They already have something in common - you. And if you think you get an adrenaline rush by cheating now, just wait for when the three of you hang out together. :rockon:

Bible

Why are you trying to advise this chump? You think this is ok?

I'm gonna go bang my head against the fvckin wall. I guess I just don't get it after all.

 

[samspade]

Bible

Why are you trying to advise this chump? You think this is ok?

I'm gonna go bang my head against the fvckin wall. I guess I just don't get it after all.

5string, he's just explaining to him how to keep it going if he wants to. You don't need to flame either, even if you think what the OP is doing is terrible. The OP is asking if it's doable, not if it's right or wrong. Although I understand why you find it repulsive or wrong.

OP, personally I think that the order of difficulty is always 1) Telling the truth, 2) Suppressing the truth, and 3) Lying. You probably don't want to opt for #1. Right now you're doing #2, but that can only last for so long. And of course if you've started #3 (even small lies) things will get confusing for you and I'm sure your wife will get suspicious. You want all that anxiety?

Some guys can handle it. I'm not very good at lying. I don't want to waste energy keeping my story straight. That's not the only reason I wouldn't do this. But hypothetically, if I were to knock boots with some babe, I'd have to cut it off immediately after that. First of all because of the "got away with it once, don't press your luck" thing. Secondly because one or both of you is bound to become emotionally attached. Third because guilt would get to me (you could also make this #1). Having a daughter would make it feel worse for me, but that's me. I just couldn't juggle all of the above and would have to say "game over" sooner than later.

So when you ask if it's "doable" consider all that...plus the logistics that people mention (cell phones, facebook, etc.). A lot of work for a piece of a$$. Maybe it's not as daunting to you but to me it'd be way too much effort (assuming I'd be "okay" with it).

 

[speed dawg]

This is bad.. I am confused. Both chicks are great. I was wondering.. If keeping 1 GF outside of marriage.... Gulp.... Doable?

You've got no nuts, no will power. The easy part is going through with this affair. I understand going out and keeping your game fresh, we all need to do that from time to time. You've disrespected your wife and family. I echo 5string: pathetic, pal. Do you think you're cool by doing this? It's the thrill, I've been there, not too long ago. It takes a man to turn down a sure piece of @ss due to being faithful to his wife.

All I can tell you is to not ever tell your wife, and if you want to have an affair, DON'T DO IT LOCALLY. Just complete idiocy.

 

[5string]

You've got no nuts, no will power. The easy part is going through with this affair. I understand going out and keeping your game fresh, we all need to do that from time to time. You've disrespected your wife and family. I echo 5string: pathetic, pal. Do you think you're cool by doing this? It's the thrill, I've been there, not too long ago. It takes a man to turn down a sure piece of @ss due to being faithful to his wife.

All I can tell you is to not ever tell your wife, and if you want to have an affair, DON'T DO IT LOCALLY. Just complete idiocy.

dawg

I'd happily buy you a beer if I could. You are one of the few guys that actually understands what it means to have a pair. You know, the ability to turn something down that has been handed to you on a silver platter simply on principle. You have my greatest admiration.

samspade

I truly respect you and you are one fine individual, however, to even give the impression that you condone this sh!t and think it's ok to advise this guy on his bad behavior is just wrong. I hope his wife finds out and takes him to the fvckin cleaners. He deserves it.

 

[Gro0ver]

Either:

a) Things aren't as great with the wife as you're saying, or you wouldn't be willing to take such a huge risk

or

b) You don't consider it a huge risk....in which case....you're stupid, because it is a massive risk for a piece of ass. What about the cost to your self respect?

Cheating is easy, much easier then getting good poon when you're single (natures way i guess)....keeping and maintaining a good relationship is way harder, even with a great woman.

It's not the morality of it that bothers me, it's the risk and the damage it does to your relationship that makes me think this is a bad thing. I don't see a happy ending if you continue, whether your wife finds out or not.

 

[samspade]

samspade

I truly respect you and you are one fine individual, however, to even give the impression that you condone this sh!t and think it's ok to advise this guy on his bad behavior is just wrong. I hope his wife finds out and takes him to the fvckin cleaners. He deserves it.

Yeah, I hear you. I don't condone cheating, but I am not the boss of this guy. He's not asking for moral clarity. He asked if it was doable. It is, but at a huge risk. I've seen a lot of threads on SS get derailed because people get flamed immediately for this kind of thing, then everything turns into a big argument about morality. Better to explain just what he's getting himself into, in my opinion.

 

[DavenJuan]

DjVelvet...

The overwhelming response seems to lend towards the fact that this is probably not the best situation to have put yourself in. In efforts to stay on topic "is it doable", the simple answer is ...NO.

it is next to impossible to keep a healthy, strong relationship at home, while attempting to maintain a relationship outside of your home. its not only distracting your physical commitment to your wife, but more importantly "emotionally" distracting you.

Split second thoughts of this "mistress" throughout the day plays a much larger role in withdrawing your responsibilities from your family than you probably are aware of.

In addition, the very fact that this "mistress" is not aware of your family life, is a HUGE concern. Not only is it possible that she may react unfavorably WHEN she finds out, you may have also jeaporized her own personal morals.

The answer is simple, however your corrective actions may be a little bit harder to obtain.

 

[samspade]

Just watched a documentary on Johnny Carson last night.

The guy married four times. All of his wives knew he cheated on them. One even said, "I know there were other women, and I'm okay with it. Johnny had to do what Johnny had to do." But they all (except the last one I think) eventually got fed up and divorced him, costing him millions.

The point is, this was a guy with hundreds of millions, and a license to get away with quite a bit more than the average man (as a performer). He had all the resources one could ask to facilitate adultery. And his wives still knew. And even though he was "alpha," they eventually walked.

So if you think you can get away with it, ask yourself if you have the resources Carson had. Your other option is to travel back in time and become a monarch so you can behead your wives.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Why are you trying to advise this chump? You think this is ok?

I don't think he asked me if I thought it was ok. Or you, either.

If his question was "I'm thinking of cheating. Do you that that is ok?" then that would make a discussion of morals somewhat relevant. But in this case, what's done is done. Feeling guilty and miserable is not going to help anything. All he can do is make the best of the situation he has now.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

He is asking if this is a doable and the answer is yes.

First thing you need to do is let the mistress know that you have a wife and that your wife will always come first but your still down to have fun with her. That's the first thing you need to do. If she is cool with that I suggest you get another cheap cell phone where your wife can't go through any of it and only the mistress has the number. Also don't be creeping around every day now. Do it like once every couple of weeks or so.

Don't get caught brother.

5string: Can I get a beer? Budlight Lime please!

 

[DavenJuan]

He is asking if this is a doable and the answer is yes.

First thing you need to do is let the mistress know that you have a wife and that your wife will always come first but your still down to have fun with her. That's the first thing you need to do. If she is cool with that I suggest you get another cheap cell phone where your wife can't go through any of it and only the mistress has the number. Also don't be creeping around every day now. Do it like once every couple of weeks or so.

Don't get caught brother.

5string: Can I get a beer? Budlight Lime please!

I have to disagree Prettyboy...

I guess this all really depends on what your definition of "doable" means. MAINTANABLE is really what should be asked. I think anyone can at first get another female outside of their marriage. Hell, some women even find married men attractive simply because they are married.

The issue is what happens NEXT. after awhile, most women disregard ANY boundaries you may felt you have set up, and start to expect more in return. when you cant produce more, issues start to arise. Obviously her telling your wife is the biggest concern, but definitely not the only one.

With a few exceptions, most women want to feel like they are important and will fight for your attention regardless of it being against your wife or another girlfriend. they may ACT as if they are down and willing to be second fiddle, but that only lasts for so long.

all i can say is be prepared DJVelvet. dont convince yourself that you can play, and expect to walk away unscaved.

 

[speed dawg]

Well if you're a straight up G then you can probably tell them all about the affair and your wife still won't leave you. Doesn't make it right, and I can't imagine how terrible the marriage would be....lying and screaming in front of the kids and all. Haven't you ever seen Goodfellas?

 

[backbreaker]

everyone here knows I"m a pretty big history nut. one of the most popular figures in history is Ghankis Kahn for how he was able to conquer most of the known world. Everyone considers him to be this man who just ran through women all the time and had no regards for women but nothing could actually be further from the truth. there is documented evidence, as in poetry, books, accounts, that he was madly in love with his wife, who he married when he was 8 or 9 years old. He had other wifes later in life but only her sons were allowed to rule after him. He cared deeply about her.


ONe day, before he actually became Kahn, he was doing his thing fighting some people and he always kept his family with him. to make a very long story very short, or as short as possible, his tent was spotted by the enemy at night and at early dawn they did a suprise attack on his camp. his mom was out doing some **** in the morning and saw them coming, not very far away by this time, woke Kahn up and he quickly got up and retreated.

here is where it gets interesting. for whatever the reason may be, there was 1 more person in the camp then there were horses. Without hestiation, of all the people there, he leaves his wife there to be caputured by the enemy. knowing veryw ell she would be raped, probably tourhered..


most people would look at this as a sign of him not actually loving his wife. a "real man" would not leave his wife behidn and would fall on the sword. Kahn was smart enough to know 2 things.. 1. he knew his wife well enough to know she could handle it and 2. he knew that his wife would be smart enough to gather important information on the camp while she was being held so when he came to get her, and he did verys hortly afterwards, she provided him with information that helped kill the entire clan.


Kahn would not only go on to be the rulder of most of the known world, today 1 out of every 200 people that walk on earth have his blood. that's .5% of all human beings on earth. what if he would have stayed behind himself and gotten most assurdly killed by his tormentors? how different would the world be today?

i share that story to smash the idea that because you cheat on your wife you don't love her or that somehow you are a lesser man. that's nonsense. Just beuicase you think about what's in your best interest at times, doesn't mean you don't love your wife.

Now, I don't and won't cheat on my wife, because i know how my wife is and i know that even if i had an inkling of a ich to cheat other which i don't, she couldn't handle that mentally. she's not wired like that. she is extremely emotional and she is extremely in love with me. she doesn't understand that me fvcking another woman is nothing more than masturbation and tyhat i would never feel the same way about another woman than i do about her. she just knows i'm hers and doesn't like sharing.

some women aren't wired like this and can handle it.

This idea of marriage being a life long bond between man and woman that no one will ever part is a very new ideal to civiclization and one that for hte most part i don't think is very natural. i am not saying every man should go cheat on their wifes, i'm saying that if you do it does not necessairly mean youd on't love your wife.

 

[Desdinova]

You need to either let this woman know that you ARE married and fvcking around on your wife with her, or you need to find a new woman who doesn't mind being the mistress.

That being said, you should not be leading this new woman on about your relationship status. She is eventually going to want to become exclusive and even move in with you. Your dishonesty is going to hurt her.

The women who make the best mistresses are the ones who are fvcking around on their bfs or husbands. That way, the both of you are sitting at the same level with risking your relationships. Look at it this way, if the HB9 wants to keep you all to herself and has nothing to lose by sabotaging your marriage, she will do it.

If you want to continue fvcking around on your wife, I highly suggest you get yourself a copy of this free e-book and read it front-to-back.

http://www.cheatmanual.com/

It provided some extremely valuable information when I fvcked around on my ex.

All that being said, I think you'd be better off cutting your ties with the HB9 WITHOUT letting her know that you're married.

 

[DjVelvet]

Guys.. Thanks for everything.. Maybe let me slightly describe about myself recently... (NO BRAGGINGS INTENDED)!

3months ago I was a plump ass out-of-shape (25% bodyfat) dude, though I have a cute pretty face.. during those days, I wasn't able to get any chicks and no chicks would want me.

I signed up for a gym membership and adopted the HARD CLEAN High protein low fat diet (Pure Raw discipline) and hit the gym nearly 5 times per week with my maximum effort

Fast Forward today... I am having six-packs (10% Bodyfats) Very tone muscles that most guys envy. Easily I am a Hot Hunk 8.5. Plus I am rich, very strong game, alpha.

Girls are coming to me. Girls are chasing me. Girls love me... which is darn refreshing... considering when i was out of shape, I was having problems with chicks.

Last night, I visited another local pub and a new HB8 was so attracted to me (I have the body and near-perfect game) She has been asking me out, and i RESIST the temptation to escalate further. Of course easily I can Fvck her anytime..

That's when my situation came... I know that I am at the peak of my Life and game.. I can enjoy all the benefits of an "Alpha Male" now..,

Its now... I know i have to stop...

And I don't know why... I am scared... Its a strange feeling... Somehow I realise that I rather be the fat out-of-shape old self...

Becoz i cannot resist the temptation of "fresh" new chicks.

Please comment..