Experienced DJs could you still win against a latin salsa guy during dating phase?

[Confused]

Ok this new girl I'm seeing started doing salsa and went to a salsa club on NY eve. Not a salsa class, a salsa club.

I dated her for a bit and raised some attraction in her but not enough for her to only think of me. I presented her with flowers on NY eve to make up for my mistakes and she texted me at 11.40pm. She clearly wanted me to be there with her at midnight but I could not make it. She obviously didn't want to be alone on NY eve and since these latin lover types prey on women like this I feel dejected.

I saw her yesterday all made up red lipstick and everything, she never wears red lipstick, so clearly she had a date earlier in the day and was looking to impress someone. She was also dressed rather nice too. I asked her about the red lipstick if it was for a special occasion, she looked down and said 'no', that tells it all.

I don't mean to sound insecure but I'm threatened by this because at the moment all my hard work is going down the drain, my value is dropping cos im coming across as insecure and clingy and needy.

I need to damage control and not see her for a few days. We have a date set up for friday cos she has exams this week.

To you experience DJs how do you compete with something like this?

Can I really lock her in with just conversation alone? THat's all I have with her, and is what she's attracted to with me. I have history with her and she's put in a bit of emotional investment which maybe suggests why she comes back to me to give me another chance this is the 2nd time she's come back.

It's like it'll be a decision between her having a relationship with me and a sexually charged passionate fling with this guy. I dont care how much game you have how on earth are you suppose to compete with this?

Is it too late for me to become a challenge to her?

 

[Recon]

Stop making useless posts, because you dont listen to anything. Your wasting everyone's time. Read the ADVICE that was given to you in your past two threads about this girl.

With the way you act don't hold your breath on her being interested in you.

 

[Ice882]

didn't read this. but know its retarded.

fvck the salsa douche, honestly, you don't need to be an "experienced DJ" to fvcking not be a pvssy and not get a b1tch snatched from you by some salsa fag. Honestly sack up you pathetic wimp.

 

[Confused]

I've been to a few salsa clubs, and I can tell you that a really good salsa dancer can definitely flip a few switches on in a woman. That's mainly because a good salsa dancer knows how to lead a woman confidently into different spins and dips and other moves, and that in itself shows all the DJ qualities that we aspire to: confidence, DHV, and also social proof since they will more than likely dance with many girls and not just one girl.

I will tell you this though - a lot of salsa dancers are actually really creepy guys that women wouldn't want to go out with. They might give off a good first impression, but they've got no inner game. This is because a lot of people start salsa dancing in order to get over their shyness with women.

My suggestion to you is don't sweat it. Cut off contact with her for 3-5 days, no texts or calls. That should increase her attraction level to you. Then, after a week call her and set up a date. In general, when you talk to her, don't ask her where she's going or why she hasn't talked to you or why you haven't seen her etc etc... That just shows neediness. Keep your phone calls short (10-15 min max) and just have some small talk and set up the date.

The problem is we're both on campus and I already set up a date with her WHEN i found out about all this salsa stuff. She was all made up, red lipstick etc (she never ever has been that made up or dressed up even when she was on dates with me which tells me she clearly was on a date prior to seeing me on saturday afternoon.

I asked her about the red lipstick saying 'is it for a special occasion?' i realise it does make me sound jealous and observant, she looked down and said 'no' so clearly she did. I think I am more threatened by the effort she put in to impress this guy and shows me that her IL in me despite my big gesture of flowers and her texting me at 11.40pm on NY eve is still lower than this new guy. I feel agrieved that a big moment like that fvcks up my situation, cos the next day she was still really happy to see me BUT her IL in him is higher than mine and that's frustrating.

I know you either need to take up salsa, or avoid girls who are attracted to salsa latin guys in the first place otherwise you're going to have a lot of problems in future.

Anyway the biggest problem I seem to have is that after I set the date up for Friday I acted way too clingy and needy as I returned to the cafe where I hang out to talk to my friend, and I went over to talk to her again while she was on her computer. She didn't pay as much attention to me, like semi-talking to me but showing me pics from her NY eve night etc, she then mentions she's learning spanish and seemed really excited looking for someone on search on facebook, when I looked over at the screen she got all defensive, and I just thought she was going to show me more pics.

But I know when people are excited by something they can't help talk about things related to that person, so I've deduced that the guy is latin, spanish speaking, and she was searching for him on Facebook. I felt so threatened by this, I should have just left it cos my value is decreasing more and more despite her IL being relatively high 2 hours before?

Anyway, as this cafe is where I usually hang out she was there yesterday too, I was with a pretty female friend using my laptop then I turn round and she was there, I didn't really wanna talk much so I walked by and said hey and order a drink at the counter, then while it was being made I went over to her to chat a bit to be brief wishing her good luck with her exam and studies ( i wanted to give her her space after the day before with me talking to her while on the computer) so i left. When I went to leave the cafe for a bit I went over to say goodbye saying i'd be back later etc etc. I kissed her on the cheek goodbye. I am around way too much aren't i?

I feel as if I'm too available in her presence or maybe like im checking up on her in her eyes which is lowering my value. But this is the cafe i normally hang out in I dont want to change my life just cos of her. Im going to disappear for a few days so i'm not smothering her.

Anyway when I returned she was still there but I didn't look in that direction, I went straight to my friend who had just come back from holiday, I spent the next couple hours not looking in her direction at all. Even when a guy came by to sit and talk with her I didn't want to disrupt her cos looking over would make me look jealous, I just dont know how to handle situations like this without looking jealous so I just avoid looking in that direction all the time which could also look suspicious.

Anyway her that guy left and she continued studying maybe for another 1/2 hour or so, she probably knew I could tell she was by herself even if i didn't look over but i didn't want to talk to her again as I already said goodbyes earlier and I need to give her space so hopefully that shows less neediness even though I was in her area.

When I went to the toilet I kind of looked straight ahead avoiding looking in her direction but i saw her out of the corner of my eye look up anticipating I might come talk but i didn't, when I came back from the toilet she was getting ready to leave, again I didn't look at her, only when she got up to walk off i looked back and she looked at me and waved, I waved at her. It's a small cafe everything can be seen and heard.

Also during that period when she was with that guy, she left to take a phonecall at the entrance, it was clearly in english cos she left so I wouldn't hear so obviously it's a guy, she has no reservations about taking a phone call ever where she's sitting especially when it's in her native language.

I have a date with her Friday, should I just avoid all contact with her until then?

I do need to confirm what we're doing because I'm suppose to be away right now but the snow cancelled my flight so I told her to reserve 9pm Friday for me but i didn't say what we're doing.

Should I be overly concerned about her IL in this new guy? Sometimes you need luck just to preserve your situation with a girl. I don't know if i need to come at her serious cos we had history or just play around and have fun.

She already knows i'm so into her and she was too at one point, She has trust issues and I need to use this time to make her feel she can trust me.

It's almost as if there's a decision for her between something new passionate and exciting, or something serious and intimate with me.. if i can add also the passionate fun element then he has no chance.

What should I do for a date with her on Friday? cos i need to be somewhere i can make out with her too.

 

[Recon]

The problem is we're both on campus and I already set up a date with her WHEN i found out about all this salsa stuff. She was all made up, red lipstick etc (she never ever has been that made up or dressed up even when she was on dates with me which tells me she clearly was on a date prior to seeing me on Saturday afternoon.

Over analyzing

I asked her about the red lipstick saying 'is it for a special occasion?' i realise it does make me sound jealous and observant, she looked down and said 'no' so clearly she did. I think I am more threatened by the effort she put in to impress this guy and shows me that her IL in me despite my big gesture of flowers and her texting me at 11.40pm on NY eve is still lower than this new guy. I feel agrieved that a big moment like that fvcks up my situation, cos the next day she was still really happy to see me BUT her IL in him is higher than mine and that's frustrating.

You sound extremely jealous, and she can see right through your "innocent questions" Listen, your "big" gesture means nothing bro. It's over. Her texting you on New Years is a joke. You think she sent that text personally to you?

Chances are very slim. In fact it was probably a general non-personal text. So in essenence IT MEANS NOTHING. NOTHING. NOTHING. NOTHING.

In case you didn't read that. NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING.

I know you either need to take up salsa, or avoid girls who are attracted to salsa latin guys in the first place otherwise you're going to have a lot of problems in future.

You can't be serious? Read that sentence again over and over untill you realize how pitiful and needy it sounds. Good Luck weeding out all of the "girls who are attracted to salsa". I hope you have an good screening process. Let me know how it goes!

Anyway the biggest problem I seem to have is that after I set the date up for Friday I acted way too clingy and needy as I returned to the cafe where I hang out to talk to my friend, and I went over to talk to her again while she was on her computer. She didn't pay as much attention to me, like semi-talking to me but showing me pics from her NY eve night etc, she then mentions she's learning spanish and seemed really excited looking for someone on search on facebook, when I looked over at the screen she got all defensive, and I just thought she was going to show me more pics.

Over analyzing. Actually you probably bothered her. People don't like it when you snoop through their personal business. You seem very clingy.

But I know when people are excited by something they can't help talk about things related to that person, so I've deduced that the guy is latin, spanish speaking, and she was searching for him on Facebook. I felt so threatened by this, I should have just left it cos my value is decreasing more and more despite her IL being relatively high 2 hours before?

I'm not sure what your asking. But the truth is finally revealed. I cant beileve you put the mystery together so easily! She had to have been looking for the same guy on facebook. I mean because she is learning spanish, taking salsa lessons, and you somehow knew she was searching for him on facebook it has to be true right? I'm so glad you figured this out.

Man, declining interest level in 2 hours? Usually interest with me and women fades within minutes. You've gotta teach me how you do it!
Anyway, as this cafe is where I usually hang out she was there yesterday too, I was with a pretty female friend using my laptop then I turn round and she was there, I didn't really wanna talk much so I walked by and said hey and order a drink at the counter, then while it was being made I went over to her to chat a bit to be brief wishing her good luck with her exam and studies ( i wanted to give her her space after the day before with me talking to her while on the computer) so i left. When I went to leave the cafe for a bit I went over to say goodbye saying i'd be back later etc etc. I kissed her on the cheek goodbye. I am around way too much aren't i?

I feel as if I'm too available in her presence or maybe like im checking up on her in her eyes which is lowering my value. But this is the cafe i normally hang out in I dont want to change my life just cos of her. Im going to disappear for a few days so i'm not smothering her.

Anyway when I returned she was still there but I didn't look in that direction, I went straight to my friend who had just come back from holiday, I spent the next couple hours not looking in her direction at all. Even when a guy came by to sit and talk with her I didn't want to disrupt her cos looking over would make me look jealous, I just dont know how to handle situations like this without looking jealous so I just avoid looking in that direction all the time which could also look suspicious.

Anyway her that guy left and she continued studying maybe for another 1/2 hour or so, she probably knew I could tell she was by herself even if i didn't look over but i didn't want to talk to her again as I already said goodbyes earlier and I need to give her space so hopefully that shows less neediness even though I was in her area.

When I went to the toilet I kind of looked straight ahead avoiding looking in her direction but i saw her out of the corner of my eye look up anticipating I might come talk but i didn't, when I came back from the toilet she was getting ready to leave, again I didn't look at her, only when she got up to walk off i looked back and she looked at me and waved, I waved at her. It's a small cafe everything can be seen and heard.

Also during that period when she was with that guy, she left to take a phonecall at the entrance, it was clearly in english cos she left so I wouldn't hear so obviously it's a guy, she has no reservations about taking a phone call ever where she's sitting especially when it's in her native language.

I have a date with her Friday, should I just avoid all contact with her until then?

I do need to confirm what we're doing because I'm suppose to be away right now but the snow cancelled my flight so I told her to reserve 9pm Friday for me but i didn't say what we're doing.

Should I be overly concerned about her IL in this new guy? Sometimes you need luck just to preserve your situation with a girl. I don't know if i need to come at her serious cos we had history or just play around and have fun.

She already knows i'm so into her and she was too at one point, She has trust issues and I need to use this time to make her feel she can trust me.

It's almost as if there's a decision for her between something new passionate and exciting, or something serious and intimate with me.. if i can add also the passionate fun element then he has no chance.

What should I do for a date with her on Friday? cos i need to be somewhere i can make out with her too.

I tried to read the rest of your story, I really did. But everything that needs to be said can be summed up in my first reply. "Over analyzation" Get back to the real world man.

Listen, stop making threads. People answered your damn questions in your last too.

Posters stop responding to this guy because he will only be making another thread in a few days about his next date.

Besides being harsh... Seriously man just relax. Acting this way about a woman will only come through your actions when your with her or around her. They can see through that and it's a turn-off. So calm down. Pursue other women in any way shape or form, even if its just a hello or making friends. It will help to get this girl off your mind.