Hello folks,
This is the forum that helped me a few years ago when I was going through my heartbreak with my Ex-GF. It was tough and painful and I thought that I would never get over it, when in fact it was all an illusion. Time healed all wounds!
I am back with a different situation, I know what would be the right thing to do, but my emotions are clouding my judgement and I need to control them. I am seeking advice here on how to do that:
After my heartbreak in 2009, (dating a girl for almost 3 years) It took me 9 months to completely get over her when she dumped me. (main reason she wasn't my religion and then I saw the nasty side of her)
I promised myself I will never get in that position again and open my heart to someone I know will not be there for me in the future.
I met a girl February of last year 2012. We kicked it off, and we became really close. She is European and the most amazing girl. We never fought, she is beautiful, sweet, smart and I have no reason to hate her. She is an immigrant living in the USA for 4 years now on a student visa.
I never opened up to her as much as she did, she did everything for me and I was caring but I never felt deep emotions for her until now.
She works at different malls and makes a lot of money cash selling products at kiosks. She always complained to me that she is unstable about me and she doesn't know what is going to happen between us. She does not have her papers and now she is filing for a case with an attorney hoping to get them. I mentioned to her when I first met her that I must be with a Jewish girl and that parents will not approve, and I will not be in a serious relationship with one who is not. After a year she was planning on leaving the state to another state because, that would be an easy way for her to get over me. I felt the heartbreak nearing and I asked her not to go and to stick it out here. She stayed
Earlier in the summer she got an offer to go to the west coast for work and she decided she wasn't going to take it because of me. I am all she has in the USA, other than friends. When she saw that I didn't take her seriously she changed her mind and told me she would go away for a month to work. This way she would clear her mind and make more money their. This is exactly what happened and she came back last week, 2 months later.
During this time I felt normal letting her go, missed her a little bit but then it hit me 2 weeks before she started coming back. I went to her apartment the night before and cleaned it and prepared it beautifully for her return. I decorated it with flowers and all and it was my first time that I actually did something really thoughtful and nice for her. I spend the whole week with her and during that time I felt really good and at the same time uneasy.
Now she just left back for another month, now I now she is going to come back but I feel pain in my heart. I have not felt like this the whole time until now. I do not know if I am sad,upset or depressed. Maybe I just miss her and the feeling will go away in a few days. I feel like crying.
I think it is because, I want to be with her, but I know she is not my religion and it wont work out. Or is it because she does not have her papers yet and I might lose her in that way. It is bothering me inside, i told her how I feel and she tried to speak to me about it but the feeling is coming and going all day today. I feel like we broke up even though we didn't.
Or do I love her?
I want to be with this girl and I do not want to let her go, I am afraid that one day that is going to happen, but why cant I be happy in the moment like I was this whole year and a half, will I feel back normal when she comes back to NYC? or will I start feeling normal again in a few days and this is normal?
On top of all this, I just aced a great job at a great financial firm studying for my series 7 and I must not fail it. Today is was hard concentrating because of her.
The weather is depressing here. Snowing and cold as hell. And over there it is sunny and hot where she went.
I feel like all this adds it all up.
Great advice would be appreciated thank you for your time
This is the forum that helped me a few years ago when I was going through my heartbreak with my Ex-GF. It was tough and painful and I thought that I would never get over it, when in fact it was all an illusion. Time healed all wounds!
I am back with a different situation, I know what would be the right thing to do, but my emotions are clouding my judgement and I need to control them. I am seeking advice here on how to do that:
After my heartbreak in 2009, (dating a girl for almost 3 years) It took me 9 months to completely get over her when she dumped me. (main reason she wasn't my religion and then I saw the nasty side of her)
I promised myself I will never get in that position again and open my heart to someone I know will not be there for me in the future.
I met a girl February of last year 2012. We kicked it off, and we became really close. She is European and the most amazing girl. We never fought, she is beautiful, sweet, smart and I have no reason to hate her. She is an immigrant living in the USA for 4 years now on a student visa.
I never opened up to her as much as she did, she did everything for me and I was caring but I never felt deep emotions for her until now.
She works at different malls and makes a lot of money cash selling products at kiosks. She always complained to me that she is unstable about me and she doesn't know what is going to happen between us. She does not have her papers and now she is filing for a case with an attorney hoping to get them. I mentioned to her when I first met her that I must be with a Jewish girl and that parents will not approve, and I will not be in a serious relationship with one who is not. After a year she was planning on leaving the state to another state because, that would be an easy way for her to get over me. I felt the heartbreak nearing and I asked her not to go and to stick it out here. She stayed
Earlier in the summer she got an offer to go to the west coast for work and she decided she wasn't going to take it because of me. I am all she has in the USA, other than friends. When she saw that I didn't take her seriously she changed her mind and told me she would go away for a month to work. This way she would clear her mind and make more money their. This is exactly what happened and she came back last week, 2 months later.
During this time I felt normal letting her go, missed her a little bit but then it hit me 2 weeks before she started coming back. I went to her apartment the night before and cleaned it and prepared it beautifully for her return. I decorated it with flowers and all and it was my first time that I actually did something really thoughtful and nice for her. I spend the whole week with her and during that time I felt really good and at the same time uneasy.
Now she just left back for another month, now I now she is going to come back but I feel pain in my heart. I have not felt like this the whole time until now. I do not know if I am sad,upset or depressed. Maybe I just miss her and the feeling will go away in a few days. I feel like crying.
I think it is because, I want to be with her, but I know she is not my religion and it wont work out. Or is it because she does not have her papers yet and I might lose her in that way. It is bothering me inside, i told her how I feel and she tried to speak to me about it but the feeling is coming and going all day today. I feel like we broke up even though we didn't.
Or do I love her?
I want to be with this girl and I do not want to let her go, I am afraid that one day that is going to happen, but why cant I be happy in the moment like I was this whole year and a half, will I feel back normal when she comes back to NYC? or will I start feeling normal again in a few days and this is normal?
On top of all this, I just aced a great job at a great financial firm studying for my series 7 and I must not fail it. Today is was hard concentrating because of her.
The weather is depressing here. Snowing and cold as hell. And over there it is sunny and hot where she went.
I feel like all this adds it all up.
Great advice would be appreciated thank you for your time
