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Ex said i gave her an STD

HBK

Master Don Juan
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Hi guys,

I'm concerned at the moment, as my Ex girlfriend, who i was also in a LDR informed me last week she had HPV, and said before she met me all her pap smear tests were negative. We had unprotected sex a few times, however we have been broken up since February. The last time we had sex was mid January. She lives in another country.

At the time she broke up with me in february, she was very stressed, and feeling down, and wanted to be alone and broke up with me by text. This was the second time she broke up with me, and was a pattern, where she would go from extreme highs, to extreme lows. It sucked, but i got on with my life, and accepted it.. I think she is bipolar, as there is lots of things she said which were red flags during the relationship.

Before she broke up with me, she asked me to get an STD test, which came back all clear. At the time she was having pains, and was worried about her health. I always get checked every year, and my tests come back negative.

I know the HPV cannot be detected in men, only if you have physical signs e.g Gential warts. It's a very common STD as nearly 50% of men have it, and 80% of women will get it at least once in their lifetime. For me who don't know they have it, it shows no symptoms for some. After the breakup, she didn't contact me until last week, when she text to say "you probably gave me HPV, because my tests were negative before i met you, and i was with nobody else but you, so i know it was you. Be careful with other girls, and also that your HIV tests were negative too"

I told her that i was faithful, and hadn't been with other women, and got my tests back which came back clear. She was concerned for me, and said how the immune system can get rid of it, and i should be ok, and sorry for bothering me. I appreciate her being honest and telling me, but why the long wait since February?

The thing is, it can remain dormant in the body, and not appear on a pap smear until years later in some cases, so it's hard to know. I'm not saying she is lying to me, but it's difficult to know what to say and believe. I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt, as why she would have any other reason to contact me when she broke up with me. Maybe she was angry, and finally decided to say it to me. I haven't had other Ex's women contact me back saying i gave them something.

HPV is caused by Skin to skin contact, usually during intercourse, or also Oral.

I was faithful to her during the relationship, and really don't know what to say, besides I'm clear of everything else, and there is no way to know for sure if i do. I read for most people it goes out of your system after 2 years, however it will remain in a dormant phase, as it's a virus. It's bothering me, as i feel dirty, that I gave something to her. There is a danger if left untreated, that she may develop cervical cancer, however that risk is low, as long as she gets regular pap smears, and chats with her Gynecologist, and keeps check. Her immune system will fight it off, and be ok. I'm just wondering if anyone here has had similar experiences, or can advise, and talk mature about this with me.

Thanks
 

LiveFreeX

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Couple scenarios:

1. You did give it to her somehow (unlikely)

2. She cheated

3. She's fvckin crazy and a liar (very likely)

Ask to see the tests on paper.
 

disgustipated

Master Don Juan
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She sounded reasonable about the whole thing, what's the problem? She wasn't accusing you of knowingly giving it to her and you in fact know you didn't knowingly do this...if its even true. I don't get what's the issue. Your panel came back clear right? So you don't have it supposedly. What more is there to say? If you know you don't have it, she cheated or got with someone recently that gave it to her. No bigee, you move on. If somehow u do have it, you didn't knowingly give it to her...hpv is not so bad considering what else is out there. Really what are you supposed to do? Carry on man.
 
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