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Ex asking to get married? Is this BPD?

Mantis

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I got an account here after reading about other's relationships with BPD partners and it helped me understand my situation.

She keeps bugging me about getting married, but only now after I feel I should totally move on. Only after I think I understand how crazy she is.

We were together a year, we met in class, she was 20, I was 29, she had a 6 year old. We had a great relationship it seemed, she had breast implants, was pretty hot, trust fund, etc.

When we were first together, the ex came to her place and demanding to get inside and we had to run away. First red flag. She also introduced me to her family immediately and things went well for a long time. She always talked about marriage and stuff.

We had an abortion and a year later she says another ex of hers had a kid and she got pissed and broke up by text message while I was on vacation. She blamed me for it, and for the break, but I suspect there were other intentions. Only a week before she wrote me many love letters stating how much she loved me and how her life is so much better now. She goes to a movie with some guy in the same class right after our break, some guy she was talking to and makes it seem like they are hanging out.

I see if she wants to get married, but shes not sure and wants to date, I refuse. Then she starts dating someone else in the class behind my back. She gets engaged to him very soon (supposedly because she was distraught and not thinking straight. I got pissed at her for being with him and made her upset by what I said).

Then she tries to break it off with him for a long time, and he cries when she does..finally she ends it, but only after talking to me during that time, probably trying to secure a branch swing to me, like she did with him.

Then she is back and forth and wants to be with me, then wants space, etc. We mess around a few times. Then when I see she wants space again, switching gears suddenly again, I cut off all contact. I hate just being strung along cause she seems to dissapear when she has time on her own.

Now she keeps texting me and calling that she wants to get married and will give me BJ's all the time, etc. She has been contacting me for months now...could we really be happy? I think if we it was going to work, she would just want to see me and not be using me as a phone emotional tampon.

I am still pretty grossed out that she used some other guy in the class like me and now is coming back to me saying it was a mistake to leave. Emotionally its been really rough and the thought of being with her doesnt really excite me anymore. I have to see her in class all the time for the next couple years, which sucks. But is this just another BPD that I need to avoid? Is she just full of ****?
 

Mantis Toboggan

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She's your ex.

She's crazy.

She had a child at 14.

She's asking you for marriage......as your EX girlfriend.

And you're so confused by this that you needed to ask us about it? Hm. What do you think you should do in this situation? This is a tough one.

I halfway don't believe you, because of how ridiculous this is. But I'm aware of the drama that can occur when two desperate people enter a relationship together. So there is some believeability here.
 

pdx1138

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dude are you kidding?

don't even think about getting married to her.
 

sexysuave

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SHe's 20 and has a 6 year old? LOL Jesus man.. what the hell.. She sounds like a winner!!
 

5string

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Another BPD alert thread!

The other guys told you what to do. You'd better listen to them.
 

Robert28

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what are you waiting on??? go buy a ring!!! marry that girl!!!! she seems like a GREAT catch! wish i could find me one just like her.....
 

joverby

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Robert28 said:
what are you waiting on??? go buy a ring!!! marry that girl!!!! she seems like a GREAT catch! wish i could find me one just like her.....
I second that notion. Does she have a sister? One that was equally as damaged when she was younger?
 

xdreamz

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how perfect! now you can help her and her child through desperate times.
 

Mantis

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Okay, I think you guys are trying to say I should move on, but I'm not sure, Just kidding, you are all correct. I need to get away from all the drama emotional BS she is creating to keep me hanging.

I got emotionally invested cause the abortion, and after she got engaged to a guy in our class. She has big boobs, and $$, so I thought it would be a good thing, and we got along. But I have trouble getting over her when I have to see her all the time. The other guy dropped out of school cause she broke off the engagement so she screwed him over.

WTF is wrong with me, I never cared about marriage or committment and she has made me into a little *****.

I will say, though, that I have been with about 7 girls in the past couple months to try and get over her, and also hooked up with her step-sister to try and get revenge and make her hate me. But these things just make her more into me.
 

Borknagar

Master Don Juan
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Mantis said:
I got an account here after reading about other's relationships with BPD partners and it helped me understand my situation.

She keeps bugging me about getting married, but only now after I feel I should totally move on. Only after I think I understand how crazy she is.

We were together a year, we met in class, she was 20, I was 29, she had a 6 year old. We had a great relationship it seemed, she had breast implants, was pretty hot, trust fund, etc.

When we were first together, the ex came to her place and demanding to get inside and we had to run away. First red flag. She also introduced me to her family immediately and things went well for a long time. She always talked about marriage and stuff.

We had an abortion and a year later she says another ex of hers had a kid and she got pissed and broke up by text message while I was on vacation. She blamed me for it, and for the break, but I suspect there were other intentions. Only a week before she wrote me many love letters stating how much she loved me and how her life is so much better now. She goes to a movie with some guy in the same class right after our break, some guy she was talking to and makes it seem like they are hanging out.

I see if she wants to get married, but shes not sure and wants to date, I refuse. Then she starts dating someone else in the class behind my back. She gets engaged to him very soon (supposedly because she was distraught and not thinking straight. I got pissed at her for being with him and made her upset by what I said).

Then she tries to break it off with him for a long time, and he cries when she does..finally she ends it, but only after talking to me during that time, probably trying to secure a branch swing to me, like she did with him.

Then she is back and forth and wants to be with me, then wants space, etc. We mess around a few times. Then when I see she wants space again, switching gears suddenly again, I cut off all contact. I hate just being strung along cause she seems to dissapear when she has time on her own.

Now she keeps texting me and calling that she wants to get married and will give me BJ's all the time, etc. She has been contacting me for months now...could we really be happy? I think if we it was going to work, she would just want to see me and not be using me as a phone emotional tampon.

I am still pretty grossed out that she used some other guy in the class like me and now is coming back to me saying it was a mistake to leave. Emotionally its been really rough and the thought of being with her doesnt really excite me anymore. I have to see her in class all the time for the next couple years, which sucks. But is this just another BPD that I need to avoid? Is she just full of ****?

Yeah a kid at 14? Fake tits? You forgot to mention that she is a stripper(or worse). and if she isn't, she either hasn't told you or is thinking about it.

Dude AVOID THIS CHICK! She obviously has HUGE issues and you'll regret the married in weeks not months, I'm sure if your family and friends know her they've already told you to dump her ass.

edit: I missed the last post where you mentioned she has $$ she is definitely AT LEAST a stripper on the side.
 

Mantis

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5string said:
Another BPD alert thread!

The other guys told you what to do. You'd better listen to them.
Yeah I didnt even know what it was before I came to this site...
 

Mantis

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Mantis Toboggan said:
She's your ex.

She's crazy.

She had a child at 14.

She's asking you for marriage......as your EX girlfriend.

And you're so confused by this that you needed to ask us about it? Hm. What do you think you should do in this situation? This is a tough one.

I halfway don't believe you, because of how ridiculous this is. But I'm aware of the drama that can occur when two desperate people enter a relationship together. So there is some believeability here.

Thanks - it is truly an obvious choice. I have been brainwashed I think.
 

Mantis

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Borknagar said:
Yeah a kid at 14? Fake tits? You forgot to mention that she is a stripper(or worse). and if she isn't, she either hasn't told you or is thinking about it.

Dude AVOID THIS CHICK! She obviously has HUGE issues and you'll regret the married in weeks not months, I'm sure if your family and friends know her they've already told you to dump her ass.

edit: I missed the last post where you mentioned she has $$ she is definitely AT LEAST a stripper on the side.

Yeah, family and friends say avoid her. Yeah I can see the regret if I do...marriage sucks anyways from what I hear so why torture myself emotionally and get into it.

She has thought about being a stripper....
 

Borknagar

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Yeah married to a girl that doesn't seem like trouble is a bad idea, let alone if it's obvious.

If she has $$ like you said, she has not only thought about but is probably doing it right now, she just said she thought about it, just to see your reaction. I think almost everyone on the board can agree with that, unless you know a for sure other way she would be getting money that doesn't seem like a lie, but honestly, how else can a 20 year old have a ton of money? fake tits aren't cheap, and I doubt daddy got them for her.
 

Mantis

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Borknagar said:
Yeah married to a girl that doesn't seem like trouble is a bad idea, let alone if it's obvious.

If she has $$ like you said, she has not only thought about but is probably doing it right now, she just said she thought about it, just to see your reaction. I think almost everyone on the board can agree with that, unless you know a for sure other way she would be getting money that doesn't seem like a lie, but honestly, how else can a 20 year old have a ton of money? fake tits aren't cheap, and I doubt daddy got them for her.
I wish she was, that would be cool, but she's not.
 

Borknagar

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Either way dude, she's a mess, as long as you already hit it, it's time to run imo, lol
 

5string

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Mantis said:
Yeah I didnt even know what it was before I came to this site...
Yea well, you'd better study up on it and unfvck yourself right now. This sh!t is serious.

The last thing you need is a BPD F117 Stealth Fighter after your a$$ and doing you in before you see it coming.

Get out now. You've been warned. :trouble:
 

Mantis

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5string said:
Yea well, you'd better study up on it and unfvck yourself right now. This sh!t is serious.

The last thing you need is a BPD F117 Stealth Fighter after your a$$ and doing you in before you see it coming.

Get out now. You've been warned. :trouble:

i contacted her yesterday. ugh i am such a loser.
 
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