everyone, if you had one peice of advice to pass on to someone about women...

[Hooligan Harry]

All of the above are valuable pieces of advice

One thing that I personally believe that has not yet been mentioned is:

'No sex before marriage.'

Now I am a Christian, but forget about that for a second. Look at it from a PURELY Don Juan perspective.

If you aren't thinking about trying to lay her, you'll come across as more natural, spontaneous, and fun. All girls find that hot and it causes them to fall in love with you

More importantly, by not having sex with her, you are able to weed out low quality women. Low quality women use sex as a way to get power over you. A guy who wants to wait to have sex, cannot be manipulated or controlled by the girl (which is why I'm sure you've guys have all noticed, that when you turn a girl down for sex, she gets PISSED cause she can't control you by giving/witholding sex). A high quality girl is into love, she is LESS into power or manipulation, so she will be more likely to stick around.

Obviously if you want to just bang low quality girls - go ahead that is your perogative. Just remember the opportunity costs of time, money, emotional energy. As Rollo said: 'You always pay for sex in one form, or another.'

Someone delete this nonsense. Awesome thread so far, lets remove the crap please.

Trader. Sex is very basic need in both men and women. Women need less of it but they still need sex. While your view may hold weight at church, its simply not a functional healthy way approach life for anyone.

People dont get married when they are 16 anymore. Waiting for marriage was not a big deal when life expectancy was 35 and you got married when she had buttons on her chest. Please, put the fact that the bible was written in "the before times" into context with society as it is today.

But hey. Praise Jesus and all that

 

[Trader]

Someone delete this nonsense. Awesome thread so far, lets remove the crap please.

Trader. Sex is very basic need in both men and women. Women need less of it but they still need sex. While your view may hold weight at church, its simply not a functional healthy way approach life for anyone.

People dont get married when they are 16 anymore. Waiting for marriage was not a big deal when life expectancy was 35 and you got married when she had buttons on her chest. Please, put the fact that the bible was written in "the before times" into context with society as it is today.

But hey. Praise Jesus and all that

Women use sex to manipulate men. Women know that sex is their trump card - which is why in a relationship, the man slowly but surely gives the woman more and more power - he is addicted to the sex.

Pook put it best: "Women fear the celibate man the most because he cannot be controlled."

 

[broken dreams]

Rejection is better than Regret.

You cannot negotiate real desire.

Spin more plates.

Rollo you are so money.

QUOTE ""Women use sex to manipulate men. Women know that sex is their trump card - which is why in a relationship, the man slowly but surely gives the woman more and more power - he is addicted to the sex. """QUOTE

You have to use sex up front after sex she will open herself up, it is up to the man to take control of her, if she tries that ****, send her away and wathc her come back trying to figure out why aren't you chasing her like every other loser. like david deida says I you act like a MAN and not act like a wussy and do what she says. she will lose respect for you and dump you.
You act firm and ****y dominant fun = confidence .... she will always respect you even if you dont end up having a realtionship with her.


QUOTE """Pook put it best: "Women fear the celibate man the most because he cannot be controlled.""""" QUOTE

.....Therfore women find this type of man fatally attractive.cause he is a challenge.
BE the Challenge,more challenge more they will chase.
Never break your word, if you do yield and give to please her ...move on cause you are bound to lose control and get emotionally hurt and used by the woman or she will dump your sorry wussy ass. So take control dont tolerate BS and watch them follow you trying to figure you out.

 

[jophil28]

First - Sell your pedestal, sniper rif1e and TV's on Craigslist - there's barrels full of crabs (aka Chumps) who'll pay top dollar for all that crap.

Next, in every interaction with women if things get confusing (or you want to be one step ahead of the rest) stop for a minute and think about the following which is so often parroted but never really explored deeper. Just one thing seems to drive women - a careful balance between Security and inSecurity.

When you are wondering why they are acting covertly, speak indirectly and doing things that make no sense just ask yourself this. If your primary programming was to balance security and insecurity at the same time wouldn't it then make sense to speak and act this way?

Women don't LJBF you because they are cowards or cunning or devious, they do it because they're afraid you'll go cave man on their arse and they found a way to avoid it. Rescuing & Saving - never works because your giving them security that they haven't had to earn. And in the end you'll just break yourself which ultimately makes them loose respect for you which directly translates to a life long sensation of inSecurity associated with the naive chump who thought his actions would earn him the prize.

All single women to some degree (especially the strong independent career types) provision their own security at a perceived level thus you had better bring that same level or better to the table as women don't like to "downgrade" when it comes to their feeling of security.

I could go on and on, but it finally clicked with me a while back. C&F, cold approaches, LJBF reversals, negs, etc, etc, etc are all just playing out a simple (or complex) dance between perceived security / insecurity.

When you see a guy with confidence around women, he is doing this (and often not aware of it). Their perception of security/insecurity is fascinating. When you establish and retain the frame as the prize you are continually playing out the dance they need yet have no real way of explaining to us.

And if it isn't confusing enough, just remember that our matrix programmed response to a women's perceived security needs is almost always 100% bassackwards. Example, we think they are the "one" or need to hear from us soon so we call to them back too quickly - next date she LJBF's or flakes - WTF? You just gave her the wrong type of security by not making her feel a healthy bit of insecurity first (she needs that dance to play out).

It's okay to have your head in the clouds, just have one foot on the ground too. Good women want to compliment your life and bring you up. If they're not doing that they are bringing you down and wasting your single most important resource - your time. Always listen to and follow your gut because it's your subconcious thwacking your left brain which is probably stuck in paralysis by analysis.

And the Gold Medal goes to Sinistar.

 

[Sinistar]

Thanks jophil, I've skimmed the threads from time to time while away and you've been giving excellent advice at every turn!

I wanted to take a break from SS as my wife and I were having our first baby. As I watched her go through being pregnant and having our mega-cute daughter it was like watching "machine code". No one thing (from my POV) seems to have made my wife feel more "secure' than having our daughter and caring for her. Just the other day I asked her a question "If women could have just one, which would make them feel more secure - to be in a healthy relationship with no child or to have a child with no relationship." As hard as she tried to give the programmed safe answer she couldn't help but pick the later. And then she sort of laughed as she listed off friends and co-workers who were in their 30's and early 40's who were (or are) in this exact same position. Women will provision their own security if needed. And they will go to great lengths to do it.

As I skimmed the threads over the past year I observed a common theme which I hadn't noticeed when immersed in SS more daily. It's how AFC's and even DJ's label women. As AFC's we tend to call them cowards, devious, cunning, strategizing, manipulators, liars, etc, etc, etc. Then as DJ's we both observe and learn to deal with the fact that women are covert, indirect and emotional. A lot of guys stop there (which is fine). But for me I kept hearing "a woman's primary need is security" only to have the conversation or thread move on in another direction.

Now, when my wife is acting or speaking indirectly (which she always will), I just quickly chalk it up to it's source - a woman's need to constantly feel a healthy amount of security which in turn places her in a frame where she feels the need to be indirect and covert. And when she gets emotional, it's probably just the outwardly observable affects of the security/insecurity equation being imbalanced.

When it comes to attraction it's interesting to apply the security theory. Why exactly is a woman seemingly more attracted to a guy who has other women around him? Sure, we often want what others have. But there must be more to it than that.

For guys it doesn't matter if 20 million guys think Marissa Miller is hot or just me - she's just plain hot in my opinion. You can even take this a step further. A guy could be told directly in no uncertain terms that the hotty across the bar with 10 chumps in orbit is the DSM Case Book example of the Cluster-B wack job AW and the guy would still find her desireable and want to close. Or reverse it. Surround a HB5 with a bunch of guys and even an AFC isn't going to show interest.

Yet for women it appears to be a lot different. I think when they see a guy with other women they need to know that they are as desireable as the other women he appears to have selected. That rings of a sense of underlying insecurity (w/r to physical appearance and the ultimate ability to bear her own child) which needs to be balanced. And a woman knows that if the guy can't provide at least some of the type of security that a woman needs he wouldn't be surrounded by all these women thus there must be something there (even if he's just a PUA he's provisioning some of the healthy type of security that all women need - validating their desireablity).

I could go on and on. And perhaps these are too broad of strokes being applied to too many situations and categories. Yet, there seems to be a lot more to the statement "a women's primary need is security" than one might think.

 

[gösta berling]

- Sinistar

Can you explain a little bit more. I feel this is important but it doesn't "click" with me yet.

 

[Truman181]

All of the above are valuable pieces of advice

One thing that I personally believe that has not yet been mentioned is:

'No sex before marriage.'

I have to join the other poster who disagreed with you. Fact is I may never get married and I'm sure not going to miss out on one of life's pleasures because of it.

Rollo is right about women using sex to their advantage (of course) but that is another topic entirely.

 

[Sinistar]

- Sinistar
Can you explain a little bit more. I feel this is important but it doesn't "click" with me yet.

...rather than hijack this thread, I'll start a new one called '[in]Security'

 

[Colossus]

Sinistar, welcome back. I thought you hit the old dusty trail.

 

[Colossus]

I am quoting myself from another thread, but I think it's relevant:

I would say that there is almost always an "exchange" that occurs in regards to sex, especially in relationships. When a girl is putting out on the regular, they want some sort of collateral, usually in the form of security, attention, or material goods.

It's not that they don't enjoy sex on a raw physical level, it's just that sex is almost NEVER a stand-alone activity for them. It has to be accompanied by some form emotional value or security assurance. This is the way they are wired. They know that if there is one thing men cannot go without, it is sex; so it follows that conditions can be placed on a steady flow of pvssy.

I think a woman's need for security and valuation comes before sex, and I'd even go so far as to say that sex is often a physical manifestation of those needs for them. I know not everyone agrees with this, and I will add the caveat that when a woman wants to get laid she will certainly get it, but in the scheme of a female's life there is a hierarchy of needs: Attention (valuation), security (provision), and validation.

 

[Sinistar]

Sinistar, welcome back. I thought you hit the old dusty trail.

Thanks Man, it's nice to be back - just needed a break to do some child rearin'

 

[Colossus]

NEVER ASSUME A WOMAN WILL TREAT YOU WITH RESPECT JUST BECAUSE SHE IS A PRACTICING CHRISTIAN (OR ANYTHING ELSE) For those that choose to wait until marriage, good for you, but don't let it fool you into thinking just because it's not a physical R that you can't get emotionally screwed. It's not my intent to bash those who choose to believe, but in my experiences I have found that many women with a oneitis with god have more problems than you would ever want to get invovled with.

It's probably wise to avoid women who hate their fathers(daddy issues) as well as women who have been in abusive relationships. One should also pay attention to who her major influences are as well. When a woman is surrounded by misery, yep, ultimately your next.They will seem nice at first, but these types of women are more than likely going to really put the hurt to you.

Devout religious women can be honorable, hard-working, and virtuous women, but they can also be rife with stubborn issues.

I have casually dated a few of these, and it is difficult. They have this cemented ideal of what marriage should be like, a relationship should be like, and they are usually difficult sexually. If you think about it they are actively denying their basic impulses---to have sex with a man---and this tends to make them frigid, b!tchy, or neurotic.

I have nothing against strongly religious women, but they are so governed by doctrine and 'rules' that it becomes a big qualification game. Not for me.

 

[Colossus]

Might as well add another...

If you sense it's not going to last, she does too. You can be the dumper or the dumped.

And--

ANYTHING you say to her friends, you also said to her. Male, female, doesn't matter. They were there before you, so expect that conversation will reach her ears in short order.

 

[Bible_Belt]

ANYTHING you say to her friends, you also said to her. Male, female, doesn't matter. They were there before you, so expect that conversation will reach her ears in short order.


Agreed. And on a related note, if she's cheating, her friends will always help her lie to you. And if you're cheating, your friends wives and girlfriends will not lie for you. Some of them will go out of their way to tell on you; they think it's their duty as part of the female sisterhood. Women will help other women cheat, yet always want cheating men to get caught.

 

[akus]

everyone, if you had one peice of advice to pass on to someone about women....

Look at her from the point "Is she any use to me?", because believe me, she will look at you from that point.

Achieve personal success, if you are rich, women will fall for you and not walk out on you if you don't like something. Because there is hardly another equally successful guy, but a plethora of equally hot girls out there. This is actually a more elaborate roundabout rewriting of the first paragraph.

P.S. One more, almost forgot. Don't fall for crying and tears, those are not expressions of emotions. Those are weapons. Men use fists to bring the point home. Tears are woman's "fists".

 

[RedPill]

Treat the princesses like hors, and the hors like princesses.

(Everybody wins.)

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

Something that stuck to me that Pook once said...paraphrased:

Do a search on SoSuave on your own screen name. Read all the posts you've ever posted. Look at the dates. Look at your words. Think about what was going on in your life at the time and how your thoughts have evolved. Its amazing the mistakes you've made in the past. The advice you've given other sosuavers. The way you're life has been affected by this forum.

- Sometimes the best advice had already came from yourself.

 

[Bronxtal112]

Look at her from the point "Is she any use to me?", because believe me, she will look at you from that point.

Achieve personal success, if you are rich, women will fall for you and not walk out on you if you don't like something. Because there is hardly another equally successful guy, but a plethora of equally hot girls out there. This is actually a more elaborate roundabout rewriting of the first paragraph.

P.S. One more, almost forgot. Don't fall for crying and tears, those are not expressions of emotions. Those are weapons. Men use fists to bring the point home. Tears are woman's "fists".

$hit man, this is good advice.

 

[mtbbkr111]

Life is a numbers game. The more numbers, the more results.. Keep your head high, and don't look back.
Realize the man you are and what areas you need to improve on. Look at yourself from an observer point of view, fix what needs fixing, add onto what is good.
If you want the best, you have to be in a position to recieve it. No one wants to hand down, they want an even exchange or to trade up. So you better bring something to the table.

 

[Colossus]

Life is a numbers game. The more numbers, the more results.. Keep your head high, and don't look back.
Realize the man you are and what areas you need to improve on. Look at yourself from an observer point of view, fix what needs fixing, add onto what is good.
If you want the best, you have to be in a position to recieve it. No one wants to hand down, they want an even exchange or to trade up. So you better bring something to the table.

Here's a man who gets the big picture. We tend to drown in the details sometimes.

I think one of the biggest problems of "practicing" Don Juans is that they fail to take an accurate inventory of themselves regarding what they have to offer. We get indoctrinated into believing we DESERVE the best simply because of what we have been through and what we have learned, but this is patently wrong. You only deserve what you have earned.

In other words, it is unreasonable to expect to get more than you have to offer. It's like the 230-lb. woman who thinks she deserves a handsome, successful man. Why would a handsome successful man desire a 230-lb woman when he can get a sexy 110-lb 25 year-old? There are "leagues" as we call them, and you have to be aware of what YOU bring to the table before setting your bar for women. No one wants to trade down.