"Once a cheater, always a cheater."
How do you feel about that?
There seem to be a lot of men who will have sex with any willing participant no matter if they are single or have a girlfriend. These guys are constantly looking for sex. It's not a function of their sex drive; rather it is a function of their compelling desire to experience sex with a variety of partners. All men feel it to some extent, but not every man acts on it. Those who do are heralded as players. They are valued and emulated by younger men who admire their freedom and promiscuity, but talk to any woman who thought she had a boyfriend when in reality she had a player, and you'll learn that these men are equally as selfish, impulsive, and difficult to trust.
Women chase after players for the thrill of the chase. This is similar to the stories we hear from AFCs who chase after promiscuous women (and can't understand why they get pushed away when they try to frame their relationship as something heavy or permanent). There are men who are strictly monogamous. They might entertain the thought of cheating on their partners, but they never act on it. Some women sort of fall back on these men when they are tired of chasing the former. Other women have sought nothing but these men their entire lives.
This apparent dichotomy between guys who go steady and guys who go out to the bars when their girl's off visiting her parents is interesting because so many men who have lived their lives wanting monogamy and who have been hurt by women who passed them over or cheated on them... so many of these guys want to become players. That's usually why they come here. I often wonder if they can. Or are they hard-wired to be what some of you call "average frustrated chumps." Are players hard-wired to be players?
The tendencies (compulsivity and impulsiveness, lack of remorse, selfishness) that make the players successful likely reflect immutable facets of their personalities, which have taken decades to develop!
So, should you believe that some product or seminar is going to transform your personality or transform your life for only $3000 (or whatever they're charging these days)???
Should you embrace the "DJ philosophies" or "ASF philosophies" that praise polygamy and sex without strings attached if your entire life you have valued substance in your relationships?
It's possible to become better with women without becoming a player. I feel that this message isn't put across often enough in the community. I think a guy who wants a steady partner can even learn a thing or two from players, but in the end he'll probably hold onto his old values.
