Ending Four Year Relationship

[newstart]

Edit: I didn't know you had to put your age in the post or it would get moved. Anyway, I'm 27.

Hi guys,

I need to vent. I know what I have to do, and I'm going to do it, but it's difficult. I've done a search and read a lot of similar posts, but I just need to type this out. If you've been through this before, I'd be happy to hear your story.

I was a member here years and years ago(6-7 years ago, I think). I was a pure AFC and learned everything I could. I started feeling good about myself and meeting women. I went out with a woman and we really hit it off. We got along so good we've been together for four years with very little arguing or conflict. That changed.

Now here's where it's going to sound familiar to everyone here. I saw everything clearly as it happened, but I allowed myself to become a sucker. She started getting distant. Before this, she came to my house everyday. She always wanted to be with me. That stopped overnight. So, I basically asked her what the problem was and if we should end the relationship. She said she wanted to take a "break." Yes, yes, I know. That means it's over. I allowed my feelings to blind my gut and my mind, though. I gave her space. We went through the whole conversation before hand. She swore to god(she's Christian) that there was nobody else. I believed her. She swore she loved me and wanted it to work, etc. I believed her. But my gut pestered me the whole time. It made me miserable. It knew the truth and it was going to make me feel like sh*t until my I opened my eyes.

I had enough and called her. I told her it wasn't working and it would be best if we ended it. She yelled that I wasn't giving it a chance: "You're just giving up!" I thought she really wanted it to work, so I allowed the sham to continue. We spent a couple evenings together and things seemed good.

My gut wouldn't give me peace, though. It made me feel worse than I have ever felt before. I had to satisfy my curiosity. It was driving me crazy. I didn't want to spy, and I felt like a piece of trash even thinking about it; but I had to. I had to find out.

I set up her myspace for her a year ago. I showed her how to do everything and she told me the password she wanted to use. I couldn't resist myself when the possibility of truth was a few clicks away. I tried to log on to her page. She changed the password. Now I knew I had to see it. It didn't take me long to discover her new password. I looked at her inbox. For the past couple of weeks she has been talking to some guy. I read the messages in an indescribable state of mind. Even with all the signs, I was in shock. While I was absolutely miserable, probably growing a damn ulcer, she was making sweet talk with another man! It was normal get-to-know-you emailing at first. Then she sent him her number. She strung me along like a damned puppy dog. She wanted to keep me around as a backup plan.

I learned all of this last night. She was at work, so I knew she'd check her email. I sent her the nastiest letter I could muster. It was really, really bad and hateful. I attacked her moral character and called her a terrible human being. Honestly, I feel bad for being so mean, as it's not in my character, but I had to attack somehow.

She called crying, asking what the email was about. I gave her the chance to come clean. She didn't. I had to tell her about the emails. She said they were nothing and they meant nothing. She argued that she did nothing wrong because she didn't even "meet" the guy yet! She tried make me into the bad person by sending a nasty email. It was unbelievable! It was late and I got off the phone. We are going to talk tonight and it's over. She lost my trust and respect.

There are more little things, but I tried to keep it somewhat brief. I still have a hard time believing she did this to me. I have flaws, I admit. I unintentionally pushed her away. I take some of the blame for our relationship troubles, but what she did is inexcusable. As far as I'm concerned she cheated on me. She was unfaithful. I won't let someone do that to me.

So that's it. That's my story. It sounds exactly like the stories of so many other men, and I feel like a damn fool that it happened to me.

 

[Señor Fingers]

Good riddance! She sounds very manipulative and immature.

At the same time you should focus on exactly what YOU did wrong. Figure out exactly when and how you started slipping and realize you should never do that sh!t again!

Neither of you is the bad guy here... this type of drama happens everyday. Her biggest mistake was not being honest with you. What can you really do?

The communication was not that solid between you two, and once that falls apart, the rest of the relationship crumbles shortly afterwards.

You also need to ask yourself if you have any issues expressing yourself or communicating, cause this thing goes both ways.

Just dont fall into the victim trap, and revenge wont make you feel any better..

If you really want to "get even" with her, do it by making your life ten times better without her. She's the one that should be missing out on the ride of her life.

PS - This happens to the very best of us. Dont be so hard on yourself.

 

[frivolousz21]

that blows.

but:

4 years? did u live together?

engaged?

married?

thats a long time for just a LTR.

 

[joekerr31]

1) always trust your gut. when a woman is madly in love with you, your spidey senses won't be going off.

2) never confront a woman just walk away. you may think that 'catching' her in an act that clearly shows she is a b*tch will upset her. and it will a little bit. but not that much, cuz guess what, SHE ALREADY KNOWS she's a b*tch. you aren't telling her something she doesn't already know.

moreover, your need to confront her (while occur out of your own desire for closure) shows her how much she meant to you. as such it feeds her ego and in a strange way is almost like a reward. any attempts to make her feel like 'you just lost the best thing you ever had baby' is futile, because if she was someone who thought / felt that way she would never have risked losing it in the first place.

3) when you confront a woman she will ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS try her best to make it YOUR fault. so once again, what's the point?

4) you have to remember that women don't look at your behavior from the perspective of 'when a man does x it means y." they interpret it from their own perspective, which is 'when a woman does x it means y. Frank is doing x therefore it must mean y.'

how do women end relationships? they simply walk away. well, they swing to another branch first.

when a man simply walks away the woman assumes that there is much more behind this action than they know. they assume he must have swung branches. that he has found someone better. that he has 'rejected' her.

when a man breaks up and throws a tantrum and goes into a long tirade about how she is a bad person she thinks 'he's not dumping me because I'm low value. he's not dumping me for some other chic. he's dumping me because he's upset with me. so while that sucks, at least i still know that i'm the prize!"

5) when you walk away from a woman you have to see it as a positive instead of a negative. too many guys have this desperate fear of being alone. as though not having a woman means they are a loser or must suffering. as such they often only leave a woman after she has thoroughly cut his balls right off. most men can 'win' when they walk away because they 'lost' months before they actually end the relationship.

but even regardless of that, its never to late to reclaim your life. its never to late to take back what you willing GAVE AWAY (which is your self respect).

its very important to understand that a woman cannot take anything from you that you are not prepared to give away.

its kind of like a deal with the devil. the devil can't take your soul, you have to give it away. now yes, he'll dangle in front of you a wide assortment of things you desire to try and make a 'trade', but you still have to agree to the trade.

and people who are too stupid to realize that their soul is worth more than anything the devil has to offer will make dumb choices and regret it later on. (note: obviously this is just an analogy)

similarly, a man who sells his self respect for the temptations a woman offers will ALWAYS give away more than he gets in the long run and he will ALWAYS regret the choice he made.

but on the positive side, unlike a deal with the devil, you are free to learn and grow from your experiences, and free at any time to reclaim your self respect.

this is why ultimately women don't win and why they are the weaker of the species. while they can use p*ssy power to manipulate you, the moment you break free from that p*ssy power you are free to become a man again.

so when you do break up with a woman, don't see it as a bad thing (no matter how much of your life you shared with her, whether a month, a year or a decade) you must instead see it as your opportunity to return to a natural state of self respect - an opportunity to return to your journey of becoming the best man you can be.

 

[joekerr31]

oh and btw, women can also learn and grow from these experiences.

when a woman learns that p*ssy power is merely a manipulative tactic to acheive what she desires (ie. attention) and learns that p*ssy power only provides short term rewards, not long term rewards, she will start to develop her personality and learn to treat her man right.

some women never learn this and go their whole lives leveraging the p8ssy for attention tactic. drawing men in, sucking them dry for a year or two, then when their attention is no longer what it use to be, discarding them and starting all over with another man.

some women make a pit stop in this process and marry for 5-10 years and have kids and then jump back into the dynamic.

these women, while hurting the men they are with, are also hurting themselves. ultimately what they are seeking is attention. and yet they fail to recognize that they are in a dysfunctional patter of gaining attention (not for them, but because of their p*ssy) and losing it. they are in a constant pattern of gain and loss.

but the smart women, the mature women, the high quality women, realize that if they treat their man right his attention and loyalty will always remain high and they will have the attention they seek for the rest of their life.

the woman you were with was not such a woman. she is still stuck in p*ssy for attention trade off dynamic. and she will continue to repeat this cycle of gaining attention and then having the relationship implode until she realizes that the p*ssy for attention dynamic does not bring long term stability nor the attention she seeks.

 

[Mr. Me]

You've got to figure out your part in losing her interest. Sounds to me like you were too available ("she came to my house everyday. She always wanted to be with me") and the fact that you had few arguments and conflicts makes me wonder who started them, what they were about and how they were resolved, and were other matters repressed, dealt with passive aggressively, yadda, yadda... That's a lot of information that would tell us a lot of things about you and her.

>>I basically asked her what the problem was and if we should end the relationship.>>

When she backed off, you should've done the same. Asking what the problem is and so forth doesn't mean you'll get an honest answer. Asking if the relationship should be terminated is also weak. When she said she needed a "break", your reply ought to be, "Sure hon. Let's talk again in the year 2023. See ya then." No sense discussing ANYTHING, she's already gone, as you know, by the time she says that. It's fruitless.

You have to have your finger on the relationship pulse before that, not after it's dead. You have to be able to sense when her breathing has changed, her behavior around you has changed. When the winds have subtly shifted. That's the time to make corrections.

"She swore to god (she's Christian) that there was nobody else. "

That doesn't mean a thing. People use their religion as a convenient label and do what they wish anyway. They justify their actions through rationalizations and GFs who tell them it's okay.

>> I told her it wasn't working and it would be best if we ended it. She yelled that I wasn't giving it a chance >>

What she really meant was that she was not going to be dumped by you, but rather, the other way around. So she had to keep you reeled in, at least until this other guy was solidified, as you now realize.

>> I sent her the nastiest letter I could muster... She called crying, asking what the email was about. I gave her the chance to come clean. She didn't. >>

Of course not. She was trying to find out from you how much you may know about her doings, she didn't see it as her op "to come clean". She doesn't feel accountable to you. That's because she doesn't care anymore. Recall, she wants a "break".

>> She said they were nothing and they meant nothing. She argued that she did nothing wrong because she didn't even "meet" the guy yet! She tried make me into the bad person by sending a nasty email. It was unbelievable! >>

Of course! They tend to try to turn tables and make it look like your fault. They'll throw nonsense rationalizations your way ("How can it be wrong if we never met???" Gee, Timothy McVeigh blew up a building and killed 168 people, but how could it be wrong if he wasn't there and never met them??? Duh.). Her messages "mean nothing"? Then we're to think that what she told you means nothing too. She goes around telling people things she doesn't mean???? What bull.

But you shouldn't have sent her a nasty email. It just gives her, as you saw, more fuel for her rationalizing why she's right in not seeing you anymore. Don't fuel her fire.

Sorry you're going through this. I know how it feels. She doesn't have integrity, good thing you found out now and are getting out without having kids together or any other ties to her. Learn that you need to not make the same relationship errors next time, never take a woman for granted and heed your gut.

 

[joekerr31]

oh one other thing. you THINK that you know about all her indescretions now. but i'll tell you what, you don't.

while you caught her on myspace, id be willing to bet she's flirting with guys in real life as well.

when a woman starts looking to branch swing she's looking for branches across the board, not just on myspace. so while you've caught her in one lie, you can bet there are another 5 lies you don't even know about yet.

and i agree with the above poster that her statements on god mean nothing. if she was truly religious would she be cheating on her LTR? would God approve of such behavior?

and as for her crying... women and crying means nothing. women can scream and yell and cry and throw tantrums at the drop of a hat. its all big act. and its designed to make you feel guilty about accusing her and to also set you up for when she pulls out the 'this is really all your fault!" card.

 

[Interceptor]

newstart,
you're feeling this way becasue you feel rejected as a Man and lover, and Partner.
Also, understand that yiou are not perfect, the Ultimate Seducer and are a normal guy, just like MOST guys.
And you may be holding yourself to a high standard that perhaps, as it is right now, you can't really meet. That of, being a Man that is ALWAYS perfectly attracting her and keeping her interested and in high Buying temperature, etc.
It is also true that you feel a huge LOSS.
This loss is primarlily your EGO loss though.
Not self esteem. You are still a Man, you still have some direction and you still have plenty of 'fight' in you. She cannot simply remove that from you.

She did harm your ego.

But you know what, dude?

It happens.
Why?
Because if we are truly evolved, masculine men, whom are thoughtful and caring, and sensitive, and want to Love and be in love, we will bond and love our Women. We will make that emotional attachment and emotonal investment.
because that's what we do.
If you're in love, and want to truly be with her exclusively, and bond with her, how can you not?

So thereis a feeling of LOSS of your 'emotional investment."
You feel you made a mistake, and now you're kicking yourself. And it is ok.
That is OK.

But as I said, you are feeling a little too responsible for her actions.
Don't be. She is an adult and she's smart enough to know wht she did.

Yes, she was at the very least, emotionally cheating on you.
She was giving her Intimacy AWAY to a man other than her partner.

This is not right.
this shows this female does not have the mature development of a Lady, to truly be understanding and compassionate, if her needs were not being met, and as Men, we must recognize that this COULD very well happen to us, then she, as a Lady, will com eto you about it.
Not be cowardly and go branch swing and testing the waters with another man.

Either you fix it, or end it. You don't go around testing the waters.

At the end of the day, she had low character, and is not as much of a 'catch' as you thought she was.
And now, because you made such a huge and such a long term investemt, you feel that you are LOSING something valueable.

But you are NOT.

Youare NOT 'losing" ANYTHING Valueable.


What are you losing then?

Pieces of your Ego and your Pride and a 'fake' Personal Boundary enclosure.
Sure, together, you 'pooled' your resources. But, understanding just WHAT exactly you were pooling, which was not worth that much at all, must make you realize something.

You simply made a bad investement. A bad assessment. It is hard to face it, but at the end of the day, it was simply a bad assessment on your part.
It as like thinking you found a real diamond, but it was fake. Or gold, simply gold plating, not depth.


And yes, it 'cost' some things, like money, Love, affection, and time.

But all these are resources that are awlays available to you. The only thing that stops you from looking at it that way, is YOU.
If you look at the world wih abundance mentality, you will soon realize how beating yoursel fup after 'loss' is a mistake. And you can recoup all that you have 'lost' again.
You eventualy became too dependent on her for validation and emotional intimacy and satisfaction.
This is where you went wrong as well.
Not that it is wrong to want love, intimacy, an dcompanionship an dsupport from your exclusive partner, but when you depend on it a little too much, and take it for granted, and not as a gift, you begin to lose perspective.
This why it is so imiprtant to live your Life on accomplishing your Mission. And maintin ALL your interests , pursuits and hobbies and get enjoyment, self esteem, and validation and accomplishment from those things as much as you can.
So you won't put as much responsibility on her to fulfill your needs.

Your 'world' must be in place BEFORE, DURING, and AFTER a relationship.

IF it is not, then you risk losing perspective and shifting your focus.A lot of guys are extremley desperate and lonely, and they may get 'lucky' and find a woman to be their GF, but these men do so without properly assessing their emotional strength and emotionl resources. So they eventually become too dependent on the woman.
Since they get involved before being properly prepared, they may end up with a woman whom is truly NOT SUITABLE for them.
And then when the inevitable happens, they realzie what a mistake they have made.

This is why people can be so fearful of getting involved and making that emotional investment.

"All this time money and resources WASTED" they feel. So a lot of people AVOID emotional intimacy and being 'vulnerable" .
But all that is actually a LACK of enough ,and understanding of, Emotional Resources and Strength, and good Personal Boundary really.


But it is important to look at this as a learning expereince.Anduse that knowledge to improve and gain beter perspective. and make your life as fulfilling as possible without the need for a woman.




You are losing things that are like pieces of junk, garbage, useless, and simply not worth your time and thought, and effort.
(but there are some things of value, but you must know how to look for it)

You don't believe me right now though.

Because 'you know what you feel."

BUT, my friend...you feel that way because of your mindset. One that was fooled into thinking you were building Self Esteem, when in fact youwere working with Ego and Pride, and her Resources, which are not worth much at all at the end of the day.


Look back at this and instead of looking at it asa LOSS, look at it as A GAIN.

A GAINING of KNOWLEDGE and ENLIGHTENMENT.

Otherwise, you are simply reveling in your own misery and wallowing in Self Pity.


take your time.
No one is perfect.

You are not a lesser human being.
But be smart enough to gain something back from your investement.

 

[newstart]

Thanks for all of the replies.

About the communication: I'll admit, I'm not the best communicator under normal circumstances. She started to feel as though I was loosing interest in her so she began preparing herself for this over the past couple of months. That's another thing that pisses me off. When times are serious, I try to get to the bottom of it(in any situation). I turn into someone that is quite open and honest. She never did. She was a worse communicator than I was. When times were serious she would clam up. I've always told her to be absolutely open with me. She held it in until she wanted out of the relationship. I guess I tried to apply man's logic to a female mind.

I realize I did stupid things during the "break." I knew it as I did it. I knew I was being a chump. I felt like an ass. I let the situation cloud my mind. I was an idiot. I'm shamed to write this, but I thought she was different. I turned into a mindless jackass and I was aware of everything I was doing. I tried to take my feelings out of the equation and be rational, but I couldn't hold it long enough to make any smart decisions.

joekerr31 hit the nail on head. Part of my fear is being alone. I've been comfortable for four years. I was generally happy. Now I have to start over.

I appreciate the replies. It's helping me see things a little more clearly.

 

[Señor Fingers]

That's another thing that pisses me off. When times are serious, I try to get to the bottom of it(in any situation). I turn into someone that is quite open and honest.

I used to be the same way. If I'm not mistaken, the precise moment when you communicate your best is when it's already too late. It's pure desperation because subconsciously you know all is lost.

That's something you need to work on. And its not something that's limited to romantic relationships. You need expressive people around you to serve as an example. All your relationships are like plants and communication is the water that keeps them alive.

She never did. She was a worse communicator than I was. When times were serious she would clam up. I've always told her to be absolutely open with me.

Maybe she was worse, but this is bit hypocritical. How can to ask her to do something of which you were not capable of all this time?

She held it in until she wanted out of the relationship. I guess I tried to apply man's logic to a female mind.

No, you just fell into the same trap most of us have.. you didn't keep the romance kicking and she lost interest.

I'm shamed to write this, but I thought she was different.

She didn't change a lick.. you just didn't know her that well.. tying back to the communication issue.

Your mission for the next couple of months is to work on your gift of gab. Open up that shell of yours and learn to let the right people in... hand in hand with this lesson is learning to observe folks to see what stuff they are made of. You can't let just anyone get that close.

You also need time to lick your wounds and rethink your game. No rebounds for you! Take this time to face and explore your own emptiness, it's vital to your development.

Forget about chicks for a minute and think about what you are doing with your life and how you maintain your relationships.

Trust me, time will pass and the hurt will vanish. Use this moment to your advantage!

 

[STR8UP]

Ooooh....this post gets my blood boiling. This is the EPITOME of everything that is wrong with women's behavior at the end of a relationship. Lying, cheating, manipulating, then blaming YOU.

I will be back to this thread when i get time.

 

[newstart]

I've been reading a lot of old posts here and something has really struck me. It seems to be a general rule that women that have had a bad upbringing are almost never going to be good for a ltr.

Well, my ex's father was killed over drugs when she was a baby. Her mother had her at 17, and always resented her for "taking away her childhood." Her mother married a man that was physically and emotionally abusive to my ex throughout her childhood. And she got into drugs when she moved out of her house.

I never should have stopped reading these forums. There is so much that my clouded brain kept from me.

 

[STR8UP]

I've been reading a lot of old posts here and something has really struck me. It seems to be a general rule that women that have had a bad upbringing are almost never going to be good for a ltr.

Well, my ex's father was killed over drugs when she was a baby. Her mother had her at 17, and always resented her for "taking away her childhood." Her mother married a man that was physically and emotionally abusive to my ex throughout her childhood. And she got into drugs when she moved out of her house.

This has nothing to do with the reason why she basically cheated on you.

This is nothing more than typical female branch swinging behavior.

Something caused her to lose interest in you, and despite the advice of others I would recommend you NOT dwell on what you might have done wrong, because in the end it might not have had anything to do with you. Of course you need to constantly strive to improve yourself as a man and stick to the "rules", but ultimately you will never know why this happened.

The reason this post is so interesting to me is that it hits so close to home. It has happened to me in my AFC days, and it has even happened as recently as a few years ago.

But it never fails to piss me off just how selfish women can be in this regard. They will sit there and swear up and down that they aren't doing anything wrong, and they are VERY convincing because they rationalize everything which causes them to believe their own bullsh!t!

My last LTR did the exact same thing. She fabricated stories of having been in the hospital to explain her whereabouts, but she couldn't tell me WHY. The topper was her cell phone bill forgery. Had I not already obtained a copy of her bill, I would have taken it as proof that she was telling the truth. She ACTUALLY went so far as to FORGE HER CELL PHONE BILL! Can you believe that????

 

[iqqi]

Lol, this sounds like how my past relationship ended.

It sounds obvious that she was more than friendly with the guy on myspace. She also hid it from you. TO me, that is close enough to cheating. It is a betrayal.

How do you think you look to the guy she was talking to? She disrespected you and your relationship.

She did the right thing when she said she wanted space, you did the right thing when you said "lets just end it", she made it wrong when she strung you along - the whole time getting closer and closer to this net dude.

Where do YOU draw the line?

So what if she "didn't even meet the guy yet". It isn't about what SHE thinks is ok at this point. What is ok with YOU? When would you draw the line? Sounds to me like you drew it when the messages between the two went past friendly back and forth, and she gave him her #, and the messages got a little more than friendly. That is exactly when I would have a problem too.

She wanted you to be committed to her still, even though she was making herself available to others.

You did the right thing by ending the LTR.

 

[newstart]

She came over. I made it official. We're over.

It's amazing. She still said she did nothing wrong. She said we were on a "break," so we were not a couple, even though we were "working" on our problems. She still tried to make me out to be the bad person for writing the nasty email. It's really fvcking amazing.

 

[iqqi]

She came over. I made it official. We're over.

It's amazing. She still said she did nothing wrong. She said we were on a "break," so we were not a couple, even though we were "working" on our problems. She still tried to make me out to be the bad person for writing the nasty email. It's really fvcking amazing.

Most people in the wrong will shift the blame. Her moral decision to string you on like that, while she invested elsewhere, tell me that she is not morally strong enough to take responsibility for her actions.

But she was definately wrong in this situation. If she was truly working on your relationship, she shouldn't have been working on another.

She should have just let you go when you tried to end it right.

 

[aliasguy]

Most people in the wrong will shift the blame. Her moral decision to string you on like that, while she invested elsewhere, tell me that she is not morally strong enough to take responsibility for her actions.

But she was definately wrong in this situation. If she was truly working on your relationship, she shouldn't have been working on another.

She should have just let you go when you tried to end it right.

Yep, she should have. But they rarely do.

We even have a term for it here: "branch swinging."

There's nothing new under the sun.

 

[newstart]

How old is she?

She's 31

 

[Latinoman]

Edit: This was meant for the "mature" section. I didn't know you had to put your age in the post or it would get moved here. Anyway, I'm 27.

Hi guys,

I need to vent. I know what I have to do, and I'm going to do it, but it's difficult. I've done a search and read a lot of similar posts, but I just need to type this out. If you've been through this before, I'd be happy to hear your story.

I was a member here years and years ago(6-7 years ago, I think). I was a pure AFC and learned everything I could. I started feeling good about myself and meeting women. I went out with a woman and we really hit it off. We got along so good we've been together for four years with very little arguing or conflict. That changed.

Now here's where it's going to sound familiar to everyone here. I saw everything clearly as it happened, but I allowed myself to become a sucker. She started getting distant. Before this, she came to my house everyday. She always wanted to be with me. That stopped overnight. So, I basically asked her what the problem was and if we should end the relationship. She said she wanted to take a "break." Yes, yes, I know. That means it's over. I allowed my feelings to blind my gut and my mind, though. I gave her space. We went through the whole conversation before hand. She swore to god(she's Christian) that there was nobody else. I believed her. She swore she loved me and wanted it to work, etc. I believed her. But my gut pestered me the whole time. It made me miserable. It knew the truth and it was going to make me feel like sh*t until my I opened my eyes.

I had enough and called her. I told her it wasn't working and it would be best if we ended it. She yelled that I wasn't giving it a chance: "You're just giving up!" I thought she really wanted it to work, so I allowed the sham to continue. We spent a couple evenings together and things seemed good.

My gut wouldn't give me peace, though. It made me feel worse than I have ever felt before. I had to satisfy my curiosity. It was driving me crazy. I didn't want to spy, and I felt like a piece of trash even thinking about it; but I had to. I had to find out.

I set up her myspace for her a year ago. I showed her how to do everything and she told me the password she wanted to use. I couldn't resist myself when the possibility of truth was a few clicks away. I tried to log on to her page. She changed the password. Now I knew I had to see it. It didn't take me long to discover her new password. I looked at her inbox. For the past couple of weeks she has been talking to some guy. I read the messages in an indescribable state of mind. Even with all the signs, I was in shock. While I was absolutely miserable, probably growing a damn ulcer, she was making sweet talk with another man! It was normal get-to-know-you emailing at first. Then she sent him her number. She strung me along like a damned puppy dog. She wanted to keep me around as a backup plan.

I learned all of this last night. She was at work, so I knew she'd check her email. I sent her the nastiest letter I could muster. It was really, really bad and hateful. I attacked her moral character and called her a terrible human being. Honestly, I feel bad for being so mean, as it's not in my character, but I had to attack somehow.

She called crying, asking what the email was about. I gave her the chance to come clean. She didn't. I had to tell her about the emails. She said they were nothing and they meant nothing. She argued that she did nothing wrong because she didn't even "meet" the guy yet! She tried make me into the bad person by sending a nasty email. It was unbelievable! It was late and I got off the phone. We are going to talk tonight and it's over. She lost my trust and respect.

There are more little things, but I tried to keep it somewhat brief. I still have a hard time believing she did this to me. I have flaws, I admit. I unintentionally pushed her away. I take some of the blame for our relationship troubles, but what she did is inexcusable. As far as I'm concerned she cheated on me. She was unfaithful. I won't let someone do that to me.

So that's it. That's my story. It sounds exactly like the stories of so many other men, and I feel like a damn fool that it happened to me.

Copy this and re-create the thread in the Mature Forum.

And add your age in your profile.

 

[Latinoman]

By the way...two things that would DISQUALIFY a woman in the spot from LTR consideration is

1- If she is into the MySpace or any other Internet Social Network

and

2- She is into ON-LINE dating.

I rather be involved with women that can be happy by doing things other than the Internet.