Elminated my Desire !?

[Challenger]

The main thesis here seems to be that missing confidence and fear are the reason for not approaching.

But I have found out that (for me) another reason does play a more important role:

I have no desire in approaching chicks in a particular moment

I see an attractive woman and I think: "oh, really nice but, oh dear I have no interest in talking to her or make an afford to get to know her"

I also I think that the internalization of the "eliminate your desires" thing , apart from all the positive things, could be an effect of this forum.
But I am not sure of this.

So can I get my desire back without getting an AFC again ?

 

[Umbra]

I think there are several things going on here:

#1) You SHOULDN'T desire to approach girls ALL the time. When I'm out playing pool with the boys, I really don't give a **** about women. When I'm taking a crap, the last thing on my mind is women (unless I'm reading Maxim or something). When I'm talking to my mother or driving or sailing, I don't think of women at all.

#2) Make sure you understand the teachings of "Tao of Steve" before trying to incorporate them into your life. If you NEVER feel like approaching women, there is something wrong. That's not what "eliminate your desire" means. Basically, it means that you desire a woman, but you control that desire, the desire doesn't control you.

#3) Desire has nothing to do with being an AFC or a "Stu." Every man has desire. You SHOULD have desire for an attractive woman. Just be its master. If you don't feel motivated to approach women, you've become jaded. You feel it's more effort than it's worth. You have to overcome that. You have to look at each opportunity with excitement, as an adventure.

#4) Be careful about what you read on this forum. A lot of the viewpoints are jaded, and many of the experienced DJs don't post here often any more. They are out scoring with women. In fact, about half of the people giving you advice here are still virgins (http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=28297). Not that there is anything wrong with being a virgin, guys.

 

[Quick]

You already have the desire to meet girls, or you wouldn't be asking about it. You obviously want something from women, whether it's sex or a relationship. It sounds like what you don't want is the effort you have to expend to get sex or a relationship from a particular girl.

If you really have lost all desire for women, then you're fine. Getting with women is a difficult process that's not worth the trouble if you have no need for it. If however, you do want something like sex, focus on that when you're approaching her. If your desire for sex outweighs your desire to not approach, you'll work this problem of yours out.

 

[icepick]

You should have desire to know her (or ANYONE ELSE for that matter) as a person.

Being social is having the desire to know people, to interact with people. Approach everyone.

Get yourself into a mindset that you WANT to know other human beings.

 

[Starman]

the day you eliminate hunger and thirst is the day you can eliminate desire.

 

[Challenger]

thank you for your responses.

I think I need to read some posts/texts where it's described or explained how you actually can have fun in approaching chicks and grow in these situations.

Does anythink like this exist here ?

 

[tracy Jaks]

You dont eliminate the desire to talk to the girls, you eliminate the signals towards her that show you want sex from her.

You missed the point. Have you seen the film "Tao of Steve" if yo havent i suggest you what most of it because in there is everythig you need to know.