Dumped lastnite but ex is txting me WTF

[bunjy]

So basically I got dumped (over the phone) in a really disrespectful way by my gf of 3 months lastnite. I dont know why as she didnt really make it clear and just pretty much went crazy on me and said all sorts of angry nonsense accusing me of 'taking advantage of her' and using her and playing mind games. It was all total BS so I told her to quit the BS cos shes knows none of its true. In short it sounded like she had gona abit crazy and lost the plot and none of what she was saying as reasons for dumping me actually made any sort of coherent sense. It didnt seem like she had really thought about or indeed knew what she was doing, she really did sound crazy. Then she started telling me how she needs a break but she wants to see me again in 4 days. She didnt really give me a reason and didnt actually say its over, I was the one who told her I dont wanna carry on cos its clearly not working.

I went out and got drunk after this (bad idea I know) and ended up txting her lastnite saying all sorts of crap about how Ill always love her and that I said some things I didnt mean earlier (id been quite nasty to her when she pulled all the BS). I know this was a stupid move and should have know better.

Wake up this morning and she'd txted me saying she has 'serious problems with herself' and that her life is ****ed and that shes 'not right at all at the moment'. and that she hopes we can be friends. I told her I dont want to be friends with her and that if she sorts her head out to give me a call sometime (she knows I dont see the point of staying friends aswell as during our relationship I told her how I never stayed friends with exes). Shes maintained friendship with her exes and im sure she likes the attention she still gets from them.

This afternoon she txts me saying how she loves me and I make her happy but that shes just tired and needs rest. I (stupidly) txt her back saying 'stop feeling sorry for yourself and moaning about nothing. You need to chill out'.

Now 4 hours later she just txt me saying 'How are you doing?'.

WTF is this all about? Ive told her im not interested in being friends and have decided im gonna go No Contact with her from now on. Why do you guys think she is still txting me?? Guilt?? Or is she testing me in someway?? Is NC the way to go?? Should I respond to her 'how are you txt'??

TBH shes abit of a drama queen and has proven by her actions lastnite that shes not a very stable person. I know its pointless trying to work out what happend (this came totally our of the blue, when I told my friends today they both said that she seemed smitten with me even 3 days ago) but I figure I have been too much of a 'nice guy' and have let her have her own way abit too much. Yeah Ive teased her and broke her back at times but generally Id definetly become abit complacent/too available and it felt like I was the one doing all the work/running.

I dont even think I want her back as shes disrespected me and behaved like a bit of a lunatic. Wouldnt mind banging her again though and TBH the whole thing was abit weird for a 'dump' and it didnt feel like she completely meant it or knew what she was doing. I suspect shes trying to pull some BS game on me and seeing how I'll react.

 

[maqnetik]

she didnt get the REACTION she wanted

 

[bunjy]

she didnt get the REACTION she wanted

What would that reaction be then?? For me to pour my heart out telling her how I cant live without her and need her?

To be honest I was rather calm in the whole situation. Sure I txted her loads of **** when drunk but it wasnt anything to heavy beyond I love you and will miss you. I did txt her about 5 times lastnite though but a lot of it wa negative stuff like 'Your clearly not interested and I know I can do better'.

Where do I go from here though?? Shes already txting me a fair bit today and has changed her tone from 'can we be friends' to 'hey how are you?'. Its weird.

As it stands im ignoring her but dont know if maybe I should txt her if she continues to contact me. I dunno NC seems pointless if shes still actually contacting me.

 

[Strelok]

Maqnetik is right,she is just like a computer showing a blue screen,an unplanned process happened and the project from her was to get some kind of satisfaction from your reaction.
She probably expect you to chase her and turn afc to allow her to reject you again and pump her ego.

Btw if you can bang her do it,you ain't going to get anything from her but let her taste her own medicine and maybe she won't be a b1tch to the next guy,they have to be educated like little girls cause they weren't in the right time.

 

[Razor Sharp]

Cut her off - she has already warned you what a psycho she is and you will just end up kicking yourself later on for not heeding the signs.

If you were able to be detached enough then I'd say you should keep hitting it, but you obviously have feelings involved if you're doing textbook chump sh*t like drunk SMSing.

Dust your game off and start talking to other women. Walk away and do not look back. Recognize these little insanity signals and chalk it up to experience. You are now better equipped to filter and qualify the next one.

And stop telling psycho chicks that disrespect you that you love them - its a really stupid thing to reward bad behavior.

For that matter stop telling GFs of only three months that you love them. Do not confuse infatuation and good sex with love. Love is built on a foundation of trust and 3 months is not enough time for her to prove she is worthy of that.

Time to raise the bar homey.

 

[bunjy]

Cut her off - she has already warned you what a psycho she is and you will just end up kicking yourself later on for not heeding the signs.

Yes thats pretty much what im thinking. Shes definetely not right in the head and is much more unstable than any other gf's Ive had in the past. She has some serious issues.

If you were able to be detached enough then I'd say you should keep hitting it, but you obviously have feelings involved if you're doing textbook chump sh*t like drunk SMSing.

Yes lastnite I was an idiot and I guess I do still have feelings but as the reality of the situation is setting in im more and more starting to think shes a weirdo and best kept away from. However maybe a quick bang or two wouldnt do any harm. Im confident Im to scared by her actions and weird behaviour now to want to have anything to do with her other than a bang.

Dust your game off and start talking to other women. Walk away and do not look back. Recognize these little insanity signals and chalk it up to experience. You are now better equipped to filter and qualify the next one.

TBH im abit dissapointed in myself because I did notice the signals (e.g she gets very overly emotional and finds some things hard to talk about) but I chose to ignore them because she was hot. Now I know to run like the wind when even a hint of possible insanity becomes apparent with a chick.

 

[Zodiac]

Why are you responding to her period? Even making negative comments to her are giving her a reaction. Stop all contact meaning don't even respond negatively.

 

[jophil28]

Yes thats pretty much what im thinking. Shes definetely not right in the head and is much more unstable than any other gf's Ive had in the past. She has some serious issues.

You need to know this before you take another step - The person with the most severe pathology will ultimately control an intimate relationship.

Bail now while you can.

Take it from me, if you get back together after this craziness from her, you are essentially telling her that you will tolerate and accept her faked up dramatics and her outbursts. You will soon find yourself on the receiving end of more of the same loonie styte.

Many women, of all ages, are unfit for adult intimate relationships - they have all the physical attributes of adult women, but they lack the emotional and mental stability to sustain an LTR -you have been dating one of them.

 

[horaholic]

I (stupidly) txt her back saying 'stop feeling sorry for yourself and moaning about nothing. You need to chill out'.

That was NOT a stupid text. It was the truth, and made her see you as more of a man. That was the smartest thing about your interaction with her. Men need say more stuff like that. you passed a shyttest with that one, believe it or not.

 

[f283000]

If a woman dumps you and in a horrible way and makes contact with you again soon after it's only for 1 reason

she wants you to be her new emotional tampon/obiter/girlfriend/ego & attention booster.

Fellas will continue to fall for the trap and keep replying to their mind games till the end of time.

Specially when they can't decipher simple woman-ese that females will hit them with after the breakup, like the classics "I needed some space," "I still love you," "i'm thinking about you." Wicked/evil stuff that is only said to basically hurt you.

"she txts me saying how she loves me and I make her happy but that shes just tired and needs rest."

tired and needs rest = is tired and needs some rest FROM YOU.

You been here since 2003 and couldn't figure out her bs messages to you? Seriously....

 

[maqnetik]

Why are you responding to her period? Even making negative comments to her are giving her a reaction. Stop all contact meaning don't even respond negatively.

exactly

 

[bunjy]

"she txts me saying how she loves me and I make her happy but that shes just tired and needs rest."

tired and needs rest = is tired and needs some rest FROM YOU.

You been here since 2003 and couldn't figure out her bs messages to you? Seriously....

Yeah Im aware thats what it meant, it seems like she did indeed mean to dump me and just went about it in the wrong way (e.g. went crazy).

Anyway Ive not responded to her txts or contacted her at all. Shes txt me today saying she 'hopes to see me soon' and then a few hours later she tried ringing me twice.

I didnt answer and have not responded to her at all.

Everything you guys are saying makes complete sense.

 

[wasted-nick]

Listen to Jophil. It sounds like your first bpd... awe...

 

[catman]

Listen to Jophil. It sounds like your first bpd... awe...

AWW I remember my first one too Wait she just sent me another text saying shes missing me again Run fast for she sucks you back in!!!!!!!

 

[bunjy]

Ok so Im an idiot and Ive been speaking to her on the phone and responding to her txts. Shes still holding the line that she doesnt want a relationship with me although her emotions are all over the place, we spoke for 20 mins lastnite and she was sobbing the whole time. I remained cool and calm. Shes definetly not right in the head. She was telling me how she doesnt want any sort of relationship with anyone at all and that shes not ready to be in a serious relationship as her heads a mess. She also told me that shes not interested in any other man.

I went out lastnite for my friends birthday and got drunk and sent her a few messages along the lines of 'I still really like you and miss you' etc etc and other such AFC crap (I really should leave my phone at home when out drinking). Yes when I was out I was talking to other women but I found myself disinterested in them as I couldnt get my ex out of my mind. Im afraid the sad truth is that Ive got pretty strong feelings for her and Im finding it hard to let go. When I look back on how Ive been with her I fear I was making every AFC mistake in the book I came across as needy/insecure and clingy and maybe to some extent abit desperate for it to work. Its no wonder shes dumped me because I think to some extent I was suffocating her. She even told me she thinks im a 'nice guy'. Sure I was a bit of a jerk to her at times, I didnt worship her and teased her a fair bit. I think the problem was because of my own need for a relationship to work. I get girls, Ive had no problem getting girls ever but now im 28 and getting sick of the same old game and just wanted a chick to settle down with. Still though, shes cleary got serious issues and I doubt the way I behaved with her would of made any difference. As someone posted above, this girls not fit for an adult relationship.

Shes told me she wants to meet next week, I told her im not interested in being friends as Im physically attracted to her and would want to be affectionate towards her (sad I know but its the truth) and she told me that it would be fine to kiss, hug, have sex.

Now heres the problem, Im obviously to attached to her to be dealing with meeting her. However Id love to bang her again.


Shes leaving the country in a week for six months, she will be out of my life by then and theres a good chance I may never see her again anyway (she mite not even come back to the city I live in when she returns) so I figure I should just try and get some sex off her before she goes. Yes im attached to her and it would probably be a bad idea to bang her again but on the other hand come 8 days she will be gone from my life whether I want her to or not and im confident when shes not around I'll find it much easier to move on. Im not going to let her get me into a situation where shes my gf again and whilst im at home thinking its all good shes off in another country getting tapped by everything with a d*ck.

A part of me still thinks theres still something there between us though and that all the **** shes going through at the moment (shes having a very bad time at home and work) hasnt helped and with me being abit needy ontop its led to our relationship ending. I think if she wasnt leaving we'd probably just cool it off for abit and see what happens. I dunno maybe Im just kidding myself and the bottom line is that she doesnt want a relationship with me because shes just not into me anymore.

Her behaviour does seem like shes still interested though and its confusing the f**k outta me. On the one hand she seems to be acting like she wants to be with me (I suppose if I do meet her I will be able to tell from her body language and behaviour if she does still like me) but on the other hand shes not said anything about wanting to get back together and hasnt said usual 'Ive made a mistake please take me back' etc.

What you guys think? Meet her and see what happens or just forget about her??

 

[bunjy]

Any help on this one guys? My heads all over the place and could do with some clarity

 

[Paintballguy]

Any help on this one guys? My heads all over the place and could do with some clarity

stop talking to her dude. its only making it worse

 

[Alien]

She is leaving... so your "relationship" comes to an end no matter what. End it in an honest way. Tell her how you feel about her, tell her what you told us. Tell her that the sex was great, but she is a drama queen and that sucks ...so bye-bye, maybe you will be good friends one day.("she told me that it would be fine to kiss, hug, have sex." = to have sex with feelings) ...after you have banged her, of course.

 

[horaholic]

If she's about to leave for six months, you can bang her without stress. Make her your personal hor for the next week, then she's GONE. No problem!

 

[Kailex]

Shes definetely not right in the head and is much more unstable than any other gf's Ive had in the past. She has some serious issues.

Now heres the problem, Im obviously to attached to her to be dealing with meeting her. However Id love to bang her again.

Ok so Im an idiot

Read what I quoted in that sequence and specific order and you will realize that you are 100%, absolutely right about your final assessment. You are... (Maury Povich pause)...an idiot.


You have been warned about this girl before.
This is all on YOU. Not her. Realize that.