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Dumped at Christmas

Miles28

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There isn't really a point or question to this post. Just feeling a bit shell-shocked so wanted to get something down I guess.

I've been seeing a girl for the last year. The situation was complicated by the fact that when we got involved she had a boyfriend. Actually, and I know I'm going to get flamed massively for this, she didn't properly break up with him until about a month ago.

Until she broke up with him I had managed to keep my feelings in check and was seeing other women too. However after the split I let my guard down and started to really care about her.

I guess the relationship was doomed to disaster from the start. First, because she was cheating on her boyfriend and later on because, even though they had split, she still really missed him and wasn't over him at all.

The only thing I'll say in my defence was that when I got involved with her I thought her relationship was on the rocks and would be over soon irrespective of my involvement.

We were supposed to spend Xmas day together and instead she pulls this s*it. Still, I'm more hurt than angry. This was eminently foreseeable so I can't say I'm blameless in the situation. Her boyfriend doesn't know about me, I feel sorry for the guy to be honest. He's probably going to get married to this woman and some days she will kiss their kids goodnight with the same mouth that was regularly sucking some other guy's c*ck while she was still with her now husband.

A bitter thought I know but I'm not feeling too imbued with the Christmas spirit today.
 

Boilermaker

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Try to stay positive friend ...

Women are not accountable for any of the sh!t they do. and you can't pull a chair and talk about it rationally, with a woman.

I'd try to see this heartbreaking drama as an opportunity to move forward as a man ... , always remembering to keep my self-respect at agreeable levels in my future encounters with women.

Sorry for what happened, and you seem to have a good sense of awareness of all this, so I don't think you need advice.
 

Miles28

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Thanks man, I appreciate the reply.

Worst thing is being on the other side of the world from home, no family here and any friends have all gone home for the hols.

Worst... Christmas... Ever!
 

thegenerousjew

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Dude turn it around! :) No point going out, just load up on junk food, weed & booze and play video games and watch movies till you pass out. Or go out and party with strangers, just don't get mugged :) Make some great plans for NYE & keep on rolling!

I thought I going to be married this year. Guess what? Didn't happen! Now I know I dodged a bullet.

Remember, Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience.
 

foomee

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Miles28 said:
Thanks man, I appreciate the reply.

Worst thing is being on the other side of the world from home, no family here and any friends have all gone home for the hols.

Worst... Christmas... Ever!

I'm also having a ****ty Christmas. Christmas Eve I had plans to go to this nice ass dinner buffet with Turkey and everything (I'm in China right now, so Turkey is somewhat a delicacy) with this girl, who has a bf, but Thursday night they had a fight because she was going with me so she ended up canceling her plans with me and went to visit him Christmas Eve too. On the plus side I saved a ton of money since dinner included a show and it was very expensive. This is the first time I've been interested in a girl with a boyfriend and now I know not to make that mistake again. I ended up making other plans with some guys and wen tout to a nice Christmas Eve dinner, which was pretty fun and good, but I still miss that girl.
So I'm stuck on Christmas with nobody, except my ex from last year who's incredibly hot but a bit of an attention *****. We're going to dinner tonight (turkey) but I wish I had gone with that girl with the bf. After dinner we're going out to a bar together, hopefully I find someone tonight, or I'm stuck with my ex, whom is a great lay but I'm not interested in.
And yes, I'm living and working in China now and my family is all the way in the United States so I'm also a little lonely today. Don't worry, Christmas is just another day. There are 365 days in the year, there will be other Christmases so just keep your head up. Maybe you can look at it as a day to relax and do something for yourself. Buy yourself a nice gift.
 

Bluntmaster

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foomee said:
I'm also having a ****ty Christmas. Christmas Eve I had plans to go to this nice ass dinner buffet with Turkey and everything (I'm in China right now, so Turkey is somewhat a delicacy) with this girl, who has a bf, but Thursday night they had a fight because she was going with me so she ended up canceling her plans with me and went to visit him Christmas Eve too. On the plus side I saved a ton of money since dinner included a show and it was very expensive. This is the first time I've been interested in a girl with a boyfriend and now I know not to make that mistake again. I ended up making other plans with some guys and wen tout to a nice Christmas Eve dinner, which was pretty fun and good, but I still miss that girl.
So I'm stuck on Christmas with nobody, except my ex from last year who's incredibly hot but a bit of an attention *****. We're going to dinner tonight (turkey) but I wish I had gone with that girl with the bf. After dinner we're going out to a bar together, hopefully I find someone tonight, or I'm stuck with my ex, whom is a great lay but I'm not interested in.
And yes, I'm living and working in China now and my family is all the way in the United States so I'm also a little lonely today. Don't worry, Christmas is just another day. There are 365 days in the year, there will be other Christmases so just keep your head up. Maybe you can look at it as a day to relax and do something for yourself. Buy yourself a nice gift.

Poor you. You have an ex who is a bad lay and you are not interested in her.

At least you have p/ssy on Christmas.
 

Miles28

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Bluntmaster, lol!

Not to be unsympathetic Foomee but was just thinking the same thing - you have some incredibly hot girl you can sleep with if you want to! And you're going to get Turkey! Let's trade places.

I'm only kidding man, I do sympathise, it's just funny the way you wrote about the situation being bad and made it sound pretty cool.
 

jophil28

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Miles28 said:
We were supposed to spend Xmas day together and instead she pulls this s*it. Still, I'm more hurt than angry. This was eminently foreseeable so I can't say I'm blameless in the situation.
Shyte will always happen to you when you ignore the reality of a situation that is laid out in front of you and substitute wishful thinking for good decision making.
A " love triangle " will usually become a noose for the third player.

Make this mistake once, and once only.
 

Bluntmaster

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Miles28 said:
Bluntmaster, lol!

Not to be unsympathetic Foomee but was just thinking the same thing - you have some incredibly hot girl you can sleep with if you want to! And you're going to get Turkey! Let's trade places.

I'm only kidding man, I do sympathise, it's just funny the way you wrote about the situation being bad and made it sound pretty cool.

Yeah, screw Foamee seriously. The dude has a hot ex who wants his d!ck but he is not happy because some slut he wishes he had doesn't want him.
 

st_99

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jophil28 said:
Shyte will always happen to you when you ignore the reality of a situation that is laid out in front of you and substitute wishful thinking for good decision making.
A " love triangle " will usually become a noose for the third player.

Make this mistake once, and once only.
Yeah, this. Problem is sometimes it takes us a while to really get it in terms
of knowing what a f*cked up, high risk situation is right from the start.

The important thing is you now know, you have some experience and so
you can't use this excuse anymore.

I had some f*cked up sh!t go on recently also. I don't deserve it, but I learned some things and now have no excuse going forward.
 

Buddha_Mind

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Miles man, it's all good -- you learned from this and you didn't get too down the road with her. Think positive--you didn't impregnate her while she was with her bf, and you know now she can't be trusted to have a functional relationship with you. This means the future holds a better quality situation, and this woman likely will loop through the same ups and downs with this other guy.

One thing I have truly taken to heart in the last year -- girls with bf's will **** you around back and forth, it almost always ends in bummersville.
 

newbeginning

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You're not the only one dumped on christmas, brother. My fiance of 1.5 year decided that she had enough with my mother who lives with me and ended it. I am filled with sadness, disappointment, and anger all at the same time; i need to get laid.
 

Jitterbug

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Christmas to NYD seems to be a popular time for breakups, regardless of relationship situations.
 

Miles28

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Newbeginning,

I'm sorry to hear that man. Echo the sentiments about needing to get laid. Just too depressed and apathetic to even head out at the moment though.
 
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