drama queen mother/wife

[sexy_kuta]

how do you men deal with them? im talking about the mature ones.
The real extremists. I have a mother whos great but is very weak, emotionally,
and takes everything to another level. if theres a fight happening, she will take it ten levels up to get attention.

shes 50 now and has always been like this. I've come to the conclusion that she will not change. i've accepted that but wish to know how to deal with her behaviour! its driving me nuts! i cant even have an argument on a reasonable level because everything she says dont make sense to me.

at the end of the fight im always calmed down because im always confused on wtf shes sayin.

how do you guys deal with them/ what i been doing is not dealing with it at all. ignoring her reactiosn and outbursts. and walking away not giving her any attention. its working but its not the best thing to sleep on. u know?

 

[penkitten]

i'm no man... but i'd like to give you some input.
first off, you have no choice on who your mother is, but you CHOOSE your wife.
therefore, you should qualify the women you date before you decide to get married.

now your mother on the other hand, is never gonna change.
however, you can change how you deal with her.
when the drama starts flying and she starts saying the crazy things.... tell her you don't have time for the drama , that you love her and then walk away from the episode. remove yourself from the situation until she has had a chance to calm down.
another thing to try, is to simply take her mind off whatever it is by making her laugh.

 

[sexy_kuta]

i'm no man... but i'd like to give you some input.
first off, you have no choice on who your mother is, but you CHOOSE your wife.
therefore, you should qualify the women you date before you decide to get married.

now your mother on the other hand, is never gonna change.
however, you can change how you deal with her.
when the drama starts flying and she starts saying the crazy things.... tell her you don't have time for the drama , that you love her and then walk away from the episode. remove yourself from the situation until she has had a chance to calm down.
another thing to try, is to simply take her mind off whatever it is by making her laugh.

i've done that and done other things. but i need help dealing with it. its very uncomfortable for me to hear my mother put down my dad for every small thing that happens in the house. if i have a fight with her, she will bring my dad into the picture and blame him for having bad kids. It bugs me alot.

i know she wont wont change and arguing back to her is just making her worse and go deeper in her act.

i just need a new perspective on handling a situation like this.
i dont know how to look at it, i feel like after i've walked away its still on my mind.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Learn, and teach your dad the Meta Model. Kills manipulative behavior in a second. It will take some time before you know it well enough to use conversationally, but once you do, it will serve you for a lifetime.

http://www.nlpls.com/articles/metamodel/MetaModelFlashcards.php

 

[sexy_kuta]

thanks for the link but i dont think that is what im looking for.

 

[Trader]

Learn, and teach your dad the Meta Model. Kills manipulative behavior in a second. It will take some time before you know it well enough to use conversationally, but once you do, it will serve you for a lifetime.

http://www.nlpls.com/articles/metamodel/MetaModelFlashcards.php

This is a godsend

I keep getting into huge arguments with this *strong girl feminist* in my bible study group. And she keeps on trying to manipulate me cause I like the more feminine women, she says stuff like: 'You are never going to get a gf.' 'You must hate all women.'

Thanks for the link.

 

[sexy_kuta]

bump