dont you want somebody to love?

[cola]

Let's be frank and to the point. How many *****s can you seduce? don'tyou want to work 8 hrs come home to a hot meal and have your baby say im I'mso proud of you?
Don't you want somebody to kiss you and console you when your going through hard times or a loved one dies?
Let's face it.
This **** is redundant. How many girls does it take to fill this empty void inside?
How many girls from the club does it take? How many numbers. How many one night stands?
flame me all you want but this don juan **** gets old..
And I know some of you guys on here have trouble even getting a girls attention bur one day you'll feel like me and if you deny it your lying

"You can't seduce someone who's completely content with life"
- robert greene

Ain't that ironic...
Deuces
Flame away

 

[The Logical Player]

having someone to love (aka a committed girlfriend/fiance/wife) is only a positive IF she's the right girl

99% of westernized women are NOT the right girl, no matter what they want you to believe (aka she might show you love and affection, but then go out and make out with one of her guy friends "while drunk")

so on to your point........that empty feeling, trust me, i know exactly what it is!

But here is the funny thing, if you DO find a woman that loves you as much as you love her, and she is always there for you and always home cooking you a meal when you get back from work, and always ready to have sex before going to sleep at night, guess what happens??

after a while, you will WANT TO BE ALONE, you will want your space, you will think back to the time that you were "lonely" and say "wow i miss those times, it is soooo annoying always having this woman in my space. I love her, and shes great to me, but AAHHHHHH so damn annoying" - and that is what ends up happening to men who DO find a good girl to commit to

BEEN THERE, DONE THAT

 

[KontrollerX]

See the animal in his cage that you built,
Are you sure what side you're on?
Better not look him too closely in the eye,
Are you sure what side of the glass you are on?
See the safety of the life you have built,
Everything where it belongs
Feel the hollowness inside of your heart,
And it's all... right where it belongs

What if everything around you,
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you think you know,
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection,
Is it all you want it to be?
What if you could look right through the cracks,
Would you find yourself... find yourself afraid to see?

What if all the world's inside of your head?
Just creations of your own
Your devils and your gods all the living and the dead
And you're really all alone
You can live in this illusion,
You can choose to believe
You keep looking but you can't find the words,
Are you hiding in retreat?

What if everything around you,
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you used to know,
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection,
Is that all you want to be?
What if you could look right through the cracks,
Would you find yourself... find yourself afraid to see?

 

[DonJerky]

There's nothing to be scared of entering a relationship. IMO, if you walk the walk, any girl is gonna fall head over heals for you; the cool ones will too. I find 1 night stands to be kinda pointless past the age of i dunno, i guess ill round up to 25. I'm 24 and I refuse them. I'm more about in this time in the universe with chicks. Ok these couple months me and you are vibing, ya know? But watch out honey I'm still gonna drive back to my home town for a bj if i dont like ya THAT much. haha. Dude I know what ya mean though, I'm lookin for a Latina girl to date. Tutor my spanish lessons, cook, sex, maybe move in for a bit. Gettin to know a chick is prime!

 

[RFish]

I quite agree with logical player in this one.

It is really about how you are getting used to certain things and you want something else.

So right now you make enough money to go overseas, you enjoyed the trip. What if you were to be constantly living aboard 365 days? You will enjoy it first few years perhaps. As the time goes by, you will start to miss your home country and want to go back.

This applies same to those in relationship yearns for one and vice versa.

Basically the thing is to be happy by yourself and don't depend on anyone. Don't wait for the cooking, learn to cook yourself! If she does, it's a good treat in a while. If she doesn't then you don't complain as well because you can cook stuffs yourself.

The point is to be content with life and what you have.

 

[Lexington]

You're making a huge mistake if you think that a woman can fill a "hole" in your life. It means that not everything is right with you just yet. A woman should only be an icing on the cake. You should be able to have a perfectly happy, fulfilling life without a woman.

If you try to fill that hole with a woman, you're in for a major disappointment. Nothing can fill that hole but you. And believe me, I think most men can relate to what you're feeling. I can too. I haven't filled that hole yet myself. But now I realize that women, drugs, religion, money, a career can't do the trick.

It's up to you to do some deep soul searching and find that small measure of peace that all of us seek but few of us ever find.

As it turns out, when you are content with your life and you don't need a woman to complete you, that's when you will be most attractive to women and best positioned for a fulfilling relationship.

These forums aren't about filling a hole in your life. What they do teach you is how to play the game so that you can find the right woman for you and not have to settle for the one you were able to get only by chance.

 

[theunflushables]

These forums aren't about filling a hole in your life.

You're right. The forums are about filling as many holes as possible during your life. :crackup:

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

 

[cola]

Lexington you misunderstood me. I don't have trouble getting girls. I never have. And the void I'm trying to fill is a void all me get at some point. Who wants to end up alone with a mountain man beard? All that stuff about not having to have a female is bs its written in the base of your genome to seek a companion. Animals do it at a subconscious level. All that don't want/need a mate ever is mexican machismo.

And @ unflushables what about when you've filled so many holes when you get a girl naked its not even exciting anymore? Because you expected it the whole tme..

 

[MoveYourAss...]

after a while, you will WANT TO BE ALONE, you will want your space, you will think back to the time that you were "lonely" and say "wow i miss those times, it is soooo annoying always having this woman in my space. I love her, and shes great to me, but AAHHHHHH so damn annoying" - and that is what ends up happening to men who DO find a good girl to commit to

Very interesting discussion. I completely agree that you should take care not to fall into the trap of somebody else, aka a woman, to fill a void or fear inside yourself.

What I'd like your honest opinion about is the following: Couldn't it be that you did not act for what you need?

you wanted your space - why didn't you take care to have it?
you were annoyed to her always being around - why did you not to do things alone, even adventurous trips of a couple of weeks? Why not?

BEEN THERE, DONE THAT

Me too...not to attack you personally, but out of curiosity. I can report the same, it feels like being caught in a complex spider web of compromises done a long time ago. But I believe this (in part, as the woman obviously also plays a role), in my case the fault of myself since I did for some reason become to lazy to care for my needs and change compromises, if necessary.

If she cannot deal with it, or you decide you want someone else, please quit.

But if you really need a break from her, why not take a 3-month trip occasionally. Or just 2 weeks hiking in nature alone, maybe more often, in this case.

If the man does not care (and fight, if necessary) to fulfill his needs, he reverted from his DJ-heights to the deep valleys of the AFC. He does not make the effort any more to fill this void, he blames the woman for the existence of the void.

 

[The Logical Player]

Very interesting discussion. I completely agree that you should take care not to fall into the trap of somebody else, aka a woman, to fill a void or fear inside yourself.

What I'd like your honest opinion about is the following: Couldn't it be that you did not act for what you need?

you wanted your space - why didn't you take care to have it?
you were annoyed to her always being around - why did you not to do things alone, even adventurous trips of a couple of weeks? Why not?



Me too...not to attack you personally, but out of curiosity. I can report the same, it feels like being caught in a complex spider web of compromises done a long time ago. But I believe this (in part, as the woman obviously also plays a role), in my case the fault of myself since I did for some reason become to lazy to care for my needs and change compromises, if necessary.

If she cannot deal with it, or you decide you want someone else, please quit.

But if you really need a break from her, why not take a 3-month trip occasionally. Or just 2 weeks hiking in nature alone, maybe more often, in this case.

If the man does not care (and fight, if necessary) to fulfill his needs, he reverted from his DJ-heights to the deep valleys of the AFC. He does not make the effort any more to fill this void, he blames the woman for the existence of the void.

the answer to your points is quite simple - it is society's fault.

We have advanced so far as a world, that people dont see classic marriage (being with one person for a full lifetime) as a NECESSITY anymore (and it was a necessity 100 or so years ago). Still, they try to push the marriage agenda onto all of the advanced and evolved people of society (and we are WAY far advanced than humans were even 30 years ago)...........imagine a world without the internet, TV, cars, airplanes, and 99% of the entertainment that you enjoy today.

People these days try to illogically make marriage work, so they end up getting married, and one of 2 things happen:

1) the girl is a hor on the inside, with a typical feminist mindset, and the chump that married her didnt see it coming, until she starts bossing him around, disrespecting him, ect ect, and then in the end she gladly takes 1/2 his money

2) the girl is a great catch, but the guy eventually finds himself trapped, realizing his own mortality, and that THIS IS IT FOR LIFE - not a single new girl in his lifetime, and that shyt is SCARY to any don juan out there, and as a result, the marriage falls apart anyway. As for taking 2 week long vacations alone........if you arent planning to cheat, then it will not help you feel less suffocated. The whole problem is that the guy eventually wants to go out and experience new chicks, no matter how much he loves the woman he married.

It almost seems like the only solution to avoid this kind of suffocation is to cheat on your wife behind her back and in essence, to have your cake (have love and marriage) and eat it too (hook up with new chicks as if you are single)

 

[theunflushables]

And @ unflushables what about when you've filled so many holes when you get a girl naked its not even exciting anymore? Because you expected it the whole tme..

Not getting excited everytime you get a girl naked? Is that even possible? Each new girl is a new body to explore, new techniques, slight nuances to how she rides you that is different than before. It's like trying a new restaruant. I'm never one to say "Ohh...I'm tired of trying new restaraunts, I'm going to Applebee's instead." To me that is a very boring life.

Of course this can be done with just one woman too if you can manage to keep it fresh and exciting.

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

I used to be more romantic, but now I realize that it is ridiculous to be monogamous through your 20s, or to expect someone else to be.

It is human to want somebody to love, and unhealthy to pretend otherwise. However, it is also human to ignore one's inner weaknesses and get married too young or to the wrong person. That is what we must suppress and keep in check. When I do it, it will be the right person for the right reasons.

And yes, I have felt PUA tactics and mentality are great for saturday night but in the long run will make you very lonely. As someone else said, when women get older they realize they don't want to marry James Bond. Striving for the Ultimate DJhood, though, will give you a life of excellence and earn you a worthy partner, so I choose to not focus so much on the "getting laid" part of being a DJ as I do striving for the Life of Excellence.

 

[Darth]

To answer the original question....yes.

don'tyou want to work 8 hrs come home to a hot meal and have your baby say im I'mso proud of you?
Don't you want somebody to kiss you and console you when your going through hard times or a loved one dies?

Yes.

 

[K.Pez]

i want to get married someday. hopefully i'll be married when i'm about 30 years old, which is a while still - only if i meet the right woman though. a bunch of my dad's friends have never married and have no kids. they are the loneliest people you will ever meet in your life. i feel bad for them.

i think of djing as a way of meeting different women in order to discover what i want and do not want in a woman, what i can tolerate in a woman, and what i find to be intolerable in a woman. that way i'll know when i meet the woman that i can live the rest of my life with.

i think there is a time limit for how long you can be a dj. at a certain age, you won't be able to get women in the club or at a party for one night stands. almost everyone your age will be married and the younger girls won't want anything to do with that old creepy guy who keeps staring at them lol.

 

[Lexington]

Lexington you misunderstood me. I don't have trouble getting girls. I never have. And the void I'm trying to fill is a void all me get at some point. Who wants to end up alone with a mountain man beard? All that stuff about not having to have a female is bs its written in the base of your genome to seek a companion. Animals do it at a subconscious level. All that don't want/need a mate ever is mexican machismo.

And @ unflushables what about when you've filled so many holes when you get a girl naked its not even exciting anymore? Because you expected it the whole tme..

I think I understood you find and the point still stands. A woman cannot fill that void in your life. No one but you can fill that void. There are lots of men who have found the love of their lives but they haven't filled that void.

It's encoded into our genome to seek sex but there's no evidence that lifelong companionship is natural for humans. More likely that is a cultural invention. It's highly doubtful that early men bred with only one woman. It's more likely that they tried to nail everything that wasn't nailed down. If they didn't, we as a species probably would have gone extinct a very long time ago.

Our closest living primate ancestors don't seek out long term relationships. Male gorillas, chimpanzees, bonobos and orangutans breed with multiple females in their lifetimes. Even today, polygamy is practiced in several cultures. In ancient times, it was not uncommon for kings and noblemen to have large numbers of concubines.

Society has conditioned us to believe that we should settle down with one woman and live out our lives with her. I'm not saying that's wrong. I'm sure it works well for many people. But many men might be better off doing something different. There's no cookie cutter solution for everyone.

 

[RFish]

Lexington is right.

And OP, your sense of vacuity comes from the fact you were not exactly happy with what is happening to you or what you have now.

You should not be unhappy about what you don't have, but be happy and thankful about what you have.

You might have done ten one night stands, that is good and be happy for what. Not be unhappy because your friends had it more than you do.

If you think that way, your sense of vacuity will forever be there.

 

[zekko]

I agree with cola, the OP.
Back when I was in my 20s I used to bang a lot of different women. Part of it was it was someting I wanted to do, and part of it was I was looking for the right one. And until you find her, all you can do is keep going through them. It was fun, yes, and good experience, but I have to admit at the end of they day it just wasn't very satisfying.

I guess what I wanted from a woman was someone who would appreciate me, and someone who would be a good partner, someone who could be relied upon. I didn't want to be stuck in an endless cycle of looking for the next on. I've got other things to do, after all, and honestly, I hate going to the bar. I have my own projects to concentrate on.

Having said that, of course everybody's different, and what they want may be completely different. And what you want may change over time as you get older, believe it or not. People can go through a lot of different phases in their life.
To me, either decision is a bit of a compromise. If you go with the relationship, you miss out on some of the excitement of seducing different girls. If you go with the one night stands, you miss out on some of the comfort of the relationship. If you're a cheater, I guess you have both (at least until you get caught). It all depends on what you're looking for.

A word of warning though: If you decide to go with the relationship, it MUST be with the right girl, or you are screwed.

 

[Energizer]

I don't want any of that, it seems so needy, it's horrid.

 

[zekko]

I don't want any of that, it seems so needy, it's horrid.

Being in a relationship is needy? Seriously, that is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever read on this forum.

 

[Phenomenal One]

God this thread is a joke

I'd consider the OP's question if it did'nt come from a place of : in a relationship = good, not in a realtionship = bad.

If i wanted to hear how i should be in a relationship and how bad just f*ckin a bunch of woman was i'd listen to my mother.