Don't Want to Fvck This Up.. Help!

the_great_gaia

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 3, 2003
Messages
284
Reaction score
2
Location
Fort Bragg, North Carolina
Okay, I have a facebook page, and I usually don't get any messages on there. So yesterday, I log on and I have an unread message from a chic named Kiwanna (HB9) and she wrote:

"Hey whats up. I don't know how we became friends on facebook, but I was looking at your profile and I think your very handsome. I'm not on facebook much but if you ever want to chat you can call me.

910-***-****"

I met Kiwanna once before, but it just nothing important, so she doesn't remember me which is cool. So I give her a call, and she's at work (she's a nurse at a hospital). When I called her, we spoke briefly, then..

Kiwanna: "Hey, I'm at work, can you text me?"
Me: "Well, I can't do that because... (my reason)"
Kiwanna: "Okay, well, call me at my desk. My work number is 910-***-****"
Me: "Okay, and when's the best time to call?"
Kiwanna: "Anytime you can, even now, if you can.."
Me: "Okay, I'm calling now then.."

I call her and we ended up having a conversation..

To make a long story short, she ended up telling me that I got her attention because of how good she thought I looked in my pictures she saw on facebook. And we talked briefly, then she asked me to call her at 5pm, which was her work-break. I ended up calling her back at 5:07pm, so not to appear desperate. We talked for a lil while and she was telling me about her family and how her father and grandfather are her heroes. She ended up telling me that she doesn't waste her time with guys that her father wouldn't approve of. Then, after talking to her for awhile, I tried to get off the phone with her, reminding her that her break is almost over. But she insisted that we stay on the phone (...ok?)

We got off the phone, but not before she told me that she wanted me to call her again when she got off of work 3 hours later, which would be 8pm. I called her back at 9:34pm, as to not appear desperate. And we got into another conversation. She asked me if I liked comedies, and I told her I did. She asked me if I liked Katt Williams, and I said "yes", then she told her brother: "Guess what?? He likes Katt Williams too!" Which had me thinking, "Wow, she's telling folks about me already". Anyhow, she said she's only interested in GETTING TO KNOW ME and that she believes that being friends first before considering being in a relationship is the best policy. Well, before getting off the phone, she asked me when do I go to work, and I told her 1:45am, and she told me to call her when I'm about to go to work, and I was surprized by that, and I said "So, you want me to call you THAT late? Are you gonna be up waiting by the phone, LOL?" and she said no, and that she just wants me to call, or whenever I go on break, to just call her (which would be between the hours of 1:45am - 7:30am), and then I said: "Do you accept late night calls from ANYONE, or is it because it's ME?" And she said, "No one calls MY phone late, and I want you to call me, because it's YOU", and I told her that I won't guarantee her that I'd call, and that if I could, I would. Then we got off the phone. She once told me that she doesn't like when guys are "inconsistent". Well, I didn't call her yet, and I was gonna wait until tonight, 24 hours from when I last talked to her. Did I do the right thing? Please comment! Thanks for reading!
 

Tazman

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 26, 2004
Messages
1,286
Reaction score
31
Age
45
Stop calling her when she tells you to call, let her initiate a call if she wants to talk. She's setting her frame with you by telling you when to call her, stating that you should be friends first before a "relationship" (you should've said something to the effect of "whoa!! slow down with the relationship talk, I barely know you!"), etc.

Don't let her make you qualify yourself to her, you need to start asking her questions about herself to determine whether or not you like her, she needs to sense this from you (the Katt Williams question was her qualifying you). If you don't have a specific reason to call (like setting up a date), don't. "Inconsistent" is exactly how you should be, especially when calling, that was a freebie from her.
 

the_great_gaia

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 3, 2003
Messages
284
Reaction score
2
Location
Fort Bragg, North Carolina
she would never be able to call me, because I'm currently deployed in Baghdad, Iraq. So I can only call her. Sorry I didn't bring this to your attention.
 

vitor

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 16, 2007
Messages
338
Reaction score
3
Location
Baltimore
Gaia, I assume you are in the Army? Officer, NCO, or Enlisted? Hmmm I know on a deployment it is great to have a woman to talk to etc, but I would not go getting too involved or into this girl. You are there she is here and I think your loniless of being deployed will make her and what you may have with her seem greater than what it is. Trust me been there done that. When are you coming home? If it was soon I would say work with it but if you have 4 + months I would take it real slow and not pay her much attention.
 

the_great_gaia

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 3, 2003
Messages
284
Reaction score
2
Location
Fort Bragg, North Carolina
i'll be home in 6 1/2 weeks, lol. I'll be home in mid-October for good. I wanted to avoid mentioning I was in the military because it could change the whole outcome of this thread.
 

Werman

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 18, 2009
Messages
90
Reaction score
10
I recommend getting some sort of injury so you can get a purple heart. You'll drink for free for the rest of your life.

As for the girl... you're deployed and she's being *****y about inconsistency with your calls? Can you say NEEDY?! The most I would do is have some fun with her over facebook messages if I had absolutely nothing else to do, MAYBE give her a shot when you come back home and see if she really is as needy as she is coming off here, and next her if she is.

You also need to get out of the mindset of worrying about whether or not YOU are going to screw it up and focus on what she is doing to prove to you that she is a quality woman worthy of your time.
 

vitor

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 16, 2007
Messages
338
Reaction score
3
Location
Baltimore
Hmmm, well since you will be home soon, my advice would be to play it cool maybe mention something about having to do some missions on a COP and not having phone or internet access for a while. Talk to her once a week or so, so things stay fresh, and then when you get home you can go from there.
 

piranha45

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 17, 2005
Messages
974
Reaction score
38
You also need to get out of the mindset of worrying about whether or not YOU are going to screw it up and focus on what she is doing to prove to you that she is a quality woman worthy of your time.
exactly.
 

amoka

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 18, 2006
Messages
1,938
Reaction score
63
Werman said:
I recommend getting some sort of injury so you can get a purple heart. You'll drink for free for the rest of your life.
Lol...
To the OP, take the advice many are providing you here. Personally, i don't trust nurses when it comes to relationship. Most of them get bored and tired and are afraid of being lonely too often. Take the once a week call advice. Let her call if she can reach you or call her collect and let her pay for it if she wants to talk to you.
 
Top