Dont really need help. Just need to have a nice convo with my balls!

[Maxfarsigth]

Hello everyone!
I haven’t visited sosuave in a while. I read once that "one doesn’t really understand the principles of this site until one leaves it". Absolut truth!

To make a 2 year long story short:
I thought I was a DJ (and felt as one) just because I was able to kiss some girl and eventually had sex. Well, that girl has been my girlfriend for 2 years now. We have had good times together. But the truth is that I’ve been falling in an incredible spiral towards AFCness. And now I feel worst than when I had no girl.

Now I am totally convinced of what I want in life, what happiness means for me (and definitely doesn’t involve this girlfriend of mine). In fact I have detailed the exact steps to take in order to achieve those dreams. The problem is that the first step is ending my “relationhip” with her, wich I really know I don’t want.

That’s why, technically I don’t need help (of course I do!, I need your opinion, thoughts, etc). What I need is to “grab my f*king balls” and tell her what I want and that its over.

Note: we do have lots of trouble because she is so afraid I wlak away… everytime I find activities or eaven opportunities in life that could not include her.

But I have always been a woman pleaser (as like slaves) and I have kinda maintained this fake “love” towards her. So…

Should I abruptly en it all without any steps? (Obviously I care for her felling like cheated)
Or shul I do what I have thinked of and just grab my balls, meet to talk and spit it all (seriously and respectfully)?

…hah! The pain of braking up (see her upset) is nothing compared to the pain of not fulfilling my dreams…

If you want to, check my prevous threads to see my past AFCness

 

[Alle_Gory]

If you're going to leave her then just do it. It doesn't help anyone to drag it out.

You can leave respectfully and on your own terms. Also, I don't think there's need for further contact. When you leave, just leave.

 

[Captain]

Just go and do it. Nothing fancy, nothing drawn out.

 

[Scars]

At the end of the day all you gotta do is look out for number 1. (Yourself)

Your happiness is the most important thing. If this girl is holding you back like a big huge anchor tied to your ankle then get rid of her.

 

[2crudedudes]

You're not into this relationship any more, its done.

This isn't a conversation with your balls, this is a conversation with your d1ck. You don't wanna dump her because you're not seeing anyone else, and you want easy sex like your gf provides.

I can't guarantee you'll find another chick quick, or that not having sex is the easiest thing to deal with, but don't deprive yourself of other women just because you can bust a nut with this one you dislike.

As a guy who stuck around in a relationship that was doomed from the start for waaay too long, I can assure you that its gonna end either way, and you may or may not end up in the situation where you're not getting any for a while anyway. So why try to prevent the inevitable?

 

[SteR]

Just outta interest, what is it you decided you want out of life?

 

[Crow]

You are going to be so happy once you overcome this barrier. You'll be walking clouds for a week.

 

[Maxfarsigth]

I can assure you that its gonna end either way, and you may or may not end up in the situation where you're not getting any for a while anyway. So why try to prevent the inevitable?

Thats right dude! thanx!
Better to end now than in the worst case scenario: divorce after a couple of hellish years.. (thats hell indeed).

...Hah.. she has this great ilusion I will buy her an apartmenet an we'll have children (but I think nearly every woman is after that, specially after reading part of the book "the manipulated man" .. started yesterday)

I decided that:
- I am going to do exactly what I want when I want.
- Nobody is gonna tell me what to do anymore.
- No more spending money, time and energy on things that arent really my dreams.
- And start following those "Fifteen Lessons" all the way.

Good! Now that everything is said theres only one thing left right? ACTION!

 

[Maxfarsigth]

ACTION was the last word of my last post.
Wall that's it. I broke with my LTR, im sure that's what I wanted.
I feel bad because I know she must feel bad, like cheated and very surprised.
I think that part of why I feel bad is because I still have that AFC feeling that I need her to feel safe and confortable.
Myself, I feel very out of my confort zone.
I thought this was going to be easier, put I do feel pain.

She called me twice 3 mins ago but I didnt answer. She must be feeling real bad, because she still has hope we'll come back toghether. But thats not really what I want to. I dont feel like talking to her today.

Maybe Ill write to her an email o sms in a couple of days to tell her to stop trying to reach me. I need time alone.

Its hard to Men-up, Its hard to evolve and learn. I just hope that in a couple of weeks, months and years I feel very happy I did what I did because Ill start doing things my way. The things I really want.

I feel a little lost. I know its because Im away of my confort zone and because I want to please her and make her feel better.

I read a thread (cant find it right now) about a guy who loved his LTR but ended it because it was his first girlfriend. Well this is also kind of my first real girlfriend and I agree that it is important that I meet as many women as posible. In fact, Im sure there is quality woman out there.

Last night, when we broke, she said she really loved me, she said she wishes me well and that she cant hate me. Thats why I feel a little worst.
But still, eaven if she really loves me. Im taking the risk, I rather meet more woman, I rather live independent know, I dont care if I dont find (in the next months or years) a perfect girl (yes, now im more picky). Im taking the risk, because I dont wanna be like: Im 44, married and regretting al I didnt do or risk when I was young.

 

[Maxfarsigth]

Bump.. cause I was not dead serious when I said I didnt really needed help.
It could look like im needing your validation
But a couple of comments and opnions wont hurt.
Thankyou.