Don't pay for any of her stuff

[Superman X]

There's something completely wrong with our society. Today I was watching a TV show, and it was at the end of the date. The guy said "I don't know how to tell you this. But I think you're a complete psycho. I want to get as far away from you as possible." And then he took out his wallet and paid for the check!

Doesn't anyone see something wrong with this? Women have jobs, they have money, they should pay for their own food, movie tickets etc.

Why would I want to pay for someone's stuff who I don't really know and don't really like? I don't think anyone WANTS to pay for girls, but many people feel obligated to.

Not only this, but paying for her stuff is the ultimate form of supplication. You try to supply what you lack in sexual value by slapping some money down. Hot girls have had chumps willing to buy them anything since they got out of middle school. Set yourself apart from them and when the check comes, say "$22. eleven bucks each. and for the priviledge of spending a night with a hot guy like myself, you should pay the tip."

Lots of people even on the DJ boards feel that paying for her stuff is good because it's traditional. You don't want to be traditional when you're with a girl. It's traditional to wait until marriage to have sex too, and I know you don't want to do that.

A girl who I recently made out with and finger fvcked and am hoping to lay soon told me on the phone that she was glad that I "stood up for myself" when she kept begging me to buy her stuff and I told her no, or made her pay me back. She has male friends back home who are up to their eyeballs in LJBF sh!t who are willing to buy her anything. But she won't touch them.

If anyone disagrees with me post your reasons for paying for a girl's sh!t and I will gleefully shoot it down.

 

[OpenMind]

I agree with you Clark. I try to have the women pay for me every chance I get and I am thankful to them for it. They even show me they like to pay for me. ( I want to add that I am never disrespectful to them about it)

 

[fan27]

I agree with this post to certain extent. If I go to an event with a woman where the tickets cost $30 to $40 bucks, I am not buying her ticket and I will let this be known up front. If I meet a woman for coffee and the coffee guy says "together or seperate", I offer to pay. If she offers to pay for hers, great. You definitely don't want to try to buy her affection, but don't want to come off as cheap either. This is what I am comfortable with and realize that other strategies work just as well for other people.

 

[Superman X]

Openmind - Yeah, it's great if you can get the girl to pay for you. You get her to supplicate to you and you save $$$. I wouldn't ask a girl to pay for me though, but if she offered I would definitely let her.

fan27 - Yes, I agree that coffee is not a big deal. But I still think that you shouldn't pay for it. I don't think that you are obligated to pay for a woman's stuff just because she spends time with you. How is it cheap to not pay for the stuff of someone who you don't really know?

In order to counteract coming off as "cheap", you could do other things to show you have plenty of money, but you're not spending it on her. Like, give money to homeless people in the street. If one of your friends needs money for something and she's there, offer to give him some. But it just kills me, and I suspect it kills a lot of you too, to pay for a girl's stuff.

 

[Anson]

Being a DJ does not mean that we should stop being gentlemen. The reason why women dislike AFC's is not because of their respect towards the woman, but because the disrespect towards themselves and the spineless way they talk and act. A DJ at it's best - as it has been mentioned many times before, in the Bible among other places - is one who succesfully combines the best attributes of a jerk and a nice guy. He posses the confidence of the jerk and is in control of the situation, but he can also act like a gentleman. Which, I believe, all DJ's should act around women.

Bottom line is, if you call a girl out then you also pay for her, unless if she doesn't want you to pay. And of course unless if you want to be a total azzhole.

If you don't want to pay then don't ask her out, it's as simple as that. Don't be an azzhole, be a DJ.

 

[violator]

I agree with Anson 100%. If you are inviting a girl to go out, then it is incumbant for you to pay for the date. It is as simple as that.

Just because you pay, doesn't mean that you are losing your self respect or the girl will think any less of you. Of course, there are situations where paying for her is a no no. For instance, never buy a girl a drink whom you just met at a bar or club. If she invites you to go to an event, then you only pay for yourself. Never buy her gifts or lend her money until she is officially your GF.

The point is you have to know how to balance not appearing cheap, which is a big turnoff for women and maintaining your self respect and not being a pushover.

 

[OpenMind]

This is a great thread. The only reason I allow a women to pay for things is to test their interest level. I never ask her to but just as a women can act a certain way to a guy with the expectation of him paying for her, a guy can act the same way towards a women. Most of the time if you allow a women to pay for you ( and she has interest in you) her interest level may rise. This doesn't mean that I wont pay for her the next time. I just use it as a test of her interest level.

 

[iqqi]

Like, give money to homeless people in the street.

like, hahahahhahaaha.

you'd give money to f*cking homeless guy on the street, but you wouldn't buy coffee for your date????

hahahahhahahahhaha.

 

[Natural Cynic]

If I ask someone out than naturally I should pay, but if she asks me out than she should pay. I honestly don't believe paying for a date that you asked her on is supplcating. As long as its cheap.

 

[The Main Event]

Originally posted by Superman X
In order to counteract coming off as "cheap", you could give money to homeless people in the street. If one of your friends needs money for something and she's there, offer to give him some.

So.

You're against paying for a girl's coffee on several grounds. One of those is that it's too much like buying her affection. Another is that it costs you money.

I agree with you. They're good reasons.

But then in the next breath you say that you're going to give money to street urchins and bail out your friends. All while she's present, of course. To counteract any perception she may have that you're cheap.

This, my friend, is called buying her affection by proxy. You're not giving her money directly--but you're letting her have a big impact on how much money leaves your wallet and where it goes.

And the motives behind it are quite as abject (and quite as blatant) as paying for her coffee.


I am
The Main Event.

 

[T-4ze]

Anson's terms on paying are classic! I've had mixed opinions before, but I think I got it set straight now. It doesn't get any easier than this and it makes total sense.

 

[flashdance]

just remember with the logic "whoever asks pays"... that guys initially do the asking 99% of the time. so they'll also be doing the paying 99% of the time. guys are expected to do the asking so now your saying because of that theyre also expected to do the paying... which brings the issue right back where it started.

your paying and being the traditional "gentleman" from her fairy-tales and shes out getting laid by a different guy every weekend and making 70K a year.

if your a serial dater, at least keep the first dates inexpensive (or free). you'll find that approach all over this board (action dates, do what you were planning to do anyway and just invite her along, etc). if after you spend some money a few more times out... she doesnt offer to pay or split the bill... a red flag should go up. personally, most of the girls I've gone out with have wanted to pay or throw in some cash after the first or second date.

just my 2 cents.

po.

 

[johnnyboy101]

Originally posted by Anson
Bottom line is, if you call a girl out then you also pay for her, unless if she doesn't want you to pay. And of course unless if you want to be a total azzhole.

If you don't want to pay then don't ask her out, it's as simple as that. Don't be an azzhole, be a DJ.

It's that type of azzhole comment and way of thinking from a seasoned poster on this board which will keep Don Juan so very far behind the theories, applications and successes of the mASF guys.

Look, pal, you skint yourself if you want, buying women as you do.

 

[Jinn]

The AFC says "I will pay for her and she will love me for it"

The wannabe dj says "I will not pay for her and she will love me for it"

The real dj says "I will do whatever I want"

(copied and slightly modified from someone's sig, I just thought it fit perfectly here )

 

[iqqi]

Originally posted by Jinn
The AFC says "I will pay for her and she will love me for it"

The wannabe dj says "I will not pay for her and she will love me for it"

The real dj says "I will do whatever I want"

(copied and slightly modified from someone's sig, I just thought it fit perfectly here )

exactlamente. perfectly said, or quoted.

 

[Superman X]

That's my sig. Let's face it, nobody wants to pay for girls. Personally, I find it abhorrent to pay for someone who earns money themselves. Not only is it a waste of money, but do you think you will get laid because you pay for her stuff? No. I don't think anyone will claim that a girl will be impressed that you pay for her, and its supplicative as hell.

 

[Superman X]

Anson...all I have to say is, fvck being a gentleman. Does being "gentlemanly" get you girls? Nope, but it does empty your pockets, and make her think that you're a traditional guy. Like, one who thinks sex before marriage is immoral. You've been conditioned to think that it's not proper to take a woman out without paying for her. Could you please list all the reasons why it is morally right to pay for a woman's stuff when she earns money? "Because you asked her out" is not a reason, because as flashdance said, that just means that the guy should always pay.

I'm saying, don't wait for her to offer to pay. Tell her that she's paying for her own stuff. Any girl who refused I think you can safely say is a golddigger.

 

[Ded_Skin_Mask13]

I totally agree Superman. Today, women want to be seen as INDEPENDENT and all that s***, claiming they don't need a man's financial support and that they can make it. So therefore why should you take out your damn wallet and waste money on a chick that you don't even know if she would be worth it in the future.

If the woman is gonna be independent, than she shouldn't be bothered if the guy doesn't pay for both people at a restaurant or wherever.....

 

[iqqi]

When a man takes a woman he is interested out on a date, and pays, it is usually a form of taking care of a woman, which is what men want to do, and woman want. It is like opening doors, and such. It can be very romantic, and a man who does this usually is not a man who is worried about AFCness, he is usually secure with his manliness, and that is precisely WHY he treats.

I used to feel like I should always pay my own way, and I was a hardcore believer in that. I didn't want any guy who I was not sure about feling like he paid for me, or that I owed him anything.

But then I started realizing that while some men were exactly like that, some weren't. One being one of my platonic guy friends, Marc. Marc would buy me drinks and occasionally pay my way into places. At first I was uncomfortable but slowly I realized that he truly enjoyed paying for me! And that's when I began to notice that there were other men like him!

Don't get me wrong. I always go out expecting to pay for myself, but now I don't act hostile if the man tries to pay. As a matter of fact, now that I am cool with it, I realize that a man who wants to pay is a man who wants to treat a woman, and treat a woman well. Every man who is like this has always treated me better and seemed to genuwinely love women.

Maybe that is the problem. Many men on this board seem resentful and bitter towards women, so I guess that goes hand in hand with the "hell no I ain't payin" mentality. For some I understand it is just the principle, and that is cool.

But to be honest, now that I've experienced both, I'm picking the man who wants to treat me well, like his queen. That is the only kind of man who will be my king.

(steps out of the way of the oncoming stampede of righteous redfaced men)...

 

[fan27]

I went out with this liberal,feminist, tree hugger type woman last night on our second date. It was fun as I busted on her for her views big time. She does have a sense of humor though. I invited her back to my place to see my collection of automatic weapons. Anyways, I paid for the date (grand total= $20). When I talk to her again, I am going to tell her "yes,I totally agree with your feminist views. Oh , by the way, at which restaraunt will you be buying my dinner this Saturday night? How about xyz Steak House. (she's vegetarian).