Don't invest into the girl to quickly

[zzeitgeist]

I realized recently that I invest way to much way to early with any girl who shows me signs of interests and is attractive.

Recently I went out on a date with an attractive girl. Things where great, good vibe, kino and she even pushed for a second date before the first one was over. I was an idiot and didn't try to kiss her at the end of the date because for some reason I still keep thinking girls won't kiss on first dates(slowly getting this out of my head) but because I had the second date(or so I thought) I figured "meh, I'll do it than".

Anyway, so I went home feeling great. I mean really good. This girl was exactly my type and seemed into me. I started going through kino and escalation threads to get some ideas on how to move things a long on the second date. That night she was on my mind before I went to bed. I envisioned our second date and tried to play out scenarios. I even made a post on here to get advice. I didn't want to mess this up. She was great and I could see myself dating her. (all this from a first meet lol... we never met before. Talk about infatuation.)

So I don't call the next day. Then after reading threads on when to call(more investment from me) I find that the consensus is to call sooner than later. So anyway, I wait the 1 day, and then the following evening (48 hours since date) I call. No answer. Okay... No problem. There could be a million reasons she doesn't pick up. I leave it alone... maybe she'll call back after seeing me on caller ID. Another day passes no call. One more day passes still no call. At this point I am still thinking about this girl (still investing) and figure okay two days maybe she never got my call. Its happened to me before when someone told me they called twice and it never even showed on my phone.

So I figure okay before this we communicated by email and so, I'll drop a short email. All it said was "It was fun hanging out with you. Hope you had a good weekend. Cheers". 2 days pass and no response. "WOW" I thought to myself. A little disappointed. At this point I start analyzing what I did wrong or what could have gone wrong(still fvcking investing into her).

The smartest thing I did before all this was I set up another date that same week with another girl. If I didn't do that I would have sat there doubting myself even more. Thinking there is something wrong with me or scheming plots to get her back out with me. I even contemplated writing a post here.. one of those "What went wrong post".

Then it hit me. I thought to myself "What wrong with you man!?". What has this girl done to deserve so much effort and dedication from me? Fvckin nothing! She came out on a date and showed some interest and I let it get to me.

At this point I realized I should have never invested so much into her just because she showed interest. I should have never given her so much thought till she was at least sucking on my knob and making me sandwiches.

I learned a few things from this:

Don't invest to much of your precious valuable time into a girl who shows initial interest.

Always try to kiss close if your attracted to the girl. Or at the very minimum go for it and worst case scenario you'll get the cheek.

Don't pay for her on the first date. Split that shlt.

Hope for the best and expect the worst.

Never focus your energy on one girl. Set up new girls despite how well you think your current girl is going.

 

[slaog]

You're right. Make them earn your attention and they'll respect you more for it.


But the whole thing actually turned out well after all. You learned a valuable lesson from it and will be better for the experiance. I had to go through many similar "traumas" but they all thought me something.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

Trick for me is to never stick to one.Always try to mack another one even if she's just for practice...

 

[fertileTurtle]

Sounds like you learned some good lessons. Best of luck in the future. You're right, you shouldn't devalue yourself waiting for a woman to make up her mind. If you came correct with your game she would be waiting to take the next steps with you, or maybe she just doesn't get it.

 

[zzeitgeist]

Trick for me is to never stick to one.Always try to mack another one even if she's just for practice...

Heh. I wonder if thats what she was doing. I had clear signs of interest and she even expressed wanting to hang out again. Take everything with a grain of salt guys.

The other girl I set up on friday that week ended up giving me just as much IOI and no I am not imaging this stuff lol. I had kino, good convo and had her sharing stories with me she said she only shared with a few people on top of this I had her laughing her ass off. The vibe was definitely good. At the end of the night I gave a hug and kiss on the cheek - she didn't pull away, look disgusted or anything. (Trying to get more comfortable before kiss closing first dates).

To be honest I wasn't nearly as much into her as the last girl and she was to much for me(works as a bartender, loves to go clubbing) but still super nice. I also took my own advice and didn't over analyze this one.

I sent her a text 3 days after the date to tell her I had fun and wished her luck on her job hunt. Not even a thank you reply back... LOL I honestly didn't care this time as much but I found it so funny that I had two in a row like this. Total interest then nothing... I can't possibly imagine anyone sitting 2 hours on a date, laughing, telling stories, appearing to have fun, telling me how funny I am and then disappearing like this. Its like a twilight zone.

The only explanation I can come up with is I am meeting these girls on a free online dating website. These are fairly attractive girls so they get tons of attention on this site. I even asked the second one out of curiosity how many messages she gets every day and she told me around 15. So this could totally explain the drop in interest... they are probably going on other dates and maybe someone is doing better than me.

LOL still I found this funny but definitely a good learning experience. I applied my own lessons on the second girl and as a result didn't get as emotionally distressed when she didnt reply. Anyone else with similar experiences?