Don Juans cannot teach AFCs

dreamx

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Duke said:
I agree with the original poster. You can't teach a guy how to pickup women. There are far too many variables involved that you aren't in control of as a teacher. What you can do is show him a successful path to getting women and inform him of the proper mindets... he has to do the actual change-work for himself (unless he pays a hypnotist). The success of a guy is out of the teacher's hands. Look at the spiteful reviews one of Tyler Durden's workshop attendees wrote up. I read Tyler's **** and I go out and experiment with it to see if it works. And it does. But if a guy is predisposed to behave a certain way, you can't MAKE HIM change his behavior. You can only influence.
You have some good points,but look nobody said you can MAKE HIM.I said you can teach him,yes its up to the guy to choose to listen to the advice.What you posted about making is another different story from this topic.
 

Duke

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dreamx said:
You have some good points,but look nobody said you can MAKE HIM.I said you can teach him,yes its up to the guy to choose to listen to the advice.What you posted about making is another different story from this topic.
Well, by definition, if a teacher is TEACHING a student, then the student is learning. Is a student really LEARNING anything if he never applies the knowledge? Not really, he's just amassing data. That's not the same as learning a topic and mastering it. A teacher can TELL a student anything, and the students will HEAR. But the only way a student can be TAUGHT is if he's willing to LISTEN and APPLY. Whether or not the students actually learn anything (and are conversely TAUGHT something) is not in the teacher's hands.

So let me back up and say that I disagree with the original poster's statement that AFC's CAN'T be taught. They CAN be taught, but the decision to learn is up to the student.

You can not teach a man anything; you can only help him to find it within himself
-Galileo
 

theSpeculator

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Duke said:
So let me back up and say that I disagree with the original poster's statement that AFC's CAN'T be taught. They CAN be taught, but the decision to learn is up to the student.
Let me clarify some points. I have a very high standard for what a Don Juan is. My definion of DJ would be character like Arthur and his Knights in the movie King Arthur, or Maximus from Gladiator, or Wolverine from X-men. All of them have the characteristics of being confident men, intelligence, compassionate, emotionally strong, and honorable. Not many poeple are like that. So therefore I stated that only at most 2% here are true Don Juans.

As I stated before: Don Juans think very differently from AFCs. That is why when we tell them one thing, the AFC is thinking of a completely different thing. For example, a good advice that I would give is learn to conquer your fear. What I mean by this is that you learn to becoming so emotionally strong that fear does not paralyze you. You still feel the fear but you are more able to keep it under control. In other words you bulid up a resistance to fear. Fear is a natural emotion that human feels. But some AFCs read the advice and think that they have to suppress their fear or become emotionless creature in order to not feel fear. Which is completely not what I meant.

Another thing is I believe that sosuave does not turn AFC into Don Juans. All it does is turn AFCs into another form of AFC: AFC that thinks they are the prize. As I stated before: Don Juans think very differently from AFCs. I think some people are born to just be AFCs. I think that the AFCs that somehow manage to become Don Juans were meant to be Don Juans from the start but it's just that somehow society turns them into AFCs instead. The AFCs that becomes Don Juans because they are smart enough to see the bull$hits here, have good characteristics (like honesty, compassion, positive thinking) about them that support their self-esteem building, and they try harder than the typically AFCs. 'nuff said.

One last thing: just because you can pull girls easily does not make you a Don Juan in my book. Any douchebag with some moderate skills can pull girls every night at a club. That doesn't mean the girls he's getting are high quality girls. It's really not that hard to get laid if you know a little about what you're doing. And some girls are easy. To me a Don Juan is much more than getting laid. 'nuff said.
 
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I love Hyori Lee

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theSpeculator said:
Let me clarify some points. I have a very high standard for what a Don Juan is. My definion of DJ would be character like Arthur and his Knights in the movie King Arthur, or Maximus from Gladiator, or Wolverine from X-men. All of them have the characteristics of being confident men, intelligence, compassionate, emotionally strong, and honorable. Not many poeple are like that. So therefore I stated that only at most 2% here are true Don Juans.

As I stated before: Don Juans think very differently from AFCs. That is why when we tell them one thing, the AFC is thinking of a completely different thing. For example, a good advice that I would give is learn to conquer your fear. What I mean by this is that you learn to becoming so emotionally strong that fear does not paralyze you. You still feel the fear but you are more able to keep it under control. In other words you bulid up a resistance to fear. Fear is a natural emotion that human feels. But some AFCs read the advice and think that they have to suppress their fear or become emotionless creature in order to not feel fear. Which is completely not what I meant.

Another thing is I believe that sosuave does not turn AFC into Don Juans. All it does is turn AFCs into another form of AFC: AFC that thinks they are the prize. As I stated before: Don Juans think very differently from AFCs. I think some people are born to just be AFCs. I think that the AFCs that somehow manage to become Don Juans were meant to be Don Juans from the start but it's just that somehow society turns them into AFCs. These AFCs becomes Don Juans because they are smart enough to see the bull$hits here, have good characteristics (like honesty, compassion, positive thinking) about them that support their self-esteem building, and they try harder than the typically AFCs. 'nuff said.

First of all,

My definion of DJ would be character like Arthur and his Knights in the movie King Arthur, or Maximus from Gladiator, or Wolverine from X-men. All of them have the characteristics of being confident men, intelligence, compassionate, emotionally strong, and honorable.
I find it hard to respect you. You're mentioning people who aren't real. Are these the people you look up to? Can't you name any real people that correspond to your arguments?

All of them have the characteristics of being confident men, intelligence, compassionate, emotionally strong, and honorable. Not many poeple are like that. So therefore I stated that only at most 2% here are true Don Juans.
I think you can learn confidence. I think you can learn compassion. I think you can become emotionally strong. I've seen a lot of people change thier whole lives around.

And then you say that only 2 percent of this website are Don Juans.I don't think you can call yourself a Don Juan because you definitely aren't within the top 2% of this website. Again, neither am I, but who are you to judge people. You're not even close to the top 2%, so that makes you NOT a Don Juan, and as such, you shouldn't be making this post right here. I can name a lot of other people that have better advice than you. How can you make a statement that only 2 percent of this website are Don Juans, when you don't even match up to those expectations. And if that's the case, why are you posting here? That's a student saying that he's better than all his teachers. That's a student trying to teach other students in a subject that he isn't knowledgable in. Don't set expectations that even YOU don't ACCOMPLISH.

Another thing is I believe that sosuave does not turn AFC into Don Juans. All it does is turn AFCs into another form of AFC: AFC that thinks they are the prize.
As somebody mentioned before, I don't think that this website would still be around if the methods on here didn't work. There's two things that make someone successful in here and in life. You must study and read to understand your subject. Then, you must apply what you learn. A person can take the DMV lessons and read the books on driving. He can read all the manuals, but it's not the same as going out there and driving. There is things you can learn from books, which is called knowledge. Then there are things that you only learn from your own experience, which is called wisdom. I think there are a LOT of former AFCS who read all the articles of Pook and woke up. I mean, as soon as I read, "The Secret of the Jerk" by Pook, I was enlightened. Much of my life, I always did "nice" things to women because I thought this would earn me points. It was only after I came to this site that I learned.

I still remind myself how I found this website.

Nobody told me about it. I had to find it myself.

The advice on here and your willingness to learn from advice comes from desire. Everybody who is on here is willing to learn. I've showed this website to my friends who needed desperate help, but they don't think it works.

You have to have a desire. You have to find this website yourself. It's those people that find this website themselves that have the thirst to learn and the ability to change. Thus, you are making an unfair judgement, because there ARE a LOT of people who have changed. There ARE a lot of former AFCs.

Finally, I'm learning my most important lesson of all. Being a Don Juan isn't difficult. You're making it sound like it's a lost art or a skill that can't be learned.

Being a Don Juan is being a MAN.
That's all it takes.

Everytime I make a decision, I think to myself, "What would a MAN do?"

That's all it comes down to.

You're making false judgement by saying that we can't ever learn to become men. If you could actually talk to all the people on this website who actually have changed thier lives and have learned from this website...if you were able to count them all....you'd quickly realize how mistaken you were.
 

theSpeculator

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CompleteControl said:
I would be happy to help - although I think people who have far more posts than me might get more respect.
The best posters I've seen so far are the ones that have less than 20 posts and they have been here for a year. More posts does not necessarily mean better skills. It could mean that the posters has too much time due to no life so he posts a lot. The people who posts little but offer a lot of good (but short) advices are probably too busy doing their own thing to bother sitting down for 30 min to write one big post.

So don't worry about if you have respect. Just keep giving good advice and you will get respect. Even if you don't have any experience, you can still give your opinion.
 

theSpeculator

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I love Hyori Lee said:
I find it hard to respect you. You're mentioning people who aren't real. Are these the people you look up to? Can't you name any real people that correspond to your arguments?
I know these are fictional characters but their personalities reflects that of a real man. And I gave these examples so that if you're smart you would then go watch these movies and try to learn. Sure, I'll give you a few famous names that I admire: Richard Branson, Seal (married to Heidi Klum), and Christian Bale. Men like these that have the charisma and drive to become successful represent less than 2% of the total male population so here it should not be any different. And no I'm not saying it is impossible to learn how to act like a man. If you have the will, you will do it. But what I'm saying is that most guys do not, so most do not become men.

I know it sound like I'm saying you have to try to become the next president to be a Don Juan because I'm not. I understand that everyone cannot be president, but they can still try to be men with goals. Most guys out there are not men, they are more like teenagers that looks like adults.

If you got sensitive that I might be too harsh, welcome to the real world call life.
 

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however...even thought I am myself not the best PUA, I can tell you that, even thought the material you learn here seems massive, it is still just about 10% of learning to pick up women, everything else is going out there and actually doing it.
that's why I think, and agree to the words of the original author of this thread, because, how good an advice may be, it is totally wasted if you don't go out there, and actually use it. I think that many have a big problem with that, and I must say, that I too don't go out as often as I should, I have four years of reading the materials, when I never went out and even once actually tried it out!!!:cry:

but all of that is changing now, specially since saw mysterys dvd's, and got in touch with the swedish part of the seduction community.
the mystery method provided me with canned openers, which made it easier, and the swedish community made me feel, that I maybe wasn't the only swede in the whole country whom practiced the arts:p
another aspect, is the one of learning to calibrate, which I still suck at, but hey, you need to crash and burn a couple of times, so...Im working on it.

on the history subject, I think you've forgot one last part, one whom most people forgets, one whom still exist even today...the christian church...
the one not guilty of the most massive persecutions in history, but definitely the absolutely cruelest actions ever known in history- the witch persecutions processes, which actually was something that around the 16th-17th century that happened in the entire western world.
some monks actually wrote a book on hunting, and interrogating witches, a book known as the most horrifying book in history!!

Cya
/Maye
 

BrotherAP

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theSpeculator said:
After many frustrating attempt to give advice here I've come to the conclusion that it is almost impossible to give advice to AFCs. The reason why is because Don Juans think very differently than AFCs.
I've spent many hours giving advice to AFCs, and you know you are almost right. There is a gap between how the experienced few and the uneducated masses think (I'll humor you and call the former "Don Juans" and the latter "AFC", although I generally reject the terminology), but the reality isn't that the advice cannot be given. It's just that the advice can't be given in a straightforward manner, because they simply won't understand it.

A lot of times you can't answer the question asked, because the 'AFC' is asking the wrong question. It may happen just as often that you think of a way to reply, a great response that would not only answer his question but show him why it was such a bad question, but you've got somewhere to be within the next half an hour and it would simply be too much effort to write a lengthy reply. Maybe he's simply asking the same thing that the other 20 people asked, and you feel the question has been asked ad naseum, so you simply can't see the value in replying to the same thing over and over again.

Is the problem really that you can't give him advice because he thinks too different? Well, not exactly. The problem is that you advice you have to give isn't what he's looking for. What he needs is for you to tell him to think differently himself. That's how you advise an AFC. You show him how to think like a Don Juan. Lead by example always, and remember never give a man a fish when you can teach him how to fish. This is, admittedly, more difficult than simply answering the question posed, but far more effective in the longrun.
 

theSpeculator

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theSpeculator said:
One last thing: just because you can pull girls easily does not make you a Don Juan in my book. Any douchebag with some moderate skills can pull girls every night at a club. That doesn't mean the girls he's getting are high quality girls. It's really not that hard to get laid if you know a little about what you're doing. And some girls are easy. To me a Don Juan is much more than getting laid. 'nuff said.
I was in a hurry when I first wrote this. Now that I have some time to think I realize it could've been said much shorter:

"You do not have to be a MAN to get any girl. That's easy. But you do have to be a MAN if you want the very high quality ones."
 

Consent

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theSpeculator said:
"You do not have to be a MAN to get any girl. That's easy. But you do have to be a MAN if you want the very high quality ones."
That quote is sooo true. Have you noticed something about some of the most popular posters on here? They are always the ones who are social robots that like to rack up the # of "sarges" and then brag about it online. I think it's because they were neglected as children and now seek to call attention on themselves. Ofcourse they will use their internet ego to call other people keyboard jockeys if they disagree with them because their way of thinking is so one-dimensional and deluded. Then you get dozens of AFCs looking up to them and asking them questions like they are some type of god's gift to women. The reality is that these type of male-attention-wh0res never get high quality females. They have the frame of mind that they actually like getting rejected and so end up with lower quality. They rationalize being "successful" even though they weren't, because a real man was able to get the girls they couldn't get.
The problem is then the AFCs have these losers as their role models on sosuave and then scratch their heads wondering why they aren't getting anywhere.
 
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