Cloud-uk
Master Don Juan
Part 2:
In this, the second part, we will look at the second five topics of Carnegie's book. Please the preceding part if you have not done so already, and reply with what you think of it. I would gladly expand on parts that I have not articulated well.
So far, the mindset I am evangelising is one of enjoyment, passivity and helping of others. It's not sounding very Don Juan at the moment is it! However, I will expand.
The areas of Carnegie's book to be looked at now are:
1) Remember names
2) Listen intently
3) Talk to your audience's interests
These will be used to further explain a love for macking
4) Make them feel important
This will be used to explain the way you should think about others
5) Avoid argument
This will be used to explain when confontation should be used
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1) Remember names
2) Listen intently
3) Talk to your audience's interests
As I said previously, being a "Don Juan" should be fun. I'm sure if things aren't going so well you know they aren't because you aren't enjoying things. This is a vicious cycle. If you aren't truely -loving- macking onto a girl, she'll pick it up. No one wants to sit there while the other person conveys the message "I'm not attracted to you" right in their face, which is what you'll be inadvertently doing.
Let's clarify this common mistake in mindsets too, and solve a dilema at the same time. Ok- so you've got the love-stricken AFC who heaps affection on a girl, which is bad. Then you've got a slightly stand offish Don who a girl can't pin down, which is good. But isn't showing you are attracted to a girl good? I'm going to stop now, but you get the idea.
Well let's look at the lessons to illustrate the answer. Firstly, we all like girls, we all want girls. Let's not divulge into the depths of asexuality here and ride that masculinity! You are here because you want girls, now sit down and spend 10 minutes making sure that when you go up to a girl you make it damn sure that she knows and you know that you are there because you find her attractive. How? AFC adoration perchance? NO! You just need to get it into your head that it's ok to find a girl attarctive. If you start phrasing that like "I want to **** her" or "I want to marry her", you need more work, because if you're swinging one of these ways you're missing out on part of the experience.
You will let her know this, which is the natural thing to happen, by enjoying being with her. She'll feel happy, you'll feel happy, and as long as you get in the sexual stuff like kino you're set. If you want to mix in with some of the unpredictable shenanegans it goes in later as a singular point. Basicly, you act attracted but then do something that raises doubt, not vice versa.
Back to the lessons, I wish to use this point to explain further to idea in Part I about making people want to be attracted to you, "letting them want to have your babies".
If there were two men, one who wanted to make people like him and the other who wanted to let people like him, they would both handle a conversation with a sexy lady totally differently. The first would try to hit home how great HE was, and sell himself as a great person to get jiggy with. He would try to get her to like him. Of course, as I said before, people never do anything other than what they want to do.
The second would do what Carnegie suggests. He would talk about the girl, he would let her talk, he would also give her the common courtesy of making an effort to remember her name. Why? Out of some contrived play to get her to like him? Rubbish! Why should he like to talk about himself? To a man with self worth, you are the most dull topic anyone can talk about! You do not need your ego stroked, and you will learn nothing new, so why converse over it?
No, this lesson comes from true self-esteem and love for macking. Loving the mack you can sort out now, but helping your self-esteem is something we will need to talk more about. Just remember, you should be talking to the girl about herself not to screw her, but because you are interested.
As a side note, if you forget all she says other than her name it will be of more importance to her than vice versa. That is how much effort you should make on remembering that fact. Why? Because you love it!
4) Make them feel important
This is a relatively minor point, though it is one central to Carnegie's technique. I'm sticking it in now because to forget it is suicide. FOR MY WORD KEEP YOUR HUMILITY. You may be reading some great stuff here, and you may soon become a better seducer than all your mates, but that does not make you better than them. That said, you wouldn't be better than them should you be king of the world and they your subjects, that's just the way of things. They are however different. If you really take this series to heart and trancend the rat race of seeking support, acceptance and most of all importance to fortify your flagging self-esteem, remember that others have not.
I hope on my word you will read this and it will help. I hope you sort out your mind and build your self esteem up. However, even if you don't need acceptance or ego-stroking, others do. Give it to them and they will pave your way with gold, deny them it and they will go out of their way to trip you up. Remember this, don't get ****y or complacent, but remember other people probably don't think like you.
5) Avoid Arguement
I WANT ATTENTION TO BE DRAWN TO THIS! If you are finding it hard to get anything to work I have to say it is more than likely down to self esteem. If you truely don't have it, no matter what you think, it will taint your attempts in anything.
What separates the successes from the stagnations on this site is self-esteem.
Think that one through, if you are finding things difficult, or ineffective, this is probably the reason. Remember too that acting confident or even arrogant does not mean you are. I was told by my friend that under my ****y front she thought i was still quite sensitive inside. YOU NEED A FEMALE FRIEND IS ALL I CAN SAY! Those girls can smell a **** in the well, and sensitivity, low self-esteem, lack of self belief- these a real floaters.
I'm going to go all out on this, because I need to.
Why argue? Really, why? I must say now I'm divorcing all talk here from professional life in general, but even there does this apply. Argueing is the voice of the insecure. You don't make someone change their mind by argueing, all you manage to do is reinforce your beliefs and encourage him to stoop to your level to reinforce his. Why do you try to reinforce it? To look big, because really you weren't totally sure or you needed the ego boost.
I want you to sit down and think about how frequently you argue, you get emotional, you lash out, you shout, you wish hurt on another, you cry even. These bursts of emotion are the reflexes of a sensitive, insecure person.
One little point here, violence goes into this category for the best part too. If you hit someone because of something they said or did, it is showing it got to you. If it got to you you are insecure. Of course, that crap about ignoring it mothers shovel down their son's throats is crap too, it doesn't stop you being insecure. If you don't like what someone is saying about you look at yourself and work out how they are hitting a nerve. Of course, for me violence is all fine and dandy if you're doing it professionally. This is no mindset for pussies here, this is a real mindset for men who act and do business, not take it out on someone when they get called names. Think about this for a second, if you've ever kicked someone's ass in HS it was probably because you were being a wimp.
Back to the point at hand, a high self-esteem will mean that you don't need to validate yourself to others. If you're not trying your hardest to tell everyone you are great, because no one really needs to know it but you, you can try making other people feel good instead. Why? Because you can do that by talking with them, and you will grow to love that.
I bet there has been at least one point in your life recently that you have felt a need to "stand up for yourself", and you've wanted to hurt someone because what they said made you feel bad.
If they have then there is something about yourself you are not happy with or have not accepted yet.
I will finish this later on, but at the moment, come to accept, if the above applies to you, that your self esteem is holding you back because you thought you could out think what you feel. Accept the problem and get ready to solve it.
In this, the second part, we will look at the second five topics of Carnegie's book. Please the preceding part if you have not done so already, and reply with what you think of it. I would gladly expand on parts that I have not articulated well.
So far, the mindset I am evangelising is one of enjoyment, passivity and helping of others. It's not sounding very Don Juan at the moment is it! However, I will expand.
The areas of Carnegie's book to be looked at now are:
1) Remember names
2) Listen intently
3) Talk to your audience's interests
These will be used to further explain a love for macking
4) Make them feel important
This will be used to explain the way you should think about others
5) Avoid argument
This will be used to explain when confontation should be used
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1) Remember names
2) Listen intently
3) Talk to your audience's interests
As I said previously, being a "Don Juan" should be fun. I'm sure if things aren't going so well you know they aren't because you aren't enjoying things. This is a vicious cycle. If you aren't truely -loving- macking onto a girl, she'll pick it up. No one wants to sit there while the other person conveys the message "I'm not attracted to you" right in their face, which is what you'll be inadvertently doing.
Let's clarify this common mistake in mindsets too, and solve a dilema at the same time. Ok- so you've got the love-stricken AFC who heaps affection on a girl, which is bad. Then you've got a slightly stand offish Don who a girl can't pin down, which is good. But isn't showing you are attracted to a girl good? I'm going to stop now, but you get the idea.
Well let's look at the lessons to illustrate the answer. Firstly, we all like girls, we all want girls. Let's not divulge into the depths of asexuality here and ride that masculinity! You are here because you want girls, now sit down and spend 10 minutes making sure that when you go up to a girl you make it damn sure that she knows and you know that you are there because you find her attractive. How? AFC adoration perchance? NO! You just need to get it into your head that it's ok to find a girl attarctive. If you start phrasing that like "I want to **** her" or "I want to marry her", you need more work, because if you're swinging one of these ways you're missing out on part of the experience.
You will let her know this, which is the natural thing to happen, by enjoying being with her. She'll feel happy, you'll feel happy, and as long as you get in the sexual stuff like kino you're set. If you want to mix in with some of the unpredictable shenanegans it goes in later as a singular point. Basicly, you act attracted but then do something that raises doubt, not vice versa.
Back to the lessons, I wish to use this point to explain further to idea in Part I about making people want to be attracted to you, "letting them want to have your babies".
If there were two men, one who wanted to make people like him and the other who wanted to let people like him, they would both handle a conversation with a sexy lady totally differently. The first would try to hit home how great HE was, and sell himself as a great person to get jiggy with. He would try to get her to like him. Of course, as I said before, people never do anything other than what they want to do.
The second would do what Carnegie suggests. He would talk about the girl, he would let her talk, he would also give her the common courtesy of making an effort to remember her name. Why? Out of some contrived play to get her to like him? Rubbish! Why should he like to talk about himself? To a man with self worth, you are the most dull topic anyone can talk about! You do not need your ego stroked, and you will learn nothing new, so why converse over it?
No, this lesson comes from true self-esteem and love for macking. Loving the mack you can sort out now, but helping your self-esteem is something we will need to talk more about. Just remember, you should be talking to the girl about herself not to screw her, but because you are interested.
As a side note, if you forget all she says other than her name it will be of more importance to her than vice versa. That is how much effort you should make on remembering that fact. Why? Because you love it!
4) Make them feel important
This is a relatively minor point, though it is one central to Carnegie's technique. I'm sticking it in now because to forget it is suicide. FOR MY WORD KEEP YOUR HUMILITY. You may be reading some great stuff here, and you may soon become a better seducer than all your mates, but that does not make you better than them. That said, you wouldn't be better than them should you be king of the world and they your subjects, that's just the way of things. They are however different. If you really take this series to heart and trancend the rat race of seeking support, acceptance and most of all importance to fortify your flagging self-esteem, remember that others have not.
I hope on my word you will read this and it will help. I hope you sort out your mind and build your self esteem up. However, even if you don't need acceptance or ego-stroking, others do. Give it to them and they will pave your way with gold, deny them it and they will go out of their way to trip you up. Remember this, don't get ****y or complacent, but remember other people probably don't think like you.
5) Avoid Arguement
I WANT ATTENTION TO BE DRAWN TO THIS! If you are finding it hard to get anything to work I have to say it is more than likely down to self esteem. If you truely don't have it, no matter what you think, it will taint your attempts in anything.
What separates the successes from the stagnations on this site is self-esteem.
Think that one through, if you are finding things difficult, or ineffective, this is probably the reason. Remember too that acting confident or even arrogant does not mean you are. I was told by my friend that under my ****y front she thought i was still quite sensitive inside. YOU NEED A FEMALE FRIEND IS ALL I CAN SAY! Those girls can smell a **** in the well, and sensitivity, low self-esteem, lack of self belief- these a real floaters.
I'm going to go all out on this, because I need to.
Why argue? Really, why? I must say now I'm divorcing all talk here from professional life in general, but even there does this apply. Argueing is the voice of the insecure. You don't make someone change their mind by argueing, all you manage to do is reinforce your beliefs and encourage him to stoop to your level to reinforce his. Why do you try to reinforce it? To look big, because really you weren't totally sure or you needed the ego boost.
I want you to sit down and think about how frequently you argue, you get emotional, you lash out, you shout, you wish hurt on another, you cry even. These bursts of emotion are the reflexes of a sensitive, insecure person.
One little point here, violence goes into this category for the best part too. If you hit someone because of something they said or did, it is showing it got to you. If it got to you you are insecure. Of course, that crap about ignoring it mothers shovel down their son's throats is crap too, it doesn't stop you being insecure. If you don't like what someone is saying about you look at yourself and work out how they are hitting a nerve. Of course, for me violence is all fine and dandy if you're doing it professionally. This is no mindset for pussies here, this is a real mindset for men who act and do business, not take it out on someone when they get called names. Think about this for a second, if you've ever kicked someone's ass in HS it was probably because you were being a wimp.
Back to the point at hand, a high self-esteem will mean that you don't need to validate yourself to others. If you're not trying your hardest to tell everyone you are great, because no one really needs to know it but you, you can try making other people feel good instead. Why? Because you can do that by talking with them, and you will grow to love that.
I bet there has been at least one point in your life recently that you have felt a need to "stand up for yourself", and you've wanted to hurt someone because what they said made you feel bad.
If they have then there is something about yourself you are not happy with or have not accepted yet.
I will finish this later on, but at the moment, come to accept, if the above applies to you, that your self esteem is holding you back because you thought you could out think what you feel. Accept the problem and get ready to solve it.
