Doing things by yourself

[JohnChops]

Recently i find myself in a predicament. My friends are as lame as can be, from previous thread, and Im not one to be sedimentary. So one of my main hobbies for winter is snowboarding. I used to go with friends all the time, but they legit just stopped this year -__-. I dont want to stop so im toying with the idea of going alone. Music in, block everything out and its just me and the mountainess fun . And i decided to take up airsoft (i love guns ) so i wana start playing that. I have one friend that plays but hes usually busy so id go alone sometimes.

Now the real question, what do you guys think about doing your hobbies alone? And doing things along in general? Do you feel like a loner or a loser because your doing things alone? Im just curious to see what you guys think, im not used to doing things without atleast one other person with me.

 

[Mike32ct]

It's a must today. If you depend on other people, you won't do anything.

Everybody has an excuse: no money, can't get the time off from work or due to school, my gf/wife won't let me, etc.

I go out alone, vacation alone, joined ballroom dance class alone, etc. I accepted six years ago that nobody is gonna help Mike32ct do stuff or necessarily be interested in accompanying me when I do stuff.

Do it alone or it doesn't happen. Sure, if you have the opportunity to do stuff with friends, that's great. But don't depend on it or let it hold you back.

F what society thinks. If you have to unleash your inner lone wolf to get stuff done, do it.

 

[btownbuck2012]

Now the real question, what do you guys think about doing your hobbies alone? And doing things along in general? Do you feel like a loner or a loser because your doing things alone? Im just curious to see what you guys think, im not used to doing things without atleast one other person with me.

People who used to spend a-lot of time around the late, great Bernie Mac said he'd always say "I walk alone, I walk alone".

Back in college I used to go to football games by myself and yell my ass off because I love college football. Usually, by the end of the game I'd be cool with the people sitting around me. I go to Open mic nights by myself. I've driven half way across the country by myself for job interviews. I love doing **** by myself. Doing things by yourself will give you more confidence and help you realize things about yourself, i.e. what you like, who you want to become.

 

[JohnChops]

Hell yeah Mike I like that attitude. You really can not count on anyone for anything anymore. Also congrats on breaking the dry spell buddy .

Btown, thanks for the advice. You always hit home.

Question for you both: At first do you guys feel awkward doing things alone ? Or do youjust dive in it with im gonna fvcking do this attitude?

Society today really does have this thing about being lonely and doing things with people. But what happens when people arent around , it does seem silly to let other people keep you from being bored you know. Gah time to go get my snowboard waxed up, im hitting up the mountains this weekend! Thanks fellas i really do appreciate it.

 

[btownbuck2012]

Hell yeah Mike I like that attitude. You really can not count on anyone for anything anymore. Also congrats on breaking the dry spell buddy .

Btown, thanks for the advice. You always hit home.

Question for you both: At first do you guys feel awkward doing things alone ? Or do youjust dive in it with im gonna fvcking do this attitude?

Society today really does have this thing about being lonely and doing things with people. But what happens when people arent around , it does seem silly to let other people keep you from being bored you know. Gah time to go get my snowboard waxed up, im hitting up the mountains this weekend! Thanks fellas i really do appreciate it.

Yeah, there have been a bunch of times I've felt nervous. But the key is to just push through. 99% of people are always very cautious when they're out in public to make sure they're "acting" right.

Forget that. Always pursue things which truly interest you EVEN if you have to pursue them alone. Use your passion and energy for these things, in your case snowboarding, to help you get over the fear of doing it alone. You'll find that doing it alone and being by yourself is only the beginning. Once you've transcended the idea that being out in public and doing things by yourself in public is strange, you'll find a whole other world of opportunity.

 

[Quiksilver]

Recently i find myself in a predicament. My friends are as lame as can be, from previous thread, and Im not one to be sedimentary. So one of my main hobbies for winter is snowboarding. I used to go with friends all the time, but they legit just stopped this year -__-. I dont want to stop so im toying with the idea of going alone. Music in, block everything out and its just me and the mountainess fun . And i decided to take up airsoft (i love guns ) so i wana start playing that. I have one friend that plays but hes usually busy so id go alone sometimes.

Now the real question, what do you guys think about doing your hobbies alone? And doing things along in general? Do you feel like a loner or a loser because your doing things alone? Im just curious to see what you guys think, im not used to doing things without atleast one other person with me.

Only doing something because others are doing it, is a sure sign of being a follower.

A leader does something, regardless of others.



If you want to go boarding, just say this:

"Hey guys, I'm goin snowboarding this weekend. If anyone wants to come meet me here at 7AM but don't be late"

If they want to come, that is their gain or loss.

But you, you are going anyways.



Whenever I go hiking in the mountains here or surfing at the beach or rock climbing, and other stuff ... I tell my friends what im doing and invite them along. Most of the time at least one of them comes, but many times they decline for one reason or another.

But I go have fun anyways.

If not being alone is a prerequisite to enjoying your life, then you'll always be a follower. 95% of people are followers though, so don't worry you won't be alone.

 

[JohnChops]

I fvcking love this site so much. Sosuave, seriously Utah looks like an amazing place to board. Always wanted to take a trip out there because every single snowboard video is either in utah or Colorado as far as the states go.

@Quicksilver, its not so much that i need other people to be around while im doing things its more of im used to it you know? I need to learn to transition is all. Hehe, i do enjoy my own company anyway

@btown - hell yeah man, ive jsut realized that doing it alone is a stress reliever in itself as well. Just gliding down the mountain, one with nature , (lol) and just relaxing.

 

[Mike32ct]

Hell yeah Mike I like that attitude. You really can not count on anyone for anything anymore. Also congrats on breaking the dry spell buddy .

Thanks

Btown, thanks for the advice. You always hit home.

Question for you both: At first do you guys feel awkward doing things alone ? Or do youjust dive in it with im gonna fvcking do this attitude?

Society today really does have this thing about being lonely and doing things with people. But what happens when people arent around , it does seem silly to let other people keep you from being bored you know. Gah time to go get my snowboard waxed up, im hitting up the mountains this weekend! Thanks fellas i really do appreciate it.

It does feel awkward initially, no doubt. It's exactly like approach anxiety. Scary at first, but you push through it. Then the fun stuff starts . This will happen nearly every time you stretch your comfort zone and try something new alone. It's normal. Embrace it.

It all started when I had this vacation planned with a buddy in 2006. Then he backed out at the last minute because he "really didn't have the money."

I got on the plane without him. It was awkward at first. As they were closing the cabin door, my thoughts were "WTF am I doing?"

At that point, I sat back and thought "Screw him. I'm outta here." Anyway, I had a kick a$s time. I only travel alone now.

Even at my age, I wanted to try ballroom dance, but it was scary because it was new. I sat in the car prior to class (much like sitting on the plane) thinking "I think I'm just gonna go home. This is silly." I pushed myself to walk in and meet the instructor. Anyway, she couldn't have been nicer. Four months later, she moved me up to the next level class because of my progress.

So what I want you to take from this is some doubts are NORMAL, especially when you go it alone with nobody to support you. Push through that sh$t and go forward.

Even my lay report was with a lady that I didn't think would like me. I was ready to eject without having talked to her.

 

[sageproduct]

Hells yeah I'm a habitual lone wolf.

Even when I'm chilling with my friends on Friday night and I want to go sarge, I tell everyone "Yo I'm goin out to try to meet some girls, anyone who wants to come with can join me." Many times this ends up in me being alone. One guy who I newly became friends with this year was a rare one who would take me up on this offer. Common interests/goals is a great way to make friends.

 

[JohnChops]

It does feel awkward initially, no doubt. It's exactly like approach anxiety. Scary at first, but you push through it. Then the fun stuff starts . This will happen nearly every time you stretch your comfort zone and try something new alone. It's normal. Embrace it.

It all started when I had this vacation planned with a buddy in 2006. Then he backed out at the last minute because he "really didn't have the money."

I got on the plane without him. It was awkward at first. As they were closing the cabin door, my thoughts were "WTF am I doing?"

At that point, I sat back and thought "Screw him. I'm outta here." Anyway, I had a kick a$s time. I only travel alone now.

Even at my age, I wanted to try ballroom dance, but it was scary because it was new. I sat in the car prior to class (much like sitting on the plane) thinking "I think I'm just gonna go home. This is silly." I pushed myself to walk in and meet the instructor. Anyway, she couldn't have been nicer. Four months later, she moved me up to the next level class because of my progress.

So what I want you to take from this is some doubts are NORMAL, especially when you go it alone with nobody to support you. Push through that sh$t and go forward.

Even my lay report was with a lady that I didn't think would like me. I was ready to eject without having talked to her.

oh sh1t i never thought of traveling alone but seriously once im 21 its a huge possibility. I feel like if i get real comfortable with myself then i can have a good time in any state doing anything!

My real good friend, always broke, always backs out because of money. It sucks man. Thats why when he told me "Oh were not gonna be able to snowboard this year cause im broke" I simply said "damn man get your ass a job so you can board with me! ill be going either way "

 

[5string]

All posts above are great, however I would like to add something. IMO, being alone from time to time is good for the mind and soul. I need a little "downtime" with my bad self now and then and sometimes, would rather not have anyone around for a given activity that I enjoy.

Good medicine in my book.

 

[goundra]

sedimentary means "made out of mud",homeboy. I think that you meant sedentary, as in sitting around?

 

[goundra]

I went, alone, to world champ combat pistol matches in Africa, 1977 and 79, in Rhodesia (civil war on at the time) and had to save and borrow for 6 months to pay for it, both times. Am SO glad that I did so. Met a lot of neat people, to include an belgian Ex-paratrooper-mercenary, a german Dentist, a New Zealand photographer, japanese multimillionaire, S. African Pro hunter, an Englishman, Some very fine people.

 

[JohnChops]

sedimentary means "made out of mud",homeboy. I think that you meant sedentary, as in sitting around?

lol just saw that. Im made out of rock haha. My phone's auto correct did that . Jesus you like to travel huh? Ive been looking to go out of the country for sure, was the experiences worth it ?

 

[PRMoon]

I have just one friend who I spend any amount of measurable time with. It's been that way since I was a teenager. Sure I have lots of friends but I absolutely refuse to have a "clique" in any shape or form. That group think stuff just cramps my style. I like keeping it simple and that means doing what I want or cooling with some one who thinks sort of the way I do.

 

[Mike32ct]

I went, alone, to world champ combat pistol matches in Africa, 1977 and 79, in Rhodesia (civil war on at the time) and had to save and borrow for 6 months to pay for it, both times. Am SO glad that I did so. Met a lot of neat people, to include an belgian Ex-paratrooper-mercenary, a german Dentist, a New Zealand photographer, japanese multimillionaire, S. African Pro hunter, an Englishman, Some very fine people.

Absolutely. It's easier to meet people when you are alone. With a buddy, it's too easy to cling to the familiar and only talk to him.

 

[JohnChops]

Absolutely. It's easier to meet people when you are alone. With a buddy, it's too easy to cling to the familiar and only talk to him.

I find that true as well fellas. When im by myself, at a club or at starbucks, you find it easy to talk with people around you because their alone as well. A+ to that post!

 

[goundra]

I wouldn't say that I like to travel per se, I have not been out of the US for many years, I would not have bothered were it not to attend the shooting matches,and doubt that I would do so again, for THAT style of match at least, because I no longer consider such shooting to be the practical sort of defensive "training" that I thought it was (35 years ago).