Doesn't Marriage go Completely against Nature?

[Production6257]

I have been thinking about it, and to me marriage seems like a huge farce. In all species, it is in the male's nature to spread his seed. Also, once a women knows that she has a man, the spark is gone for her. There are even studies that show that after a year of seeing each other, interest levels drop dramatically. All of these signs that marriage isn't the be-all and end-all, yet the majority of us (including me), are probably going to get married!

There is a huge social stigma against people that don't get married. It is almost a trap because even if you decide not to get married, most if not all of your friends will, and then you kind of become an outcast. Many single people tend to be very lonely as they get older, and even they eventually fall into the trap. I get nervous about this because there are so many things that I want to do with my life, but I also don't want to become a outcast/loner. It makes me kind of sad.

 

[J Roc]

! There is a huge social stigma against people that don't get married. It is almost a trap because even if you decide not to get married, most if not all of your friends will, and then you kind of become an outcast. Many single people tend to be very lonely as they get older, and even they eventually fall into the trap. I get nervous about this because there are so many things that I want to do with my life, but I also don't want to become a outcast/loner. It makes me kind of sad.

if friends outcast a person because they are single then they aren't really true friends and its time for that person to get new friends.

I dont see how a single person will be "lonely". I'm single and I love it. I dont need a woman on my side 24/7 in order to feel happy.

 

[blueguy]

Controlling the frame of your own life (happiness) is *most* important.

Do not sacrifice happiness for loneliness.

My Dad is not lonely. But he's depressed. Because he's trapped by his own emotions.

Did he see it coming? No. He was happy in the first little while he was married. But incompatibilities eventually revealed themselves. Yet they remain married out just that - the of fear of loneliness.

You will find the same pattern among a lot of other married people.

Many older couples will fight and bicker. They do not seem happy, yet they do not divorce. It is a sad sight to see.

*Most* people who get married you will find did it for the number one reason of (you guessed it) fear of dying alone. (Although that ultimately cannot be avoided)

If it weren't for that, people would just live together - they wouldn't plan (all at once) an entire lifetime relationship to secure attention for their entire lifespan.

And *many* people who get married will sacrifice their frame just to avoid that loneliness.

I think it is in a man's nature to want to remain free. But the fact is that marriage has created a society where older men and women do not have options. Everybody is "taken." So people remain in a poor marriage because of lack of options - once again to avoid loneliness. Granted, this is changing.

One benefit of marriage is for the children. You cannot argue that.

Keep in mind that marriage is also a status symbol, and people will treat you differently if you remain single rather than marry.

But it is important to understand your negative emotions so that you can control them.

 

[Alphamale1821]

Well i'm just going to make sure that when i get married it's in a place that has the lesser penalites when getting a divorce. Like the biitch gets half of my shiit, when she may have not bought any of it. Along with Alimony and that shiit too. I'm going to make sure i sign a Prenup to.

 

[speakeasy]

I have been thinking about it, and to me marriage seems like a huge farce. In all species, it is in the male's nature to spread his seed.

And if people did that, you'd have a bunch of kids running around not knowing who their father is. Doesn't sound like something desirable to me.

Also, once a women knows that she has a man, the spark is gone for her. There are even studies that show that after a year of seeing each other, interest levels drop dramatically. All of these signs that marriage isn't the be-all and end-all, yet the majority of us (including me), are probably going to get married!

Well I was at the beach last weekend and saw an elderly man and woman walking into the sunset holding hands. That gave me a pleasant reminder that there ARE marriages that stand the test of time.

There is a huge social stigma against people that don't get married. It is almost a trap because even if you decide not to get married, most if not all of your friends will, and then you kind of become an outcast. Many single people tend to be very lonely as they get older, and even they eventually fall into the trap. I get nervous about this because there are so many things that I want to do with my life, but I also don't want to become a outcast/loner. It makes me kind of sad.

Well, definitely don't get married if you are not up to it, that would be pretty unfair to the woman you're with. But if you have found a great woman, the type that you would like to see be the mother of your kids one day, why not marry her?

 

[speakeasy]

if friends outcast a person because they are single then they aren't really true friends and its time for that person to get new friends.

I dont see how a single person will be "lonely". I'm single and I love it. I dont need a woman on my side 24/7 in order to feel happy.

You might not feel the same way if you are single at age 47. The thing is, most people prefer to socialize with people of their same age because they usually relate in having a similar level of maturity and life's experiences. If you go on and on as a single man and all your friends and people you work with and family members have families and kids, you will stop having the ability to relate to them because their lives and experiences will start to drastically differ from the single person's as they have family priorities to worry about.

So it's no surprise that lonliness will intensify as you get older, unless you find a group of older people your age that are also single, but let's face it, older, never married people are a very small minority.

I think for a lot of people who evetually give in and get married, the pain of being lonely(not lonely in the absense of a partner, but lonely in that there are fewer and fewer people they can relate to as they older) overcomes the pain of losing their freedom by marrying.

 

[J Roc]

You might not feel the same way if you are single at age 47.

If I happened to be single at 47 and all of my friends looked down upon me because I was single then I would simply get new friends/acquittances and have an array of women to keep me company if i ever felt "lonely". A single 47 year old man with a decent job will have a nice house, nice car(s) and an abundance of expendable cash. He can travel the world and pick up women anywhere he goes. I hardly doubt he would be lonely with a variety of women on his arm.

 

[speakeasy]

If I happened to be single at 47 and all of my friends looked down upon me because I was single then I would simply get new friends/acquittances and have an array of women to keep me company if i ever felt "lonely". A single 47 year old man with a decent job will have a nice house, nice car(s) and an abundance of expendable cash. He can travel the world and pick up women anywhere he goes. I hardly doubt he would be lonely with a variety of women on his arm.

Getting p*ssy does not cure lonliness. Only a special connection with another human cures lonliness.

 

[Bonhomme]

I think marriage goes against most men's nature, but jibes with most women's nature.

 

[backbreaker]

nail on the head bonhomme... better stated...

the guys who are looking for a woman to marry are guys who aren't happy with their own lives.

I have nothing agaqinst marriage even though I dont' beleive in it. however one should not be married utnil he is 110% happy with himself. just like any relationship.

marriage is no different in that sense than a LTR. Most guys "need" that LTR and that LTR easily becomes marriage because it's the "next step".

 

[Blusher]

Also, once a women knows that she has a man, the spark is gone for her. There are even studies that show that after a year of seeing each other, interest levels drop dramatically. All of these signs that marriage isn't the be-all and end-all, yet the majority of us (including me), are probably going to get married!

Sometimes I wondered if any of you has ever been truly loved, ever. Even by your mother. Because if you have to rely on studies to chose wether or not to believe in love, it looks pretty much hopeless...

I have loved, I have been loved and my GF loves me and oop! it's been two years, if anything, the feelings grew stronger and the connection deeper but I guess you have to experience it.

Learn to let go and just live for Pete's sake.

Well I was at the beach last weekend and saw an elderly man and woman walking into the sunset holding hands. That gave me a pleasant reminder that there ARE marriages that stand the test of time.

Maybe he had just picked her up and was bringing her back to a motel for an ONS. :crackup:

 

[blueguy]

...Learn to let go and just live for Pete's sake...

But therein lies the problem:

You can't just let go and live in a marriage. There are expectations, responsibilities, incompatibilities that require compromise, insecurities and a resulted loss of freedom!

 

[Obsidian]

John Locke said that mating was designed to be long-term for the more complex animals (including humans and many carnivores) because, in their case, two parents were necessary to raise the children until they became full adults.

In contrast, a baby cow just has to learn how to eat grass.

 

[Falcon]

Pook wrote an awesome article not long ago on his blog about marriage. He mentioned things like how important marriage was because of reasons like heritage and family line. Nowadays no one cares about family. It really has nothing to do with marriage and all to do with family. Destruction of family=Destruction of marriage.

I don't want to throw this thread off course, but there are some 'conspiracy' theories that give a good explanation to the things that are happening behind the scenes.

 

[bigjohnson]

In all species, it is in the male's nature to spread his seed.

I'm pretty sure this is false.

 

[Last Man Standing]

It is unnatural to marry a hor and very natural to marry a woman!!!

What is this shyt about "spreading our seed" - you Darwin fanatics are running amok in this forum!! It is about taking care of your seed that is dominant and NOT putting your wee-wee in a stank-hole!!!

 

[Falcon]

What is this shyt about "spreading our seed" - you Darwin fanatics are running amok in this forum!! It is about taking care of your seed that is dominant and NOT putting your wee-wee in a stank-hole!!!

:rockon:

 

[blueguy]

It is unnatural to marry a hor and very natural to marry a woman!!!

What is this shyt about "spreading our seed" - you Darwin fanatics are running amok in this forum!! It is about taking care of your seed that is dominant and NOT putting your wee-wee in a stank-hole!!!

LMS, have you ever been married?

 

[jtrain 289]

na its part of nature trust me after a while most people just want to settle down for one person . The only reason the wife gets bored is the husband stops being a challenge. And its very easy to remain a challenge Marriage is 100 percent part of nature. You may not want to get married now but soon you will trust me.

 

[Last Man Standing]

LMS, have you ever been married?

No. Always wanted to be married but I have found none worthy of such a commitment.