Does society give men any value in the dating game??

[vorbis]

This is probably a rant but hopefully it also raises a good point. I guess I fundamentally don't understand the american dating process. Nowadays, it seems expected for the guy to keep chasing for every step??

I'm basing this off the girls I've dated the last while. My understanding in general was that society believes you chase the woman until you have sex then some of the power shifts back onto the guy as the woman has given it up. As in the guy could just choose to walk away at this point so the woman has to do more as such to keep him around.

Instead I seem to be meeting women who seem to believe that having sex makes no difference to the dynamic. Case in point, I got a number off a HB6 there a few weeks back. She was very excited giving me the number. When texting back and forth, she didn't initiate much. I tried the first week to schedule a date. She said she would love to but that she couldn't make it. No rescheduling offer.

I got her out to a bar the week after. Again I had to lead everything. But once I had her out, chatted to her and brought her back to my place to bang with no problems whatsoever. Its obvious she really enjoyed herself and talking to me at the time about hanging out again blah blah.

I have another girl I prefer to her but this one would be handy as a f**k buddy. I text her a few days later and no reply for 3 days?? I mean really, you're expecting me to chase you after I just f**ked you. Are guys really being that desperate these days? I'm sitting here thinking does she not realize she gave it up on the first date (not something that bothers me).

I've had a girl I wanted to see again from a ONS play the cool game as well. She booty calls me the Saturday after we hook up. I'm not nearby. She has finals all last week so I invite her out to join me and my friends at the weekend. She sounds excited about it but then totally blows it off. This week I'm like what?? Are women now viewing having sex as meaning nothing in the dating game??

I mean when I get this stuff off a girl I haven't had sex with, I understand it. But what are these women playing at? I feel like someone who hasn't been let in on the full picture.

 

[Warrior74]

This isn't about society. This is about you and your inner game. Your value. Don't hang it on society and blah blah blah mental wanking that throws this MM board into frenzy of JKing, theorizing and bullcrap. Just ask the damn question already, Why isn't the ball in your court now? Why isn't she jocking you?

Number one. your complaining about contacting and leading? That's what you are suppose to do. Most women do that in my experience, usually the ones with less self esteem are the ones calling me 247 and wanting to stay on the phone 247. Most women are smart enough or have read enough cosmo to know not to seem to eager and to make him wait. Rules shyte.

Number two. You waited several days to contact her, she waited several days to contact you. What's the problem? You want her to jump up and hit you back asap eh? She's playing the game too and your loosing already if you are worried about it enough to post.

Number three. I think you think just because she's a 6 she should be desperate to be with you.

You want this chick to chase you now that you hit it and that didn't happen. What do you do next? Give her a shout, she can get back to you, or not, who cares. Move on to the next one. If she contacts you, put her in the rotation. It's just business man. The business of getting your rocks off.

Oh and phone calls > text message. Good luck.

 

[Jitterbug]

I mean when I get this stuff off a girl I haven't had sex with, I understand it. But what are these women playing at? I feel like someone who hasn't been let in on the full picture.

Heh, I posted a thread asking this same question about 2 years ago. Girl that I banged a few times, appeared to be really into me then all of a sudden played hard to get just like we only started dating & no sex had happened. I thought what the hell and just walked away. Turned out that it was her friends advising her to do so, and I think they didn't know that we already slept with each other a few times.

Whatever, she disqualified herself for being dumb.

Are guys really being that desperate these days?

Sadly, the answer is yes.

 

[vorbis]

Make me wait for what???
Thats my whole point, I've banged both these women and they're both playing very similar "play it cool" game. I don't get the point of it. That's what I'm asking. Warrior76 you're saying women can still expect to get chased just as hard after the sex stage.

Regards the HB6, I asked a question in the text and she took a few days to reply to that message. Typically, I respond to texts that ask me something a bit quicker than that.

The whole subject of texting is a whole other matter. All I can say is that my results have significantly improved since I've adopted a texting only strategy with younger women. I start the texting going the day after getting their number. Its working out a fair bit better than the wait a few days and call them strategy at least for me.

I tried to ring the HB6 one day, she texted back the next day apologizing for missing my call. I've banged her and never once actually spoken to her on the phone. Kept up an entirely texting conversation for 2 weeks from the D1 to the D2.

 

[mrRuckus]

Most women are smart enough or have read enough cosmo to know not to seem to eager and to make him wait. Rules shyte.

Smart enough? All it does is aggravate me and cause me not to pursue.

The ones that are actively showing signals and trying to keep in touch so i won't forget about them are the best ones that i want to see. Stroking my ego goes a long way.

I'm not much of a chaser at all. I get no thrill. I like the ones with genuine interest that are excited to finally have met a guy like me.

 

[squirrels]

That's one of the downsides to having sex with a girl when little rapport has been established.

Ever hook up with a girl for a one-night stand at a bar and then try to go on a DATE date with her afterward? How often does that REALLY work?

Are these women into you? Or do they just want to get their rocks off with a swinging-d*ck like yourself?

You're proceeding from an old paradigm, where back in the day, once you had sex with a woman, she automatically assumed romantic entanglement. Modern feminized women aren't like that. You can knock it out, but once you want to DATE date, she is going to evaluate you on how fun you are to hang out with, not how well you f*ck.

Date your steady girl (or 2 or 3 of them) and keep your booty-calls as just that...booty-calls.

 

[zekko]

The ones that are actively showing signals and trying to keep in touch so i won't forget about them are the best ones that i want to see. Stroking my ego goes a long way.

Funny how guys seem to want a woman who goes gaga for them while women want a guy who DOESN'T go gaga over them.

That's a pretty sweeping generalization, loaded with lots of exceptions, but there's some truth to it.

 

[samspade]

I'm basing this off the girls I've dated the last while. My understanding in general was that society believes you chase the woman until you have sex then some of the power shifts back onto the guy as the woman has given it up. As in the guy could just choose to walk away at this point so the woman has to do more as such to keep him around.

You are confusing chasing with leading. You should always be leading. It may appear as "chasing" to her. Just remember this little maxim: With any woman, give back 66.67 percent of what she gives you. If a woman is waiting three days to return your call, wait five days to return hers. Keep your texts brief if you text at all - one word game. If she pulls back, you pull back a little bit more; if she skips town, so be it. You have better things to do than chase.

 

[jophil28]

Funny how guys seem to want a woman who goes gaga for them while women want a guy who DOESN'T go gaga over

And perhaps in that statement ( which is true enough IMO) lies the answer to the OP's question.

 

[jophil28]

That's one of the downsides to having sex with a girl when little rapport has been established.

Ever hook up with a girl for a one-night stand at a bar and then try to go on a DATE date with her afterward? How often does that REALLY work?

True.

Is is possible that women who pull away after a ONS are demonstrating a kind of LMR, post factum.

IT certainly is a case of her closing the gate after the horse has bolted.
However, that "dstancing" tthat the OP is decribing makes little sense until you look at it as either belated LMR, or 'buyer's remorse' .

 

[Luthor Rex]

Are women now viewing having sex as meaning nothing in the dating game??

I think it's been like this for a while now.

 

[Luthor Rex]

Smart enough? All it does is aggravate me and cause me not to pursue.

I agree with you: absence doesn't make my heart grow fonder, absence makes my eyes wander.

I'm not much of a chaser at all. I get no thrill. I like the ones with genuine interest that are excited to finally have met a guy like me.

Sometimes being lazy is a great way to filter out game players and low-interest women.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Vorbis,
For many Girls,jumping in the sack and performing a few tricks,means not much more than shaking hands,such a Woman will quite naturally have lots of friends to pick from.
JoPhil writes,"Is is possible that women who pull away after a ONS are demonstrating a kind of LMR, post factum?"......Yeah can happen,perhaps they are like manufacturers who offer free samples,or Drug dealers who give School kids a sample"Tickle" to get them started.
But in the Main most went out that night because they were feeling frisky,maybe once a Week,Month or whenever suits their appetites,they don't want the hassles of stereotyped Relationships,afterall they are not one size suits all.

 

[Warrior74]

Smart enough? All it does is aggravate me and cause me not to pursue.

The ones that are actively showing signals and trying to keep in touch so i won't forget about them are the best ones that i want to see. Stroking my ego goes a long way.

I'm not much of a chaser at all. I get no thrill. I like the ones with genuine interest that are excited to finally have met a guy like me.

You know what I meant. That's the game with alot of these girls. He who gives less of a fvck wins. i don't make the rules, I just play the game.

 

[WaterTiger]

That's one of the downsides to having sex with a girl when little rapport has been established...You can knock it out, but once you want to DATE date, she is going to evaluate you on how fun you are to hang out with, not how well you f*ck.

A few things to think on gentlemen:

1-Why on earth would we want to date & invest time with a guy who's a bad f*ck?

2-Just because a girl is a "6", doesn't mean she can't get laid. There will alway be some guy willing to plow that field.

3-The "sex means romance" died an ugly death years ago. More and more women are thinking like men about sex. It's just getting your rocks off, it doesn't mean anything, because the person you're with doesn't mean anything to you. They are just a hook up.

 

[Tazman]

More and more women are thinking like men about sex.

I'd have to disagree with this. Women, absolutely, do not think like men about sex. How could they? It goes against their very nature, their biological makeup. Sure, they enjoy sex, but their motivation will never be the same as ours.

Maybe you could inject yourself with about 16x the level of testosterone that's already in your system and then, maybe then you could more accurately evaluate how men feel about sex.

These hormones are what separate us, it influences how we think and behave, unless women started to morph into men, they will never "think" like us.

 

[Luthor Rex]

I'd have to disagree with this. Women, absolutely, do not think like men about sex. How could they? It goes against their very nature, their biological makeup. Sure, they enjoy sex, but their motivation will never be the same as ours.

Women who are out of touch with their own humanity are doing this.

Maybe you could inject yourself with about 16x the level of testosterone that's already in your system and then, maybe then you could more accurately evaluate how men feel about sex.

This is actually a really good point. I think there was a NYTimes writer or some journalist who did this and she didn't like the results very much.

 

[Tazman]

Women who are out of touch with their own humanity are doing this.

Even then, I say it isn't because they're thinking more like men, they aren't doing it for the sake of sex. There's always something else attached to it, some other motivation.

 

[Luthor Rex]

Even then, I say it isn't because they're thinking more like men, they aren't doing it for the sake of sex. There's always something else attached to it, some other motivation.

I agree. I have noticed this as well: a lot of women give sexual displays (by dressing provocatively) or even have sex with men but not for the sake of sex. They seem to be motivated by a desire for power or greed and this all makes their egos feel good. Sometimes they do it out of self-destruction as well.

Yeah, a lot of modern "sex" really has little to do with sex.