Does Being in a Relationship hold you back?

[SW15]

I feel that being in a relationship creates a fog in my focus. It pushes me in the opposite way since I have to spend time with the chick instead of spending my evening until midnight on wealth creation.

Most men have the exact opposite problem. Men who aren't in relationships and aren't getting laid lack focus. Getting pussie and having a consistent girlfriend helps a lot of men focus. A lack of sex often creates a hyper focus on sex.

The chick I'm with is I consider her smart, PHD, good job, good money.

A woman's work means nothing in terms of her attractiveness. In general, women with advanced degrees make terrible girlfriends.

we live together.

That's not good. It's also a violation of one of the Iron Rules of Tomassi. A lot of men think that living with a girlfriend will create sex on demand. It does not do that. It actually creates complacency and reduces the motivation for sex.

 

[BeExcellent]

So what they live together. Many men here have live in situations. It can be just fine.

Don’t be so judgemental about the situations other people choose for their lives based your arbitrary belief system.

If you don’t want to ever cohabitate with a woman that’s your choice but why the need to bash someone else who’s asking for perspective from others with different life experiences than you.

This spouting off about Rules of Tomossi and never live with a woman is like a drive by hit on a guy who’s looking for perspective in this thread.

Why you feel the need to do that I dunno. It seems unnecessary to me.

 

[Learning Curve]

Most men have the exact opposite problem. Men who aren't in relationships and aren't getting laid lack focus. Getting pussie and having a consistent girlfriend helps a lot of men focus. A lack of sex often creates a hyper focus on sex.



A woman's work means nothing in terms of her attractiveness. In general, women with advanced degrees make terrible girlfriends.



That's not good. It's also a violation of one of the Iron Rules of Tomassi. A lot of men think that living with a girlfriend will create sex on demand. It does not do that. It actually creates complacency and reduces the motivation for sex.

Agree on some aspects with you.

Also, did not choose this chick based on her qualifications but for her personality. I don't care about PHD's but it's something she has which gets her find jobs easier and make good money.

 

[Learning Curve]

OP,

This is more about deciding what is important to you in your life. Do you want to grind with 70 hour work weeks and have wealth? Or do you want to cultivate relationships where you get meaning from said relationships but maybe don't have quite the financial wherewithal that you would if you worked more? Like others have said, there are limited hours in a day and limited days in our lives and everything is a trade-off. Time is precious.

To answer your original question - yes, I have sometimes felt like being in a relationship holds me back from my individual purpose too. It is easy to get a rut in a relationship whereas when you are single with complete freedom you are much more likely to make changes in your life because you have no one else to worry about. But that goes for any close people in your life and not just women (kids especially). If this is just an LTR and you feel like you are being a held back, that is a situation that I think you need to address why you have that feeling of being held back. If it is negatively impacting you, I wouldn't be afraid to end it. Some of my most productive times in my life financially and socially (on a professional level) have come after my adult breakups from marriage and long-term LTRs.

I want to balance both in a way.

I know successful guys from my network that are able to do this and make **** ton of money. It's hard and demanding. Especially if you have kids which I don't.

I don't want to destroy my relationship because my allocated time on wealth is more, I'm looking for a balance. But having a balance means that the results you might get on spending 2 - 4 hours a day on something instead of 12 will be much different.

And here is where the work smart and not hard principle comes in, I suppose in this kind of situations. Balancing Life, Girlfriend, and getting to the point where you are able to sustain your hobbies, business and keeping your relationship in check.

It does not negatively impact me because I love the chick I'm with. It's more about how to allocate my time on wealth without making her feel like she is a piece of dirt that I only bang and set aside. Because this is what will happen if I spend 12 hours a day in the office.

 

[BeExcellent]

@Learning Curve are you sure?

Here’s why I ask. Have you sat down with your girlfriend and told her you are in a place where you believe 12 hour days at the office are going to be best for building wealth? A place where building wealth has a high priority for you in life? Have you asked her if she can get behind that idea?

Sometimes the best thing to do is be straight up and have a conversation.

 

[Learning Curve]

@Learning Curve are you sure?

Here’s why I ask. Have you sat down with your girlfriend and told her you are in a place where you believe 12 hour days at the office are going to be best for building wealth? A place where building wealth has a high priority for you in life? Have you asked her if she can get behind that idea?

Sometimes the best thing to do is be straight up and have a conversation.

I had this conversation, and she did not like the idea of me being in the office for long hours.

I believe if this happens the relationship will end.

So in this case, the solution could be for me to wake up even earlier daily to get more hours through the day. This is something that people in my network do who have big businesses and wife and kids.

The wake up at around 5:00 AM which gives them more hours to work on the business.

 

[Millard Fillmore]

@Learning Curve
Sometimes the best thing to do is be straight up and have a conversation.

This is almost always the best thing. Too many people are afraid to lose something if they tell the truth.