Do you married guys miss game?

[samspade]

Whassup married men and others. Hope you had a good holiday weekend.

I thought I'd pick your brains and get your opinions. I was wondering how many of you who are married miss game/seduction/DJ/pickup or whatever you might call it.

I've been married two years, and I'm having a blast with my wife. Love her. I won't go into details, just know that we have a great time together, she still gives me a boner, and I have nothing to complain about regarding my marriage or married life.

Yet sometimes I miss the thrill (and disappointment, if that sounds weird) of game. I don't even know if it's the sexual variety so much as the seduction process - talking to women and picking their locks. I still do it in a limited sense - as much as I can to be "the guy other women want" and keep my frame in my marriage. This may sound weird but it can actually be more difficult to keep flirting at a sober, not-crossing-the-line level than to be an all-out DJ. It's like I'm walking around with a secret I can't tell anybody.

I even miss getting rejected - because I always knew it was part of the game.

I don't always feel this way. It just festers sometimes and other times gets me feeling bad, like I'm less committed to my wife than she deserves. But I know these are just private feelings, not actions. Other times I think, at least I'm not the subjugating chump getting burned. And yes I remind myself that it's not all fun, that there are scores of lame, immature, flaky, disrespectful, slvtty, bytchy, narcissistic women out there that I used to sift through.

I'm wondering what you guys think. I was going to PM one or two of you but decided I'd put this out there. Of course in writing it sounds really immature and stupid. "You miss game?" It's not depressing me or anything, LOL. I'm a happy guy, with a good life, and it's clearly a nice "problem" to have. I'm just curious - any of you married guys still have that fire burning? Or is it enough to know deep down you can have any woman you want?

 

[Spinning Spinning]

OMG yes! Problem being women play the game because they know you're married so in a sense it's worse, you don't miss out on game, you just miss out on closing it.

 

[5string]

Don't miss it as it's much tougher and more of a challenge to game a wife. Have to be more astute, put forth better game and more effort.

 

[zekko]

I'm not married, but I cohabitate monogamously.

To me, it's all a question of balances. I do miss the game on some level, mainly the thrill of the unknown I guess. But I'm also glad I'm out of it, because I was tired of it and it can be a pain in the @ss.

On balance, I enjoy being with my girlfriend a lot more than I miss game, so that's how I set the priority. There's a lot more in life that's a compromise than people want to admit.

Sam, I know what you mean when you say it's harder to flirt when you can't cross a certain line. Everybody says if you're a taken man it's easy, the girls will want you. But the advantage the single guy has is he can dangle that fresh meat and say "Something really may happen". There's an excitement that comes with that. Because since I'm not going to cheat on my girl, no, it's not really going to happen.

But even in a monogamous relationship, you still want to know that you've still got it. So people flirt.

 

[samspade]

Thanks guys. Yeah that's the thing, I know I've got it good right now. But I suppose I feel like a retired ballplayer. There's a small void where my efforts used to go. (Or maybe I feel like Henry Hill at the end of Goodfellas, ha.)

I'm know there were many times when I was single that I thought, "man, I'm sick of chasing tail, I wouldn't mind just having an old lady to chill with tonight." The grass is always greener as they say.

I realize a lot of this has to do with ego so it sounds immature. Flirting and attraction feeds the ego. My wife also feeds my ego - I have no shortage of satisfaction in that regard. She really thinks I'm the bees knees, and the feeling is mutual. But part of that is she likes my internal bad boy - I couldn't have attracted her and maintained her interest without the little bastard. It's the same devil in me that wants to push the buttons of other women. All about balance and knowing when and when not to.

 

[konmai]

subbed.

 

[FairShake]

and disappointment, if that sounds weird

It DOES sound weird. I don't miss the disappointment at all. And, unfortunately, my single years were more disappointment than success.

I didn't start gaming women to validate my ego or prove a point. I started gaming them to have a good time. Marriage was a more consistent good time than singleness for me.

 

[samspade]

It DOES sound weird. I don't miss the disappointment at all. And, unfortunately, my single years were more disappointment than success.

I hear what you're saying. I learned a lot from my failures though, and I was always happy to be trying. Whenever I got rejected, I walked away with a smile on my face; it was fun for me.

 

[Reyaj]

sam your post really resonates on what I feel.... I actually feel better now reading it because I felt that I was just flawed or something...

Its the excitement, the hope, the thrill of the chase.... Let's face it marriage/LTR is mundane.

The disappointment and frustration realized when dealing with the modern day selfish, illogical and idiotic woman makes you appreciate what you have real fast though

 

[samspade]

I don't think my marriage is mundane. We have a lot of fun and it's been pretty interesting, actually. But it's true that the tension goes away with time. It's funny we had people staying with us for a week, and our walls our thin and our apartment is small so we didn't have sex the whole time. So of course that made for a week of "release" when we got the place to ourselves again.

Still, yesterday I found myself flirting with a store clerk, and a couple of other random girls while out running errands.

 

[Colossus]

I'm know there were many times when I was single that I thought, "man, I'm sick of chasing tail, I wouldn't mind just having an old lady to chill with tonight." The grass is always greener as they say.

SO true. When I was single, I truly wanted a cool girl to just chill with and forget all the dating/pickup BS. Now that Ive been in an LTR for a time, I daydream about new girls at times. I think it's just the excitement I miss....the spontaneity of hooking up with a new girl; a new taste, and new feel.

 

[Reyaj]

SO true. When I was single, I truly wanted a cool girl to just chill with and forget all the dating/pickup BS. Now that Ive been in an LTR for a time, I daydream about new girls at times. I think it's just the excitement I miss....the spontaneity of hooking up with a new girl; a new taste, and new feel.

Agreed. This is why cheating is common for a male.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

I don't think my marriage is mundane. We have a lot of fun and it's been pretty interesting, actually. But it's true that the tension goes away with time....

Yo SamsSpade,

Do you think some occasional "role-playing" or sex (or ALMOST sex) in slightly public places could help? I've heard conflicting opinions on it.

Mind you, we don't wanna see you or your wife anytime soon on CNN being carted off to jail dressed liked Captain Kirk and the green, alien chick 'cuz they caught you two goin' at it on aisle nine in Walmart...:crackup:

 

[samspade]

Yo SamsSpade,

Do you think some occasional "role-playing" or sex (or ALMOST sex) in slightly public places could help? I've heard conflicting opinions on it.

Mind you, we don't wanna see you or your wife anytime soon on CNN being carted off to jail dressed liked Captain Kirk and the green, alien chick 'cuz they caught you two goin' at it on aisle nine in Walmart...:crackup:

Ha, well, we've dabbled in stuff like that. But again, it's not that I find my wife or our sex lives boring. And I was thinking more of the Princess Leia outfit from Jabba's dungeon....for her, not me.

 

[speed dawg]

I don't necessarily miss "game" per se...you can run game anywhere - work conferences, the mall, restaurants, anywhere. I go out to the bar once in a blue moon for a ball game or something, and yes, I talk to chicks. But it's no big deal.

What I do miss is the freedom and lack of responsibility. Of course, I was young and did nothing with it when I had it. And if I wasn't married right now, I still probably wouldn't. But I did like the single 'scene' if you will, and sort of going from girl to girl and not caring. BUT, I remember getting bored with this lifestyle too. All these married chumps say, "Man if I was single I fvck everybody ho he ha!!!" but truth is, when I was, I was still pretty picky. I didn't go after a bunch of girls that would have been easy lays because I just didn't care enough. And I definitely remember not being able to find enough to do to fill up the day. Only so much working out, playing golf and fishing you can do.

The most fun is when you have a group of 3-4 guys who are all single like that. We'd crash parties, do stupid crap at bars, all sort of living in the 'shadow' of life....you could disappear at any point then reappear in the 'scene' at your town. I liked seeing different people at different bars and not knowing where the nights would take me.

Nowadays things are much more routine, especially with kids. No way I'd go back to that single lifestyle by choice, but yes, you do miss it. Sort of like an ex-gf, you miss certain details but wouldn't want to take the step back.

 

[Spinning Spinning]

Yo SamsSpade,

Do you think some occasional "role-playing" or sex (or ALMOST sex) in slightly public places could help? I've heard conflicting opinions on it.

Mind you, we don't wanna see you or your wife anytime soon on CNN being carted off to jail dressed liked Captain Kirk and the green, alien chick 'cuz they caught you two goin' at it on aisle nine in Walmart...:crackup:

Have tried this and did nothing for me.......

 

[zekko]

I don't miss rejection at all, it does nothing for me. I know it's part of the game and all, but throwing a bunch of stuff up on a wall and seeing what sticks isn't really my idea of fun. Which is what game is, sort of, it's a numbers game.

I'd rather do the least amount of work for the maximum amount of profit, if I could.

 

[samspade]

I don't necessarily miss "game" per se...you can run game anywhere - work conferences, the mall, restaurants, anywhere. I go out to the bar once in a blue moon for a ball game or something, and yes, I talk to chicks. But it's no big deal.

What I do miss is the freedom and lack of responsibility. Of course, I was young and did nothing with it when I had it. And if I wasn't married right now, I still probably wouldn't. But I did like the single 'scene' if you will, and sort of going from girl to girl and not caring. BUT, I remember getting bored with this lifestyle too. All these married chumps say, "Man if I was single I fvck everybody ho he ha!!!" but truth is, when I was, I was still pretty picky. I didn't go after a bunch of girls that would have been easy lays because I just didn't care enough. And I definitely remember not being able to find enough to do to fill up the day. Only so much working out, playing golf and fishing you can do.

The most fun is when you have a group of 3-4 guys who are all single like that. We'd crash parties, do stupid crap at bars, all sort of living in the 'shadow' of life....you could disappear at any point then reappear in the 'scene' at your town. I liked seeing different people at different bars and not knowing where the nights would take me.

Nowadays things are much more routine, especially with kids. No way I'd go back to that single lifestyle by choice, but yes, you do miss it. Sort of like an ex-gf, you miss certain details but wouldn't want to take the step back.

I think you nailed it, for me. That feeling of, "should I go out tonight?" You go out with your buddies, and the night's a big adventure. Or it could be a wash. But you go out and have fun. Or, you stay in, have some pizza and watch a flick. You do your stuff when you want to do it.

And yeah, I wasn't always out meeting women and taking them home. Sometimes I was perfectly satisfied being alone. I wouldn't "sell out" for a girl at a bar if she seemed easy - depended on what kind of girl she was. I was more into getting numbers during the day, anyway.

And there are times I envision myself at 55 or so, still banging younger women as a single guy, even though I'm married now.

 

[5string]

I wouldn't do it in aisle 9 at Walmart. It'd be my luck some fattie with a mole on her nose would come around the corner in her motorized cart and run us over.

 

[backbreaker]

as samspade pointed out I don't miss game so much. plus my life really isn't mundance and anything but routine. I guess if anything I kinda miss the chase/cat mouse aspect of it.

for me, it really wasn't even about hte sex. once you have had enough sex sex is just sex, she has legs and a virgina, the legs go over your sholders, you insert, she might or might not make some noices, you rub here, you kiss there... for me it really was just the enjoyment of breaking a woman completely down. playing the game from being "one of her options" to a few months later she is blowing up your phone because you haven't called her in 2 days and she is worried, just her admitting to her or to you that she wants you with no reservations.


but when you do thisor when I did it I would learn or realize traits in a womant hat I would automatically toss them out for serious LTR so when i got them there i got bored and would do it again. so while I miss it somewhat, i don't plan on back anytime soon and wading through the pool of undesirables.