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Do you judge a girl on who she hangs around with?

The_Reaper

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My girlfriend of 8 months hangs around with this complete creep, a lowdown servile, slimy fck. He once told her he has a daughter who is dying of cancer, to get her sympathy. A complete lie, a "joke" as he called it. He has oneitus for her.

Now, I never give boundaries to a girl - if I tell her she cannot see him, it will make her want to see him.

But I find my respect for her going down the more I think about it. Why does she keep this douchebag around - a guy who hates me and wants her to get rid of me.

"It's not my business who she is friends with", I know, but still, that's not the point i'm making.
 

Fenderules

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or just likes the attention and gratification that he wants her
 

Remulak

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People gravitate to their own kind. If a girl has all gold digger friends she's probably a gold digger. If she's a slut all her friends are probably sluts. Your girl is attracted to this slimy fyck, so unless you want to become a slimy fyck then I don't know what you should do.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Remulak said:
People gravitate to their own kind. If a girl has all gold digger friends she's probably a gold digger. If she's a slut all her friends are probably sluts. Your girl is attracted to this slimy fyck, so unless you want to become a slimy fyck then I don't know what you should do.
That typically happens with people who are easily manipulated or influenced. Not everyone is like that.
 

The_Reaper

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Remulak said:
People gravitate to their own kind. If a girl has all gold digger friends she's probably a gold digger. If she's a slut all her friends are probably sluts. Your girl is attracted to this slimy fyck, so unless you want to become a slimy fyck then I don't know what you should do.
So, birds of a feather flock together.

She's not a slut, but she is a "tease", and is very friendly to people. I both like and dislike that aspect of her
 

backbreaker

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YESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!1



if I don't like your friends, and I DID like you, I will (correctly) assume you are putting on a mask to win me over.

people gravitate to their own kind. hot women hang out with hot women. crack heads hang out with other crack heads. Basketball players hang out with other basketball players.

Shallow women hang out with other shallow women. this is epically true of women.


I once had a GF in HS for 6 months. She was what you would call "from the hood" and I was a "pretty boy" :rolleyes:

She decided after 6 months I wasn't "hood" enough for her, 2 weeks later she was getting gang banged at a party. of course, at the time I wanted to kill myself i was so distraught. but then with time, i realized that people are who they are. she grew up in the hood, her brother was in a gang, she is attracted to other gang members, and even though I did go to school with a couple and grew up in a somewhat tough neighborhood, you would never confuse me with a gang banger. She now has 3 kids and works at KFC, the same job she had when I met her. I ran into her about 6 months ago, not thinking she STILL worked there (who would?) and I was almost embarrassed to look her in the face... still cute, but damn.
 

Live-n-learn

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I can see that people gravitate to those that are similar to them. What about when hot girls hang around unattractive girls (to boost their egos and have someone ****block for them)? In that case, does that mean they're similar in attributes other than appearance? Like they may not share similar interests but maybe they're married or something. Married couples hang around with other married couples more often, versus hanging around those still single, right?
 

backbreaker

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similar in personalities, not necessarly looks.


Every group, or at least most groups of girls have the same makeup... the smokin hot girl, the 2-3 girls you could see yourself doing on the right terms, and the one hag that is there to make EVERYONE feel better.

One thing I found is, it's extremely hard to try to have a normal relationship with the girl on top (the smokin hot girl, because in the girl ladder, the only thing that matters is how hot she is), because ALL THE OTHER GIRLS are living though her. you are dating like 5 girls! The best way to attack this is to actually AIM for one of the lower ones, and treat her as you were serious about her, and watch the top dog take action. The hot girl gets first dibs on everything.


But why even worry about it? if you are hanging out with girls that you have to even bring this question up.... man you know better. stop making excuses for her.
 

Prof

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I don't know what you meant in your last sentence backbreaker.

My suggestion is to either bring it up with her or come up with some sort of sleezeball test for her. Maybe entrust her with something of value to you (that you could lose without grief) and see how she handles it?
 

The_Reaper

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Prof said:
I don't know what you meant in your last sentence backbreaker.

My suggestion is to either bring it up with her or come up with some sort of sleezeball test for her. Maybe entrust her with something of value to you (that you could lose without grief) and see how she handles it?
Could you elaborate a little on that, Prof? And I didn't understand backbreaker's last sentence either.
 

senator

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The_Reaper said:
"It's not my business who she is friends with",
Oh, but it really is! Think about it.

BTW, I think you should dump her. If there's any doubt, and you're not at ease about it, lose her.
 

Gangster Of Love

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So far, the only reason you give for this guy being a sleeze is that he has one-itis for your girlfriend. You don't like that, so you already make him into a bad person. She sees some sort of value in giving him some of her time. Is this somebody she knew way before you came into the picture?

Remember one thing, when one has one-itis, they will go to extremes, even the good people with other positive qualities. So before you and everyone here jump to judgement based on your insecurities, please tell us some other legitimate reasons why you want to judge her because of a friendship.

There is no way to be objective for you in this one. You are emotionally involved. If she's a good person that likes to be social, then she found something good in him, just like she did with you and her other friends. Unless, you freel threatened by him, I suggest you don't even worry about him. Your the one she's with. You are doing the one thing that could cause her to dump you, acting like a jealous bitzh. Don't give him the pleasure of his behavior getting to you.
 

Nighthawk

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I get that you hate him, but his daughter-has-cancer joke/lie could be funny in context. Why is he such a douche?

Women like bad-boys, so bear that in mind.
 

Gangster Of Love

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Nighthawk said:
I get that you hate him, but his daughter-has-cancer joke/lie could be funny in context. Why is he such a douche?

Women like bad-boys, so bear that in mind.
It is very possible that even while saying stupid stuff, he is showcasing his humor and other attractive qualities that women like. He doesn't seem to be as uptight about things.
 

backbreaker

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backbreaker said:
But why even worry about it? if you are hanging out with girls that you have to even bring this question up.... man you know better. stop making excuses for her.
I was literarly typing what I was thinking.

what I mean is, if you have to ask yourself if the girl has mental problems... 9 times out of 10, the question isn't doesn't she have issues it's do you still want to do her in spite of thoose issues.

If you had 2-4 viable canidates for your next Girl, would you even consider a girl who has this guy as her STALKER GUY WHO SHE KEEPS BRINGING UP.

In the sense of him stealing her from you, you don't have much to worry about from that end. unless he hits the lottery or something, he is an emotional tampon at this point.

But women who do these types of things I don't hold alot of respect for. They are playing games with people's (i.e his) hearts. What she ISN'T telling you are all the tale tale signs that she is throwing out to keep him around. They aren't just talking on the phone about Barney all day long and he has been around for as long as he has. We've all been there. Weather it be that kisson the cheek, or confiding in him when you **** up and letting it slip "would you date me if I were single?" or something along those lines..and she does it on purpose, becuase she knows he lives for these little insignificant gestures.
 
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