Do you guys go to parties/clubs alone?

[HiLite]

I went out alone for the second time a few nights ago. It was uneventful, but I got drunk so I had a good time anyway.

I tried to sit near groups of people who seemed more open to outsiders because I couldn't get a seat by the bar. I talked to a few people and surprisingly, this one hot girl started a conversation with me. It went alright, but I didn't try to take things any further because there was another guy hovering around her throughout the night and he kept interrupting our conversation. I assumed it was her boyfriend, but I don't know. I may have ****ed up. Anyway, later on during the night, it seemed like some groups of girls were avoiding me. I noticed that if they were sitting near me, they'd get up and leave a few minutes later. I wasn't doing anything creepy (e.g. staring, sitting close) and I wasn't super drunk, so I'm not sure what put them off. I guess they just thought I was a loser. Thing is, a lot of these chicks weren't that attractive anyway. It kinda threw me off to see basic hoes having such high standards. Also, what's up with these fat/ugly chicks grinding on each other? Sorry, I'll admit I'm new to this whole scene.

Anyway, do you guys think it's a red flag for most women when they see a guy going to a party alone? Do you guys have any general advice for going out alone?

 

[bigneil]

I almost exclusively go alone. As long as you are confident being alone, women prefer it. If you seem insecure for any reason you are hurting your chances.

I like to sit at the bar and have dinner and I end up talking to everyone.

 

[sharkbeat]

I had gone to clubs alone several times. Clubs is a different game. You'd need as much social proof as possible. Going solo means your social proof is nearly zero, so you are basically starting off handicapped. Questions like "who are here with?" did come up a lot. Some women (not all of them) could get freaked out by men going solo. Not sure why. Some other women are okay with it.

Having said that, I actually prefer going solo than going with clueless friends. I have done that and it was terrible.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I had gone to clubs alone several times. Clubs is a different game. You'd need as much social proof as possible. Going solo means your social proof is nearly zero, so you are basically starting off handicapped. Questions like "who are here with?" did come up a lot. Some women (not all of them) could get freaked out by men going solo. Not sure why. Some other women are okay with it.

Having said that, I actually prefer going solo than going with clueless friends. I have done that and it was terrible.

You can go out solo if the club knows you. IE: bar tenders, dj's, bouncers, etc. That works well. If you are starting anew, get to know them.

 

[Jetleg]

Depends.
Clubs - bad idea in general, alone its even worse.

Bars - sometimes, usually when im traveling. going alone to bar is a skill that must be mastered, you need to choose a good bar and have the appearance of a business man. You should always be friendly with the bar tender!

 

[Desdinova]

I almost always went out alone. You need to be confident, have a good time, and interact with people. You don't even need to interact with women. Just get yourself comfortable with approaching strangers and meeting new people. After you start doing that, the women will come along with the territory.

this one hot girl started a conversation with me. It went alright, but I didn't try to take things any further because there was another guy hovering around her throughout the night and he kept interrupting our conversation.

It probably wasn't her BF, but an orbiter who was jealous that you two were talking. All you need is information to give you the green light. "You're boyfriend here sure dresses nice". If he's not her BF, she will take the opportunity to let you know.

It's good you're getting out there. All you need to do is make the evening work in your favour. Start interacting with people and you'll start opening doors of opportunity. You may get invited to after parties or out to different places. Enjoy the experience and the fun that comes with it. Again, the women will follow.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Going solo, did it many times, sometimes it worked others didnt.

I believe it depends on your look (aestethics but what you look like too), if you're attractive you have a much higher tolerance of unconventional behaviours, also the guy who said you have to look like a business man is spot on.

If it looks like you happen to be alone and go with it, its much better than someone who IS alone.

Now the venue has his part too, a bar for adult people requires you to be and do certain things while a club for 20s people is the other way around.

Also in the people working there know you the interaction will be more smooth and warm, people around will notice that especially girls so it may work as some kind of preselection.

I had success approching alone tables of girls while I failed to have small talk with single girls waiting at the bar, its not a sure science yet operating solo is a skill itself.

Operating solo is not the sum of many skills working togheter, its a skill itself just like driving a car is not the sum or watching, turning a wheel and stay focus.

 

[Bingo-Player]

I have been known to break off from my friends on nights out purely to go after girls

but Im not sure about heading out completely alone I wouldn't be able to do it in my home town as I am too well known and it would be seen as weird

in another city I would probably be tempted try it and wing my way through

if your good it shouldn't matter wether your alone or with a group

 

[hockeyfreak79]

LoneWolf for life! It's probably 60-40, with 60% I'm out on my own. Like another poster said in a different thread. When alone sit at the bar, center location if you can. Chat up who ever sits next to you. If a woman ever sits right next to you it's usually game on. Depending on HB level of course. If she orders a shot and is alone, even bigger green light. Just don't be the sucker that buys the shot.

 

[fastlife]

I talked to a few people and surprisingly, this one hot girl started a conversation with me. It went alright, but I didn't try to take things any further because there was another guy hovering around her throughout the night and he kept interrupting our conversation. I assumed it was her boyfriend, but I don't know. I may have ****ed up.

See @Desdinova 's response. Escalate next time. It doesn't sound like you go out a lot but do you know how hard it is to start a bar fight?

You have to want to get in a fight. Every now & then I've had a girl show blatant IOI's while with her bf or husband, kind of a 'Let's you and him fight' scenario at which point you can just turn your attention to him, say something friendly and bounce.

Anyway, later on during the night, it seemed like some groups of girls were avoiding me. I noticed that if they were sitting near me, they'd get up and leave a few minutes later. I wasn't doing anything creepy (e.g. staring, sitting close) and I wasn't super drunk, so I'm not sure what put them off. I guess they just thought I was a loser.

Think of how egotistical & solipsistic this sounds. You out of the other hundred people in the bar or a thousand other scenarios were the reason they bounced because they just assumed you were a loser. Get over yourself lol. You didn't even open them--they probably didn't notice you.

Did you notice any other guy by himself? Probably not. Why is 'creepy loser' the default for a guy who goes out by himself? Can't possibly be shame-based social conditioning to keep guys like you in your place

Anyway, do you guys think it's a red flag for most women when they see a guy going to a party alone? Do you guys have any general advice for going out alone?

No. They'll test you on it, of course, unless she's 100% head over heels and doesn't want to disqualify you--but if you own it then that'll spark attraction.

Just have a go-to when they ask:

"My friends wanted to go to [insert venue] but it's hella ratchet there."

"I was out with this girl but she turned out to be really weird so I bailed on her and came here to try to save my night."

"All of my friends are old and married."

"I don't have any friends." (Once you have the confidence that you project enough value that they know you're lying).

But going out by yourself is way more efficient for meeting women. One, it's easier for her to invite you along. It's way easier to sell a group on one guy than it is to drag along friends who might be lower value or don't have much interest in her overweight friend (hot girls always an overweight friend or two who gets bored and drags her away). You also don't have to worry about bailing on your boy.

Two, you get to pick the venues with the girls you like. Most guys won't approach girls and intentionally pick sh1tty venues so they can rationalize why they didn't approach (too loud, no hot girls, I just wanna get drunk, etc.).

But you do have to approach. The gimme's are almost always below your league or, if they're hot, on the Cluster B scale. You'll also realize that nothing bad happens--and it's fun to put yourself out there and realize (eventually) you can pick who you want.

 

[Listen_to_Olly]

Nope.

Always go with friends, do not be a loner. If you can't find friends to go with, work on making better friends.

 

[Desdinova]

Always go with friends, do not be a loner. If you can't find friends to go with, work on making better friends.

Why do you have to be dependent on friends?

I've encountered nothing but problems taking friends with me. A lot of them would drag me down to their level and I won't be able to approach new people. Some of them would cancel their plans with me. I would have missed out on a LOT of opportunities, experiences, and women if I relied on my friends to accompany me.

Flying solo gives you a LOT of freedom. You aren't chained to your friend, you aren't committed to showing him a good time, you aren't reliant on his deadlines nor transporting him (or him transporting you). You literally have no boundaries when you're out solo. If you don't like the venue, you can leave and go to another one.

I occasionally went out with friends, but my success was much better flying solo. I would join social circles made up of the regulars and have social proof by default. IMO, flying solo is the way to go. It forces you to build the confidence to interact with strangers, and teaches you to be comfortable with being alone. If you're too reliant on other people, you're going to end up with a bad case of one-itis when you finally do meet a woman who shows you any kind of interest.

 

[70th Win]

I used to tell myself I was good at getting girls when I was out alone but the truth is it's a million times easier to get girls when I'm out with other guys. Doesn't matter if it's my friends, or a coworker I just met. It goes from difficult to easy and the change is noticeable immediately.

Unfortunately I barely ever do anything with any guys anymore. There are still a lot of places where I can meet girls by myself but it helps if it's somewhere people usually go by themselves, like a store. I wouldn't ever try a club again, even with friends. It's not my thing at all. I hate it. I'll always prefer approaching girls one on one. I'm way more comfortable that way but if there's guys with me who aren't the **** block types then it doesn't seem to matter where I'm at.

 

[The Duke]

When I've told girls that I was by myself, they admired me for doing so. They definitely were attacted to it.

 

[Listen_to_Olly]

Why do you have to be dependent on friends?

I've encountered nothing but problems taking friends with me. A lot of them would drag me down to their level and I won't be able to approach new people. Some of them would cancel their plans with me. I would have missed out on a LOT of opportunities, experiences, and women if I relied on my friends to accompany me.

Flying solo gives you a LOT of freedom. You aren't chained to your friend, you aren't committed to showing him a good time, you aren't reliant on his deadlines nor transporting him (or him transporting you). You literally have no boundaries when you're out solo. If you don't like the venue, you can leave and go to another one.

I occasionally went out with friends, but my success was much better flying solo. I would join social circles made up of the regulars and have social proof by default. IMO, flying solo is the way to go. It forces you to build the confidence to interact with strangers, and teaches you to be comfortable with being alone. If you're too reliant on other people, you're going to end up with a bad case of one-itis when you finally do meet a woman who shows you any kind of interest.

Because most of the times, being lonely at the club means low value right off the bat. Chicks see you lonely? Low value.

Other dudes see you lonely? Low value.

I would say go out with friends at a club, meet other crowd, get familiar with the workers, show up enough with friends, and THEN go out solo to that club.

 

[Desdinova]

Because most of the times, being lonely at the club means low value right off the bat. Chicks see you lonely? Low value.

Other dudes see you lonely? Low value.

If this were the case, I'd never get laid. If you go out solo and start interacting with people, you are NOT perceived as low value. If you go out solo with your only intention of having fun, you are NOT perceived as low value. If you sit down with a smile on your face because you're having a good time, you are NOT perceived as low value.

If you sit there alone and you look bored, THEN you are perceived as low value.

 

[bigneil]

Nope.

Always go with friends, do not be a loner. If you can't find friends to go with, work on making better friends.

Winner! Beta shemale of the year!

He/she thinks men look better hugging other men?

Consider:

10/27 - Had sex with HB9 20 year old girl who I met out alone.
10/29 - Out alone, had photo taken with HB9 22 year old, spoke to another HB9 26 year old.
10/30 - Out alone, Met new HB8 from Russia age 22.
10/31 - Out alone, had 3 way kiss with 21, 25 year olds.
11/1 - Out alone, got phone number from HB7 27 year old and Russian girl invited me out, got date.
11/2 - Out alone, had sex with HB8 19 year old girl.
11/4 - First date with Russian girl who I met out alone, made out.

That's 8 women in 8 days (6 nights out alone, kissed 5, bedded 2).

And I'm 46. Men are independent.

 

[SmooveMooves]

You older guys must be going to gentlemen's clubs or bars or something. I'm telling you for the 27 and under crowd you show up to a club alone it's over. These days it's all about social proof and status if you don't know anyone you're better off staying home. Clubs --especially the popular ones are cliquey and I guarantee you won't be "joining a stranger's social group."

Make some high SMV friends. Use them for social proof. Prosper.

The best way to gain access to these people is to increase your own SMW & status. Yes, that means being a bit shallow. That's the way the cookie crumbles.

 

[Listen_to_Olly]

If this were the case, I'd never get laid. If you go out solo and start interacting with people, you are NOT perceived as low value. If you go out solo with your only intention of having fun, you are NOT perceived as low value. If you sit down with a smile on your face because you're having a good time, you are NOT perceived as low value.

If you sit there alone and you look bored, THEN you are perceived as low value.

again, wrong, you must be going to an older guy's club because I promise you that at a club loaded with hotties you won't pull going out alone, ever

 

[Julian]

i feel like a caged lion when i go out alone..only when im with my bros does my true power emerge and i can fully let loose.

when im solo i get paranoid and bored and feel desperate unless im visiting another city. if in my hometown im too well known idk the energy is different.

heres the kicker tho, when my squad and i arrive we almost always split up and do our own thing but periodically meet throughout the night, organicallly coming together and going apart, pairing off, splitting off solo, regrouping etc. its just more fun sharing that with friends imo.

for instance i was hypedup to go out, my friend bailed now i dont even wanna go anymore..plus its always good to have someone to watch your 6.