Deadly_Ripped
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2003
- Messages
- 627
- Reaction score
- 26
Hello DJs,
I wanted to share some thoughts regarding expectations that have been steeping in my mind for the past few years.
What do you want in a woman? Do you want her to be in the top 10% of attractiveness? Do you want her to be perfectly shaven like a barbie doll? Will her nails always be trimmed perfectly, her eyebrows waxed to perfection, her hair in that cute half-ponytail-thing that separates her bleached-blond highlights from her natural dirty blond hair? Will she have the body of a cheerleader, even after she has grown and birthed 2 children? Will she be charming, intelligent, and emotionally balanced?
Maybe she will be.
There ARE women out there like that, you know.
Do you expect to find, attract, lay, and to be loved by this woman?
I want to know why.
Finding a long-term partner is about matching. Think of your long-term compatibility as a total score. If you match her level on something, then you both get one point. If she exceeds you in something, then she gets 1 point. If you exceed her in something, then you get 1 point. The goal is to find someone who gives you both the highest and closest scores.
How does this happen?
It happens when your physical fitness, grooming, education, and intellects are reasonably balanced. Then, when you add in emotional, ethical, and personality traits, you two complement each other in a BALANCED way - meaning that, for each area in which she excels over you, there's an area where you excel over her. In this way you two will BOTH respect AND admire each other... respect for those things you both have achieved, and admiration for your complementary qualities.
What does this mean for dating?
It means that you shouldn't expect women to have traits that you don't yourself possess to some extent. One easy example is physical fitness. A lot of men want to believe that they can look like garbage and pull an HB9. They use exceptions as "proof" that it's possible. Sure, it's possible, but it's not likely. It's more likely that they HB9 will find someone who is her physical equal, and who ALSO has DJ confidence. You might slip in there when she's desperate or lonely, but your potbelly isn't going to get any respect in her eyes. Why? Because she works very consistently to maintain that body, and it's reasonable for her to expect the same in a partner.
The same holds true for grooming, education, employment status, and all of the other things that we use to distinguish one individual from another.
tl;dr: If you want a fit girl, get fit. Every imbalance in one direction should be balanced by an imbalance in the other. Otherwise disrespect and games will ensue.
I wanted to share some thoughts regarding expectations that have been steeping in my mind for the past few years.
What do you want in a woman? Do you want her to be in the top 10% of attractiveness? Do you want her to be perfectly shaven like a barbie doll? Will her nails always be trimmed perfectly, her eyebrows waxed to perfection, her hair in that cute half-ponytail-thing that separates her bleached-blond highlights from her natural dirty blond hair? Will she have the body of a cheerleader, even after she has grown and birthed 2 children? Will she be charming, intelligent, and emotionally balanced?
Maybe she will be.
There ARE women out there like that, you know.
Do you expect to find, attract, lay, and to be loved by this woman?
I want to know why.
Finding a long-term partner is about matching. Think of your long-term compatibility as a total score. If you match her level on something, then you both get one point. If she exceeds you in something, then she gets 1 point. If you exceed her in something, then you get 1 point. The goal is to find someone who gives you both the highest and closest scores.
How does this happen?
It happens when your physical fitness, grooming, education, and intellects are reasonably balanced. Then, when you add in emotional, ethical, and personality traits, you two complement each other in a BALANCED way - meaning that, for each area in which she excels over you, there's an area where you excel over her. In this way you two will BOTH respect AND admire each other... respect for those things you both have achieved, and admiration for your complementary qualities.
What does this mean for dating?
It means that you shouldn't expect women to have traits that you don't yourself possess to some extent. One easy example is physical fitness. A lot of men want to believe that they can look like garbage and pull an HB9. They use exceptions as "proof" that it's possible. Sure, it's possible, but it's not likely. It's more likely that they HB9 will find someone who is her physical equal, and who ALSO has DJ confidence. You might slip in there when she's desperate or lonely, but your potbelly isn't going to get any respect in her eyes. Why? Because she works very consistently to maintain that body, and it's reasonable for her to expect the same in a partner.
The same holds true for grooming, education, employment status, and all of the other things that we use to distinguish one individual from another.
tl;dr: If you want a fit girl, get fit. Every imbalance in one direction should be balanced by an imbalance in the other. Otherwise disrespect and games will ensue.
