Saw this on reddit. Wasn't expecting something so insightful, but there you go.
Otherwise, be your goddamn self.
If you change, change only for yourself.When two people engage in dating and / or a relationship, both sides are usually seeking to have various needs filled. In the pursuit of that, they usually are offering some perceived quality, action, or thing in trade. Whether these things are money, friendship, connection, empathy, trust, sex, etc, there is most definitely a trade going on in most relations.
The things you bring to the table, so to speak, can be things like wealth and social influence, sex and youth, {insert more generic bull**** here}, but are more often things like "he's a funny guy" or "I like hanging out with him", etc. They are personality qualities desired by the other person.
If you replace your personality with their preferences, replace your hobbies with their hobbies, replace your free time with their free time, etc (pandering/being a butler), you have nothing left to bring to the table that they don't already have; therefore, your perceived value disappears.
So yes, you could hang out and talk about random stuff. Quite honestly, that is all half the dates I've ever been on have been. When you do that, you are hinging yourself on your personality and who you are, which is why I keep telling people to be their own person, to develop a persona that is unique, and not a copy of others or an attempt at being what others think you should be.
Otherwise, be your goddamn self.