Do English girls need to be Dj'd differently?

MysteryWoman

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DJ Smooth

My experience of English men is that they don't ask me out. In the past I have had to initiate most dates, which now I refuse because it is too much hard work being left to control the relationship.

Even if I give them signals, they will look stare, smile, get nervous, for an outrageous long period of time. But no they still won't approach me. I get asked out more by foreign guys. How am I suppose to respect English men because of this?
 

In Sync

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I think I will try a few things here in Britain in the next couple of weeks and report back here...

[This message has been edited by In Sync (edited 08-30-2002).]
 
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I live in Dublin - everywhere else in ireland sux!

sorry HBK
 

Olympian

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Originally posted by MysteryWoman:

DJ Smooth

My experience of English men is that they don't ask me out. In the past I have had to initiate most dates, which now I refuse because it is too much hard work being left to control the relationship.

Even if I give them signals, they will look stare, smile, get nervous, for an outrageous long period of time. But no they still won't approach me. I get asked out more by foreign guys. How am I suppose to respect English men because of this?

you know, i definitely feel for u there, seriously. i was at this 'adult' ish club one night and what i saw was just so twisted. all these women dancing alone on the dance floor and all the guys standing around, shuffling their feet. every once in a while one girl would pull a guy out on the dancefloor and he'd be happy. it was pathetic. i live in the UK, but i'm not english.

i think there r still real men out there, maybe foreigners, but it just makes me feel sad how women r sometimes FORCED to initiate, cuz of the AFC guys.

a lot of the discussion here is about approaches, like in a store or restaurant. would u share with us your experience of that? if a confident, well-dresses/groomed man approached u in a store, how would u react - would u still feel too weird that it was in public and u didn't know him - would u give out your number there? your input would be appreciated.

Fistral, yes - your advice is solid. i've also found that UK girls are easier to
'be-friend' when u see them several times, indeed, like in a gym or some classes.

the girls in the street/store will smile at u and giggle if there's several of them - i actually find it easier to approach groups if it's in a store/street. it's a little bit weird, they'll smile or whatever, but when u approach, it's like 'u stalker'. not always, but some pretty inhibited girls here in the UK.

to be honest i haven't tried that many approaches in the street/store with one girl involved. however, i can say that if there's a certain waitress, cashier worker in a restaurant and store, then visiting that particular place can help to build a 'relationship' with the girl, gain more trust and then number closing is easier.

there r a few other PU places where it is possible to number close straight away, without seeing her several times. one is the park - it's much easier with a group of guys and girls. too bad the weather is so s.hit that this is only possible in summer-time and spring.

also, swimming pools - i dunno, maybe it's because u already have something in common - u both like swimming or that it's a limited area and she can't 'get away'.

and other sports stuff like at tennis courts - i've had success there - the old 'i've lost all my tennis balls, can we borrow some of yours' (girls have approached me with this several times)

again, having a common interest helps break the ice and opens up a def possibility to number close on first meeting.

and for these reason, i think it's really important to have lot's of aquaintances - girls and guys to introduce u to others.

so mostly, i agree with u Fistral - it rings true for a lot of UK DJs

PS (mystery woman, please share)
 

MysteryWoman

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Olympian, I probabily would be a bit suspicious if a well groomed or attractive man approached me in a store and asked for my number. That simply because living in a dangerous city like London, you have to be careful. However if I found him attractive I would be have a conversation with him, I'd be tempted to see him again but would be a bit scarred of handing out my number.

I agree that these are awful obstacles, and if you see someone you find attractive in public why should should you miss an oppertunity.

In an evironment like a bar, coffee shop, museum e.t.c, if a guy approached me whilst I was surrounded by my friends, after a reasonabily long chat I'd feel much safer about giving out my number.

I think approaching girls in groups, if she gives you signals is the best approach with dealing with English girls.

Seeing you're a foreigner, you have the advantage to be Don Juan. You don't have to be drunk like the typical english lad to get laid. You can show your classy and the girls will love you, and the English guys will hate you.

Can you believe it but even handsome English guys are also shy and AFC when it comes to dealing with girls they like?
 

Gimpy

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I'm English.

What's a "date"? Does it come before the drunk sex or after?
 

008

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Mysterywoman

u made some good points there...not every guy who is capable of sleeping around wants to. there just aren't many socially acceptable environments for P/U.
 

Olympian

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Originally posted by MysteryWoman:

Olympian, I probabily would be a bit suspicious if a well groomed or attractive man approached me in a store and asked for my number. That simply because living in a dangerous city like London, you have to be careful. However if I found him attractive I would be have a conversation with him, I'd be tempted to see him again but would be a bit scarred of handing out my number.

I agree that these are awful obstacles, and if you see someone you find attractive in public why should should you miss an oppertunity.

In an evironment like a bar, coffee shop, museum e.t.c, if a guy approached me whilst I was surrounded by my friends, after a reasonabily long chat I'd feel much safer about giving out my number.

I think approaching girls in groups, if she gives you signals is the best approach with dealing with English girls.

Seeing you're a foreigner, you have the advantage to be Don Juan. You don't have to be drunk like the typical english lad to get laid. You can show your classy and the girls will love you, and the English guys will hate you.

Can you believe it but even handsome English guys are also shy and AFC when it comes to dealing with girls they like?

so u wouldn't give out your number in a store cuz it's kinda freaky in a large city concerning personal info, but would u go to lunch/coffee with the guy if he asked u to go right there and then, like in a shopping centre where there's a coffee place nearby?

anyway, thanks a lot for your response, that was decent.

btw, i live in london too and i get on ok with english guys.

your last sentence - i can believe the good-looking AFCs. i know a few guys who r 'jerks' by definition when it comes to everything, except girls.
 

pootwo

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Thanks alot guys!

I'm british & i've just finished re-reading the DJ bible.
I've been all excited & confindent with myself but after reading this, you've made me feel that theres no hope.
 

Olympian

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Originally posted by pootwo:
Thanks alot guys!

I'm british & i've just finished re-reading the DJ bible.
I've been all excited & confindent with myself but after reading this, you've made me feel that theres no hope.

alright man take it easy, it's not here to make u feel bad, but the difference between enlgish and other nationality girls in a fact.

it doesn't mean u can't be a DJ. in fact, if u get the approaching technique down, the rewards will be greater, because so many other guys in UK (as mystery woman says) are afraid to approach, because they can't do it correctly. if u can, then u'll have the choice of girls - u'll be a rare commodity.

don't make it a problem for yourself and it won't be - it's just one thing UK DJs have to deal with, just like DJs from other countries have to deal with other issues.
 

KnightErrant

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Just curious how many of you English guys who having trouble with approaches are trying to do this in london, or other big cities ?
 

Blade

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Hi Everyone,

Wouldn't say in anyway that I am a master DJ but will give you my experiences of my approach experiences in London and other major cities.

England: London is where I have lived all my life. Had a slight go at the Master of the universe boot camp, but didn't get much past getting eye contact and smiling. If you try and initiate a conversation, 9 times out of 10 you will get the cold shoulder.

Mysterywoman makes a good point in that if it is a complete stranger, people are hesitant to give numbers, etc, because you don't know what might happen. However if you manage to get some rapport going or find something in common then this usually breaks down this wall. Alcohol helps in some cases as well !!

The general feeling I have is that in London, two types of people are successful, those perceived to be very rich, and frequent quite pretentious places or those perceived to be thug-like and frequent r'n'b, hip-hop type places. There are exceptions but from my own personal experience this is what I see. These set of people don't need to worry about approaches because the women will make it obvious that the want to be 'pulled'.

Whenever I have visited places outside of London, Nottingham, Cambridge, Brighton, etc, I tend to find that people are more friendly and having a good personality are more important. I can usually strike up a conversation without any funny looks.

America: Have been to NY twice and Boston once. People in general are alot more friendlier and the women came up to me, which rarely happens to me in the UK. Could see alot of the DJ approaches working better over there. Again, people in Boston were slightly friendlier that those in NY. Could be for the same reasons as London, big city, some people don't have time and some people could be dangerous.

Other places I have been - Germany, Spain, Portugal, Ireland, France - In general, although there are slight cultural differences, having a fun attitude and looking good seemed enough to allow me to approach and be approached with relative ease.

Anyway, my two pences worth.

Blade
 

Blade

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Hi Mysterywoman,

Before I forget - thanks for the comment about approaching girls in groups. I can understand your viewpoint and will try and bear it in mind in the future.

Blade
 

Breadstick2000

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Yeah going up to a girl and saying "hi", is not really acceptible round my area, I am from Derbyshire in england, its like you already know them and they get confused and they wonder what the hell your doing.

It is acceptible if you are noticed by them first, such as you make eye-contact, she smiles then tells her mate, then there both lookin at you smiling and waving, I've been there a few times before and they hate it when you don't go up and talk to them, I feel that this is becuase most of English men just don't have the confidence for it.

I have not met a person from my country before that has gone up to a girl and got her number, unless it is in a sociable enviroment such as a club.

Going up to any girl and saying hi don't work in England, I've done it so many times and only one girl actually talked. They have to notice you first and give some sort of interest like a smile, and they hold it, for a long time, or if your sitting down having your coffee with a group of people and you see a girl on her own on a table across from you, glaceing over and holding eye-contact, that is acceptible.

That is what I have found, but I really think its becuase English men just don't have the confidence.

I know someone who was brought up in Jamacia, he seems to get every dam chick in his bed everyweekend when he goes out, I just don't know how he does it. He is a decent fella tho.



[This message has been edited by Breadstick2000 (edited 09-01-2002).]
 

jimbob

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you lot are mentalists.

english (not brits - you foolish americans forget that britain is 4 different countries) girls are easy to talk to. Not AS easy as americans but they are not impossible by any means.

Try it next time you are out. It has been working fine for me.
 

In Sync

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It's easier for foreigners in the UK (or anywhere).

UK guys know how tough it is.
 

Lionheart

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I was gonna ask this ages ago....

I have thought of this a lot recently and was gonna post on the forums that a lot of the DJ rules DO NOT work in England.

EC is sparing, mainly due to the fact that it causes discomfort over here, and dates appear to be a thing of the past mostly, there is also a greater amount of casual sex over here, and we do a lot more drinking.

There are a lot of intriguing replies in this thread, and I think a lot of the stand-offish ness comes from the whole fact that England is still partially a Caste society, also our country has a lot of politically-correct laws and feminism and that **** has permeated a lot more as a result of that.

English girls, yes a bit more easy to talk too, they tend to be decent and moral girls and are often smart and interesting as well.
I love girls with Posh English accents too!
I have a Nottingham accent, but could switch to quite posh rather easily.

I don't know what 'type' of English man to be, as I could be intellectual and classy, but I could also be 'one of the lads', I put this to my friend last week when we were clubbing, and I said I ought to be taking girls to the opera house or art gallery before ****ing them, girls like this are highly likely to be decent and interesting, but I imagine that they are a lot harder to find than the clubbing drunkards.

I hate the way a lot of women act, I cannot stand loud, brash or arrogant women, these are mainly what you see nowadays in clubs and pubs in England.

Lionheart - Red Blooded English Man!
 

Oscar Wilde

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Interesting.

Tell ya one thing for sure about English girls - they love Irish guys :)

Oscar.
 
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