Dissolving My Marriage

[member162951]

My personal take is that monogamy is a tightrope that's unnatural...

^^You may be surprised but I do not disagree with this! Not necessarily across the board.

Every relationship is different; every couple has their own unique dynamic, what works for them.

It's the cheating, the deception, I disagree with.

I trust you know the difference because there is one.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Those are the guys they will fvck on the side while being with a provider who gives her everything while the other guys gives her nothing and often times take from her that which the provider gave since she shares it with him.

That's why you need to have a foot on both sides of the line so she gets the best of both worlds.

Married women are only into exclusivity until their spouses lowball them on the sexual front.

You’re the that made that distinction in a conversation about marriage and side pieces. No one was talking about making babies. Y’all took that literally. No married dude is fvcking a side broad to make babies.

You really want to derail this thread? Where did I 'make that distinction'?

 

[BeExcellent]

Okay, I take that back. A divorced woman who is obsessed with looks, money and status would not cheat on her second or third husband under any circumstances

Now my eye be rollin' lol. Look. I've been approached by several exceptional men since meeting my husband. One a ruggedly handsome retired pro hockey player who is a business owner, multimillionaire, adventure enthusiast (serious mountain climbing, extreme motor sports), who owns 7 different homes in Canada and the US. I knew him before my husband, decided I didn't want a LDR in another country (despite him wanting to spoil me rotten), and I didn't want to be that far away from my children for great stretches of time. He's bummed that I cut contact and has reached out a few times to be buddies. But he's interested in me, I don't think it's appropriate, its unkind to my husband, and I don't want orbiters.

I work with many physicians and highly successful healthcare executives & lobbyists. High powered men. Some very charming & handsome, including one who owns a vineyard & producing highly rated winery in California. I interact with high powered lawyers and real estate people too regularly; venture capital people.

These are people I routinely interact with (attractive, successful high powered men). It's NORMAL for me. So if someone expresses interest? I decline. I've declined Hollywood people too. It comes down to character. I don't value "celebrity" like some of y'all. Famous people give up a lot for fame. Lots of fake people trying to latch on everywhere you go, loss of privacy in many cases.

I love my husband. He's sweet and smart and funny in addition to being tall, sexy, successful and handsome. He's much LESS successful in fact than some of the other men I know...but I chose him & he chose me. Not sure at all why that is such a controversy except for the fact that my life refutes some of the beliefs held around here.

I'm not attracted to short & broke men. I'm already affluent in my own right. I can't relate to broke people as a relationship partner & I stand nearly 6' tall in heels. I do not like to tower over a man (feels weird) and I am attractive enough to have the kind of man I fancy.

Why this is controversial is really bizarre. (Shrugs).

Yes a pretty woman with her act together and her fitness on point can attract a top tier man, who will pursue her for exclusivity, a relationship & marriage.

In other news, water is wet.

This is simply self selection in the SMP gentlemen. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I'm not attracted to short & broke men. I'm already affluent in my own right. I can't relate to broke people as a relationship partner & I stand nearly 6' tall in heels. I do not like to tower over a man (feels weird) and I am attractive enough to have the kind of man I fancy.

Just curiosity, but what if someone wasn't interested in money or affluence? I have enough money to live in comfort, but not interested in accruing wealth. I prefer to spend my time on the things I love to do, regardless of their effect on my life with regards to status, money or power.

 

[Aristippus]

Money & Muscle,

Just a quick question. Is there any particular subject that your wife argues with you about? I also noticed you said this has been going on for a year or so. Was there anything that may have happened of possibly friends she started spending time with that are a bad influence?

When you argue, do you kowtow to her like a whimp or do you stand up for yourself? One rule I live by is that if she behaves well treat her well. When she behaves like a b***tch treat her like one. When she's sweet, be kind and when she is mean give her hell.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I'm not attracted to short & broke men. I'm already affluent in my own right. I can't relate to broke people as a relationship partner & I stand nearly 6' tall in heels. I do not like to tower over a man (feels weird) and I am attractive enough to have the kind of man I fancy.

Why this is controversial is really bizarre. (Shrugs).

There is nothing controversial. Like every other woman you are attracted to protect / provide masculine strength qualities in men dictated by biology. It is not a choice. We accept this as men.

Where the irony lies, is that no matter how much society tries to socialize men, we are still designed by the creator with an instinct to fvck around. It cannot be socialized out of men any more than women can be socialized to accept short, broke, weak men.

Yes a pretty woman with her act together and her fitness on point can attract a top tier man, who will pursue her for exclusivity, a relationship & marriage

It’s one way exclusivity.

What do Bill Clinton, Donald Trump, Bill Gates, Jay-Z, and Jeff Besos all have in common?

 

[All_Kindz_Of_Gainz]

I've been approached by several exceptional men since meeting my husband. One a ruggedly handsome retired pro hockey player who is a business owner, multimillionaire, adventure enthusiast (serious mountain climbing, extreme motor sports), who owns 7 different homes in Canada and the US.

Wow you're an exceptional woman.

- You are a single mother in your 50s, married to a 6'3" chad 15 years younger than you who is muscular, makes six figs, faithful to you and doesn't have kids

- You got a lot of money from your businesses

- And now the new info is that you get approached by muscular pro athletes who are multimillionaires with houses in US and Canada.

What does an exceptional woman like you have to gain coming to forums like this one? What can you possibly learn from mere mortals like us? Seriously.

 

[Slowhandluke]

I know one player whose ex-wife took 100% custody of his children (a son and a daughter who were 14 and 9 at the time), and she used his sexual escapades through the courts to rescind all visitation. He has not seen his children, not once, in 10 years. Additionally his ex wife effectively poisoned his children against him. He has a strained conversation with his adult son once or twice a year; his adult daughter wants nothing to do with him.

Meanwhile he gets laid with various women regularly. He is a broken man however over his kids, and has a general mistrust of women.

Was his price for sexual freedom too high? Its a cautionary tale to be sure. These are questions only OP can answer in the context of his situation.

It's a cautionary tale for sure. This is why marriage rates are going down. Remember guys, if you can't keep it in your pants. Don't marry. Do what is trending now. Have kids out of wedlock.... don't marry. PERIOD. If you are not 100% sure (and according to scientific studies, most of you wouldn't be able to esp. those of you who are very successful), don't marry.

On average most people cheat. But to have your kids turn against you. To have your "wife" poison them against you. That's terrible. That's a type of evil that just goes on and above somebody's biological need to "get it on".

Females may think they have an upper hand in "this game". They don't.

The Marriage Problem: Why Many Are Choosing Cohabitation Instead

There are plenty of health benefits to marriage that those just living with a partner don't have, but we're afraid of the possibility of collapse.

www.theatlantic.com

As this very thread shows, men will adapt. Don't blame me when cohabitation is the norm... Or partnerships... or just being gf/by... But yeah, marriage is going out of style. Only old people think it's still a thing now a days. Deal with the situation on the ground, not how you would like it to be. In the past, many women overlooked their partners "dalliance". They understood it was something biological. But who cares???? Things change. And now we have guys just wanting to pre-empt divorces with an earlier divorce in order to avoid massive negative consequences.

To be honest, the OP should. He's a man, and with some of the things I gather people posting about him. Yeah... don't give an alcoholic keys to the bar. They will be calling for him to get hanged when he trashes the bar, but yet, these people were the same one's who gave him the keys.

p.s. when I hear that a woman divorce rapes a man. I feel sad... but then I think of all the women who are getting used and abused by chad on the dating apps (and in real life)... how some of these women will never ever get married.. are so broken by these chads... are unhappy, etc...

Yes, women have the power to divorce rape a man... but yes, some men have the power to really... really wreck these women. It sure would be nice if both women and men worked together. Acknowledge each others strength and weakness. .... But that wouldn't happen until people stop living in a fairytales and see the world as it is and not as how it should be.

The OP should have gotten a divorce. That was the rational choice. Now his fate is determined by chance. Oh well, whatever.... I am like water

 

[BeExcellent]

Wow you're an exceptional woman.

- You are a single mother in your 50s, married to a 6'3" chad 15 years younger than you who is muscular, makes six figs, faithful to you and doesn't have kids

- You got a lot of money from your businesses

- And now the new info is that you get approached by muscular pro athletes who are multimillionaires with houses in US and Canada.

What does an exceptional woman like you have to gain coming to forums like this one? What can you possibly learn from mere mortals like us? Seriously.

He's only 8 years younger. Its not new info. I've discussed the various men who have approached me on any number of threads.

What I hear, over and over from high status men is that they find it refreshing to meet a beautiful woman who is genuine, classy, well spoken and kind.

Apparently the over riding majority of women these guys meet are shallow and self absorbed and vacuous. And yes I get the irony that some here hold that opinion of me but anyone who knows me outside this forum (including some forum members) know who I am and understand why/how that is appealing to a high value man.

I'm here as one voice, as an attractive sought after woman, which I have been all my life. The retired hockey player is 60, so it's not as though 35 year old pro athletes are seeking me out....I was married and off the market at that time in my life, lol.

It is my hope to help men understand that sought after women have standards, have enough options to choose a man who meets those standards, and to advise men about who these women are, what their landscape is like, and how to relate. Good women are rare because they are rarely available. Men scoop up good women and they are not unattached for long.

So I'm a voice from the ladies' locker room offering a perspective. That's all. I'm in favor of great men in society. We have too few great men, and there needs to be more.

 

[Slowhandluke]

So I'm a voice from the ladies' locker room offering a perspective. That's all. I'm in favor of great men in society. We have too few great men, and there needs to be more.

John F Kennedy, Nelson Mandala, Franklin Roosevelt, etc... Society call these men "great". Guess what? These men have cheated on their wives.... and the woman that they cheated with. They weren't coerced or forced. It was consensual. Their lovers were active and willing participants.

In the real word, not some fairytale world, a lot of great men cheat. Ignore biology, and there will be grave consequences to women in general. Imagine a world where men will consider divorcing... "pre-divorcing" his wife causing emotional distress to his kids and his wife because he can imagine if things don't work out he will be massively, and financially hurt. This is a society that we live in now.


Whatever.. Less men are willing to commit. Perhaps that is for the better. Serial monogamy I guess is par for the course. Men who weren't married were looked down on in JFK's time... Now, it doesn't matter. So be it. There will always be great men.. and they will always have romantic partners. Will it be in the context of a husband cheating on his wife??? or just a great leader having serial relationships? I think the latter. Fun times. Marriage is slowly going away and people like BeExcellent are killing it. She just doesn't know she is

 

[Millard Fillmore]

It is my hope to help men understand that sought after women have standards, have enough options to choose a man who meets those standards, and to advise men about who these women are, what their landscape is like, and how to relate. Good women are rare because they are rarely available. Men scoop up good women and they are not unattached for long.

So I'm a voice from the ladies' locker room offering a perspective. That's all. I'm in favor of great men in society. We have too few great men, and there needs to be more.

That's a fair take. If a man finds a "good" woman and he wants a long term partnership he should keep that in mind.

Nevertheless, no matter how great she is, very few men will ever lose that itch for strange. I suspect it's true for most women too. Whether it's acted on is dependent on a number of factors. Mankind has tried to moralize it out of us every which way but the beat goes on.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Nevertheless, no matter how great she is, very few men will ever lose that itch for strange. I suspect it's true for most women too. Whether it's acted on is dependent on a number of factors. Mankind has tried to moralize it out of us every which way but the beat goes on.

If you learn from your past relationships, you will realise that the grass only looks greener on the other side. It isn't, really. And that dampens the curiosity for 'strange'.

 

[Divorced w 3]

He's only 8 years younger. Its not new info. I've discussed the various men who have approached me on any number of threads.

What I hear, over and over from high status men is that they find it refreshing to meet a beautiful woman who is genuine, classy, well spoken and kind.

Apparently the over riding majority of women these guys meet are shallow and self absorbed and vacuous. And yes I get the irony that some here hold that opinion of me but anyone who knows me outside this forum (including some forum members) know who I am and understand why/how that is appealing to a high value man.

I'm here as one voice, as an attractive sought after woman, which I have been all my life. The retired hockey player is 60, so it's not as though 35 year old pro athletes are seeking me out....I was married and off the market at that time in my life, lol.

It is my hope to help men understand that sought after women have standards, have enough options to choose a man who meets those standards, and to advise men about who these women are, what their landscape is like, and how to relate. Good women are rare because they are rarely available. Men scoop up good women and they are not unattached for long.

So I'm a voice from the ladies' locker room offering a perspective. That's all. I'm in favor of great men in society. We have too few great men, and there needs to be more.

Wow you're an exceptional woman.

- You are a single mother in your 50s, married to a 6'3" chad 15 years younger than you who is muscular, makes six figs, faithful to you and doesn't have kids

- You got a lot of money from your businesses

- And now the new info is that you get approached by muscular pro athletes who are multimillionaires with houses in US and Canada.

What does an exceptional woman like you have to gain coming to forums like this one? What can you possibly learn from mere mortals like us? Seriously.

She’s a real person. Her work ethic is impressive , it’s not ordinary but it’s also not impossible. I know women like her. She can hit from the women’s tee and she can hold her own in the sack, help you pair a nice glass of wine on the menu and she’ll do a project with you if you want to start something. It’s a real thing. Uncommon.

 

[EyeBRollin]

If you learn from your past relationships, you will realise that the grass only looks greener on the other side. It isn't, really. And that dampens the curiosity for 'strange'.

They don’t want to leave their wives / main chick. They don’t want more babies. They risk it for 10 minutes of pvssy. It is stupid and irrational, yet men still do it. We can try socializing it out of men but we fail.

Women must accept who men are. Given the opportunity, there is a probability men will exercise sexual options. Women do not have the leverage on this. Breaking up the family to try to find another man who will likely do the same thing is insanity. But that’s what we encourage in the west… You go girl! Show him!

 

[EyeBRollin]

Nevertheless, no matter how great she is, very few men will ever lose that itch for strange. I suspect it's true for most women too. Whether it's acted on is dependent on a number of factors. Mankind has tried to moralize it out of us every which way but the beat goes on.

It is not the same between men and women. The itch is natural for men. Biological inkling.

Most of us have met women that claim to have been cheated on in most or every relationship they have ever been in. Yet no one questions the girl on why she still has that expectation of men… The reality is staring her right in the face!

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Women must accept who men are. Given the opportunity, there is a probability men will exercise sexual options. Women do not have the leverage on this.

So, because men lack self control, women have to accept their philandering?

How about not committing to a monogamous relationship if you cannot control your urges? Or even if you could, but don't wanna?

I'm honest to women. For me, there's no upside in monogamy and commitment. If they want me, they'll have to share me. If they don't want to, that's their choice. What I won't do is pretend to be exclusive with them when I'm not.

Cheaters don't have the balls to be honest.

 

[EyeBRollin]

So, because men lack self control, women have to accept their philandering?

Women dont have to accept anything. They can die alone or be with a male with no other options.

How about not committing to a monogamous relationship if you cannot control your urges? Or even if you could, but don't wanna?

I'm honest to women. For me, there's no upside in monogamy and commitment. If they want me, they'll have to share me. If they don't want to, that's their choice. What I won't do is pretend to be exclusive with them when I'm not.

Cheaters don't have the balls to be honest.

You are confirming the entire argument. Like most men, you cannot stick to one sexual option. It is unnatural to do so.

What you are doing is passing a moral judgment on how other men choose to navigate the issue.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

What you are doing is passing a moral judgment on how other men choose to navigate the issue.

Excuse me for not praising cheaters for cheating.

I don't object on 'moral' grounds. I agree that (biologically) men are not meant to be monogamous. With regards to my personal ethics, I think it shows bad character to commit adultery. If you can't keep your vows, don't make them.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Like most men, you cannot stick to one sexual option. It is unnatural to do so.

Oh, but I can. I don't want to. When I make vows, I keep them.

And I look down on vow breakers, yes.

Integrity is important to me. I don't commit adultery and I never will. Every woman I've been with knows they will have to share me with other women. I know I 'missed out' on some women who would've chosen me if only I would commit to them exclusively, but I don't do that anymore, as it's not suitable to my lifestyle. Soit.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Excuse me for not praising cheaters for cheating.

I don't object on 'moral' grounds. I agree that (biologically) men are not meant to be monogamous. With regards to my personal ethics, I think it shows bad character to commit adultery. If you can't keep your vows, don't make them.

Objecting on “moral” grounds is exactly what you are doing. Talking out of both sides of your mouth.

Oh, but I can. I don't want to.

Sure, buddy.