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Different Religion

chuchu

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One of the thing that kept me from getting married is different religion. I'm not Catholic I dont want to convert and doesn't want my kids to convert. I've heard this sentence many times, "If we ever going to have kids, they will have to convert". It freaks me out and turn me off right away.

How do do you think you should deal with this?
 

Desdinova

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Look for someone with similar beliefs as you. Unfortunately, religion tends to separate people and cause conflict. When looking for a LTR, you have to determine how her attitude, morals, goals, and beliefs are going to affect your relationship.
 

Vincent Freeman

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Originally posted by Desdinova
Look for someone with similar beliefs as you. Unfortunately, religion tends to separate people and cause conflict. When looking for a LTR, you have to determine how her attitude, morals, goals, and beliefs are going to affect your relationship.
I agree with this. However, in the case you really don't end up finding someone of your same belief, I think it's only fair to allow your future children to choose their religion by presenting each of your views. In the end, it's their choice.
 

BigDawg

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I'm catholic and my ex-wife was presbyterian. She had talked of converting, but everything went to crap before that happened. But matters of faith were never the source of any conflict for us. There was no need, since there were so many other sources of conflict, heh.

I also dated a buddhist. Despite the differences in our beliefs, the relationship was always on solid ground. This relationship ended for other reasons (geography), but I thought that our personal beliefs were complementary, not adversarial.

But I believe that there should be some sort of agreement or common ground (even if the two people profess different religions or none at all) in a LTR when it comes to matters of faith, otherwise, it'll be another source of conflict that you don't need.
 

chuchu

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I haven't seen a relationship that truely last as a result of a different religion. There is alway some sort of argument about religion along the way that causes the relationship to end.

I'm dating a catholic girl, and I'm not Catholic, I dont want to convert. She doesn't expect me to attend church, but it doesn't seem like her family is happy with it. She wants to get marry but wants our kids to convert. I want my kids to have thier choice of religion. We avoid the subject as much as possible, but i guess in the future conflict will arise.
 

BigDawg

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If you're just dating, then I don't think religion should be an issue. But since you're thinking about marriage, you correctly assume that the differences may become a sticking point. I agree that the kids should be allowed a choice, but at a young age, I don't think they are mature enough to really understand the differences between all the religions. IMHO, conversion is something that they might consider when they are mature enough to know what they are choosing. But hey, I've never been a parent, and there are prolly a few parents out there who disagree with me.

In the marriages of many of my friends, either they or their spouse converted so that they would share a common religion, even if religion is not an important thing in their day-to-day lives.

I know one catholic girl who is dating an avowed atheist. She also comes from a family with very strong traditional beliefs, so they don't much like the guy. She is torn over it, to say the least.

Ahhh, religion: the cause of and solution to all of life's problems. Oh, wait, that's beer. I keep mistaking one for the other. :D
 

SAYNO

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For years, me and my wife argued over religion.
She wanted me to go to the meetings and I refused, it took me along time to explain to her why, even tho she was there when the tragedy struck, she has finally stopped attending these meetings, but she always talks about going back.

Religion divides...


Choose wisely!



SN'
 

Captain AFC

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You have to remember that religion is NOT just some separate entity or category in people's lives.

It's not just "Well, she's Catholic and I'm Episcopalean," or "She's Lutheran and I'm Baptist." Religion penetrates far deeper than that, although today's society would like to candy-coat the issue, what with all the "it's the opiate of the masses man!!!" as if a person is either "religious" or "not religious."

The reality is that EVERYONE is "religious," in that they have a personal, philosophical belief about how life should be lived. Religion isn't just about life at the highest order (god, cosmic energy, evolution, or whatever you feel is the central gear in the universe), but it's about the middle order and the lowest order of things. It can be something as simple as believing life should be lived mostly outdoors, or even something as stupid as valuing physical exercise.

There are too many movies and shows where they show two opposite religious people coming together and bonding together. And they think that not bonding together is just a sign of "religious intolerance," as if intolerance is always a bad thing.

But I don't believe that. My last relationship was one in which we both believed in a particular label of religion. But in terms of where we were at, personally, in that religion were far different. Her lifestyle today does not nearly reflect the one I live in terms of how "religion" permeates through us. Even then, just because the labels "match" doesn't mean that we match at all.

You don't have to find a perfect match, but I think too many overlook the fact that religious inclinations can have an dampening effect. It's not the ultimate killer or a guarenteed loss, but if your views don't at least compliment one another, then you're in for a little more struggle on your plate.
 

AbsoluteFreakinChump

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How would I deal with this?
I wouldn't date someone who was of a different faith than me in the first place.
Then it wouldn't be an issue right?


Originally posted by chuchu
One of the thing that kept me from getting married is different religion. I'm not Catholic I dont want to convert and doesn't want my kids to convert. I've heard this sentence many times, "If we ever going to have kids, they will have to convert". It freaks me out and turn me off right away.

How do do you think you should deal with this?
 
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