Didn't strike while the iron was hot

[Clownpaint]

In essence, I am fairly new to the whole DJ game but I've come pretty far.

Anyway, I moved skools in Sept and found a new girl who's pretty cool. We get the train together along with 2 other people (1 of each) and after about the first week I put my game into action and ever since have made fun of her etc. There's quite a lot of kino and I've never once paid her a compliment.

Anyway, she was telling the other boy that walks with us (he poses no threat tbh) that a boy at her work asked her if she wanted to do something with him at the weekend (this was yesterday) and she's "still deciding".

This was my big wake-up call because she's not gonna be on the shelf forever and made me realize that I'd made a grave AFC error by not striking while the iron was hot i.e. when she displayed she felt the ever-powerful emotion of ATTRACTION for me.

Now, I'm gonna ask her out tomorrow, I've decided. There's no reason she wouldn't want to go out with me; I'm pretty stunning, witty, on-the-ball and passionate about politics and stuff and she can see all this. However, I've never had to ask a girl out in a long time because the girls I've wanted to meet up with have been cheap "flings" at parties and **** just sort of happened.

Usually, I act now and think later but now I've AFCly let negative thoughts creep in like what is she rejects me? it will make walking to school in the morning and back so so awkward (or will it).

Basically, I wanna ask her out but have my back covered and act like I'm not too bothered that she said no if she does indeed do this.

Help appreciated,

ClOwNpAiNt

P.S. Are there any ways I can ensure I do ask her and not talk myself out of this. Cheerz.

 

[Boner da Stoner]

nice, my skillz are like throwing the girl back into the fire and making her brittle, she cracks when I strike!

As for your problem, its all in your head, there is no guarantee she will take the bait, you can only assume it will happen, and if it doesn't her loss... I understand some may not understand the mindset as most people say they are optimist, they are not truly.

The other guy is a chump in asking her IF she wants to do anything, even in sales you assume the sale and give an ultimatum, there may be counter offers, but as always it is a waste of money to wait for a better offer... women know this as do men of value....

So tell her you want to go to whatever and she can come if she wants, tell her when to meet you... she will either say no, when she will meet you, change of plans, or otherwise...

There are tons of posts on this subject, look for a post about dates and most likely there is a good response within the thread. Do some work, others have articulated the response better than I.

You said you don't want to APPEAR distraught if she says no, but the fact you are asking shows you DO... and thats your problem you can see and have expressed... work on that before you try and convince the girl that you are oblivious to the fact, NOT LYING.

 

[CrazyAsianBiker]

You know what man, in general you are on the right track.

YOU DID GREAT REALIZING THAT SHE WASN'T ON THE SELF FOREVER. VERY VERY GREAT.

Many people (as myself in the past) just keep saying witty comments every now and then etc. Letting time pass by as if these girls are never going to get boyfriends.

You are correct that you have gone a long way. Many people don't realize that shelf thing for a long time.

If it doesn't work out with this one, f*ck it, good job on your observing yourself skills.

 

[Clownpaint]

Cheers man.

I was thinking of trying to go along the lines of this tomorrow, IF I can isolate her from the other two, which may prove tricky:

This is if it doesn't go to plan

Me: So you got anything planned over the next few days?
Her: Bla bla bla. U?
Me: Yeah going to Bluewater (big shopping and entertainment complex)...(wait for a few seconds)...u wanna come with me?
Her: I dunno...
Me: Come on, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, shopping AND me - what more could a girl want?
Her: Who else is going?
Me: The first girl to accept this exclusive offer


Obviously it may not go like this but I think the material should be ok for the situation.

Any criticism (bad or good) would be welcome.

 

[Docs]

Don't ask if she's got something going on, if she's smart or plays games, she WILL put something here.

Instead, talk about shopping or something. I posted something of revelence to conversation in some other thread, but basically, you start with something and it expands. So you ask her about shopping and what she likes to look at (oh, those new clothes at x, so hot). You know that she's interested in shopping if she goes that far, so next...I would personally tease her about those clothes and how she really wanted the plastic model that made those clothes so sexy. Should kick a laugh and that's what you want.

"So, You and me are going to go see sexy plastic figures at Bluewater saturday, I call you at (some time) so I can pick you up. Be ready."

(Kill convo and leave, and don't piss around with early confirming calls)

Basically, she gets your drift, but you got some free teasing, and it's a good convo jump at the mall itself.


See how conversation expands?

 

[wavejams007]

Here is an approach to it. Grab her by the hair and say" You woman, go to my cave! See my fossil collection!" and call it love at first sight. That is the neanderthal alpha way.

J/k

Carpe Dium

 

[Clownpaint]

Yeah I see where you're coming from.

However, the last part about "killing the convo and leaving" is near-impossible because the only time I get to talk to her is in the 15 minute walk to school and sometimes I don't even get to do that so I really have to take the one chance I have, if I get one that is, which could be when we're still 10 mins away from school.

In this situation should I just change the subject to something completely different as quickly as possible?

 

[Docs]

If you have control of the conversation, you can ask whenever the hell you feel like. It should be easy to make 9 of those minutes about related things..like shopping. You want to have the control so you can tell her she's going with you.

So for 10 minutes...keep the related convo alive, ask and go poof.

 

[Bloke]

IMO you're already on the road to f*cking this up. What's the best time to call her? When should I say it? Should ask 5.678 seconds into the convo, or 7.88 seconds? BLAH BLAH. Don't flood your mind with when & how to do it, this alone shows your negativity.

Just ask her if she wants to go to Bluewater with you on the weekend. By the sounds of it I can't see her saying no, but if she were to she's simply not interested. It truly is that simple.

 

[Clownpaint]

OK, here's what happened.

I read all your posts before I went out this morning and like the last guy said - I thought yeah **** it - I'll just say it when I feel like it.

Anway, after school me and her and the other two were in town etc. and we were in a shop, when I was looking at something and she came over and after a few minutes of talking about shopping I asked her, while she was looking through something and then she said "Really?" and I was like "yeah" and she goes "I love Bluewater...." then she took something off the shelf and was like look at this. Needless to say, I knew I didn't need this so I was like fvck this for a laugh and just walked out.

So, to conclude; I made a rookie error; I didn't get stuck in when I should have done and now I'm in the friend zone with this girl.

However, it's not the be all and end all and I won't make the same mistakes with the next girl.