Did I do the right thing?

happatech

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Picked up on this HB8 that works in a restaurant I frequent, a couple of weeks ago. She's a younger girl (21), I'm 35. She was constantly flirting with me whenever I visited the restaurant, writing notes on my check, comping free food, etc. so I eventually went for it and asked for her number.

I texted her about 10-15 minutes after getting her number to set up a time to meet. We decided on dinner two days later but she ended up flaking the day before due to work/school. I understood, waited a day or two and rescheduled.

We ended up going out a week later and went to a nice restaurant about an hour away from the city. I drove. We talked in car the entire way there, there was definitely chemistry and some light touching (initiated by her). We held hands briefly going into the restaurant and joked about how long it took to get there.

About 3/4 of the way through dinner she asked if I had children (she's seen my son at the restaurant before so it's natural she'd ask), I said yes and she seemed to be fine with it or was just playing it off like she was okay with it. She got up to use the restroom and when she returned she said that her friend had an emergency and that she needed to leave as soon as dinner was over. (I knew this was going south right here so I asked the waiter for the check and drove her home).

During the ride home she kept apologizing but was a lot less engaged in conversation (she was texting most of the time on her phone). She asked if I was dating and I said "yes, sort of but not really" she mentioned that she was dating a guy but it wasn't serious and that she wasn't really into him because she's into older guys. She kept talking about how she loves kids and would like to meet my daughter etc. Basically she was trying to show interest in me, so I take this moment to ask her when she's free again, and she says Thursday would be good to do this again and we start talking about where we should go next.

Anyway, we get back to her place, she gives me a hug, and says she has a great time. She texts me 2 hours later (2-3 am) to say she got home safe and that her friend's okay. I don't respond because I'm knocked out. I text her back in the morning "Great. Glad to hear she's doing okay. I had a good time last night" and leave it at that.

About 8 hours later I text her and ask if she's still free Thursday. She says she'll check, asks what I wanted to do and I told her (dinner again). She texts back the next day saying she can't make it-- too much work and school. I say, okay and ask if there's anything I can help with? She's hesitant at first but then asks if I can help her summarize an essay she's reading (she's foreign btw, been here for a year or two). I start feeling like a sucker but say yes anyway and help her out.

About a day later, I text her again seeing if we can reschedule that Thursday date and she says she's still busy the next week but maybe we can meet again sometime this month?

At this point I'm over it. I didn't respond and deleted her number.

So guys, did I do the right thing?
 

taiyuu_otoko

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One thing you might consider, is not asking yourself if you did the "right" thing or the "wrong" thing.

Figure it's done, as you said.

Just review everything you did, and ask yourself:

"What may I have done differently?"

And file that information for NEXT TIME with the NEXT GIRL.

There really is not "right' or "wrong."

There is only "effective" and "not effective."

All girls and all situations are different.

So long as you accept that you can always improve your effectiveness, you've got nothing to worry about.
 

Reyaj

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Picked up on this HB8 that works in a restaurant I frequent, a couple of weeks ago. She's a younger girl (21), I'm 35. She was constantly flirting with me whenever I visited the restaurant, writing notes on my check, comping free food, etc. so I eventually went for it and asked for her number.

I texted her about 10-15 minutes after getting her number to set up a time to meet. We decided on dinner two days later but she ended up flaking the day before due to work/school. I understood, waited a day or two and rescheduled.

We ended up going out a week later and went to a nice restaurant about an hour away from the city. I drove. We talked in car the entire way there, there was definitely chemistry and some light touching (initiated by her). We held hands briefly going into the restaurant and joked about how long it took to get there.

About 3/4 of the way through dinner she asked if I had children (she's seen my son at the restaurant before so it's natural she'd ask), I said yes and she seemed to be fine with it or was just playing it off like she was okay with it. She got up to use the restroom and when she returned she said that her friend had an emergency and that she needed to leave as soon as dinner was over. (I knew this was going south right here so I asked the waiter for the check and drove her home).

During the ride home she kept apologizing but was a lot less engaged in conversation (she was texting most of the time on her phone). She asked if I was dating and I said "yes, sort of but not really" she mentioned that she was dating a guy but it wasn't serious and that she wasn't really into him because she's into older guys. She kept talking about how she loves kids and would like to meet my daughter etc. Basically she was trying to show interest in me, so I take this moment to ask her when she's free again, and she says Thursday would be good to do this again and we start talking about where we should go next.

Anyway, we get back to her place, she gives me a hug, and says she has a great time. She texts me 2 hours later (2-3 am) to say she got home safe and that her friend's okay. I don't respond because I'm knocked out. I text her back in the morning "Great. Glad to hear she's doing okay. I had a good time last night" and leave it at that.

About 8 hours later I text her and ask if she's still free Thursday. She says she'll check, asks what I wanted to do and I told her (dinner again). She texts back the next day saying she can't make it-- too much work and school. I say, okay and ask if there's anything I can help with? She's hesitant at first but then asks if I can help her summarize an essay she's reading (she's foreign btw, been here for a year or two). I start feeling like a sucker but say yes anyway and help her out.

About a day later, I text her again seeing if we can reschedule that Thursday date and she says she's still busy the next week but maybe we can meet again sometime this month?

At this point I'm over it. I didn't respond and deleted her number.

So guys, did I do the right thing?
Man reading this triggers some memories lol. It sounds like the children thing might have turned her off... She was trying to be nice pretending she has interest still as she knows she may see you again as well in the restaurant. It always stings when you know you did well to build their IL and get them out then something makes it plummet.. You'll be fine though, be proud of yourself for getting a date with such a young hottie, Next!
 

dude99

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Picked up on this HB8 that works in a restaurant I frequent, a couple of weeks ago. She's a younger girl (21), I'm 35. She was constantly flirting with me whenever I visited the restaurant, writing notes on my check, comping free food, etc. so I eventually went for it and asked for her number.

I texted her about 10-15 minutes after getting her number to set up a time to meet. We decided on dinner two days later but she ended up flaking the day before due to work/school. I understood, waited a day or two and rescheduled.

We ended up going out a week later and went to a nice restaurant about an hour away from the city. I drove. We talked in car the entire way there, there was definitely chemistry and some light touching (initiated by her). We held hands briefly going into the restaurant and joked about how long it took to get there.

About 3/4 of the way through dinner she asked if I had children (she's seen my son at the restaurant before so it's natural she'd ask), I said yes and she seemed to be fine with it or was just playing it off like she was okay with it. She got up to use the restroom and when she returned she said that her friend had an emergency and that she needed to leave as soon as dinner was over. (I knew this was going south right here so I asked the waiter for the check and drove her home).

During the ride home she kept apologizing but was a lot less engaged in conversation (she was texting most of the time on her phone). She asked if I was dating and I said "yes, sort of but not really" she mentioned that she was dating a guy but it wasn't serious and that she wasn't really into him because she's into older guys. She kept talking about how she loves kids and would like to meet my daughter etc. Basically she was trying to show interest in me, so I take this moment to ask her when she's free again, and she says Thursday would be good to do this again and we start talking about where we should go next.

Anyway, we get back to her place, she gives me a hug, and says she has a great time. She texts me 2 hours later (2-3 am) to say she got home safe and that her friend's okay. I don't respond because I'm knocked out. I text her back in the morning "Great. Glad to hear she's doing okay. I had a good time last night" and leave it at that.

About 8 hours later I text her and ask if she's still free Thursday. She says she'll check, asks what I wanted to do and I told her (dinner again). She texts back the next day saying she can't make it-- too much work and school. I say, okay and ask if there's anything I can help with? She's hesitant at first but then asks if I can help her summarize an essay she's reading (she's foreign btw, been here for a year or two). I start feeling like a sucker but say yes anyway and help her out.

About a day later, I text her again seeing if we can reschedule that Thursday date and she says she's still busy the next week but maybe we can meet again sometime this month?

At this point I'm over it. I didn't respond and deleted her number.

So guys, did I do the right thing?
Yes. Next.
 

Arcturus

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She crossed the line when she made up the fake emergency. Should have called her an uber or cab and had dinner for one.
 

womensview

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If u cant adjust to her commitments then u need to move on. Work and school take up a lot of time and if u don't have those commitments u don't understand. She is still interested she is just swamped. If she wasn't interested she would not have bothered.So u need to move on if u cant adjust.
 
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If u cant adjust to her commitments then u need to move on. Work and school take up a lot of time and if u don't have those commitments u don't understand. She is still interested she is just swamped. If she wasn't interested she would not have bothered.So u need to move on if u cant adjust.
I think she is interested because he can't adjust
 

womensview

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I didn't when I was working/school. The only time I had was wkends.
 

happatech

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If u cant adjust to her commitments then u need to move on. Work and school take up a lot of time and if u don't have those commitments u don't understand. She is still interested she is just swamped. If she wasn't interested she would not have bothered.So u need to move on if u cant adjust.
You think she's still interested even after the "fake emergency", the lack of engagement in the car on the way home, etc?
 

PrettyBoyAJ

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Girls aren't rocket science my friend. There are probably tens of thousands of single girls in your city alone. Why deal with a girl that isn't co-operative? Let a chick chase you, let a chick want to initiate the date. It's obvious she isn't interested in you because you guys made plans for a day and then she flaked out the first time and the last time. Plus her "friend" had an emergency in the middle of the date. I call bullshVt on that. You should've been the one to cut her off not vice versa buddy. Have some respect for yourself and deal with chicks that WANT to be with you.
 

SgtSplacker

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Sometimes it's harder to plan a formal date. Rather just ask her out for drinks for an hour near her place?
 
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