Did I Do the Right Thing Part 2

[nicksaiz65]

So I'll keep this very short. I was at work yesterday and I got called several racial slurs by this old white couple.

My friends were about to get up in their face and fight them. But I told them not to. Regarding the insults, I just sat back and laughed. I said it wasn't even worth my time, and if I get up in their face and start yelling, they've broken my frame and I'm showing them that what they say has power over me.

I'm curious, what would you Don Juans have done? Personally, I think that this was a great way to handle the situation. But I'm curious, would you all have fought?

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

You have to know when to remain calm and when to put your foot down. If someone says racial slurs to me without any reason, I’ll spit fire back in their face. No one ever does that to me though.

It’s about balance. You have to know when to play it cool and not care, but you also have to know when to put your foot down. If someone tries hurting my mom or dad, I might black out from rage and come back to consciousness in a pile of bones and blood. Does that mean that I broke frame? Maybe. But me being too scared to protect my family, too afraid to do something to someone else, that shows weakness because it would have meant that I am a pushover. I am not. So I will fight back. Obviously an extreme example, but you need to know when to have people respect you out of fear or out of likeability. It’s a balance. Know when to do which.

 

[speed dawg]

So I'll keep this very short. I was at work yesterday and I got called several racial slurs by this old white couple.

My friends were about to get up in their face and fight them. But I told them not to. Regarding the insults, I just sat back and laughed. I said it wasn't even worth my time, and if I get up in their face and start yelling, they've broken my frame and I'm showing them that what they say has power over me.

I'm curious, what would you Don Juans have done? Personally, I think that this was a great way to handle the situation. But I'm curious, would you all have fought?

I'm white and live in the South. I've never, not even once, heard a white person call a black person a racial slur to their face. It just doesn't happen, either due to fear of repercussion, or just PC in general. So, I'm sort of curious about the build up to the confrontation. A few questions:

- Was there any back and forth between you and the couple? I have a hard time they just started insulting you for no reason. In other words, what started it?
- How old are you and your friends?
- How old was the white couple?

 

[nicksaiz65]

You have to know when to remain calm and when to put your foot down. If someone says racial slurs to me without any reason, I’ll spit fire back in their face. No one ever does that to me though.

It’s about balance. You have to know when to play it cool and not care, but you also have to know when to put your foot down. If someone tries hurting my mom or dad, I might black out from rage and come back to consciousness in a pile of bones and blood. Does that mean that I broke frame? Maybe. But me being too scared to protect my family, too afraid to do something to someone else, that shows weakness because it would have meant that I am a pushover. I am not. So I will fight back. Obviously an extreme example, but you need to know when to have people respect you out of fear or out of likeability. It’s a balance. Know when to do which.

The more I think about it, I agree. I think I'm of the mentality where I'm not gonna break frame and let words hurt me because people will always have something to say. Now if you try to hit me, of course I'm gonna fight back. I'm not about to just sit there and take it.

 

[nicksaiz65]

I'm white and live in the South. I've never, not even once, heard a white person call a black person a racial slur to their face. It just doesn't happen, either due to fear of repercussion, or just PC in general. So, I'm sort of curious about the build up to the confrontation. A few questions:

- Was there any back and forth between you and the couple? I have a hard time they just started insulting you for no reason. In other words, what started it?
- How old are you and your friends?
- How old was the white couple?

1.) That's honestly just how it started. I play violin at a bar with some friends. And they said something like "Oh, I heard there was a good violinist here but I didn't know a n*gger could play violin." I looked at them, laughed, and said "I guess we'll see." Then went about my business.
2.) I'm 21, and my friends are mid twenties.
3.) At least in their 50s, I'd say.

 

[speed dawg]

1.) That's honestly just how it started. I play violin at a bar with some friends. And they said something like "Oh, I heard there was a good violinist here but I didn't know a n*gger could play violin." I looked at them, laughed, and said "I guess we'll see." Then went about my business.
2.) I'm 21, and my friends are mid twenties.
3.) At least in their 50s, I'd say.

If that's the way it happened, that's pretty rough. Look I'm certainly no liberal sympathizer, but any person who would willingly patronize someone like that is likely just a sh*tball human in general. Plus, like it or not, everyone knows that word is extremely insulting to black people.

I would imagine this is the exact situation that makes young black dudes want to beat the ever-loving h*ll out of an old white couple. Good on you for not doing it, all that would happen is that you'd get arrested. That situation would never happen around here, I guess whites and blacks are just so used to being around each other, that they know how to act. Black folks still cry racism but it's really not that bad. Disrespect still happens from both sides, but most of it isn't racial, it just gets labeled that way because that's what is entertaining to talk about.

Either way, THAT is what you're dealing with - disrespect. It's highly unlikely that this old couple has much to lose, so crying racism won't help too much. I hope, going forward, people start recognizing this for what it is and don't think that all white people have some weird untouchable privilege because one arsehole white couple disrespected you. They'd probably disrespect me too, just because they are pricks in general.

 

[nicksaiz65]

If that's the way it happened, that's pretty rough. Look I'm certainly no liberal sympathizer, but any person who would willingly patronize someone like that is likely just a sh*tball human in general. Plus, like it or not, everyone knows that word is extremely insulting to black people.

I would imagine this is the exact situation that makes young black dudes want to beat the ever-loving h*ll out of an old white couple. Good on you for not doing it, all that would happen is that you'd get arrested. That situation would never happen around here, I guess whites and blacks are just so used to being around each other, that they know how to act. Black folks still cry racism but it's really not that bad. Disrespect still happens from both sides, but most of it isn't racial, it just gets labeled that way because that's what is entertaining to talk about.

Either way, THAT is what you're dealing with - disrespect. It's highly unlikely that this old couple has much to lose, so crying racism won't help too much. I hope, going forward, people start recognizing this for what it is and don't think that all white people have some weird untouchable privilege because one arsehole white couple disrespected you. They'd probably disrespect me too, just because they are pricks in general.

Yeah man I feel you. Absolutely no reason to fight unless it’s in self defense. Cause that shows you have a broken frame if you do

 

[speed dawg]

old couple? record them. expose them

younger guy or something? someones mouth is getting cracked. ill get locked up for that

anyone telling you it doesnt happen is lying to you

Just YouTube or google any videos about white people needlesly going off on minorities for no reason.

There’s the wheelchair veteran guy that got irate cause a guy was talking Spanish on the phone with his mom

The drunk Texan on a beach harassing a whole family with kids

The recent Starbucks incident


Even one of my cousins got into it with a pedestrian who he ended up clocking on a busy nyc street after the guy tried to hit him first before hurling racial slurs. When the cops came, all the witnesses told the cops who started it

I’m not telling you to use violence but in some situations you should do something.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t waiting for someone to try me since it became cool to be an out in the open racist because of trump. I don’t care if it’s a 6’4 biker club white guy, someone’s jaw is getting wired shut if I ever encounter something like that.

Lucky for them, nobody has ever bothered me tho

Wrong. That is like 0.1% of the population. Stop acting like is mainstream stuff. Of course, it is profitable for you to do so.

People who know better laugh at folks like you. I sympathize with guys like the OP, and would definitely take his side in that situation. He's not looking for trouble, unlike you, the professional victim.

If something racist happens in 1 in every 1,000 incidents between a white and a black, in my mind, it never happens. I'm not basing my opinion on the far outlier. That's what liberals do.

I mean, bottom line, most white people don't give enough of a sh*t to be racist. I know that just throttles your fragile ego and all, but seriously. I just don't care. It never enters my mind to consider myself better than you due to our skin colors. The pro victim part? hahaha that's another story

"crack somebody's skull", haha, that's the reaction the agitators want, then they use you (the useful idiot) to cause more drama

 

[speed dawg]

You’re just big MAD because you know you wouldn’t talk half the shlt you do on this site in person and in my presenc.

You're right, I wouldn't. I said so in my previous post (at least regarding your skin color). Settle down internet cowboy.

However, I would make fun of you if you start cackling about cracking my skull and ranting around like a lunatic. But at the end of the day, I don't go around looking for fights. I have 'protection' for skull crackers who are out for that sort of thing.

 

[speed dawg]

Yea we all know that’s why you clutch your guns with an iron grip. Because of the scary brown/black man

PVSSY

The great equalizer

(p*ssy too)

Yet why are so many armed robberies committed by the scary black man? Are they scared too? I'm confused

 

[nicksaiz65]

I always had the mindset where you don't wanna fight unless they physically attack you. As a young black male, if I attacked an old white couple I'd be going to jail no matter what.

If words can break your frame, it isn't very solid at all.

This isn't being a b!tch, but to me it reeks of insecurity if you're about to pop off every time anybody says something about you.

 

[nicksaiz65]

You didn’t even read what I wrote

Ok to be fair it was late and I’m in finals week.

What would you suggest I do in this specific situation then?

 

[nicksaiz65]

you can confront people without using violence. you have to learn how to talk and speak up this has nothing to do with frame. get that out of your head.

You’re right. I never really got taught how to stand up for myself. What on Earth would I say in a situation like this? People are always trying to treat me like a doormat and it’s super annoying. On top of that, how do you know when you need to say something vs when to walk away like I did in this situation ?

 

[speed dawg]

You’re right. I never really got taught how to stand up for myself. What on Earth would I say in a situation like this? People are always trying to treat me like a doormat and it’s super annoying. On top of that, how do you know when you need to say something vs when to walk away like I did in this situation ?

Sometimes walking away or ignoring can make you appear weak. You have to respond, but not an emotional response out of anger. You have to respond in a way and conveys that they did not get to you. You have some advantages. After they called you the n-word, you should have walked up to them with your camera and say, "What? What was that word again? Who can't play the violin?" while laughing, or something like that.

Funny that MidnightCity is talking about confronting without violence, but he's talking about cracking people's jaw (and quietly WANTING to do so). I've long suspected this from a lot of folks like him. He's looking for trouble. He can't wait for whitey to say something to him. He's just angry. Doesn't know who he's angry at, so he points it towards white people, because it's easy to do so, and the media/culture says it's OK.

He'll come across the wrong white guy one day (ha, that 6'4" biker guy might be the one).

Anyways, the part about you being a doormat is the bigger issue here. If you're truly a doormat, even your friends/family are going to treat you that way. Ole white people are the least of your worries.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Sometimes walking away or ignoring can make you appear weak. You have to respond, but not an emotional response out of anger. You have to respond in a way and conveys that they did not get to you. You have some advantages. After they called you the n-word, you should have walked up to them with your camera and say, "What? What was that word again? Who can't play the violin?" while laughing, or something like that.

Funny that MidnightCity is talking about confronting without violence, but he's talking about cracking people's jaw (and quietly WANTING to do so). I've long suspected this from a lot of folks like him. He's looking for trouble. He can't wait for whitey to say something to him. He's just angry. Doesn't know who he's angry at, so he points it towards white people, because it's easy to do so, and the media/culture says it's OK.

He'll come across the wrong white guy one day (ha, that 6'4" biker guy might be the one).

Anyways, the part about you being a doormat is the bigger issue here. If you're truly a doormat, even your friends/family are going to treat you that way. Ole white people are the least of your worries.

One thing I remember from Weapons of Mass Seduction is “Even if you have to be a pr!ck, you must stand up for yourself.”

 

[zekko]

1.) That's honestly just how it started. I play violin at a bar with some friends. And they said something like "Oh, I heard there was a good violinist here but I didn't know a n*gger could play violin."

When you put yourself on a stage you expose yourself to all sorts of comments. You shouldn't have to hear racial slurs though. Strikes me as a particularly bad form of heckling.

Who knows what's in their head? They could be mentally ill for all you know. Certainly this isn't socially acceptable behavior. But when you add alcohol into a situation, anything can happen.

 

[speed dawg]

you havent been here long but speed dawg and a couple of others are most def white nationlists that will spin their narrative however they see fit. re read his posts to you and see through the bs. which btw they got trumps c0ck so far down their throats they only EVER appear when he or racism is mentioned

Hahahaha wut?

I guess I could always just say that you're an advocate of black power who wants to see all white people laying on the ground with a cracked jaw. I'd be more accurate than you too, the proof is in your posts above.

I really don't think you want me linking all the videos of violence toward whites, committed by blacks. Yeah, you REALLY don't want that. We're talking real violence, real pain, not spoken words. But I forget, you LIKE that, and all us white people deserve it, so maybe you do want that. Haha keep it up bro, your time is coming. Crack that jaw!

 

[Spaz]

So I'll keep this very short. I was at work yesterday and I got called several racial slurs by this old white couple.

My friends were about to get up in their face and fight them. But I told them not to. Regarding the insults, I just sat back and laughed. I said it wasn't even worth my time, and if I get up in their face and start yelling, they've broken my frame and I'm showing them that what they say has power over me.

I'm curious, what would you Don Juans have done? Personally, I think that this was a great way to handle the situation. But I'm curious, would you all have fought?

If it's an one off slight that's fine.

If it's consistently done by the same couple then inform them what they said is a racial slur and you won't take anymore, be assertive and firm but polite. They will get the message.

In life lots of people will end up saying lots of shiet abt you. If you truly know exactly what type of person you are then what they say doesn't matter. What you think about yourself matters.

The No. 1 rule in any given shiet storms is to always remain calm and collected, lesser emotional men will by default react almost immediately but a masculine man will be collected in his demeanour and actions.

Edit: Being emotional abt what people say is just plain feminine energy

 

[nicksaiz65]

"was this ******s violin playing to the lovely couples satisfaction tonight?"

you gotta remember these type of people are disgusted by others that arent like them. you hardly have to do a thing to get under their skin. just talking to them is enough to make them go off. you dont even have to raise your voice or say anything slick. hell, you can even ask them what you did wrong and how you can help solve their issue and watch the ensuing meltdown

you just gve your example, i gave my mine and this @sshole tries to tell you it doesnt really happen lmao

you havent been here long but speed dawg and a couple of others are most def white nationlists that will spin their narrative however they see fit. re read his posts to you and see through the bs. which btw they got trumps c0ck so far down their throats they only EVER appear when he or racism is mentioned

Thank you man. That makes sense. Just trying to figure out how to handle these situations because I know they will happen again

 

[nicksaiz65]

I’ve gotten some good advice so far in this thread. It’ll be a good update to my code of ethics. Thanks guys.