Did I do the right thing? [merged]

[hudpes]

On a TV documentary on relationships there was this couple, married for many years and at one point she had a platonic affair. She fell in love with another guy, but never even kissed him, she controlled herself and she stayed faithful to her husband, and she told him about it truthfully. He was devastated of course, and she was unhappy, depressed. She says a year later she still has feelings for him, but loves her husband also, just in a different way than the other guy.

Now, I'm thinking there is a certain quality about some people unable to stop looking back once they decided to go forward - your fiancee seems to be one of those. It was only a crush, but it was as real as fungal infection on your toes, you don't want to believe it, but it's there and it's persistent and resilient. If she wanted to, she would quit her job, avoid him, forget him - or quit you, can't have both, it's unfair to all. But that guy, that guy is what is wrong with the world. What the **** is going on in the mind of a man who's flirting with a happily engaged woman??? I don't see much wrong doing that if she was obviously in an abusive or unhealthy relationship, but dude, if she seems fine and you see the ring, have the common courtesy to back the **** away, there are plenty of single women out there..

 

[peaceseeker]

I don't see much wrong doing that if she was obviously in an abusive or unhealthy relationship, but dude, if she seems fine and you see the ring, have the common courtesy to back the **** away, there are plenty of single women out there..

The relationship started to have more difficulties because of my job situation, and my temper because of it. But I still think, especially if she is engaged to me, that we should work through the problems. I don't think it was right for to jump ship after the FIRST major obstacle I faced in our 4 years together. Before this, I was dominating. But I hit the wall for the first time and she bails.

 

[peaceseeker]

Two weeks of no contact from either party. Man this is tough. I miss her so much .

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

This is painful to listen to......

Holy sh!t dude, you just let some guy take her over? Just like that? Yo, your girl has moved on bro. She ain't coming back, at least not for another year anyway. And at that point you will be with another girl. Anyway, it's too late with this girl so what I will tell you will be advice for you to apply with your next girl.

Look man, my father is sometimes one of the most AFC motherfvckers you will ever meet. But the reason why he kept my mother is because he was SUPER compassionate. Like near insanity type sh!t. He will do whatever my mom asks and whenever. Unless she attacks his pride or takes away his dignity (because then he becomes the toughest, most hardened, conscience-lacking emotionless sociopath in known history; he will go mega alpha by turning into Hitler to not only lead her, but everyone having to do with him so that he gets what he wants. Then he uses Inception mindfvckery along with Charles Manson psychology to manipulate everyone to be on his side and make my mom feel like crap for mistreating him. If someone begins to realize all of this, then he pulls a Jim Jones type move and twists the whole situation into a 'you-are-disobeying-God' type thing which keeps all mouths shut after that :rockon: ). And going for another man hurts my father's pride and does affect his dignity.

When he first got engaged to my mom, there was some guy that my mom liked or used to like at the time. He kept trying to contact her and when my dad found out, he was gonna kill the other dude until my mom convinced him not to (back in his third world country, that was how they handled that type of situation). When my mother went through midlife, she liked a coworker of hers. Pops then decided to do some sort of gypsy witchcraft or something like that to get this dude get another woman pregnant. This guy lost his job once everyone discovered it. Went on his record after that. That dude is just living off of food stamps now. Used to be a doctor making a boatload of cash.

Needless to say, my dad is quite the man when put under the situation .

What the moral of the story is: you gotta be compassionate and literally fight another man for your girl. Prove to her that you will die for her and that you will do what she wants, but that you wont let her take away your dignity or insult what you stand for either. Prove to her that you won't let anyone stand between you two ever. Because you are her man. And because she is your woman.

 

[Leprechaun2013]

then he pulls a Jim Jones type move

Hope you and your mom didn't drink the Flavor Aid :crackup:

but I fell in love hard for my girl. We were best friends for a year about five years ago. After one year of friendship, I finally busted out of the friend zone and she became my girlfriend.

The question here is, did I do the right thing?

It was the wrong thing to do to get in a relationship with her. Being in the friend zone worked out as a disadvantage that you can now see. So much extra work involved to get passed the friend zone into a relationship. The guy she was cheating with barely had to put in any work like you did. She wasn't as invested into it as you were so that made her able to seek out other men when you were only her friend before.
You did the right thing by dumping her she is not a good woman to have. Let this be a lesson for you, friends don't make good long term lovers in relationships. Women aren't into it as much as the guy is when the guy is left with a broken heart.

 

[Poop1337]

You miss a fantasy she is evil. I miss my ex too, but the truth is she was an evil *****. You're 28 you can start to enjoy the power that comes with dating a 6+ year younger girls. You will find some one better than your ex and you shouldn't be having a the one mentality right now. Like I told you before feel free to use her for sex while you find another girl but I don't know if you're capable of that given the way you're acting. It's fine to have emotions but let reason be your true guide you have a lot of information here. Go read the rational male best of year one