Definitions of man

[Mr.Positive]

We tend to put ourselves in labels, such as alpha's, betas, etc. These terms are easy to see, and we can separate men based upon any social interactions, such as weddings, bar scenes, etc. The man surrounded by women must be an alpha, etc.

However, in my experience, there's a third 'type' of man that's more loosely defined. For years, I wondered what separates these men, from the rest, was it achievements in life, or were they born with it, was it earned through the pain of trudging through the mud to reach the top of the hill. Did they compete with others for it? Such as the alpha dominating the betas?

These men have command presence. To define this in words is difficult, but these men are respected in a way that's so true in nature.

Men with command presence do not earn your respect. You respect them, it's not a choice. It's just the way it is. To describe how or why is damn near impossible.

For example, in my industry, the guys at the very top have so much responsibility, that a mistake could make worldwide news. A mistake could cause a tragedy that takes many lives. To think about their duties, put's them in level so high....there's the president, then these guys.

I've met many of them, and they all have striking similarities with each other. They are all humble in nature, very friendly, extremely confident, and when you are in their presence, you know that whatever happens these guys would have your back in life, and any challenges faced would lead to success. They never make you feel as though your are beneath them in any way, nor challenge your respect as well.

These guys are unique. If you saw one walking down the street, without saying a word, or nodding glance...you'd respect them. You have no choice about it actually. You just do. Their presence is that impressive.

As I gain more confidence in my job, it's one of action as well, I feel as though I am heading down that same path in life. Gaining this presence. I see it more and more how stangers view me, how I make my shots in my job, much like a baseball player stepping to the plate. He doesn't 'hope' he hits a homerun, to hit that homerun, he's so confident in his abilities, he knows it.

A funny thing, as I gain more and more of this confidence, I find myself actually more humble. People I meet, seem more open and calm, less guards up, and it's apparent in the way they act that it's in a freindly respectful nature, as I do them.

I think gaining this presence, is the ultimate goal, imo.

 

[zekko]

Mr. Positive, I know you want to maintain some sort of anonymity, but can you tell us what your work is? I can see you're trying to avoid it, but practically your entire post was about it, so one can't help but wonder. I remember you talking about "making shots" in a prior post. Sounds like maybe the military or perhaps some sort of fishing vessel?

 

[Mr.Positive]

Mr. Positive, I know you want to maintain some sort of anonymity, but can you tell us what your work is? I can see you're trying to avoid it, but practically your entire post was about it, so one can't help but wonder. I remember you talking about "making shots" in a prior post. Sounds like maybe the military or perhaps some sort of fishing vessel?

I work in the maritime industry, inland waters.

The guys I mentioned are Bar Pilots. This is the top spot in the maritime industry, these guys make 450K a year, some years much more.

What the pilots do, is board a ship coming into port and pilot it to the dock. These ships are massive, and could take out bridges, docks, dump millions of gallons of oil, etc..cause catastrophic damage if mistakes happen.

The stress is massive, and takes a certain breed of man. Ships come in from all over the world, and these guys need to have the respect of the captain immediately. The captain needs to know, often without words due to the language barrier, that his ship is in safe hands.

Hence, these guys have a presence about them that is very inspirational. The more of them I get to know them, I see the similarities.

 

[catman]

How do you go about getting such a job?? Special school or??

 

[Zarky]

As I've said many times before I think it's unhelpful to lump people into broad categories. It might be a little helpful at first when you're a complete noob, but then it rapidly becomes unhelpful because you expect people to behave in the ways that the categories predict and, invariably, they behave otherwise.

It's much better to assume that most people are wildly different and pay attention to the small cues that each person gives you which will unlock his/her own individuality.

 

[jafyk]

A man

A male being who makes a woman feel better about herself

A male who doesn't show his emotions so he doesn't look weak

A sperm donor

A male who takes care of his family and responsibilities

A male whose life on earth is all about getting laid

A male that is a means to an for a woman

A clumsy idiot who takes unecessary risks for run (as seen in commercials and extreme sports)

A male who is 18yrs +

of the male gender who is the natural leader of his community

 

[LovelyLady]

If by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

 

[squirrels]

Mr. P, I know the kind of guy you talk about.

I've never really been able to put my finger on what it is that "makes" that kind of person.

Sure, it's confidence. But it's beyond that...it's almost in the way they carry themselves...as if they EXPECT you to look up to them. Not in a conceited way, they're just so "used to it".

 

[Mr.Positive]

Sure, it's confidence. But it's beyond that...it's almost in the way they carry themselves...as if they EXPECT you to look up to them. Not in a conceited way, they're just so "used to it".

squirrels, it's the 'old breed' of men that are going away.

Most of this site is proof of that.

 

[squirrels]

squirrels, it's the 'old breed' of men that are going away.

Most of this site is proof of that.

You can't go by an Internet forum.

I've said it before...people on this forum are forum-people first and "Don Juans" second. They're all jockeying for forum reputation, and I find myself guilty of it sometimes as well. But it isn't fulfilling.

If I had to describe the type of man I THINK you're talking about, in any social circle/social event, it seems like there's always SOME guy who is the "star" of the movie and the other guys are "supporting cast". Even when the "star" isn't there, somehow he comes up as the topic of conversation.

I've never felt like the "star", like the center of any social circle. I've tried to man up and get there, but I always feel like supporting cast.

I'm not sure what it is that makes that person the "star". Is it confidence? Skill at the task at hand? Reputation? How is it that NEW people who come into the group immediately recognize that person as the strong center of the group? How is it that new women to the group immediately know who it is they should be trying to hook up with/earn the favor of??

How do I "get that"?

 

[Mr.Positive]

.

If I had to describe the type of man I THINK you're talking about, in any social circle/social event, it seems like there's always SOME guy who is the "star" of the movie and the other guys are "supporting cast". Even when the "star" isn't there, somehow he comes up as the topic of conversation.

I've never felt like the "star", like the center of any social circle. I've tried to man up and get there, but I always feel like supporting cast.

How do I "get that"?

Squirrels, cheers, I didn't mean to cast judgement on any folks on the forum with that last comment...you are right this is just an internet forum.

The 'type' of guy I'm talking about is not even close to a "star" of any social circle actually. As another poster mentioned, placing people into types isn't beneficial...however, these guys really are a type of person. They don't attract attention, yet they have an aura about them that just commands respect.

These guys aren't the guys you'd find surrounded by women in a club, or party. Yet, if they approached a guy who's surrounded by women...everyone would respect them.

These guys, and I can't place my finger on it...are just respected. Everywhere, by everyone. Hell, you could probably drop them of in afghanistan and the taliban would respect them. It's really something actually, and I know this probably makes no sense, but I thought it was worth making a thread about it anyhow.

BTW, I've never felt like a star either, and am more like a supporting cast. I really don't care though.

 

[squirrels]

I'm not talking about "star" in the glamour-sense of the word...more in the sense of "controlling the frame", if you want to call it that.

But maybe we're talking about two different things, then.

 

[romangod]

I've met many of them, and they all have striking similarities with each other. They are all humble in nature, very friendly, extremely confident, and when you are in their presence, you know that whatever happens these guys would have your back in life, and any challenges faced would lead to success. They never make you feel as though your are beneath them in any way, nor challenge your respect as well.

.

You hit the nail on the head, Mr. P.


"Confidence" and " humility" are the key ingredients in these types you describe. Being humble is a true sign of enlightenment and awareness that it's not all about them. They're confident enough in themselves to march to the beat of their own drum while realizing that not everyone is marching in step.

They are also men of good character that will be there when you need them. They've got your back because it it is the right and courageous thing to do.


It is understandable that people are drawn to them. They have the traits that most are lacking. True confidence in themselves combined with a good character to do the right thing is rare indeed.

If one of these types is your close friend you've been blessed.


Cheers!

 

[Jitterbug]

We tend to put ourselves in labels, such as alpha's, betas, etc. These terms are easy to see, and we can separate men based upon any social interactions, such as weddings, bar scenes, etc. The man surrounded by women must be an alpha, etc.

The labels you see on sites like this are in the context of seducing women.

The men you mentioned are of the type known as "a man's man". Few of them are also ladies men. Different contexts.

A lot of ladies men I know in real life are quite feminine fellas and don't command that much respect from other men outside of their skills with the women.