This thread is not about women. It's about my life. I'm not entirely sure how to proceed and how to weigh the options I have in front of me.
I've recently finished my physics degree at one of the best German universities with a very good grade, after which I took some time off to take care of my mom's heritage. She left us a little something, but it was scattered and my sister is not one to take such things seriously, so I made it my part-time job to pick up all the bits and stack them up again neatly.
Then I started thinking about what I want to do with my life and my degree. I've always been very conflicted about that because I'm very hard to motivate for ideas that aren't my own. This would make it quite hard for me to take up a job somewhere and work for someone on what aren't my ideas. I'd get bored easily, start counting the minutes until the workday is up, etc. Life is too short for this.
Almost everybody in my family has always been of the opinion that I should get a PhD. This is a bit different in Germany than it is in the states. Getting a PhD in the states almost always makes you a scientist or a professor. In Germany, many people get a PhD because of the experience and the seniority it confers and then take it outside the university.
Personally, I never thought I'd be getting one. I didn't want to spend my time doing basic research. I like to do things that I can see the immediate use of. Play around with ideas and fiddle around with building blocks, seeing how they fit together. Which is why I've always had fun with webdesign and programming little tools, messing around with computers.
But looking for jobs, it became apparent fairly quickly that with a physics degree, I'd be either doing boring programming jobs (think anti-virus or software for banks or something), or 70 hour jobs (like consulting) or research in some company.
So, on a whim, I sent out two applications for PhD positions in Munich in the field that is interesting to me. Note that I didn't say fascinating. One professor had no openings, the other invited me to an interview and offered me the position. It would be a full-time job, paying about 85-90% of what I could hold out for in a company, a topic that sounds interesting to me and probably holds opportunities for fiddling about with technical stuff. It's not too theoretical and would get me out of the "pure theoretical stuff" physics corner. In a little over four years, I'd have four years of working experience and decent pay, one of the highest degrees in Germany and I could probably get this done by the time I'm 30.
The downside is that the position is square in the middle of Munich, and I hate large towns. I thought for sure that after my degree I'd be able to get out of Munich and settle somewhere just outside a smaller town. I don't know the people I'd be working with, but at a first glance they seemed like a mixture of sober hard-working nerds and career fanatics. I'm worried that I'll be spending ten hours a day in that place and that it won't really be fun enough to keep me from being miserable all the while.
But what's holding me back is this - is this really what I want? My mom, the person who knew me best, shortly before she passed, told me she didn't think a PhD would be the thing for me. I don't remember the exact reasons but they had something to do with what I mentioned above; that I should go out into a field that I love and fiddle around with things, try stuff out, and not get stuck into some basic research or theoretical thing in a university.
What's more is the fact that I don't have the feeling I've done all I could to find jobs that would fit me. Some part laziness, some part being scared, to be completely honest. Part of me is still scared of going out into the big world and just take up something that sounds good to me. Especially considering that ever since I was a little boy, my dad would always tell me how important it is to find a good job, work as much as the company wants you to and stick to it. The idea in my head is that once you've found a job, you're stuck with it, for better or for worse. My dad has always worked in the same company, by the way. And he's what you'd call a workaholic.
I'm not a workaholic. I just want to find something that's fun to do, that I'm good at and pays enough for a decent lifestyle and savings for later, not any of this "get rich by 35" crap. I guess the best fit for me would be freelance work, but I have neither the connections nor the certainty that my skills are so extraordinary in any area as to compete with established freelancers.
Note that women figure nowhere in this. I don't care at all about getting a degree to "get better women" or "make more money to get better women". If anything, I'd a attract status *****s.
I'm a guy who likes to be comfortable. I'm safety-oriented in that I don't like to gamble and prefer trading off money and status for freedom of time and decision.
Still, would I be closing off too many options if I didn't take the PhD? Would it be worth the time and work to have this degree at just under 30? Will this give me more freedom? Am I just hopping on the first opportunity that looks good on paper? Or is the PhD position a wise decision objectively?
I'm sure this is not very well ordered, since it's just a collection of my thoughts on the subject. But I'd appreciate any input, any thoughts.
I've recently finished my physics degree at one of the best German universities with a very good grade, after which I took some time off to take care of my mom's heritage. She left us a little something, but it was scattered and my sister is not one to take such things seriously, so I made it my part-time job to pick up all the bits and stack them up again neatly.
Then I started thinking about what I want to do with my life and my degree. I've always been very conflicted about that because I'm very hard to motivate for ideas that aren't my own. This would make it quite hard for me to take up a job somewhere and work for someone on what aren't my ideas. I'd get bored easily, start counting the minutes until the workday is up, etc. Life is too short for this.
Almost everybody in my family has always been of the opinion that I should get a PhD. This is a bit different in Germany than it is in the states. Getting a PhD in the states almost always makes you a scientist or a professor. In Germany, many people get a PhD because of the experience and the seniority it confers and then take it outside the university.
Personally, I never thought I'd be getting one. I didn't want to spend my time doing basic research. I like to do things that I can see the immediate use of. Play around with ideas and fiddle around with building blocks, seeing how they fit together. Which is why I've always had fun with webdesign and programming little tools, messing around with computers.
But looking for jobs, it became apparent fairly quickly that with a physics degree, I'd be either doing boring programming jobs (think anti-virus or software for banks or something), or 70 hour jobs (like consulting) or research in some company.
So, on a whim, I sent out two applications for PhD positions in Munich in the field that is interesting to me. Note that I didn't say fascinating. One professor had no openings, the other invited me to an interview and offered me the position. It would be a full-time job, paying about 85-90% of what I could hold out for in a company, a topic that sounds interesting to me and probably holds opportunities for fiddling about with technical stuff. It's not too theoretical and would get me out of the "pure theoretical stuff" physics corner. In a little over four years, I'd have four years of working experience and decent pay, one of the highest degrees in Germany and I could probably get this done by the time I'm 30.
The downside is that the position is square in the middle of Munich, and I hate large towns. I thought for sure that after my degree I'd be able to get out of Munich and settle somewhere just outside a smaller town. I don't know the people I'd be working with, but at a first glance they seemed like a mixture of sober hard-working nerds and career fanatics. I'm worried that I'll be spending ten hours a day in that place and that it won't really be fun enough to keep me from being miserable all the while.
But what's holding me back is this - is this really what I want? My mom, the person who knew me best, shortly before she passed, told me she didn't think a PhD would be the thing for me. I don't remember the exact reasons but they had something to do with what I mentioned above; that I should go out into a field that I love and fiddle around with things, try stuff out, and not get stuck into some basic research or theoretical thing in a university.
What's more is the fact that I don't have the feeling I've done all I could to find jobs that would fit me. Some part laziness, some part being scared, to be completely honest. Part of me is still scared of going out into the big world and just take up something that sounds good to me. Especially considering that ever since I was a little boy, my dad would always tell me how important it is to find a good job, work as much as the company wants you to and stick to it. The idea in my head is that once you've found a job, you're stuck with it, for better or for worse. My dad has always worked in the same company, by the way. And he's what you'd call a workaholic.
I'm not a workaholic. I just want to find something that's fun to do, that I'm good at and pays enough for a decent lifestyle and savings for later, not any of this "get rich by 35" crap. I guess the best fit for me would be freelance work, but I have neither the connections nor the certainty that my skills are so extraordinary in any area as to compete with established freelancers.
Note that women figure nowhere in this. I don't care at all about getting a degree to "get better women" or "make more money to get better women". If anything, I'd a attract status *****s.
I'm a guy who likes to be comfortable. I'm safety-oriented in that I don't like to gamble and prefer trading off money and status for freedom of time and decision.
Still, would I be closing off too many options if I didn't take the PhD? Would it be worth the time and work to have this degree at just under 30? Will this give me more freedom? Am I just hopping on the first opportunity that looks good on paper? Or is the PhD position a wise decision objectively?
I'm sure this is not very well ordered, since it's just a collection of my thoughts on the subject. But I'd appreciate any input, any thoughts.
