Dear SoSuave....I failed you guys...sorry

[Rebound Material]

This is in regards to this chick: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=149546

I just got home from her house...before that we were clubbing with her friends, got into a little argument...kiss and made up...then we're in her room...She was on top of me, I was fingering her, sucking on her titty...then when it came time to do the deed, I couldnt get the fcuk up...I also told myself that before I was to do it, I was gonna tell her that I was a virgin...so i did...she wouldnt believe me until she noticed that I wasn't up, she reached into my pants and started jerking me off with her hand...it worked for a bit but it went away soon after...Ive had this probem EACH TIME its supposed to happen...I fcukin hate me for it...When Im making out, grinding on the dance floor, and basically doing the things other than sex, Im so UP...but when it comes time, I cant get it up. I guess Im so nervous and think so much that I can't get up...She told me it was ok and soon after I had to go home because its fcukin 5:30AM here...she was still in disbelief that this "pvssy monster" is a virgin....I really dont know how i can salvage this...She just texted me saying how she couldnt believe that I was a virgin(and to get hom safe cuz I was drunk)....

help guys...it was sooo embarrassing...

 

[Jitterbug]

Performance anxiety + alcohol = boner killer. Can happen to anyone. Many people have performance issues when having sex with a new partner for the first time. Don't worry too much, mate (unless it keeps happening with the same partner many times - then you'll need to see a doc).

You can catch up with her later and give it another try. Don't beat yourself up over it. Just relax, make yourself comfortable, take it slow. The slower the build-up, the longer it will last. If you get too excited too soon (all that grinding on the dance floor didn't help), you're only good enough for a quickie.

Why the hell were you so desperate to tell her that you're a virgin anyway?

 

[pingpongz]

U shouldn't be drunk when trying to have sex if u are a floppy type of person

 

[slaog]

Did you tell her you were the "pvssy monster" and then couldn't get it up??! :crackup:

There is a way out of it.

Turn it around to make it seem you it's a good thing for you. Just say you are a virgin because you have very high standards and won't sleep with just anybody. If she has a bit of class it won't matter to her as much as you think.

 

[everywomanshero]

yep

Dude there was a time when this **** was happening to me to. Stress, depression, and anxiety can definitely cause this. In my case I was driving around all the time and seeing several chicks at once but none of them lived very close by (about 30 miles apart each). I was eating out at least once a day, never exercising, and always stressed out about gas, time, dealing with *****y chicks, etc. If you're deeply stressed, and especially if you're not taking good care of your self in general, this can and probably will be an issue again.

I suggest to make sure you exercise, take time to meditate, and learn some basic destressing techniques to help with performance anxiety. The same techniques people use to calm down for public speaking should be useful to you for this issue (deep breathing, cognitive restructuring, etc.)

 

[Single_Sucks]

mate some of us can't get it up when there is alcohol involved. If you can see it coming then stop drinking the beers in preperation, or not so much.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

I think your first mistake was telling her you were a virgin. The first time I had sex I didn't tell the girl I was a virgin. But, thanks to sites like this I read some articles on how to be good in bed. So, I applied some of the techniques for my first time.

Don't beat yourself up over it. Look how close you got until the alcohol effected your c0ck. I know you can get just as far again.

 

[Warrior74]

What is the freaking upside of declaring to a woman you are virgin? What are the possible negative effects? I think its best to keep that info to yourself.

 

[suavesuave]

5:30am just tell you were tired.