Dealing With The "Be My BF" Conversation

[K.Pez]

i posted this in another thread, but decided to make it a topic in the hopes of getting a lot of good responses.

so i have been hanging out, on-and-off, with this girl since the middle of last semester. nothing too serious, just having fun. (i have been going on dates with other girls the whole time.)

over the weekend we went out to lunch and then she came back to my dorm. there, she asks me "do you want to be my boyfriend?" then my roommate walks in and i was saved from having to give an answer.

what do i say to that kind of question? friends have told me to do the whole "i'm going through a lot right now and can't handle a committed relationship right now" thing, but i would much rather respond with something else.

i want to keep hanging out with this girl, but i don't want to be in an exclusive relationship. i do like her, but i don't want to be committed to one person. she has been going on dates with other guys, so i was surprised when she asked me to be her boyfriend. i'm not sure what to say to a question like this. if i have to tell her straight up, no, and stop hanging out with her, then i can do that.

i'm just wondering if there are any other replies to her asking me to be her bf other than the "going through a lot right now" one.

 

[Dr.Gonzo]

Be real man. Tell her your not digging the exclusivity that monogamous relationships promise. You F***ing her yet? If not try and sly that in somehow......

 

[Kal0051]

just be honest with her. Tell her you don't want to be in an exclusive relationship, that you'd rather date more than 1 girl. Either she'll be cool with it or will break it off and go find that relationship somewhere else.

Personally it annoys me when a girl thinks she'll be in a exclusive relationship with a guy and he has no intention of that and just lies about it. I've asked out a few girls like this and they always had the excuse that their "bf" and them are in a relationship. But I know better, I know the guy is just playing the field and isn't being honest with the girl (probably so the girl doesn't leave and he can still sleep with her).

 

[Bible_Belt]

what do i say to that kind of question?


You don't say anything. Dodge the question, which is what happened for you by accident, and then forget that she asked. Act like nothing happened. Then time it right, get her alone, and have sex with her. And then resume continuing to act like nothing ever happened.

 

[K.Pez]

i don't plan on lying to her or leading her on by having her think we're exclusive while i continue what i am doing. i'm not that type of person. i just wasn't sure how to go about sending the message that i am not interested in dating without being cliche about it - which was the advice i was getting from my friends.

we have been having sex. i was just really taken by surprise when she asked me to be her boyfriend when i know that she is seeing other guys and she knows i am seeing other girls. i feel like her question came from out of nowhere.

i figure that if she does bring it up again that i'll just say "what's wrong with what we have" and tell her that "i'm not interested in getting into a serious relationship right now," which is truthful. if, after i tell her this, she wants to stop hanging out then i'm fine with that. i'll just hang out with one of the other girls more often. i guess there is no ****y and funny way to respond to this.

 

[Kal0051]

i don't plan on lying to her or leading her on by having her think we're exclusive while i continue what i am doing. i'm not that type of person. i just wasn't sure how to go about sending the message that i am not interested in dating without being cliche about it - which was the advice i was getting from my friends.

we have been having sex. i was just really taken by surprise when she asked me to be her boyfriend when i know that she is seeing other guys and she knows i am seeing other girls. i feel like her question came from out of nowhere.

i figure that if she does bring it up again that i'll just say "what's wrong with what we have" and tell her that "i'm not interested in getting into a serious relationship right now," which is truthful. if, after i tell her this, she wants to stop hanging out then i'm fine with that. i'll just hang out with one of the other girls more often. i guess there is no ****y and funny way to respond to this.

personally I think the best thing to do here is be honest. Like I said she'll either be cool with it or she won't. Though I think she won't be ok with it, by the sound of it she wants a relationship with you and is probably lying about seeing other guys. And I don't think there is a ****y and funny way to respond to this without making you look like some *******. Good luck and I hope she'll cool with it, but if she isn't at least you have other girls.

 

[K.Pez]

just wanted to update you guys a little bit on what happened...

so she called me on tues saying she wanted to meet up that night, but i was busy. i was only free this afternoon. we met at the commons and ate. she asked me if i thought about what she asked.

i told her straight up that i didn't want an exclusive relationship with anyone right now. she told me that she is interested in getting into a serious relationship and "it's a shame that we don't want the same things right now". she also said that she doesn't want to hang out (aka have sex) with me anymore - she wants to look for someone who she can have an exclusive relationship with. i was surprised that she reacted maturely through the whole thing. i've heard of guys telling girls this and the girls throwing temper tantrums.

i don't have too much exclusive relationship experience, since i've only had one girlfriend and predominately date, so you all helped a lot with this. thanks for the great advice.

 

[KontrollerX]

"i told her straight up that i didn't want an exclusive relationship with anyone right now. she told me that she is interested in getting into a serious relationship and "it's a shame that we don't want the same things right now". she also said that she doesn't want to hang out (aka have sex) with me anymore - she wants to look for someone who she can have an exclusive relationship with. i was surprised that she reacted maturely through the whole thing. i've heard of guys telling girls this and the girls throwing temper tantrums.

i don't have too much exclusive relationship experience, since i've only had one girlfriend and predominately date, so you all helped a lot with this. thanks for the great advice."

You should of played along for a few weeks or months and boned the crap out of her while seeing other chicks on the side.

Should of boned her until you got caught, chances are even if she caught you she'd still want to keep you in her life and fvcking her if you made her have enough fun while you were with her not to mention gave her enough orgasms to last five lifetimes.

So do you see what the morality crew's advice gets you?

Now you're sitting alone with your d!ck in your hand.

Very nice Sosuave morality crew, very nice indeed! :crackup:

So yeah next time don't listen to the morality bozos, be a player, tell a girl whatever she wants to hear in order to get up in it, then you'll be hittin it and having a good time instead of being left high and dry.

 

[Kal0051]

"i told her straight up that i didn't want an exclusive relationship with anyone right now. she told me that she is interested in getting into a serious relationship and "it's a shame that we don't want the same things right now". she also said that she doesn't want to hang out (aka have sex) with me anymore - she wants to look for someone who she can have an exclusive relationship with. i was surprised that she reacted maturely through the whole thing. i've heard of guys telling girls this and the girls throwing temper tantrums.

i don't have too much exclusive relationship experience, since i've only had one girlfriend and predominately date, so you all helped a lot with this. thanks for the great advice."

You should of played along for a few weeks or months and boned the crap out of her while seeing other chicks on the side.

Should of boned her until you got caught, chances are even if she caught you she'd still want to keep you in her life and fvcking her if you made her have enough fun while you were with her not to mention gave her enough orgasms to last five lifetimes.

So do you see what the morality crew's advice gets you?

Now you're sitting alone with your d!ck in your hand.

Very nice Sosuave morality crew, very nice indeed! :crackup:

So yeah next time don't listen to the morality bozos, be a player, tell a girl whatever she wants to hear in order to get up in it, then you'll be hittin it and having a good time instead of being left high and dry.

yeah, that's a great idea, be an *******. It was obvious that this girl wanted a relationship. I've seen this situation too many times, and either this happened or the girl got hurt. I'd rather be a good person (a good person isn't necessarily an afc) than a ******* player any day. If this guy had other girls than this girl leaving (on good terms) shouldn't affect him that much. He had some fun with her, he'll probably find a girl to replace her and she'll find that guy that wants to be in a exclusive relationship with her. So everyone involved wins. That's how I see it at least.

 

[K.Pez]

You should of played along for a few weeks or months and boned the crap out of her while seeing other chicks on the side.

Should of boned her until you got caught, chances are even if she caught you she'd still want to keep you in her life and fvcking her if you made her have enough fun while you were with her not to mention gave her enough orgasms to last five lifetimes.

So do you see what the morality crew's advice gets you?

Now you're sitting alone with your d!ck in your hand.

Very nice Sosuave morality crew, very nice indeed! :crackup:

So yeah next time don't listen to the morality bozos, be a player, tell a girl whatever she wants to hear in order to get up in it, then you'll be hittin it and having a good time instead of being left high and dry.

hahah! i'm not sitting with my d!ck in my hand at all. this wasn't the only girl i have which is why i didn't feel like i needed to be desperate and lie to her about being her boyfriend just to keep her around. i'm happy with my decision, cus now i have time to get a new girl, which will be more exciting than keeping the same girl around. it's time to get a little more variety, i was getting bored.

now i got 2 girls on steady rotation instead of 3 - big deal. i said i don't have a lot of exclusive relationship experience, never said i don't have "fvcking only" experience. thanks for your advice anyways though.

 

[mothballs]

Sounds like you did exactly what you needed to. There's nothing worse than playing with someone's heart deliberately... filling them with false hope or security.

 

[KontrollerX]

"hahah! i'm not sitting with my d!ck in my hand at all."

A common problem on the forum is topic creators never including all the relevant information that we should know about their lives in the topic so reasonable assumptions can always be expected for these kinds of posts. Thats the way it is and its nice you seemed to of realized this with your reasonable reply just now.

"this wasn't the only girl i have which is why i didn't feel like i needed to be desperate and lie to her about being her boyfriend just to keep her around."

"Desperate" is how the morality crew and the feminists would have you look at it.

Tricking and lying a girl into bed can also be looked at as simply doing yourself a favor and not creating hassles and NEEDLESS loss of opportunity for yourself but I digress.

If doing things the hard way and feeling morally superior make you feel better than busting a nut on that girl's face and having three girl's in the bullpen instead of two I guess thats what floats your boat for now.

I find that fvcking retarded thinking but hey its your life.

Just saying brah you can have a lot more fun getting dirty in the game than basking in retarded moral superiority but hey thats just my opinion.

"i said i don't have a lot of exclusive relationship experience, never said i don't have "fvcking only" experience. thanks for your advice anyways though."

Yep. You're welcome.

Hopefully some day you come to realize benefitting yourself is more important in this short life that we all live on the planet than worrying about being morally superior.

The guys that are tricked into caring about being morally superior by society bask in that programmed joy meanwhile the guys that could give a fvck less about that sh!t are getting far more out of life in terms of pleasure, wealth and many other things but whatever.

I stated my case and you chose the morality crew way of being.

Thats cool.

You can always change your mind down the line if you want and really start living it up.

 

[KSUgamer]

KontrollerX,

It looks like I'm on the morality crew. It seems like you and Logical Player and whoever else really care about what people think of you, is this the same way in real life? I mean, I'm guessing the girls you date have friends and you might have friends? What are their impressions of you? Do they know you get in fake relationships with girls to have sex with them and cheat on them on the side?

I have a feeling you're gonna get a reputation soon, and you'll have to move somewhere else to get your pus*y soon. Also...how is wealth related to having sex with multiple girls? or are you going along the lines of lying, scamming, cheating or stealing to gain wealth?

Again these are just questions that I'd like to have answered, I'm not arguing with you. I'd just like to know, cuz it seems guys like you are getting what they want. I just want to know what side effects come with that.

 

[jahidi]

Hopefully some day you come to realize benefitting yourself is more important in this short life that we all live on the planet than worrying about being morally superior.

The guys that are tricked into caring about being morally superior by society bask in that programmed joy meanwhile the guys that could give a fvck less about that sh!t are getting far more out of life in terms of pleasure, wealth and many other things but whatever.

I agree, not just with women but many other things in life. There are a lot of opportunities that I have seen in the world that lots of people's morals would prevent them from taking advantage of. I don't believe in karma or "what goes around comes around" or any of that.

That said, I would have done what the OP did because I hate creating drama in my life. Especially since he's in college and could get a reputation if he got caught cheating.

He's still having sex with other girls, so unless this one was really hot and the best out the 3, it's not a big loss.

 

[Alphamale1821]

boyfriend? that would be selfish of me to the other potentially lucky ladies, but i can be you "boy friend" as in i'm a boy and your a girl who happen to be "friends". If conveyed from a prize mentality she will want to fuuck you on the spot more then likely b/c u showed her that you are a man with options