Deal Breakers for potential relationships

[zinc4]

Me and one of my buddies were having a debate the other day about red flags or deal breakers when pursuing women for anything more than casual dating.....

He agreed that a girl on meds was a deal breaker but stated a girls past sexual history shouldn't matter which I strongly disagreed with. He then went on to confess this chick he is seeing was once coherced into a Threesome by her ex boyfriend with another guy....two guys and this one girl....

he then said he doesn't judge her for that because she says she only did it because she wanted to please her ex who dumped her three times by the way....my friend then said he wants to seriously date this girl and I told him the Threesome and the fact she was dumped three times should be a deal breaker.....not to mention she admitted to him that she slept around a good bit to get over her ex.

But he has all of these excuse s saying she is really a good hearted girl who only did it because she was hurt...blah blah ....not to mention he noted that she has told him her own sister routine ly calls her a slut.

I told him that this girl is bad news and everything he listed was a deal breaker and to just use her for sex....he then got all defensive and said I was way too judgemental about people and women in general....

This guy even reads sosuave from time to time .....please help me talk some sense into him...I want to show him this thread before he enters deep waters so to speak.

Am I being to critical? I think not, but more logical opinions are always nice.

 

[jurry]

Dont really see the problem, cant change the past.. If they like each other and have a strong connection/relationship, who really gives a shìt?

I would tend to agree on the meds thing tho, generally a bad sign as far as LTR goes.. But again there are no real absolutes in relationships, never know what kind of attraction two people may develop against all odds.

 

[zinc4]

The problem is, despite what she says to him, she's a slut....and obviously has no self respect...can't make a ho a house wife that old saying is cliche but true....and you can't get much sluttier than a girl banging two guys at once... I don't see how anyone could consider this girlfriend material...

 

[GS750]

Your buddy is dating Finger cuffs? Lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxKHcFTPi9A

 

[Fireballs]

I have a don't ask don't tell policy when it comes to sexual past. But if she's stupid enough to tell me she had a slutty past, she would get demoted to being just a fvck buddy.

 

[zinc4]

A girl who has had sex with two guys at once...I just couldn't ever introduce her to my family in good conscience.... nor could I ever imagine taking her seriously...maybe it's judgemental, but I can't view someone with such a history as really dateable...

 

[zinc4]

Come on guys help me out here...I want to show him this thread but so far I got split opinions.... a girl with that kind of history can't be trusted nor taken seriously...am I wrong? Not to mention she isn't completely over her ex who dumped her three times.

 

[Rival]

No way I would be in a LTR with someone who had threesomes and ****. To me that shows she just has no self respect/low morals. I bet she has daddy issues lol.

Who wants what everyone else has had? I second what fireballs said.

 

[MtnMan]

Come on guys help me out here...I want to show him this thread but so far I got split opinions.... a girl with that kind of history can't be trusted nor taken seriously...am I wrong? Not to mention she isn't completely over her ex who dumped her three times.

you are asking for people to back you up on your OPINION. Its not a fact, so no one can really back you up on it.

Everyone has their own rules about dealbreakers, and that is fine. You voiced your opinion to your buddy, and he didn't want to change his mind. So let it be.

If the girl turns out to be a total loser, you can revel in that secret satisfaction if you must.

Its definitely good to know what your own personal limits are, but don't expect your buddies to feel the same always.

I have had the same argument with my good friend about women with short hair. I think short hair is gross, and I also think it makes a very unattractive political and social statement. He actually ENCOURAGES girls to cut their hair short. Who is right here? No one, its just personal opinion. We always have to agree to disagree.

 

[zinc4]

It's not just an opinion... it's pretty much a biological fact that women with promiscuous histories don't make good long term mates because their ability to bond is impaired.....it's just as big as a red flag as meds. Your comparison to hair length is Apple's and oranges.

 

[MtnMan]

well, there you go, you have your deal breakers worked out just fine.

 

[Ray S]

It's up to her who she lives her life but from a guys perspective you are playing with fire getting involved with her.

 

[Mr Wright]

You can't force someone to see this sort of thing. They have to get burned before they realise, the best you can do is be supportive and if the crap does hit the fan be there as a mate for the guy. Next time he may listen to you more but now the more pressure you put on him, the more likely he is to go in the other direction.

I understand where you're coming from but he clearly doesn't share the same sentiment so you have to leave it.

 

[The_411]

Sometimes people have to get burned by the stove they realize they shouldn't touch it anymore. My general rule of thumb is that if you have defend a girl's actions she's a lost cause, because defending to me implies denial of certain red flag behaviors and lack of imposing boundaries out of fear.

 

[DonGorgon]

i need a lot of sex and when a females slows down the sex or stops it in mean the relationship is sending nor over cause women always love sex buit they love out with different men at different times..

 

[TheBossman]

I thought most guys wanted 3 ways with another girl... not another dude. Sounds like she got her s!ut fantasy fulfilled.

 

[yoyoing]

Ok there is a big difference with a girl that is into threesome ! And a girl that did a threesome once or twice just to try.
And also the fact that she has been dumped by the same guy 3 times does not make her damage good for eternity. Girl can also learn from past experience.

But one thing I would look into with this kind of girl . Is partner count. Emotional stability. Etc. Was she slutty once or she has a big slutty past ?!

Relationship with slutty girl are possible but they are just a lot harder to manage and who wants to waste energy with that when life is already hard.

There is not many women nowadays who did not have some kind of slutty period in their life.

I would say not enough information to give advice here OP.

 

[BraddH]

Not a breaker. Go for it.

 

[zinc4]

From what I have heard I'm guessing partner count is at least 25 or higher...furthermore... he met her on POF and she met all of her exes online he says...

 

[yoyoing]

Yeah ... I don't know . He should date her for a while and see. I know very slutty girl who went and got married and are still married and faithful to this day. It's hard to give advice online when you haven't met the person.

But I don't think that there's enough red flag her to go crazy on your friend not to date her.
Just tell your friend to keep is guard up and keep a strong frame...

The worst women are the slutty one who also have sign of hpd/bdp ...
They will make your life a living nighmare ,...