Iron Rule of Tomassi #3
Any woman who makes you wait for sex, or by her actions implies she is making you wait for sex; the sex is NEVER worth the wait.
When women make you wait for sex you are not their highest priority. Sexuality is spontaneous chemical reaction between two parties, not a process of negotiation. It's sex first, then relationship, not the other way around. A woman who wants to fukk you will fly across the country, crawl under barbwire, climb in through your second story bedroom window, ƒuck the sh!t out of you and wait patiently inside your closet if your wife comes home early from work - women who want to ƒuck will find a way to ƒuck. The girl who tells you she wants a relationship first is the same girl who fukked the hot guy in the foam cannon party in Cancun on spring break half an hour after meeting him.
If a girl is that into you she'll ƒuck regardless of ASD or having her friends in the room videotaping it at a frat party. All women can be sluts, you just have to be the right guy to bring it out in them, and this happens before you go back to her place. If you have to plead your case cuddling and spooning on the bed or getting the occasional peck on the cheek, you need to go back to square one and start fresh.
Iron Rule of Tomassi #4
NEVER under any circumstance live with a woman you aren't married to or are not planning to marry in within 6 months.
You are utterly powerless in this situation. NEVER buy a home with a girlfriend, NEVER sign a rental lease with a girlfriend. NEVER agree to move into her home and absolutely NEVER move a woman into your own established living arrangement. I'm adamantly opposed to the "shacking up" dynamic, it is a trap that far too many men allow themselves to fall into. My fervor agianst this isn't based on some moral issue, it it simple pragmatism.
I know a fellow right now who is in the pit of misery with a girl he signed an apartment lease with for a year and has had to basically live with his ex for the past 5 months and wont get out of the lease until May. If you live with a woman you may as well be married because upon doing so every liability and accountability of marriage is then in effect. You not only lose any freedom of annonymity you commit to, legally, being responsible for the continuation of your living arrangements regardless of how your relationship decays.
I should also emphasize the point that when you commit (and it is a financial committment) to cohabiting with a GF you will notice a marked decrease in her sexual availability and desire, trust me on this. All of that competitive anxiety and it's resulting sexual tension that made your single sex life so great is removed from her shoulders and she can comfortably relax in the knowledge that she is your ONLY source of sexual intimacy.
Putting your name on that lease with her (even if it's just your name) is akin to signing an insurance polcy for her - "I the undersigned promise not to fukk any woman but this girl for a one year term." She thinks, "if he wasn't serious about me, he wouldn't have signed the lease." Now all of that impetus and energy that made having marathon sex with you an outright necessity is relaxed. She controls the frame and she's got it in writing that it is for at least a year.
Just don't do it. Relationships last best when you spin more plates or at the very least keep each other at arm's distance. Look how this applies to your situation here.
Iron Rule of Tomassi #7
It is always time and effort better spent developing new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship.
Never root through the trash once the garbage has been dragged to the curb. You get messy, your neighbors see you do it, and what you thought was worth digging for is never what you thought it was.
Iron Rule of Tomassi #9
NEVER SELF-DEPRECIATE under any circumstance. This is a Kiss of Death that you self-initiate and is the antithesis of the PRIZE mentality.
Once you've accepted yourself as a "complete douche" there's no going back to confidence with a woman. Never appeal to a woman's sympathies, her sympathies are given by her own volition, NEVER when they are begged for. Even if you don't seriously consider yourself pathetic, it never serves your best interest to paint yourself as pathetic. Self-Depreciation is a misguided tool for the AFC, and not something a true DJ will ever consider.
That said self-depreciation is pervasive and something that I myself have been guilty of in the past. You have to be hyper-aware of it and unlearn it. You have to catch yourself in mid-sentence so to speak. Women operate in the sub-communications and when you OVERTLY admit to a lack of confidence you may as well just LJBF yourself. That's a strong impression you wont recover from. Women want a compitent, confident, decisive Man not one who's self-image is that of a "complete douche" or even a partial douche. I should add that when you become hyper-aware of this you can also turn it to your own advantage when AMOGing or you're working a girl with a self-depreciative BF or other suitor. It's all too easy to reinforce her estimation of a guy like this by covertly confirming it for her, while at the same time playing up your own confidence and value.
All of this is not to say that it's wrong to recognize your own weaknesses and understanding when you're in the wrong. It's simply how you go about addressing them that's the point. We had a thread here not too long ago about admitting when both of you are wrong and this got me to thinking about healthy ways of communicating this. There are plenty of way to assume the responsibilties of fault that aren't self-depreciating. The easiest way is to always adopt the attitude that you're 'getting better all the time'. This mentality fosters confidence and projects ambition, whereas self-depreciation shoves your nose in the dog sh!t and says "please love me anyway?"
Another Iron Rule of Tomassi:
No Girlfriend is ALWAYS preferable to settling for any girlfriend.
The opposite of this smacks, no, it reeks of ONEitis, a complete lack of confidence and supplication. You are not the PRIZE, if you'll settle for anything less than an optimal situation with a woman and the women you would want to get with will pick up on this like you were wearing a sandwich board on a busy intersection advertising it.
A man's default should ALWAYS be to opt for no attachment rather than becoming involved in a less than perfect opportunity. Your independence is your strongest attractant and something a man should jealously guard - only then will he, and the woman chooses to share it with truly appreciate his own value.
Also, while I will agree that rating a woman on a 1-10 scale is most definitely adjusted by geographical regions, I also think that there is no such thing as a perfect 10 based only on her appearance. Performance makes up that last point. I wouldn't buy a Corvette that had a moped engine under the hood.
