"Creeped Out" & "Stalker"

[Joe Stud]

Good Evening Fellow DJ's,
Usually have no questions... and many answers regarding women. But tonight I would like your opinion.

A female friend age 40, of about 2 wks has e-mailed back n forth with me. We hit it off well, and both of us are ball busters. Makes the workday go by. The other nite, I dropped off a bike I made out of scrap parts hanging around. I made sure it was after hours, not to impose. She thanked me the next day, she loved it. I had forgot one part. So the next nite I dropped off the other part, again at her place, again late at night- as not to impose. In the bag, I also included 3 or 4 dollar store gadgets I had sitting around. One was a door alarm (and I included a note: "to alert you if I am breaking in"). Also included was a small flashlite (and I attached a note: "to check under your bed to see if I am there hiding"). Lastly, included was a tape measure (attached a note "for you to measure joe stud's ..."). I said it with the 3 dots: ... That was it. Well I didn't hear from her for a day or two. So I e-mailed her saying "you are avoiding me". Anyway she admitted she was "creeped out" by my notes, and said something about her stalker "antenna" went up. Apparently she has been stalked? I apoligized like a man, and explained that I was just playing, but probably went too far. I know that she knows I am a ball buster, because she calls me crazy and I call her the same. The conversation went semi-ok after that, and we chatted about other things. I felt uncomfortable, as if walking on eggshells - which was new for us.

I must admit I was shocked & a bit hurt, as I figured she knows me, and why would she think this way. Where I come from, if you refer to a man as a "stalker" or use the words "creeped out", it is almost as bad as referring to a woman as a "slut". It sort of labels them in a bad way, especially to the opposite sex. I thought to myself: "does she really think I am atually giving her an alarm & flashlite to keep me from breaking in, and hiding under her bed? Does she really think I am giving her a 25' tape measure to measure my johnson (I wish lol).

I'm sorry to post such a stupid thought here guys, I just thought I would get your opinions on what transpired, and what to do (if anything). She's a kind, sensitive, fun-loving good girl, and I didn't have the heart to let her know I was hurt/insulted, because I sense that she would have felt bad about it. Also, I don't like to let ANY woman know she offended/hurt me... because I consider that sort of a sign of weakness. Also I usually believe in "taking the high road". So I just let it pass. I must admit, I now feel awkward with any type of sexual or pine joking, when previously I felt she was ok with it, as it was all in good fun (at least to me it was). She's beautiful, inside & out, but I never hit on her. She has a bf, and besides I have a full stable anyway. LOL Thoughts?

 

[Tiguere]

Well you are in your 50's. That kind of thing goes well with high school kids. So I agree you went overboard with the notes. Now are you able to keep moving forward and put this incident behind you? Because you should.

 

[Joe Stud]

Of course. Just wondered what some of the guys thought.

 

[f283000]

1. You shouldn't have emailed her asking her if she is avoiding you: That alone makes you look needy and weak. Let's say James Bond had done what you did. Do you think he would be emailing some woman asking why she is avoiding him? As if somehow he is wondering if he hurt her feelings or something? of course not!
2. The last time that a note was written to for most women by a man was back in high school. It just doesn't look good for guys older than 18 to be writing notes. Mature women want masculine men and they expect them to project their interest in masculine ways.
3. Women are not stupid: You said you never hit on her then tell me what were those notes? You telling me she didn't think you were hitting on her when she read those notes? Women can tell when a guy is interested from a mile away. Good looking women have been hit on all their lives don't think for 1 minute she didn't think of you hitting on her.

 

[Joe Stud]

I guess you are right. I must add... some of the previous notes were because I was leaving something at her home, and wanted to let her know who it was from, etc. ALL notes aren't taboo (if you are NOT hitting on a woman correct)? If I was just leaving a note on how to use the bike (special type), that would have been ok. Not "high school". It's just the sexual nature of the last notes on the trinkets that went too far... I must agree. I just thought to myself <where's her sense of humor?> Also since most hot women are used to guys hitting on them (which I really wasn't), don't most of them just laugh it off? Like Zsa Zsa Gabor used to say to her costars: "oh c'mon now darling... behave yourself, hehe" Those are the types I like. Mentioning the "creeped out and stalker thought was unnecessary in my opinion. But I guess my opinion was wrong. I guess that gets tossed out when a man (who isn't Brad Pitt, as they say) crosses the line. Guess I had it coming. I will stand up and take it. Thanks guys.

 

[Rescue Mission]

Good Evening Fellow DJ's,
Usually have no questions... and many answers regarding women. But tonight I would like your opinion.

A female friend age 40, of about 2 wks has e-mailed back n forth with me. We hit it off well, and both of us are ball busters. Makes the workday go by. The other nite, I dropped off a bike I made out of scrap parts hanging around. I made sure it was after hours, not to impose. She thanked me the next day, she loved it. I had forgot one part. So the next nite I dropped off the other part, again at her place, again late at night- as not to impose. In the bag, I also included 3 or 4 dollar store gadgets I had sitting around. One was a door alarm (and I included a note: "to alert you if I am breaking in"). Also included was a small flashlite (and I attached a note: "to check under your bed to see if I am there hiding"). Lastly, included was a tape measure (attached a note "for you to measure joe stud's ..."). I said it with the 3 dots: ... That was it. Well I didn't hear from her for a day or two. So I e-mailed her saying "you are avoiding me". Anyway she admitted she was "creeped out" by my notes, and said something about her stalker "antenna" went up. Apparently she has been stalked? I apoligized like a man, and explained that I was just playing, but probably went too far. I know that she knows I am a ball buster, because she calls me crazy and I call her the same. The conversation went semi-ok after that, and we chatted about other things. I felt uncomfortable, as if walking on eggshells - which was new for us.

I must admit I was shocked & a bit hurt, as I figured she knows me, and why would she think this way. Where I come from, if you refer to a man as a "stalker" or use the words "creeped out", it is almost as bad as referring to a woman as a "slut". It sort of labels them in a bad way, especially to the opposite sex. I thought to myself: "does she really think I am atually giving her an alarm & flashlite to keep me from breaking in, and hiding under her bed? Does she really think I am giving her a 25' tape measure to measure my johnson (I wish lol).

I'm sorry to post such a stupid thought here guys, I just thought I would get your opinions on what transpired, and what to do (if anything). She's a kind, sensitive, fun-loving good girl, and I didn't have the heart to let her know I was hurt/insulted, because I sense that she would have felt bad about it. Also, I don't like to let ANY woman know she offended/hurt me... because I consider that sort of a sign of weakness. Also I usually believe in "taking the high road". So I just let it pass. I must admit, I now feel awkward with any type of sexual or pine joking, when previously I felt she was ok with it, as it was all in good fun (at least to me it was). She's beautiful, inside & out, but I never hit on her. She has a bf, and besides I have a full stable anyway. LOL Thoughts?

You are 28 years older than me, BUT I can still make a great observation here:

How much do you think your mom busted your dad's balls? I bet not that much.

My point is, a good woman will not be a "ball buster", that term sounds like something that us men have been forced to accept from bitter women in general, instead of the sweet, loving respect that we deserve. Any woman that busts my balls, I automatically just try to have sex with her, and do not ever take her seriously in any way! If she says no to sex, then I move on instantly!!

There are way too many sweet nice women out there to give a ball busting feminist dyke even a minute of your time.

The notes you left, if a sweet loving women got them, she would have LOVED them, thought they were CUTE, thought they were SPECIAL, and your connection to that women would have just been furthered..........instead, you got this unappreciative feminist CVNT who sees every single goddamn nice thing that a man does, as possibly "creepy" and "stalkerish", and cannot appreciate a MAN being his funny dominating self!!

Feminism is a mental disorder, stay away from women who have it, YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO RELATE TO THEM ON THEIR LEVEL.

EDIT: And if she was offended that you were hitting on her even though she has a boyfriend, she should have just said "Listen, I have a boyfriend, so please don't hit on me" - but logic escaped this man-hating feminist

 

[dap]

I agree with you about the similarity between "slut" and "stalker." The way I would have responded would be with an apology, but then I would have shown that I was still comfortable with myself and not obsessed with her by adding something like: "besides, I hardly ever stalk my current girlfriend, just ask her." You could probably come up with something better. After the apology and joke, maybe ask her about something else (e.g. "did you hear about the boss's wife?") to downplay anything uncomfortable and show you have moved on.

However, it may not have been appropriate to joke about your pen!s when you both are in committed relationships... or at least thats not my style

Good luck!

 

[Joe Stud]

Thanks Rescue & Dap, those were my initial thoughts too. However some of the other DJ's are correct too in saying I went too far. We did get through it, and I will just wipe it clean, and move on. No problem. I can now see however, how a guy can easily get in trouble for making a comment to a female he previously thought would just laugh it off. Not a good idea. Think I'll save the sexual natured ranting for the guys. LOL
However... I will NEVER say to her, some of the things I say to some of the other female HB"s I socialize with... who simply give it back to me, or say "yeah, Joe Stud, you wish!", one HB9 in particular tells me all about the sex she had, etc. Her way of backing away when the kidding gets too hot is saying "easy there sparky". She's a lot of fun. LOL

Ps... we have been out drinking with friends. And last week I had invited her out drinking again, and she agreed... but said "this week is crazy busy, next week". I think I will refrain from drinking with her. No sense asking for trouble.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

This "creeper" bs has gone too far, now you hear guys calling each other this crap.

It is another feminist device perpetuated by the liberal media and facebook (the matrix incarnate).

 

[PappyS]

If you never make any sexual moves towards a woman, she might say you're a "fag" or a "weirdo". Make sexual moves and you're a creeper.

 

[Joe Stud]

LOL u guys are abstract and deep. Good! Thanks!

 

[Robert28]

do what i do, use it on them! there was this girl i had gone out with 3 times and all of a sudden she dropped off the face of the earth. i contacted her once after our last date, never got a response so i moved on. fast forward a few months and said girl was at a local bar and came up to me and my friends and said "hey what's up?" as if nothing ever happened. i just kinda looked at her, laughed a little and said "oh so NOW you talk to me? that's kind of creepy." and walked off. it wasnt creepy, but it felt good to throw it at the female population for a change.haha i hope it made her feel just as good inside as it does us when we get told that.

 

[cmr662]

Let me get this right, she has a boyfriend, you've known her for 2 weeks, your dropping things off at her house late at night without seeing her, and you're leaving notes and other items? Dude, hate to say it, but that DOES sound creepy...

 

[Robert28]

Let me get this right, she has a boyfriend, you've known her for 2 weeks, your dropping things off at her house late at night without seeing her, and you're leaving notes and other items? Dude, hate to say it, but that DOES sound creepy...

the stupid chick is just as guilty emailing him back and forth and letting it get that far. she could have cut off contact to begin with but she let it progress.

 

[Joe Stud]

Thanks Robert! Thanks to you too cmr, although there are extenuating circumstances. I finished the bike late at nite, so o put it at her door to surprise her as she came out of the house. And BTW, she wrote me immediately thanking me immensely. Boyfriend or not, we are social friends, and although the majority of the notes were instructional on the bike, the last few were "over the line".

Cmr: Of course you know how that can happen, first hand, right? Like trying to be clever in a text convo, and having such a brain fart, that your best line is to question a chicks bathing habits? Then you appear needy by asking her to text you later in the day, if she gets bored; (like a puppydog waiting for table scraps). A pathetic attempt at C & F, then contradicted by the beg factor for more texts? <"Dude": Insert foot in mouth> WEAK! BTW It's been since 3-9-10 since the over-analysis of that goofy conversation and no FR. Something tells me she lost interest in you? Otherwise a FR would have appeared by now? Update us please, my friend.

 

[cmr662]

Joe Stud - WOW!! So you result to trying to call me out about one of my old threads just because I was honest with you???!!!

Since you are wanting more information on my story, the reason I haven't posted anything else about this girl is because I know have her! She basically begged me to be exclusive with her about a week and a half ago, and the rest is history. No follow-up posts by me is because I haven't needed any advice!

As for YOU, don't be mad that I called you out for what you really are (actually, she called you out, I just reinforced it). You are a creepy stalker who drops toys and notes off at a girls place late at night. Dude, drop it off when she is around so you can hang out with her. Just because you're old enough to be my dad doesn't mean you can talk to me like it.

Stop being such a creeper and go out and do something with yourself!

 

[Joe Stud]

If I "call you out", you will know it. I do find it curious (and not consistent with your past posts) that although other times you've posted successful FR results, this time you didn't. If you did get the girl (not just her words about being exclusive... f-close). Either way, I was simply BEING HONEST BACK, AND ILLUSTRATING TO YOU HOW ANY GUY CAN MAKE COMMENTS THAT COME OFF AS INAPPROPRIATE (as both you & I did). Got it? Now Dude: I didn't want to run into her, or hang with her, because unlike you I was NOT mackin her. See the diff? BTW whats with the constant reference to my age? I do fine with the women. Ok "sonny"?

 

[WaterTiger]

I think it was the "breaking in" thing that worried her. The media (and fem-nazi propaganda) has made women terrified of crazy guys just waiting for us to go to sleep so they can break in and steal our lace undies.

Wouldn't you feel a little creeped out if she gave you a bullet-proof vest with a note :"Just in case I decide to shoot up the office..."

Just my opinion...

 

[Joe Stud]

Actually a bullet-proof vest costs $600 A serious investment= serious intent. I gave her a $1 flashlite & $1 alarm from the dollar store, as part of the package dropped off. Now she know's I constantly joked & teased. She did her share too, but not as deep as that last set i did. I honestly thought she would roar with laughter. If not, I think she could have easily just chuckled and dismissed it. I know a lot of beautiful women who are good sports like that. I guess I misjudged.

PS... I have been reading the newspaper for well over 40 yrs., and I have never read about a burglar or rapist who had sent advance notice in writing, before he did his deed.

 

[K2000kidd]

Honestly joe, dropping off little notes, knick knacks at her house at odd hours, and finally the time and effort to build her the "scrap bike" as opposed to a fake bug left on her desk shows her you are clearly into her and she probably wants nothing to do with you socially.

I know she might be a ball buster and all but would you have built the bike and left little presents for one of your male coworkers??